Smile...No, really smile.

Sorry for the two week post delay-- my life is an odd combination of super busy, followed by long bouts of catch-up laziness, to keep me in balance.  Blogging comes right in the sweet spot between busy and lazy, and it's been hard to find that transcendental state of being. Today is a lucky day for all of us, I guess.

 Pete's school pictures were delivered a few days ago and once again, we have a keeper. I know.  It's not a very good picture...and I couldn't be more pleased.

Every year, since they've been in high school, my sons have tried to take the ugliest school photo possible.  I'm not exactly sure why, but I like it.  I like that they really don't care very much about how they look. I like that they think it's funny to have the ugliest picture in the year book, and I like that this is their own tiny piece of subversiveness.  But mostly I like it because their ugly school photos make me laugh. And while taking an ugly photo may seem like a piece of cake , it's harder than it looks,.especially with today's technology, particularly in the individual shots. Today's photographers can instantly see what they've taken, and will keep taking photo after photo until they get a normal shot.  Just ask Pete this year, trying to pull off the little gem featured above. I guess, the photographer kept saying: "Smile" and Pete would say: "I am. This is my smile" And the lady kept saying: "I'm going to get fired if my company sees this. They will think I'm a bad photographer. " However, Pete was resolute, and we have this lovely, photographic keepsake to commemorate his senior year of high school.  One year, Chris tried to sneak a big, pink hair bow on his head at the last hot second before the shutter flashed, but he couldn't pull it off. And got duly chastised by both the photographer and school personnel. It takes some real skill to consistently take an ugly picture.  Many have tried (just ask Nate's friends) but few have succeeded.


 Nate is the master. He can pull a face so quickly that no one realizes it until the yearbook is published.  Here's a typical Nate group shot.

There are about twenty photos just like this in the school year book. One of Nate's best is the photo of him with a group of kids and the Archbishop of Milwaukee.  While all the other kids had the  appropriate looks of enthusiastic reverence, Nate had a face even uglier than the one in this soccer photo.  I wish I could find the picture, but I can't.  So, instead, here is Nate's last year's school picture.

 See, he has a subtle, photographic restraint that leads to his success in nailing the ugly photo. Unlike Chris with the bow, Nate wasn't over reaching, and if you didn't know better, you  may just think that the photographer caught Nate at a bad moment. And obviously, that's what the photographer here must have thought. It's a bit of a gift, isn't it? Nicely played.








Some of this is my fault. (of course it is...) When the boys were in preschool together, one year, they took the three ugliest school photos in the history of preschool photos.  Check out these beauties: (and doesn't Jack have an uncanny resemblance to Moe from the Three Stooges?)

When our pre school teacher saw these she quickly apologized and started to sign the boys up for retake day, incredulous and a bit embarrassed that all THREE boys could take such bad photos.  I would have none of it. Are you kidding??  I LOVE these photos--Chris, the drunken frat boy, Jack, scared straight, and Nate Pig Face Draper. (These photos are also freakishly prophetic....not that Nate has a pig face, but he certainly had an unusually large head for several years: see below) Man, you could try all year to get a trifecta of bad photos like these, and still come up short. Jackpot! These are priceless and I kept these three photos stuck to my mirrors for years.  They still make me laugh.


(Very, very long aside--) That I enjoy these unflattering photos should not be the least bit surprising. I have a horrible habit of finding great hilarity at the most inappropriate times and situations. (Remember, I put a photo of myself with a big, black eye on the Facebook)  My mom was in the hospital last week. (Not a huge deal, it happens with some regularity) Any how, she had a bit of pneumonia, and as a result of the infection, she was quite disoriented.  And delusional. And kind of seeing things.  And hysterically funny. So, when I went to spend some time with her in the hospital, rather than showing the appropriate daughterly compassion, I was cracking up and texting her awesome conversations to my sisters. Here are a few samples:

Mom: (after returning from a getting a chest -x-ray): "They should really say something to the x-ray tech I had".
Me: "Why?"
Mom: "Well, she was a lovely girl, but her nose hair was growing so fast that it was wrapped up around her head. Do you think I'm seeing things?"
Me: "Yes, yes I do think you are seeing things, but I know you will get over it. Remember those animals you saw jumping on your bed? You knew those weren't real. I think this may be the same thing."
Mom: "You think? It seemed so real. Speaking of hair, why do you have all that kinky hair on the side of your head?"
Me: "I don't, Mom. Remember, you've been seeing things lately."
Mom: "You know you can't pull off a perm..., especially only on half of your head"
Me: "Mom, I don't have a perm"
Mom: " OK, if you say so, but someone messed up your hair..."

It was fascinating, because she was super cogent about a lot of things, but then just flat out nuts in other ways...very, very fun for me. (kind of like the ugly photos...)
Mom: "How is Annie?"
Me: "Fine"
Mom: "Is she still dating that nice boy? What's his name again?"
Me:  "Yes. Andrew"
Mom: "Doesn't he have a brother?"
Me: "Why, yes, yes he does"
Mom: "What is his brother's name?"
Me: "Matthew"
Mom: "Pepe??!"
Me: "No, Mom, Matthew"
Mom: "Pepe?? They have one son named Andrew and another named Pepe??!!"
Me: "No, Mom, his name is Matthew"
Mom: "And he's a half-wit??!!"
Me: Trying to say "NO", but laughing so hard I'm kind of choking...

Pepe the half wit is now my favorite "pet name" for Pete McKeon.  And, even a few days later, my mom swears that I told her that Andrew's brother's name was Pepe....And she still thinks she was in the maternity ward, too...(don't think that little delusion didn't give me hours of enjoyment....) Ok, I know, I know--I'm not the best daughter, but at least I was there. And I really do hope that my kids have hours of amusement when I'm the one seeing fast growing nose hair.

OK, back to the ugly photos: As promised, here's a little photo of Nate during the Big Head Era--so, really, it's not the least bit surprising that a kid who had a head this big from 4th to 8th grade, and no way to hide it in a picture, has no problem pulling an ugly face in a photo.  Seriously, Nate's head is at least twice the size of Chris'.  And a kid with a dome that size really can't take himself too seriously.  And good to know that he doesn't.  Honestly, where did all that head go? How does a head shrink that much?  Medical mystery for sure.

 Here is a photo of Pete doing the DeNiro.  This phase went on for a little while, until Pete realized that he wasn't really messing up the photos, because I LOVE the DeNiro.  It's way more fun to screw up a school photo taken by a professional, I guess.

My favorite ugly photos, though, are the ones of the boys together.  It warms my heart to see them acting in concert to pull off a fraternal picture for the ages.  Here are a few of these brotherly shots, just to close it out with a bang.  You're welcome.

This one of Pete and Nate was for one of those individual photo shoots that they try to sell you on Team picture day, when they take a picture of a school sports team and then have your kid pose individually (usually with a ball or bat or racquet) to try and get you to buy more photos.  I think this picture is the only one I ever bought. I guess Pete did this move just as the guy was taking the picture.  And obviously, Nate couldn't keep a straight face.  Classic.

As the holiday season approaches, I am just a little leery about our Christmas card photo.  Be forewarned. Pepe the half wit will live again.

Today's Top Ten:

1. The Lost Souls Collection--a terrific art exhibit of some great pieces by my  brother in law Tom McKeon.  There was also a really well done write up in the Sun Times on Friday. Here's the online version.  Check it out.   http://www.suntimes.com/entertainment/23730797-421/digital-artist-tom-mckeon-hears-what-he-paints.html

2. The Gold Finch by Donna Tartt

3. Panta Claus--the coolest seasonal pants from Bonobos.  I may or may not have ordered a few pairs of these. http://www.bonobos.com/red-and-green-holiday-pant-for-men

4. Hallmark Channels' Count Down to Christmas--this may have to be it's own post. I'm not kidding. I am addicted and you will be too once you've seen "Snow Bride" and "Christmas Ornament". And the hits just keep coming.  You can watch Christmas movies around the clock.  Just ask Pepe, who was pretty darn engrossed in Snow Bride himself.

5. Judd Nelson--who appears in more than one Holiday Classic on the Hallmark Channel.  He has certainly grown up since the Breakfast Club. And he and Lauren Holly are pure holiday gold together in "Santa Jr. " Watch it for yourself.

6. The mixed seafood grill at Peter Miller's Seafood and Steak House in Evanston.  It was very, very delicious. And healthy--ish. (for me)

7. Alice McDermott--yeah, yeah. I'm probably coming late to this party, too, but she's a great author that I have been slightly obsessed with this fall. Maybe it's the Catholic thing, maybe the Irish thing, but she is imminently readable.

8. The Hickey Freeman tweed overcoat on Gilt.com.  At $399 it's a total steal and they only have one left. It's an XL and back in the day, would have been the perfect Christmas gift for Dave but, now since  it will never fit skinny Dave, someone else needs to pick this baby up--Merry Christmas!

9. Outshine Fruit bars--especially the mixed berry flavor.  These low calorie, no sugar frozen pops put the old popsicles to shame.

10.  Pepe the half wit--just typing that makes me laugh.  Hours of fun with this.  Thanks, Mom.

Enjoy your week--Let's make it a good one.

Tantrum in aisle nine...

Did any one even  notice that my last post was the 100th post on this blog???  Me neither!   ONE HUNDRED POSTS?? Are you kidding me? If that's not a book dying to be compiled, I don't know what is...And I am dangerously close to 50,000 hits.  This blog just keeps getting better and better...(for me) 

Today's topic--Advertising--particularly advertising involving children. (spoiler alert: I don't love it) 

Who in the world is making all these commercials lately full of awful, obnoxious kids? I am genuinely curious, because I really want to know what type of high level, Madison Avenue, run-it-up-the- flag-pole research went into deciding that I (or any rational grown up with a check book, for that matter) would ever base any consumer decision about anything on a single word, action, comment or demand of a sassy, back talking, obnoxious seven year old. (especially one not related to me) Really. I won't even buy shit my own kids want, let alone listen to some other bratty ass, spoiled little egotist pitching a fit or making a threat to hawk a product. Have these people never met kids? or better yet, parents?  Who is making the decision to appeal to consumers with this format? Please, any of you in advertising with an insider's knowledge, please weigh in.  

I know who is paying for them (actually I don't know, because I had to look up which cell phone company is running those "it's not complicated" adds with that weirdo kiddie focus group forum thing--and it's AT&T--thank God it's not Verizon or I'd have to switch cell phone service because I hate those commercials so much) but what advertising genius is crafting these duds? Who actually thought that a nebbishy Matthew Broderick looking guy  (I guess the dude's name is Beck Bennett--and he's on Saturday Night Live now--good luck with that) sitting at a tiny table in a children's library (??) or wherever the hell they are, asking a group of ethnically diverse kids some bogus questions ("what's better fast or slow/ more or less"?...) to which the kids supply canned, contrived answers would sell cell phones??  And for me, 'it's not that complicated'...these are the most irritating commercials on television right now.  I can't stand any one of those kids--not the werewolf girl, not that stupid disco kid, not the taping the cheetah to his grandma's back kid, not the infinity times infinity one (and if you look closely at that little gem, the kid next to the know-it all-girl is totally mouthing her lines...so much for the whole ad libbing thing) I sincerely hope that whoever dreamed up these spots was fired. (Interesting, there are several positive comments about these spots on the inter web. WTF??  I assume these positive comments are from the parents of these children and/or Mrs. Bennett)  No one should be asking these kids such stupid questions anyway. Frankly, no strange grown-ups should be asking kids anything. They are kids.  Their opinions are not really that interesting to me and have absolutely no bearing whatsoever on my purchasing decisions. And please, like we need anyone encouraging kids to be any more sassy, full of themselves, self involved or disrespectful.  Every kid in America acts like they are auditioning for a sit com or competing for the role of the mouthy younger sibling on every show on the Disney Channel.  I cannot fathom why any one, particularly an advertising expert, would think this makes for good advertising? It only makes me cringe. 

And these smug AT&T kids look like they're Amish compared to the kids in those Kraft macaroni and cheese ads--the boy who steals all the pots and pans so his parents can't eat macaroni and cheese while he's at a sleepover. And his evil cohort who calls out his mom during her Book Club for eating HIS mac and cheese. Are you kidding me? Buddy, it's not your macaroni and cheese unless you've shelled out the cash to pay for it, and even then, your parents can eat whatever the hell they want in their own house, without your nine year old approval, because guess what?? They're grown-ups.  That goes for you, too, Timmy--DO NOT  lecture your mother AND a room full of her friends because they betrayed you by eating YOUR (!?) macaroni and cheese during their Book Club (And a little aside to the TV mom--Really?? You're serving Kraft macaroni and cheese at your Book Club? What the hell sort of book club are you in? Unless you are making "theme" food for the Grapes of Wrath , step it up a notch, Sister.  Get some baked brie, a little crostini or something decent.  C'mon! Everyone knows that  only a third of the group has actually read the book, the other two thirds are coming for the food, adult beverages and a chance to escape their own sassy kids...so next time, put a little effort into the edibles... and  please keep your snotty ass kid upstairs).  If Timmy lived in my house, here is what he would hear: Hey, Timmy, guess what? Your happy ass should be in bed, Remember, you are only allowed to get out of bed if you are on fire or your brother is on fire.  Not only will you NEVER get a whiff of Kraft macaroni and cheese again, you will not be leaving your room for a good long time, as you will be quite busy writing every one of these book club attendees an apology letter, especially the one you had the audacity to not only address by her first name ("Not now, Doris"), but who you cheekily dismissed when she asked you a direct question. Timmy, I hate to break the news to you, but some one has to--you are a child.  You do what adults tell you and you get what adults give you.  In the  infamous words of Judge Smails "You will get nothing and like it..." 

And don't even get me started on the ridiculous kid who threatens to throw "a tantrum in aisle nine" because his mom is buying so many things at the Jewel/Osco sale that he can't fit his lazy little ass in the cart. First of all, this kid looks like he's about ten years old.  He has no business sitting in any cart.   For the love of God, his damn feet will be dragging on the ground.  This little snot should be pushing the cart, unloading the cart, bagging the groceries, carrying them all to the car and cooking a four course meal once the groceries get inside.  (Little aside: Back when Nate was about two years old and legitimately riding in the grocery cart, he some how lost one of his shoes.  He was wearing some beautiful tiny blue suede clogs with a little red strap from Garnet Hill. One must have fallen off while his feet were dangling in the cart and he never said a word.  I didn't notice until we were well into the frozen food section that his shoe was missing, and despite retracing our steps, I never found that shoe. Nate left the grocery hopping on his one shod foot. How the hell do you lose a shoe at the grocery?? It still pisses me off... I loved those shoes.)  But back to that nasty, tantrum threatening kid...thanks to him, I can't shop at Jewel/Osco anymore...

Do people really think this stuff is funny?? Who are these kids and why in heaven's name do their commercial parents let them talk to them like that? And more to the point, why do ad execs and companies think that these outspoken, obnoxious kids will move product?? I swear that I will not buy another box of Kraft macaroni and cheese until Timmy is off the air or permanently grounded.   (Pete "the anti-Atkins" McKeon is very upset by my Mac and cheese boycott, but I am taking a moral stand here. Until Kraft shows some well groomed, well manner children acting grateful for their mac and cheese, the only blue boxes coming into my house are from Tiffany.) 

I get it, these are only ads, but they are very disturbing ads to me.  Do we really live in a world ruled by these little pre-pubescent tyrants? Do these ads reflect mainstream America, where parents live in such fear of a tantrum throwing child that they will alter their behavior? Am I the only one repelled by these outlandishly, smug overly entitled children? Finally, I think the most egregious point of all is that a large segment of the advertising world believes that this snotty kid behavior is not only acceptable, but funny, endearing AND persuasive to consumers.  (I seriously cannot hear "queen my dishes, please" one more time.)  I know that I can be a total "Hey, kids, get off my lawn" octogenarian, and that I have an extremely low threshold for bad kid behavior (see Bad kid article from my glory days at the Kenosha News reprinted in this blog a few years ago at:  http://youcantscaremeihavekids.blogspot.com/2011/02/in-defense-of-tiger-mom.html), but this goes a little deeper than that.  I feel like these ad spots not only confirm that society's has embraced smug, bratty children, but that these behaviors are actually desirable, or influential in the market place.  And that kind of scares me.  The rest of the world can get bossed around by these little hooligans, but I'm not.  I am an actual adult and expect Madison Avenue to appeal to  me as such--bring on Will Farrel and his Dodge Durango commercials--  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2pZ1eGNeAI  Take that, Timmy.  

Today's Top Ten: 

1. Pope Francis--He just keeps getting better and better. 

2. Nashville--I love this show, and was promised the soundtrack from someone for my birthday...I'm still waiting.

3. La Dolce Vita--  the new Slim Aaron book. It's just as beautiful as his other books. Thanks, Jane!

4. Angel Food Cake--Kristi Ambro made the most delicious one and I ate about half last night.  Totally worth it, and isn't is supposed to be the "healthy cake?" 

5. Will Ferrel--he is SUCH a better pitchman than that Bennett guy

6. PURE Cashmere--I may have listed them before, but their stuff is beautiful.  Their sweaters are like butter.  Be careful, though. If you order too much you may have to pay duty on it as it comes from England. It has happened before....

7. The Corduroy chubbies--I'm not always a Chubbies fan, but the Fall corduroy ones are pretty slick. 

If you are not familiar with these so called Chubbies, check them out at : chubbiesshorts.com  Chris McKeon is the Chubbies ambassador at Notre Dame.  Skies out, thighs out.  We're so proud. 

8. The Boston Red Sox--nice job. Worst to first.  Poor Bobby Valentine...

9. Black turtlenecks--you can never go wrong with a few (hundred) of these

10. Birthday wishes.  Thanks to all for remembering my special day.  "Birthday cake is just about the happiest outcome flour can hope for"...words to live by. Found on a delightful card that my sister gave me for my Birthday.  Keeps making me laugh.  

  

Happy Halloween, Witches.  Enjoy your day. 

THE PSYCHIC WAS RIGHT

 Shut down's over.  Back to business as usual.  Here's the latest:

When you (and by you, I mean me) have too many questions and not enough answers, you (I)will, out of total desperation, absolutely listen to (and believe) any random stranger who has even the most tangential, obscure, outlandish advice.  During the course of our ordeal with Nate, I put huge stock in any medical anecdote with a happy ending. (I also trolled the internet hourly for any even semi-related medical symptoms, searching for clues or answers to what ailed Nate--but instead of answers, I just scared the ever living crap out of myself,  and eventually--at the request of one of Nate's doctors-- I just had to just stop)..

Over orientation weekend at Notre Dame, a time when Nate could barely walk and had trouble moving his head, I met a lovely woman from Connecticut at a dinner at Howard Hall (Little aside—Annie is the Assistant Rector of Howard Hall. It’s a great gig--free room and board, a bit of a salary and all the goofy, undergrad hi-jinks she could ever want.  Nate was too sick to do any of the manly things that his dorm was doing, --like move his arms and legs--so Annie graciously included us in many of her dorms' frosho activities) This woman had a son who had Lyme's disease several years before,  and, of course, Connecticut IS the birthplace of Lyme's disease, AND her son was treated at Yale, so to me, she was an absolute font of infectious disease wisdom. a veritable expert.  Dr. Quinn Connecticut woman not only described her experience with her son, but she also told a story about an eleven year old  girl she met in the airport who had undiagnosed Lyme’s disease for four years, with her only symptoms being crazy behavior and outrageous swearing  (shit…maybe I have Lyme’s disease…) And for some reason, this convinced me that Nate could easily have Lyme's disease. Not because he was swearing or acting crazy, but because he had a mysterious illness that defied diagnosis--so, the more bizarre someone else's symptoms, stories, ailments were, the more pertinent they seemed to be to me. I know...Seriously?  I am believing a woman I don’t know, who is telling me a story about a girl she doesn’t know, about a disease I don’t even know if my kid has, with symptoms he totally does NOT have and I am eating it up with a spoon. Somehow, her stories validated or verified that Nate indeed has an infectious disease.  Delusionally crazy on my part. Hey, I'm not saying it makes sense,  I'm just telling the facts.  And this, my friends, is the point of this whole post.  We (okay, maybe just me) will believe anything and anyone if it confirms, reaffirms or even gives a glimmer of explanation for something we have no answer for...

Back during the worst of Nate's days, my dearest friend Nancy, who has known and loved Nate since the day he was born, called me and said she had a friend who was a Reiki specialist, a medical professional and a bit of a psychic.  She asked if she could bring Nate’s mystery illness to her friend. I said—sure. I would chew on crystals with a big old stick of lit incense stuck in my ear, while projecting and protecting my aura if I thought it could make Nate feel better.  And honestly, traditional medicine wasn't really giving us much relief, so bring it on. Nancy took a photo of Nate to the psychic/doctor along with a few other momentos of him, and put me on speaker phone while she asked questions and did a reading of sorts.  The specialist didn't say anything any weirder than the other medical professionals we'd seen, she asked some very good questions, gave some insights, but the one thing that really stood out was that she was emphatic that Nate would be much better in two months. She wasn't exactly sure what was wrong with him (she was in real good company there) but she was very sure that he would be feeling much better in two months.  Well guess what?? The psychic was right.

A few weeks ago, approximately two months after the psychic did her reading of Nate, he started feeling better. After kind of plateauing at about 65% for three weeks, Nate began relapsing toward the end of September. He was managing pretty well during the day, but by night time, he just couldn't move.  He kept getting stuck places--He'd head to the library in the early evening, but by night time, he couldn't get back to his dorm. And he was in so much pain at night he couldn't sleep. His siblings and cousins at Notre Dame were really worried. Even Nate finally admitted that he wasn't getting any better.  Without any other solutions in sight, I made an appointment at the Mayo Clinic for Oct. 22. And, because we had no answers, our prayers increased. People began a novena on his behalf. Nate met and was blessed by Fr. Ted Hesburgh on September 29. (Thanks, JR for setting that up) AND his good friend Jeff Collins offered up massive prayers for Nate at St Peter's Cathedral in Vatican City. (and the doctor put him on a new drug methotrexate--but that drug takes three weeks to kick in). And freakishly, wonderfully, Nate started feeling remarkably better.  He could sleep. He could move. His sed rate and CRP were almost back to normal. The scooter was kicked to the curb, medically unnecessary, but real fun for a scoot around campus before studying.

I don't know why Nate feels better. Maybe it's the steroids he's still taking. Maybe the methotrexate kicked in immediately. Maybe whatever the hell that was making him sick has started to run its course. Maybe he started feeling better because I made an appointment at Mayo, just like how my car always stops making that funny noise as soon as I take it into the shop. Maybe it's a bit of a miracle. I don't know. And really, neither does anyone else--I canceled Nate's appointment at Mayo.--I know. I'm kind of kicking myself over it, but because he seemed so much better, I kind of didn't want to make the trip for nothing--. He saw a rheumatologist this week. He needs to start weaning off of the steroids and is at about 85%. He's not in perfect shape by any means, but he's cleaning the kitchen right now, so that's a real big step in the right direction.

 In real life, I am an enormous skeptic. I don’t believe in much of anything. (except for the motivating power of guilt, stress and sugar) I don't believe in ghosts or magic or or fate or even serendipity. I never believed in Santa Claus (really?? some hairy old stranger is bringing me gifts?? yeah, right. My mom used to take me Christmas shopping with her while my siblings were at school.  I totally knew where that Betty Big Girl and the Chrissy Doll came from.  I sat right next to both of them in the cart that my mom pushed thru the toy department at Sears.) Hell, some days I barely believe in gravity.

But I do know this: people are incredibly kind: they give advice, solace and offer prayers, when you need it the most. they tell you stories that give you hope, they listen, they care and they feel for your kid like he is their own. Thanks for all of your prayers. Thanks for all of your help--the doctor referrals (we may still need them yet), the research, the advice and the kindness.   And even I have to admit it--the psychic was right. 


Today's Top Ten:

1. Jeff Collins--I am giving him top billing because I think his powerful prayers did the trick.

2. The Fancy sundae at the Spot--Have you had one of these? Top shelf--And anything with Fancy in its name always tastes better.

3. We Are Water--the new book by Wally Lamb (he wrote She's Come Undone)

4. The Spode Turkey platter. I love Thanksgiving and I love this platter.

5. The Men's 14-wale 5-pocket Corduroy Jeans from Land's End Canvas in fir.  They are on sale for $19.99. Bought four pairs of them.  Merry Christmas, McKeon Brothers. (the sail cloth chinos are pretty sweet, too--on sale for $23--it's a pants-a-palooza at my house right now) 

6. The French Ephemera Paper Tape from P.O.S.H--(actually just about anything from P.O.S.H--I love this story and the website.  Those Vintage Wool blankets are killer) see: http://poshchicago.com/collections/flea-market-finds/products/bulgarian-wool-blanket

7. "Last Tango in Halifax"--have you seen this show on PBS? Wendy told me about it and now I am totally addicted. It's a mighty fine place holder until Downton Abbey comes back on.

8. Harding and Wilson bow ties--These ties are amazing.  My wonderful friend Gina sent five of these ties to my boys (her daughter's fiancee started this company)  The Pendelton wool collection is just beautiful. It's not too early to stock up on these gems for the holidays.

9. Hesburgh Heroes--The shids raised $5,000 this past weekend at our tailgate for Andean Health by selling t-shirts and shaking down fans.  A terrifically generous friend matched their efforts. That's $10,000, which pays for an x-ray machine for the Hesburgh Hospital.  Nicely done.

10.  My Halloween Mantle (again)--I really love this mantle (it is slightly different from the last time I posted it) AND having this photo will act as my memory for next year when I try to recreate this masterpiece.

Shut down

Ok, I guess the blog is officially back...two posts in ten days. I'm on a roll.

Thanks for all of your prayers for Nate.  He needs them and accepts them gratefully.  Quick update: He is on a new drug, methotrexate that may help.  Fingers crossed.  And I am making an appointment at the Mayo Clinic for fall break.  Fingers double crossed.

New topic--so, the government has shut down.  What a coincidence! So have I.  I'm not making any political stand or statement, I'm just kind of tired and really want to spend some time reading my nook and eating some candy.  --And frankly, I'm pretty sure that's what Congress is doing right now, too, and I don't blame them.  Candy is pretty sweet.

Total ADD aside (you all really missed these brief interruptions, didn't you?) Speaking of candy, I have discovered a new candy company called sugarfina--(I'm sure all you west coast hipsters have been eating this candy for years...but here in the Midwest, this is breaking news, ok??) www.sugarfina.com  Sugarfina  is really, really, really good AND the boxes the candy comes in are beautiful--almost too beautiful to eat the candy, but not quite.  I managed to devour pretty much the entire summer sampler box in about an hour.  They also have cocktail candies (champagne gummi bears? yes, please) and a tasting menu--these little packages of candy heaven make the perfect gift (and somebody I know has a birthday coming up this month). Isn't it nice to know that even after having been out of commission for almost two years, I still have your backs in regard to up and coming food, clothing and house wares products? Why, yes, yes it is...

And I'm not kidding when I said that I've shut down.  (just for a day or two) I've had some seriously busy months--(Ecuador, Nate, some consulting gigs, ND home football games--ok, that doesn't sound that busy, but consider the source), and these back to back tailgates really take their toll. Sorry, another aside--Sweet Jesus, this ADD is annoying, isn't it? I can barely get a word in edgewise with my own self...Any how, we have had two of the most awesome tailgates these past two weekends.  The weather was perfect, the food was great and we have finally seemed to work the kinks out of the whole system. (It helps that Dave McKeon has cut way back on his long island consumption, especially with Jack McKeon in London for the semester--I can't get those flags down by myself) The Michigan State tailgate was the always popular Italian sausage, hot beef, meat ball bomber extravaganza, chased with McKeon cupcakes and 25 gallons of Long Island Iced Teas.  We were out of iced teas by 2pm  and there wasn't a morsel of meatball to be found by 2:30. While waiting for the reinforcements to arrive (thank you, Mike McTernan) We actually had to  borrow some beers from our elderly tailgating neighbors who were in equal parts fascinated and horrified by our tailgating extravaganza--there were a few dodgy selections on Chris McKeon's play list....however, when the super, super nice 75 year old wife brought me over a chocolate shot and the coolest homemade Notre Dame necklace, I knew we had won them over. We sealed the deal when we called her over to get her photo taken with some of the Notre Dame basketball team who attended our tailgate as well. Memories made--new tailgating besties. And speaking of besties (I honest to God must be the most easily distracted person alive...I also saw my old college roommate who I haven't seen in decades.  We both look the exact same, but way cuter--how nice is that? Seriously, these tailgates are a total happening.

Similarly (though Notre Dame lost) the Oklahoma tailgate was top shelf.  Not only was it fajita week, (possibly the second best week of the tailgate year, topped only by soup week) which was outstanding, but we had a cavalcade of stars stopping by.  Several of my lovely, youthful and very fun undergrad friends met up and joined the tailgate fun, and then the hits just kept on coming--people from our Ecuador trip, so, so fun and nice--Google John, Mark and Amy, Nancy, Dakota, JR, Sarah--people from Kenosha (admit it, we scared a few of you), people from Oklahoma, (cheers for the Goreson family and friends--and thanks for the cooler), people from Montana--Mariani Family, you are welcome back anytime.  I like your dance moves and thanks for the Jack,-- and many, many other students, friends, family, family friends, friends of friends, and friends of family...and I'm sure a few strangers, but that's fine, too (even you, big guy with the pony keg who was trying to claim the communal Joyce Lot garbage can as your own)  I tried to take some photos from the past two weeks, but somehow I just keep getting pictures of Chris, Kim and friends of Chris and Kim--wtf?

Here they are in all their tailgate glory:

   

So now that the tailgate fervor has died down,  I am furloughing my own self, and I am totally ok with it. Honestly, my shut down has nothing to do with the government--("Mom, tell the government to stop copying me. This shut down thing was my idea") . I've been easing toward a shut down for quite some time...However, unlike the federal government, no one is going without while I take a little time off. And because I see this blog as an essential service, I am keeping it going even during the shut down. You're welcome. For those of you who were paying close attention over the past few months, admit it--you saw this shut down coming. 

1. I am down to one and a half kids --(Pete is never home, as he is the lynch pin in the Andrea empire, and works there six days a week, mopping the floors, taking out the trash, emptying the grease traps--I'm pretty sure Steve Jobs started out  this way) which is a total micro family. I can manage that in my sleep--Shut down.    

2. I've outsourced all of our basic nutrition needs to Infusino's (official caterer of the McKeon tailgates--seriously, they have changed my life). Pete, Posey and I live on random unopened bags of left over tailgate snacks and Manorexic Dave just keeps shoveling in the protein--Shut down. 

3. Summer is over, it went too quickly so I am shutting down in protest. 

4. Notre Dame lost their first home game in over a year--Not shocking but still Shut down worthy. And they bitched up the whole singing the Alma Mater thing, so a total shut down. 

5.Notre Dame is heading to Dallas to get their asses kicked by ASU (who are we kidding? Tommy Rees is a place holder at best and a fumbling, interception throwing opportunist at worst).  Serious shut down. 

6. I finished a big project I was working on for a very nice, very savvy Catholic school on the north shore (I know, I don't know why they needed me, but I'm happy to work with them and send out an invoice) Lots of night hours, so I need to shut it down. 

7. I got in a rather heated "discussion" via text with Nate's rheumatologist--(you know she is so regretting giving me her cell phone number) not one of my best moments, but not one of her best either-she texted me first-so I guess it's a push. Needless to say, she was not the doctor of choice to call Mayo to confirm Nate's need for an appointment.  Time for me to shut it down. 

8. I ate an entire box of gluten free fake oreos--what the hell is that all about? There are real cookies out there to eat. I don't even like regular oreos--gluten free??  I need to so shut that shit down right  now. 

9. Our holding tank got clogged and started backing up into the downstairs showers...I am not kidding and this little episode will warrant its own post because it was very, very close to being a literal shit storm.  At one point I am hyperventilating in our basement while the crabby old plumber (the same one who had to fish that goddamn cell phone out of the toilet a few summers ago, so you kind of can't blame him for being less than enthusiastic about McKeon plumbing issues--kind of tough to live that one down) kept asking me what he was supposed to do with all the water that would come flooding into my basement if he had to open some big valve to fix the problem and I finally say hysterically in his face "I don't know!  I am not the plumber. You are. That is why I called you..." Serious need to shut every piece of that mess down. 

10. I let Pete take Chillen as his confirmation name--totally true. Pete got confirmed a few weeks ago and he chose the name "Chillen"  It's a real live saint.  Look it up--by googling "oddest confirmation names..." And I was totally fine with it. Even Chris was somewhat appalled at the name choice, actually calling me out saying: "You are seriously letting Pete take the name Chillen? You would never put up with that sort of nonsense back in the day."  To which I replied: "Yes and Yes".  The bishop also had a little something to say, asking in his special holy way: "Who/what the hell is Chillen?"--and Pete explained that Chillen was (supposedly) the only Irish priest who was offered the papacy which he turned down, citing his inadequacies...perfect pick, Pete. An underachieving Irish man...sign us up and shut us down. 

Here is a picture of young Chillen on his special day. FYI he is with my friend Brian, who kept trying to convince the Bishop that Pete's name was actually Killian, but Pete was having none of that, insisting he be called Chillen.  And for some reason, this kept making me laugh... a lot...So, yes, I guess it is time for me to shut down. 

You know the Bishop just wanted to hit Chillen with his big cane. So did I. I kind of want one of those big canes now. 

Despite being shut down, I still found time for today's Top Ten

1. sugarfina--like you didn't see that one coming

2. Empty Mansions--a terrific book about that recluse/copper heiress who died in 2011 at 105 and had all those houses she didn't live in.  I LOVE a good heiress/recluse/ hoarder/crazy rich person story--and this book is one of the best.  It's no Grey Gardens (the one with Big Edie and Little Edie,--the documentary from the '70s is so, so great) , but it's pretty damn good. 

3. Moxie--the word game that I play all day on my phone. I am addicted and I have all the high scores because I think I am the only person in the Western Hemisphere playing this game. 

4. Infusinos--I don't know how they do it, but they can actually make tailgate food cheaper than I can. (except for fajita week--Dave McKeon to me when 16 pans of fajita meat got dropped off last Friday, and he saw that the food cost more than his first car: "Did it ever cross your mind to ASK just how much this food was going to cost?" Me: "No") And they deliver. And they are super nice. And the food is really good. However, I think we will be back to meatball day real soon. 

5.Nick Offerman--I love him very much and if he ever dumps Megan Mullally, I am making a serious run at him (and he is from Minooka, IL, so you know he's good people--and he probably wouldn't flinch at the cost of fajita week--Hell, he'd probably make the fajitas on a grill he built himself). 

6. The black Burberry cape that I have pre-orderd for Posey's fall wardrobe.  I held off as long as I could, but man, it's a real nice cape. And it better show up soon as I am somewhat puzzled by the whole pre-order thing and fear that it is some how a cape bait and switch. 

7. Kim Pechous and John Heinzman--for always being so nice and understanding AND even more importantly, for commenting on the blog.  Please, let's not forget that while the Facebook comments are nice, commenting on the blog gets hits and will somehow translate into glory for me.  

8. Sparkling Ice--these are amazing, fizzy little drinks with zero calories and vitamins and antioxidants.  I am loving them, as I am trying (and failing miserably) to get the Diet Coke monkey off my back. I am up to about a dozen cans a day, and it's just not good. 

9. SaksFashion Fix--this is the best deal on the internet, bar none.  It's discounted designer stuff from Saks and sometimes the deals are mind-blowing.  There is a camel hair coat with a fur color in a size two just begging for some one to buy it. 

10. Joey Matteucci--The nicest, calmest, neatest, best plumber ever.  (In the midst of my plumbing crisis, the crabby one called Joe for back up) Joe saved me and all I hold dear, by actually climbing down into our holding tank and taking care of the problem.  I will spare you the details, but needless to say, Joey holds a very special place in my heart. 

Enjoy the blog--look for more to come. 

This may not be what you've been waiting for...

Yes, I realize it has been almost two years since I last posted.  I don't know what else to say, except...to those who may have missed my posts... sorry. And to those who enjoyed the lengthy break...you're welcome.

Last you all heard, I was in Haiti with my sons. Here is a photo of us with our Haitian friends.

Well, we made it home...so that's a good thing. Then I finished up my degree in August of 2012.

Then a whole bunch of other stuff happened that I can't remember. Then I decided to walk through the Notre Dame Commencement Ceremony (again) this May. Here is a photo of me with  my cool, young, hipster friends on graduation day. I am wearing the "Stole of Gratitude". It's a real thing--look it up. Frankly, Dave McKeon was so damn grateful to get me off the tuition plan that he should have been wearing a dozen of them:

Then a whole bunch of other stuff happened that I can't remember. Then we went to Ecuador this summer on the coolest of trips (our trip will be very special fodder for another blog on another day, but for all of you deadbeats who have not yet done it--donate to Andean Health right now, Ok? Here is the link: http://www.andeanhealth.org/take-action/donate/  I mean it. Donate now, please) And admit it, you are all super impressed at just how many links and photos I can now upload to this blog. I wasn't sleeping during my 20 month hiatus. I was upgrading my blogging skills...not really, I was sleeping)

Here is a picture of us in Ecuador. (I know you all probably saw this on the Facebook, but I still really like it, because it looks like we are fit and sporty--we are not fit and sporty):

Consider yourselves officially caught up.  And now for the meat of the blog--warning--it's not super funny or happy or joyful or short...(that really makes you want to keep reading now, doesn't it?) but because many of my most stalwart blog supporters may be able to relate to this topic or at least weigh in, I am posting this anyway.

For the past twenty three years, I have smugly, arrogantly and blithely taken my children's health for granted. Sure, they had the usual stuff, ear tubes, accidents (Annie got hit by a car in 7th grade--super scary--but quick recovery), tonsils, strep, Pete's broken "tape it to a buddy" finger,  etc.  What an unmitigated gift those years have been.  I mean this utterly and sincerely.  And I don't mean to be overly dramatic, or histrionic or anything else, as I fully recognize there are millions of families who have a WAY rougher go than we do, but dealing with an undiagnosed sick kid, even the world's least complaining, kind hearted, happy go lucky sick kid, is just all consuming. And it effects every part of your world.

For the past several weeks, we have been wholly, totally, to the exclusion of all other things, consumed with trying to diagnose and cure the crazy disease Nate developed while we were in Ecuador (I do not think this disease actually came from Ecuador, but that is when the symptoms started and no one can really pin point exactly what our boy has, so we can't rule Ecuador out either)

A not so quick synopsis: On the Thursday afternoon when we were in Ecuador, (July 25th to be exact) Nate told me he was having trouble raising his arms above his head--I teased him about having "John McCain disease" and told him to take some motrin and shake it off.  We had spent the day rafting for several hours to the Pacific Ocean, which truly was even cooler than it sounds--(and I swear to you--we were really freakishly good at the rafting thing, especially Annie McKeon. I know.  I was really surprised, too), so I thought that Nate's arm issue was just over exertion from the awesome paddling job he and Annie led in the prow of our raft.  For the next few days, Nate continued to have joint pain--ankles, knees, shoulders, etc, but he didn't complain at all (I got this info out of him much later, during one of our million trips to physicians when I was trying to align his symptoms to a time line). He was a total trooper (and a bit of an Aleve addict). For the first few days we were home, Nate seemed ok--stiff and sore, but could move around with the help of his good friend Aleve.  By Thursday of that week he could barely move, and at one point as he drove through McDonalds late at night, he could not reach up to get the food from the drive thru and the woman had to throw the food in his car--good thing he did not order a 49 cent cone (which are very tasty, by the way, and such a value).  He finally confessed to me how much pain he was in and how little mobility he had, so on Friday morning (early August) I took him to the pediatrician.  They ran some tests and his liver counts were super high but no one could tell us why or what exactly was wrong with him.   His joint pain kept getting worse and migrating from one joint to another, and several joints at a time (from "John McCain disease" to "FDR disease" and back).

Needless to say, I was not super interested in the whole "wait and see" approach, as I saw my incredibly active son deteriorating before my eyes.  And I knew that he was supposed to be heading off to college in a few weeks, and while I really enjoyed watching Movies on Demand with him every night on the family room sofa, we needed some answers. We went to Froedert the next week and saw the entire infectious disease team (who told me that I basically f'ed up everything I could possibly f up in Ecuador--"Really??  You drank the hot milk?? What were you thinking? You hiked in the jungle? You were in a river??" It just went on and on inferring that I might as well have injected my kid with a syringe full of Ecuadorean poison) .  However, nothing popped on the infectious disease tests and meanwhile, Nate could not open his jaw wide enough to eat a sandwich.  It was just painful to watch.  We bounced back and forth between rheumatology and infectious disease for about another ten days, watching Nate's sed rate and CRP rates climb (indicating inflammation in the body, but not telling us where and what) and getting lapped by all the old ladies leaving the hospital lab. And of course, looming ahead was the supposed start of his freshman year of college. We had less than a week to try to diagnose and cure whatever ailed the boy.

Of course, that did not happen.  We scrambled like crazy the week before Nate was to leave for ND and saw several doctors, all with a different idea on how to treat him.  We heard everything from rheumatic fever, to Lyme's disease, to Tick Borne relapsing fever, to reactive arthritis to rheumatoid arthritis to untreated strep to never to be known or diagnosed freaky ass virus....We decided on a bazooka approach of three heavy duty antibiotics with a steroid chaser and, then took off for Notre Dame.  Before we left, two doctors specifically told me not to send him, as they felt he was too sick.  But in all honesty, I really couldn't tell him after all the work he had done to get there, that he couldn't start his freshman year at Notre Dame and he was super determined to make it work.  (Dave McKeon was freaking out, not because he was afraid that Nate wouldn't make it, but because he was afraid that if he left after a few days, we would  not get our tuition money back)

Things did not go well.  Nate was getting sicker and we were not really prepared for the enormity of his lack of mobility on a college campus.  What seemed kind of manageable at home became really, really difficult when the bathroom was way down the hall and food services was in a totally separate building.  --not to mention classes all over a very large campus.  We had ordered him an electric scooter and warned his rector and academic advisor of his disability, but we were really unprepared. Remember, Nate could not lift his arms above his shoulders, move his hips to walk at a normal pace, or open his mouth wide enough to eat a burger.  At times he couldn't even turn his head. Freshman move in is stressful enough for a healthy kid, but for a kid who has to ride a scooter, can't move his arms, can't stay up past nine, needs to take a nap every day, and who is in constant pain, it was pretty difficult. I unpacked his room over two days, tried to get him organized, but really  had my doubts that he would be staying.

We hit a real low point on the Saturday night of move in weekend and were prepared to throw in the towel and just bring Nate home. I even put a panicky Sunday morning 7am call into our doctor.  She reassured me that he would be feeling worse before getting better, so we were right on track.  For the next two days, tho all the other parents left the University, we stayed on and put together a plan for Nate.  Notre Dame was tremendous.  They worked with us and him--everyone from his rector, to Health Services to his academic advisor to the phys ed department (yeah, you have to take Phys Ed your freshman year at Notre Dame...and even pass a swim test--which Nate could not do--I know FDR could swim, not sure about John McCain--Dave was all for him giving it a try, but his freshman advisor thought otherwise) was terrific.  And it reminded us just how special the Notre Dame community really is.

For the first few days/weeks, things were really dicey.  And frankly, we were just so awkward at making it work, that I think we made things worse.  Managing the ramps, elevators, distance, timing of meds, sleep, school and appointments was beyond our skill set.  I'm not kidding.  And Nate was trying to push himself more than he should have. and he kept running over the back of people's legs with the scooter, AND he was terrible at telling the truth about how much pain he was in or how limited he really was.  When the doctor at ND first saw him, before he had gone over Nate's file, he was like "Oh, we see a lot of kids who feel poorly....you look pretty good to me"  When Nate went back in a few days for  what has now become his weekly appointment (blood work, etc), the doctor actually said: "looking at your blood work, you should be crying on the floor right now--you are either a really happy and amazing kid, or you need some serious counseling because you are in total denial about your pain and how sick you are"  He encouraged Nate to come talk to him regularly, because I think he was worried that Nate would have a break down. (shoot, the one standing on the edge of breakdown or possible divorce is me) But Nate, being Nate, never gets down, or discouraged.  Sure, he wants to be back to normal, and would kill right now to be able to run, play basketball or work out, but he's actually making the best of things and has been using that scooter to pick up girls, cut the line for football tickets and provide campus tours with his friends attached to the back on skateboards.

Nate has been at school for a month now.  He's making progress and has actually been off the scooter except for far distances for almost a week.  He still can't move his arms above his head or run, or shoot a basketball or do yoga, apparently (because Nate can't take the regular ND freshman gym, he's in some special class called "contemporary topics" and they did yoga today--very contemporary, and Nate said he was dying. I'm  no yogi, but I am pretty sure raising your arms above your head and bending  your knees are fundamental in the yoga world. Shit, he might as well have tried the swim test)...but he is managing much better.  We are not really sure if he is getting better, or just learning how to live with his limitations. (Chris swears Nate has just learned to manage and live with the pain)  However, last week for the first time since this whole thing started, his sed rate and CRP have gone down.  They are still way above normal, but we are hoping things are moving in a positive direction.

So, here is the whole take away from this experience for me (besides becoming an expert in tick borne illnesses): I have the utmost, humbling and undying respect for those of you who have chronically ill children. How do you even do it? I've been dealing with this for eight weeks and can barely keep moving. And I am really sorry that I have not been empathetic or compassionate enough.  I'm sorry for all my whiny ass complaining about superficial kid stuff and my big fat ass.  (which is still quite large by the way--Nate on the other hand is dropping weight like crazy, and of course, so is manorexic Dave...) And I probably owe you all a case of wine and a month full of dinners.  And I can never understand for one second what your days consist of but I've got to ask: How can you stand to see your kid in pain? How can you keep going to physicians who, though well intentioned, really don't know what to do next? or who discount the test results that don't fit into their protocol? Do you ever sleep? Does the worry ever go away? Do you ever get off the internet, and stop scaring yourself to death?? And if so, when does this day arrive? Do you ever get over having that pit in your stomach when your kid can't do something they really love? (Nate had to watch his first ND home game as a student in the handicapped section on his scooter with all the old alumni--and his brother Chris--for some reason, this broke my heart) Or when other kids kind of avoid them because of their disability? (Trust me, even the nice kids at Notre Dame were giving Nate a bit of a berth while they were all scrambling to make friends the first few weeks of school. Surprisingly, being attached to a rascal scooter, when you are not a varsity athlete or have a visible injury is not a big draw)

All indicators show that Nate will eventually get better (just not sure when....or how....or why). And he's holding his own at Notre Dame. He is happy, making friends, and doing just fine with the easiest schedule in the history of Notre Dame.  (we totally had to redo his schedule and he is taking classes based solely on location, time of day and number of varsity athletes on the roster) And yet, I still pour over his medical records, I still call him every single day to see what his numbers are, I still make Annie and Chris touch base with him daily to ensure he is not lying to me, underplaying his pain.  I still worry incessantly, I still lay awake at night trying to figure out what else I should be doing (and we will be going to the Mayo Clinic over his fall break if this thing doesn't resolve itself soon) and I still wonder if there was something I've missed.

For those of you who deal with issues way graver than this daily, for those of you who have been dealing with sick kids for years and decades--I'm sorry and I am moved beyond words at how well you all handle your days.  I applaud your graciousness, I am in awe of your good humor, I am humbled by your actions and how you live your lives.  I am even more impressed if you are still married, because I was pretty sure our kids would be celebrating two Christmases for a while there...(stress does NOT bring out the best in our relationship....neither did Dave's 6 hour round of golf on Notre Dame's Warren Course while I was trying to navigate Nate's orientation....). You have my  undying admiration and my utmost respect.  And for what it's worth, this blog is for you.

Now, today's (this year's) Top Ten:

1. 49 cent cones--they are great, especially if you can move your arms
2. The 1818 catazine (catalogue/magazine from Brooks Brothers)--they have really upped their game
3. The shamrock button down from Brooks Brothers--I have it in navy and in green. A total Notre Dame game staple.
4. The Henley dress from J. McGlaughlin--it's pretty much changed my life. I'm not kidding.
5. Kevin Moyer and the gentlemen of St. Eds for sticking up for Nate when he was getting heckled in the stands at the Notre Dame game for sitting down in the student section.  Glad no blood was shed.
6. Drunk History--the best show on TV, hands down.  I know it is messed up, but it makes me laugh so, so hard.. "This guy...This guy is an awkward, ape legged, ape armed..."
7. Andean Health and Development--they are doing some really high level work in Ecuador that is making an enormous impact.
8. I Give it a Year--a totally great little movie on demand, that Nate and I watched not once, but twice during our long motionless nights.  "The sound track of my marriage"...
9. Skinny Pop pop corn--only 39 calories a serving--except if you eat the whole bag...
10. Nate McKeon--total trooper, medical mystery, scooter hooter.

Now that I'm back on the blog again, I promise to post up regularly.  thanks for hanging in there.