Here we go, here we go. 5pm on the dot--I am VERY excited about this photo caption contest. Let the games begin.
The first photo is just made for captions--Give it your best shot.
And yes, John, cash is king, but that Tory Burch tote is totally queen.
GO!!
Come on Ellie May - just slip Jethro some tongue, I mean CPR. It's ok, you're cousins.
ReplyDeleteOh no, Granny, it's Friday and we can't eat meat during Lent! Where'd you put that wood chipper?
ReplyDeleteI think he just heard the Pope drop the F bomb.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, Granny, he'll be alright. He's covered by Obamacare!"
ReplyDeleteI love this one. I'm dying here.
DeleteI thought he'd be happy being a Daddy
ReplyDeleteOh, Linda, you will be a very worthy competitor.
DeleteUt oh - Big Dave just read the credit card bill and there were no Long Islands around to help ease the pain.
ReplyDeleteForget about Texas Tea - the Long Island Ice Teas finally did him in.
ReplyDeleteI told him not to invest in BitCoin!
ReplyDeleteOh no! He forgot to make Laurie's Daisy Cakes!
ReplyDeleteKeep Calm and Hill Billy On.
ReplyDeleteTax Season takes yet another innocent victim.
ReplyDeleteYou can also substitute 'Winter' for 'Tax Season'.
DeleteEllie May, you been cooking again, ain't you?
ReplyDeleteI done told him that you had a bosom not fur da faint of heart Ellie May.
ReplyDeleteThe idea of a threesome just did not set well with him...
ReplyDeleteToday at All Saints they not only learned about classic TV but the results of In-breeding as well. Common Core eat you heart out.
ReplyDeleteGranny, please don't tell me that you told him I used to be a man!
ReplyDeleteGranny, I said to give him lunch NOT a punch!
ReplyDeleteGranny, did you just flash him?
ReplyDeleteA quick popsicle-ing spell and UpFish is out
ReplyDeleteHarmony hopes that HP isn't dead because he's the only person in the world who likes her.
DeleteThese are my Wizard People entries - cheating or no?
DeleteNo cheating. I'm crying. The Harmony one is a total classic.
DeleteCrumbs and Carrots! You'd better tell Professor HardCastle McCormack that we've lost another cribbage player.
ReplyDeleteI told you not to tell him Obama won a third term.
ReplyDelete'Beefy Weefs was the most obnoxious boy in the world,' shall be engraved on his headstone.
ReplyDeleteYoung lady....I told you to keep him the hell away from my weed!
ReplyDeleteAll the Youngin's have no clue about this scene. Just proves knowledge comes with age.
ReplyDeleteGranny what happened? Honey.....I kicked him in the balls to make sure he had some!
ReplyDeletePharrell had the stars dancing in their seats at the Oscars, but one trip to Little Rock put him down for the count.
ReplyDeleteHe looks sick, have you checked him for diseases?
ReplyDeleteMaybe if you weren't such a brickhouse boys wouldn't have to resort to playing dead
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrBx6mAWYPU
Hey you threw him away, but look, here he is.
ReplyDeleteBring it
DeleteJamarcus will shamelessly go for quantity just like at every McKeon Easter Egg hunt. He's won a lot of Easter Egg hunts.
ReplyDeleteTwas the blue tea pot. He was the chosen one. He was the prophet.
ReplyDeleteI can do quantity too. It's not like I have a job or a family or anything.
Deletegloves are coming off. let's do this
DeleteOh yeah? Looks like you took last night off to sleep.
DeleteAfter I drop my young 'uns at the school house, I'm back for round 2.
DeleteJoann, the youngsters always fade…they start out strong, but rarely make it to the finish line.
DeleteNo, really, it's true - FB paid $19 billion for WhatsApp. It's funny to me too.
ReplyDeleteHey Pete, if you can't run with big dogs, stay on the porch
ReplyDeleteGranny what did you do to him? This city boy wanted to experience a hillbilly-style wrestling match,,,,I reckon he won't ask again.
ReplyDeleteHey what's he doing there?
ReplyDeleteWhat's done is done, Nicholas.
ReplyDeleteCaterpillars don't teach science! Gunner = Mind Blown.
ReplyDeleteLooks like this Prairie Dog heard about his favorite housewife hitting the road to the big house.
ReplyDeleteHe got a real pretty mouth, ain't he?
ReplyDeleteBest one yet. Joann is VERY VERY good at this.
DeleteI am having so much fun! (And shamelessly leaning on the internet. My Google searches are going to be forever altered by the Hill Billy and Deliverance searches.)
DeleteDeliverance totally freaks me out--but I love the references.
DeleteEllie May - he just heard they aren't bringing Breaking Bad back.
ReplyDeleteHey ole orphan Anne-Marie, do All Prairie Dogs Go to Heaven?
ReplyDeleteNice one, Kim.
DeleteI bet he can squeal like a pig! Weeee!
ReplyDeleteGosh darn it, he played a mean banjo.
ReplyDeleteGranny what did you do to Colonel Angus?
ReplyDeletelmao
DeleteThank you - I aim to please.
Deletehttp://screen.yahoo.com/colonel-angus-comes-home-000000562.html
Come on people, what the hell? It’s gotta be the brain, don’t y’all know nothin’?
ReplyDeleteThe line’s pretty clear, zero tolerance for walkers.
ReplyDeleteOh Granny, don't tell Pa but I think I just killed Jethro!
ReplyDeleteYou go lookin’ for aspirin, do what you need to do. Somebody needs some balls to take care of this problem.
ReplyDeleteHe just found out Darth Vader is his father.
ReplyDeleteI still think it’s a mistake, not burning these bodies. That’s what we’d said we’d do, right? Burn ‘em all. Weren’t that the idea?
ReplyDeleteDaryl quotes from Walking Dead are like a treasure trove for this photo.
DeleteDag nab it, Ellie Mae! I told you not to let him drink that moonshine. Just leave 'em he'll wake in a few days!
ReplyDeleteTake the shot. Clean, in the brain, from here. Hell, I can hit a Turkey between the eyes form this distance.
ReplyDeleteIt was a night like many others. Granny was walking around aimlessly. The sky was a effervescent shade of pink. The rainy season has a way of bringing out the colors in full range Kodachrome fashion. Leroy had just finished piling the wood for the stove and the night was progressing nicely. Suddenly and without warning Ellie May fell to a knee. Leroy said, "aw Ellie May, you don't have to do that, there will be plenty of time later tonight." Sensing the pheromones from the other room, Granny proved that aimless is just an expression and shot the bastard dead.
ReplyDeleteYou did tell Jessie to get a plastic container didn't you?
ReplyDeleteand in the end, he was dead.
ReplyDeleteOriginal Heinzmann
DeleteTonight's theatre production of THe Beverly Hillbillies has been cancelled because it's still FU#&I@%! WINTER.
ReplyDeleteGrandma Farted
ReplyDeleteA reindeer accidentally ran over Jethro instead of Grandma.
ReplyDeleteJust got home from a meeting---so excited to see these captions. You all are making my night. I'm laughing very hard. Keep it up
ReplyDeleteEllie May and Grandma were the first to arrive and enter the tomb. Jesus was still there but for an unknown reason he was dressed as a cowboy. Then it hit them. On the way to the tomb they saw a police office, a construction worker, an indian, a biker, and an Army man. That's Lentertainment!!!!
ReplyDeleteHahahahahaha. I get to enjoy all of this until 5:00 tomorrow.
DeleteHonestly, thank you guys and keep them coming. Where's fat Nate in all of this?
ReplyDeleteNow here's a little story bout a man named Fred. A young handsome man who did what Granny said. Until one day while screwing Ellie May, took a bullet to the head and fell to the ground dead.
ReplyDeletenicely done.
DeleteThis one took some serious grey matter... well played.
DeletePete McKeon (Jethro) in the St. Joseph Catholic High School Musical, The Beverly Hillbillies, took a much needed nap during the opening night performance Saturday. Somehow the stunt earned rave reviews from the Kenosha Theatre set.
ReplyDeleteagain, not sure why they call the rufis. Shouldn't they be called floories?
ReplyDeleteIs that "skinny Dave"? Did he faint from seeing Laurie model "vintage" Laura Ashley?
ReplyDeletewhat's with the red and green pants? oops, sorry, wrong picture.
ReplyDeleteSeriously?!? Another Dick Cheney hunting "incident"?
ReplyDeletehahaha--nice one, Jessica.
DeleteCould you please give us a heads up next time?
ReplyDeleteI don't have time for a goddamn funeral right now!
ReplyDeleteI told you that I was to die for!
ReplyDeleteJust what we needed at the end of the day.....more to clean up.
ReplyDeleteIf you're dead you're dead. But if you are not you are in big trouble!
ReplyDeleteWorst first date ever!
ReplyDeleteLove this one.
DeletePolice are set to question Ellie Mae Clampett for the Double Barrel Sling Shot murder of Billy Ray Walton.
ReplyDeletereckon you done what you done because you didn't know we was who we was. And if we hadn't been who we was, we'd have still been much obliged for you to have done what you done.
ReplyDeleteThe boy used to lay around the cabin so much, his Ma had to dust him.
ReplyDelete"Shut up Granny, I know he couldn't take it like a man!"
ReplyDelete"Now I need to find me another groom by Saturday!"
ReplyDelete"Granny your moonshine....it didn't wreck him it has damn near killed him!"
ReplyDelete"Quick call a doctor! Oh...he is the town's Doctor!"
ReplyDeleteWho's 'King of All Sports' now, Putin?
ReplyDeletePioneer Woman, of recipe blogging fame, reveals that she will stop at nothing to rule the internet.
ReplyDeleteHigh probability here
DeleteRedneck Olympic Champion, Jethro Clampet, died today in a domestic incident. The matriarch of the family, Granny Clampet, warned reporters to stay away and ask "them prohibition folk" to stop searching for her Pappy's stills.
ReplyDeleteCall 911. I don't know what happened. He was talking about Idina Menzel's wicked performance at the Oscars and totally stroked out. It was Travolta-fying!
ReplyDeleteYou can Travoltafy your own name at http://www.slate.com/articles/arts/low_concept/2014/03/john_travolta_called_idina_menzel_adele_dazeem_what_s_your_travolta_name.html
DeleteLast week an I.R.S. agent returned from the Smoky Mountains claiming that a group of hillbillies kidnapped him and threatened to "nuke him up real good." The bomb's existence was later confirmed by a team of scientists who, after finding the weapon in a hay thresher, were run out by a family armed with a shotgun and three dogs named Duke. "It is primitive yet brilliant," said Dr. Seymour Butz, the Pentagon's chief investigator.
ReplyDeleteGranny, the matriarch of the hillbillies in question, released a statement to the media yesterday, "Now that we got us this 'nuke-lar' thing, y'all best stay off our land lest we commence to incin'ratin' folks 'till Hell won't have 'em!"
Said the U.S. Secretary of Defense, "We can only pray that the hillbilly culture is advanced enough to understand the sophisticated theory of peace through nuclear deterrence."
Totally ripped this from the Onion.com... it truly is America's finest news source.
DeleteJust because it's lifted doesn't mean it's not funny. You guys are too good.
DeleteWell Ellie Mae, it's an old Parcell family recipe that calls for Union soldier meat with boiled potatoes.
ReplyDelete"No, no, no, Ellie Mae! I said, 'Show him your RUBIES.'"
ReplyDeleteStacy strikes again….love, love, love this
DeleteOk Granny, you can have his feet because yours seem to be missing.
ReplyDeleteI'd rather be that guy than working at this hell hole!!!!!
ReplyDelete"He at least could have taken his hat off, don't ya think Granny?
ReplyDeleteYou can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.
ReplyDeleteDang nabbit, why is it Jethro always gets the goods. He ain't got to get up in the morning no more.
ReplyDelete"Don't just stand there, Granny...start picking his pockets!"
ReplyDeleteWhen you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.
ReplyDeleteMm mm. I reckon he hit one too many pot holes on the way over here.
ReplyDelete"If he wakes up we have some explaining to do."
ReplyDelete"I don't know his name. We just met in our Millinery class."
ReplyDeleteAwesome use of the word millinery!
DeleteEM: Dang it, Granny, it's only March fer cryin' out loud! He washed up fer yer birthday. He shouldn't have to do it again '˜til Easter.
ReplyDeleteGranny: Maybe I should just shewt 'em. Take the NASCAR plates off 'is buggy.
Only 434 Representatives to go!!!
ReplyDeleteGranny, this is the guy that f'd up the snowflake during the opening ceremony. Putin wil pay big bucks for him. Quick get a gag before he wakes up.
ReplyDeleteToo late John.. U missed the 5:00 deadline��
Deletewe will let the UN be the judge of that. Rules can change you know....
Deletetime for me to count and score--this was pretty darn incredible. I love the captions and have been laughing for the last hour. Stay tuned. I will post the top captions--it may have to be 10 because there are so many GREAT ones--later tonight. AND check out all the big hits on the blog. winner-me.
ReplyDeleteLord help me. Sorry for not having my shit together and letting me fellow contestants down. For what it's worth I would have cast a pro vote for Judy and Tricia. I don't know how I will make it through the next few weeks without peeing my pants. Thanks for the laughs.
ReplyDelete