Thursday, April 17, 2014

FINAL PHOTO-- and ONE THOUSAND BONUS POINTS??--That's Lentertainment.

The voting for "Toxic Waste" is done, and once again, Judy dominated. It appears that everyone has basically conceded the voting portion of the competition to Judy and her followers. I'm not sure if I am disappointed that the rest of you basically rolled over if I can respect the strategy of conserving your energy for the captions. But mostly I'm wondering how the hell Judy can get all of these people to vote for her in droves, while the rest of you terrific and great people cannot generate much more than 20 votes.  I'm not judging here, just perplexed and a bit scared of Judy's power.

 I will score Toxic Waste tonight, as I watch the Blackhawks play, (Go, Kane) but I need to get the very last photo up.  While I had a suggestion from John to but up that Obama-Biden selfie, I am going with something a bit more joyful, timely and appropriate for Holy Week. Nuns in Bumper Cars…What's not to love here?   I think Sr Jovita would approve.

IMPORTANT RULE CHANGE FOR THIS LAST PHOTO: 
In an effort to make the ticker pop and to keep the excitement high, I am removing the caption cap…Yep, you read that right…no scoring limit to the number of captions you can submit. AND I will count and score EVERY single caption that comes in for this final photo, so shake off the carpal tunnel and get your captions flowing.  This is a HUGE sacrifice on my part, because it is a total pain in my ass to keep counting all those captions and you just know that John and Judy are going to go crazy with this.  Please, Linda, Joann, Rob, Tricia, Jessica, Kiki, Jan  and everyone else, try to caption early and often just to keep John and Judy from killing themselves, each other or me.



As we close out Lentertainment, and head into the Triduum, take some quiet time…. to fashion the best captions ever (you thought I was going to say something holy, didn't you??  Hey, how you live your spiritual life is totally up to you. I just want this blog to hit over 80,000 hits and I'm counting on you all to make this happen. Unlimited captions works well for all of us, doesn't it?) In honor of Sr. Jovita and all those who came before her, with their fancy RayBans and bumper cars, start your captions flowing and let's bring this Lentertainment to the finish line.  

Captions will be accepted until 5:00 tomorrow.  Make these captions exceptional, because I if I have to count each and every one--they better be making me laugh. 

Oh, and did I mention that ONE THOUSAND BIG, BIG EXTRA CREDIT POINTS will be awarded in this final round? -- don't get nervous, but if someone hits it out of the park in this round, they could totally steal this whole contest….yeah, I'm talking to you, Stacy, Sue, Ginny and Mr. Delfava--you have every opportunity for a come from behind victory. 

So, without further ado, Let's get our Lentertainment on and close this contest out with the enormous bang that only nuns in bumper cars can make. 


Wednesday, April 16, 2014

TODAY'S TOXIC FIFTEEN are ready for Karla's votes (and yours, too)

I hope everyone got a chance to view the scoring charts.  Wheewww. Things are super tight. It's shaping up to be a real Lentertainment Battle Royale.  Judy and John are already throwing down in the comment section of the last post, and I must admit, I like their competitive spirit.  Lentertainment  "wasn't about winning or losing. It wasn't about words. The hysterical shouting was in tongues, like at a Pentecostal Church." (borrowed this quote from Fight Club--somehow it seemed appropriate) 
These next few days will determine who is the caption champ--and I think it's going to be a hard battle and a close race. I cannot wait to see what shakes out, and I may have to tweak the rules in the final round, just to separate the wheat from the chaff.  And to keep everyone motivated as we sprint to the finish line, I just want you to know that the prizes have been ordered. They are on their way to my home, arriving any day, beautifully wrapped and ready to be awarded to the Lentertainment winners.  That Tory Burch tote is mighty sweet, but the Sugarfina swag is even sweeter--I seriously could buy EVERY single gummy item they have available--and I pretty much did.  Also, check out these caramel robins eggs. 

 They are not only beautiful but very tasty. Think how AWESOME these would look in your Easter basket.  Oh, that's right. I already did.  You're welcome, McKeon children.  (who are we kidding? I will eat every one of those eggs.  My kids would rather have Reese's eggs all day long--which is great because all the more upscale candy for me…)   Always the value shopper (I honestly could barely type that sentence because it's such a HUGE lie during Holy Week), I had to buy a 5 lb box of the Sugarfina Swedish Fish for myself because it was such a total bargain. (compared to the $18 they charge for the 12.5oz box, that is) I cannot wait for these candies to arrive. Happy Lentetainment to me.  

Now, it's time to get the voting started for today's TOXIC FIFTEEN.  To refresh your recollection here is the photo:




Here are the TOP FIFTEEN (I couldn't decide…I really did try and I tried to talk Beth Matteucci into helping me pick, but she side stepped any part in this whole deal very adroitly) in no apparent order, just awaiting your important, important votes. 

This is where people who don't vote for Judy go.           Tricia

Dishwashing liquid? You're soaking in it.                         John

Great! Another reason for the city not to empty my trash can!!            Linda

"I'm melting....."             Marie

Kenny's skateboard and phone didn't make it out, but Kenny will be fine. Well… except for that dang third testicle…    Stacy

Suzie tried desperately to cover up her Pinterest DIY gone wrong, (terribly wrong). "It's those damn frackers!" she proclaimed.           Jan

I warned the new mascot not to wash his leprechaun suit in hot water.           Ginny

Another SJCA Science Fair project gone awry.           Joann

"Is that Green Bay?"           John

Is this Kathleen Sebelius' driveway?      Jessica 

WARNING: No Swimming, No Fishing                      Judy

Cannonball man has landed.                         Rob

That ain't just pee in there…..                  Sue E

John has set a trap for Karla.                  Rob

It was the first time in years they had reached a unanimous agreement, but at that very moment they all decided to skip the split pea soup.                    Marie

Ok, you all know what to do.  You have until 3pm tomorrow to vote.    Don't make me have to crack down on the rules this late in the game--honor system, people. This is the second to the last photo. I will be monitoring the voting closely and will devote full and complete attention to Lentertainment for the next several days.  I want to see quantity in voting, quality in comments and enormous effort in the quest for extra credit.  If you haven't figured it out by now, I will clue you in: magnanimous gestures and witty repartee in regard to voting usually get rewarded with large extra credit. Start spreading some love and laughs, and good things will come your way.  (like a 5 lb box of the world's best Swedish fish--oh, wait, that's for me) 

 Get out the vote, share the post, do what you have to do to spread the LENTERTAINMENT!! 

SCORING FOR THE POODLE TWINS



Someone (that would be me) has been logging some serious chart time to catch everyone up as we head into the final kick toward the finish line.  I am also scouring the internet to find the best finale picture ever.  I still haven't found what I'm looking for…. (nice U2 reference there--you're welcome)  I kind of wish I would have held back the fat guy on the greased pole, because that one is still my favorite, but I am praying for a Holy Week miracle that drops the perfect photo in my lap…or I'll just give up and post a big head photo of Nate.  Right now, it could go either way…

I will have the TOP TEN captions for that "toxic waste" photo up later this morning, but I really don't like mixing scoring posts with the fun posts so, I want to get this one up first.  Yes, you read that right…that will be THREE posts in less that 24 hours.  I am a goddamn work horse in the name of Lentertainment.  I do want to note that I LOVE the comments you all make in the voting.  Sorry that I don't always comment on them in a timely fashion.  Sometimes I don't read them until a few days later. Sunday I had to scrub all the tailgate stuff and get it put away AND I scoured my garage floor. I was just so sick of the ugly, dirty, gritty crap that gets tracked into my house through the garage that I took a hose, a scrub brush, a squeegee and a huge bottle of dawn out to the garage and went to town.  While Dave McKeon watched the Masters, I suds and scrubbed the garage floor.  We both felt really good about our Sunday afternoons, which pretty much sums us both us.  I will admit that I get a little thrill in my heart from a well organized linen closet, a pristine garage floor or sanitized tale gate paraphernalia. So, I apologize for not following the voting comments more closely, but I was chasing that cleanliness high.  We all need to find our joy somewhere--mine comes from order and the smell of fabric softener. 

Again, I digress…Here is the latest tally chart--HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, this is a close one.  John and Judy are ACTUALLY tied.  Rob is 3 tiny points behind. We've got Linda, Jessica and Joann in the 400s, Tricia, Stacy, Marie, and Sue E are close behind in the 300s. Basically EVERYONE is still in the hunt, because I'm doling out the extra credit with a shovel these days.  Scoring for the last two photos will be generous and bounteous because that is how we roll. 

A brief explanation for today's scoring (quantity and quality are self explanatory) voting and extra credit were awarded as follows: 
1. To show her TOTAL voting dominance, and the aberration that was the last round with Rob splitting the vote, Judy CRUSHED it in the voting portion for the Poodle Twins round.  For that she got 40 well deserved points, double the usual 20 allotted. And the undying admiration of politicians everywhere. I personally thank her and her posse for running the blog ticker up so high.  And Karla, we need to meet because I really should thank you in person and shake your hand for making this happen. 

2. John got 30 points for coming in second in the voting (nice try, Rob, but Judy cannot be stopped)

3. Linda picked up 20 big voting points and then everyone else who even got a sniff of a vote got 10 voting points--most of you should thank Linda for this because she is such a nice, kind competitor that she always votes for her peers. (this munificence has not gone unnoticed by the judges) 

4. FIVE HUNDRED extra credit points shook out like this: 
  • 200 points for Jan because she had the sense to do a bit of self editing, admitted she had nothing and then totally confessed on herself. For some reason, I loved everything about the whole comment…(probably because I could totally hear myself saying/doing the exact same thing) including the part about poodles in pussy hats…still makes me laugh. 
  • 100 points for Kiki because I have a crush on her dad and because her caption was terrific
  • 100 points for Marie because she keeps us all honest and has some real high quality material.
  • 60 points for Tricia because I loved the "b*tches" captions
  • 40 points for Rob because he has a poodle/fancy dog and was willing to admit it. 
So, the tension builds. We have two more scoring rounds. Now is not the time to let your guard down. The LENTERTAINMENT grand finale is just four short days away.  Press on, Dear Readers, press on. 

Names             Total        Quantity           Quality           Voting               EC            Total
Judy 513 20 10 40 583
john 523 20 10 30 583
Joann 421 1 10 10 442
Linda 433 17 10 20 480
Rob 500 20 10 10 40 580
Jessica 406 3 10 10 429
Stacy 326 1 10 10 347
Sue R. 160 160
Brian K 50 50
Sue E 372 1 373
Michelle 106 4 110
Nate 105 105
Chris 99 99
Mr. DelFava 122 122
Joe Laken 2 2
Kim W. 2 2
Tricia 284 3 10 10 60 367
Kim P. 2 2
Ginny 58 58
Becky 114 114
Brifry 51 51
Kiki 173 1 10 10 100 294
Marie 243 4 10 10 100 367
Jan 72 10 200 282

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

SCORING UPDATES--extra credit galore

I finally got a chance to review all the votes for the "Excited Bikers".  Holy Viagra--I'm exhausted from trying to score it all.  I have to keep recounting because I lose my place and my eyes are twitching from staring at the screen. I commend John VERY much for getting out the vote for his special friend Rob.  Not only did you give Judy and Co. a real live run for their money, but you have proven yourself to be a true and self less friend.  The bonds that are formed via the blog are bonds that last--and I must admit, I LOVE seeing our blogging community come together over Lentertainment and more.  And to show that the love is shared by all, here is a fabulous photo of two of the caption masters, Rob and Judy:


Isn't it nice that all of our Lentertainment contenders are so photogenic? No captions needed here, Thank God.   And I do think that the Tory Burch tote would nicely compliment Judy's lovely dress. (and Rob's tie?).

The "Excited Bikers" cartoon was a classic and garnered some terrific captions. I did NOT notice the wardrobe malfunction, possibly because I cannot imagine anyone getting so excited over a bike…even a bike in heaven, but obviously all you hawk eyes saw a little more…(thanks, Stacy, Rob, Tricia and Jessica…I guess…because now all the rest of us will be joining you in Hell.  Because as Stacy articulated so well, once you've seen the "crotchular" wrinkle, you really cannot unsee it.--Extra credit has been duly awarded for the new and utterly awesome word "crotchular".  I will be using that one often. ) Below is the scoring chart for the Angels.

Allow me to explain a bit:
1. I awarded both Rob and Judy the full 20 points for the voting because they both had a shit ton of votes and I cannot attest to the accuracy of my counts because I was distracted as I was trying to count the votes while watching that "19 Kids and Counting, and was mesmerized by that one Duggar girl saying she was in love with some boyfriend she has never met. Further distracting me was Dave McKeon saying stuff like: "Who are these people?" "What the hell does that Jim Bob do for a job?""Are you watching this???" "Are they Amish with better hair?" " How can they afford to go to Nepal to visit some dude they've never met?" and "Oh, they home school. That's how they can afford stuff--no tuition"

2. Sue E got the voting 10 points and pretty much anyone else who got more than 3 votes got the 3rd place 5 points

3. FIVE HUNDRED HUGE extra credit were awarded as follows (your welcome):

  • 100 to Stacy for "crotchular"--totally explains itself
  • 100 to Marie for the Mick Jagger caption--it was pretty great
  • 100 to Sue Enders because her "they get Segways in Heaven and unicycles in Hell" caption was AWESOME and because she looks like she's having a blast in Turkey
  • 50 to Joann for referencing Nietzsche--she always classes up the blog--and for that I am grateful.
  • 50 to Tricia for boldly getting the "crotchular spoke" out there. 
  • 50 to Linda for overall very high quality work "We don't have to lock our bikes.." "I've looked at clouds from both sides now…" She was at the top of her game and is rewarded for that. 
  • 30 to Jessica because we are going to lunch for sure and the "Stop stealing my look" comment really hit home with me.  Some day, I will share with you all a very long story about someone who kept stealing my look and just how freaked out I was by it…
  • 20 very important points to John for acting in the true spirit of St. Francis and Lentertainment by giving rather than receiving with his bromantic gesture on Rob's behalf. This selfless act has launched John into first place…for now. 



Names       Previous         quantity           quality            voting                EC             Total
Judy 463 20 10 20 513
john 458 20 20 5 20 523
Joann 356 5 10 50 421
Linda 350 13 20 50 433
Rob 440 20 20 20 500
Jessica 351 10 10 5 30 406
Stacy 210 1 10 5 100 326
Sue R. 160 160
Brian K 50 50
Sue E 250 2 10 10 100 372
Michelle 106 106
Nate 105 105
Chris 99 99
Mr. DelFava 122 122
Joe Laken 2 2
Kim W. 2 2
Tricia 221 3 10 50 284
Kim P. 2 2
Ginny 46 2 10 58
Becky 114 114
Brifry 51 51
Kiki 173 173
Marie 131 2 10 5 100 243
Jan 61 1 10 72


John, enjoy this view from the top for tonight.  I will score the "Poodle Love" tomorrow morning, along with posting the TOP TEN from "Toxic Waste". We shall see who sits upon the Lentertainment throne once the next round is scored.  It's still anyone's game, so stay alert and stay tuned. 

Monday, April 14, 2014

NEW PHOTO NEEDS YOUR CAPTIONS

As I fly out of my house to head to yet another meeting, I just want you all to know--you are always on my mind….you are always on my mind.  Thus, I'm posting our Monday night photo before I leave, as this meeting will have me tied up for hours…and hours...I'm still working on some scoring, and will have the scores for the last two photos up tomorrow.  At a cursory glance, I'm pretty sure Judy owns all the voting points.  She cannot be stopped, so really? You all should stop trying and hope to score in other ways--(hint, hint)--shoot for the extra credit--it's totally arbitrary and situational, so everyone still stands a chance to make it in the top three and earn some Lentertainment swag.

 We have TWO more photos to caption, so give it your all this week. Now is not the time to slack off. Now is the time to press forward and make Lentertainment happen. I'm feeling the Holy Week spirit, scoring in a very generous mood, trying to be a better person, hoping to bring this Lent and Lentertainment Season home with a bang. You keep up your end--caption like champions, hang in there, and I promise you all--good things are going to happen.

Tonight's photo is kind of random.  It contains no humans or animals. It's neither a drawing nor a cartoon--but it's pretty timely given THAT IT IS SNOWING RIGHT NOW--ON APRIL 14TH AND THE FREAKING SNOW IS ACTUALLY STICKING IN MY FRONT YARD!!! (wtf???) Yes, it's a picture of a big, ugly, toxic pot hole. I'm pretty sure that even you all cannot find something lascivious about this photo. …or maybe not, as I have been surprised before….I'm trying to keep it clean for the Holiest week of the year, as I've got enough to worry about without fearing the eternal flames of hell because I've posted questionable photos on this here blog.  Good luck with this one--we're upping the degree of difficulty because, well, that's just how LENTERTAINMENT rolls.


Captioning stops at 7pm tomorrow--Tuesday--One, two, three, LENTERTAIN ME, please.


ps--I heard there from good authority that there were many Lentertainment participants and fans in the same local on Saturday night.  I also heard that the consensus was we need a Lentertainment bash to spread good cheer and fellowship.  Hey, I'm a big fan of all things fun, so we will make sure we make that happen.  Stay tuned and stay Lentertained.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

LATE BUT TRULY GREAT TOP TEN!--exercise your right to vote.

I apologize for not getting the Top Ten up sooner.  It's been a hectic week, and then we decided kind of on the spur of the moment to head to Notre Dame for the Blue-Gold Spring Game.  We put together a hasty tailgate and spent the day rooting on the Irish and the Irish.  It was very much fun, but did not leave me much time to choose the Top Ten from the last great crop of captions. Although I am a bit troubled, but not really surprised, by how quickly this contest devolves…(I had not anticipated quite so many  "romantic" references between man and poodle. I blame myself)

As I said, we kind of decided last minute to attend the Spring Game.  We haven't been in several years, mostly because Spring tennis season interfered, and Spring weather is so dicey…but the weather forecast was beautiful, and the college shids were up for it, so we made a last minute call to the South Bend KFC  (300 chicken strips along with the world's most random sides, and a crap ton of gravy ??!), stocked up on the Long Island supplies  (25 gallons were consumed in less than 2 hrs--new record I am afraid),  baked (with Posey's help) a bunch of cookies and cupcakes, loaded the car and took off at 6am.  We were set up before 10am EST, and once old Christopher arrived with the chicken, the party really started.  Interestingly, there were not too many tailgates going on in the Joyce lot yesterday. There were a few amateurs trying to make things happen, but not much of a crowd….except surrounding our  vehicle.  The game was at 12:30pm and we ran out of every thing, which makes clean up so much easier.  Here are a few photo highlights:










And this guy-- who sat a few rows ahead of us…I took this picture and sent it to all of my kids with the caption: "Make good decisions"… But, I'm not going to lie.  I admire his commitment as a fan.



OK, now that you've seen the reason why this TOP TEN is so late, I will continue with the Lentertainment…though Mr. ND Tattoo is pretty Lentertaining himself.

I really liked the poodle photo, and the resigned look on that guy's face.  I truly did not think they were on a date… most of you begged to differ.  As a little reminder, here is the priceless poodle twin photo:



There were many, many hilarious captions. I've narrowed them down to TEN, but I have to say, my favorite comment of all was from Jan:

"I just censored myself. I have nothing."
ReplyDelete
Replies
  1. …but it rhymed with poodles in pussy hats.
    Delete
 For some reason, this whole little stream just cracked me up.  Pure  Lentertainment. 

Menage a paw                     Joann

Cock and poodle deux!              Kiki

Party's over b*tches - get home.             Tricia

This is what the Common Core did to Dante's "Inferno"                Marie
(Editor's Note: I really love this one) 

Please change everything about me!               Jessica
(Editor's note: This really doesn't even have anything to do with the photo, but it makes me laugh. I fear Jessica and I think way too much alike) 

"This office party was wild. I don't remember a thing. Gigi, did I hump the Boss' leg?"      Judy
(very, very funny) 

"He is so getting road mapped when he falls asleep!"                    Linda

First dates are awkward enough, it didn't help her mom tagged along.    Rob

You know, 46 years ago I would have insisted we get German Shepherd puppies.            Stacy

The double dog dare was a bit out of his comfort zone.                         John

OK, because of the slight delay, we are a bit behind…Voting will close at noon tomorrow--that would be noon on Monday. I will score the "Biking Angels" tonight, and post up the score chart. You will vote incessantly for the next 22 hours…(this blog is closing in on 80,000 hits, and I really want to make that happen before Easter). Then tomorrow night, I will post up another photo, and we will rinse, wash and repeat one more time.  We are getting to the end of Lentertainment--only two more photos to go.  Thanks for the crazy laughs and keep it up for one more week. Soon we will separate the contenders from the pretenders.  Let's bring it home strong.  Massive voting begins…NOW…Lentertainment 2014--rock the vote. 

Thursday, April 10, 2014

PHOTO 11?? I've lost track, but it's a good one.

Holy Lentertainment! We've got ourselves a bushel full of votes today (815 comments on that last post and climbing) --I can't even begin to count them, so I won't... until tomorrow. And who are we all kidding? It's all about the captions. That's where the real comedy gold is mined.

 We are heading into the home stretch of Lentertainment, and we've pretty much hit all the major categories of weirdo photos: bad portrayals of the Beverly Hillbillies, old lady with gun, ugly kid drawing, fat guys, scary couple, bad parking, drunk Irish folks, New Yorker rip offs..--the usuals. But, I've noticed that we haven't had any true animal photos--unless you count that fish/guy in a bag, from the "Merry Christmas, Bedford Falls" drawing--and really, I don't (because it's a kid in a bag, held by a guy in a cape--How can you even think that's a fish??) . So, tonight, this one is for all you animal lovers. As you may know, there are many side splitting hilarious photos of animals doing odd things on the line…but, some of them are just messed up, and I  don't want to endorse a photo that looks like any animal, no matter how stupid or ugly, was harmed in any  way.  And because I sure don't need PETA breathing down my neck, or throwing paint on my full length mink coat, I wisely turned my back on the   several (thousand--it's true--look them up)  pictures of  monkey's smoking cigars, swigging booze and playing poker (though I'm not going to lie, they do kind of make me laugh). Instead, I  focused on some real old fashioned animal pictorial humor--Poodles in Party Hats--you can't go wrong with that EVER.

I know, It's a beauty. I'm excited to the captions we can generate for this photo. There's a lot going on, and I'm sure Rob and Stacy will be able to see the finer points of this photo, but I do think there are two things we can all agree on here: --1. no dog is getting hurt, and 2.  this is legit Lentertainment.



Let's get the captions rolling.  These dogs aren't going to wait all day.  They've got some big plans and they won't get off their color coordinate pink plush sofa until you hit them up with…. some captions.  (you thought I was going to say hit them with a rolled up newspaper or something, didn't you? …I did not and do not endorse hitting animals--children you can hit, as long as it's with a big fish or big bag'o'kid)  Remember, no animals were harmed in the posting of this photo.  That sad sack guy may be harmed, but those two dogs are a-okay.  And I love the doggy irony with the Hello Kitty party hats. These two poodles have got it going on.  Give them the captions they deserve and give us all some Lentertainment.  

You have until 10pm tomorrow (Friday, April 11) to get your captions posted. In the mean time, I will score the "excited angels" and update the chart.  So, so much to look forward to. I can't wait!