COED UPDATE

Don't be too shocked but I am giving you all a quick update on my life as a co-ed.  Yeah, I know I should be doing my homework, but I'm reverting quickly to my old college/law school behavior of needing to take a break every hour...(half hour) and yes, you, my friend,s are my break...

Here are a few quick observations:

1. I'm kind of old...there are many "students" here who are not yet thirty...they all seem like super nice people, but it's hard for me to not ask them to take out the garbage or to tell them all to go make their beds. I refrain, because I have to stay on their good sides because I will be at their mercy the minute some heavy duty technology project is due...
2. This will come as a big shock (to no one) but I am already figuring out ways to bribe these hipsters to do some of the heavy lifting for me....Do not think that these "Teach for America" kiddies, who are taking out student loans to get their MNAs cannot be bought.by Dave McKeon's hard earned money.( I am just trying to set my pricing strategy in advance because I don't want to start out too high and then lose my bargaining power come crunch time...)
3. There is more work than I thought...shiiiitttt. I had heard that this program was intense, but I was hoping there was a bit of urban legend in it...No such luck.  I am going to have to apply myself.
4. I need to buy some highlighters...and a stapler. Should have packed these but I guess I thought my papers were going to staple themselves now.. Also, I guess my books will be highlighting themselves, because obviously, I'm not making that happen right now...
5. Many of my classmates take great notes and create all these study guides that they are willing to share (for free---non profiteers all the way).  I will probably not be able to return the favor, but I am more than happy to big up the check. 
6. Living in a dorm is oddly freeing--no overhead, no maintenance.  It's only been a day an a half, so ask me come week three how I feel about living in a 9 by 10 foot space, but for now, it's ok... ish...except for the communal bathroom...don't ask
7. There are a lot of people doing some very cool non profit stuff.  It's interesting to see all of the unique perspective out there...Some day I will tell you about the guy in my class who is a political fundraiser who had to get Chinese food for Bill Clinton...it is hysterical. 
8. I don't think I'm the dumbest one in the class (actually, everyone is pretty damn accomplished--stupid high standards at Notre Dame...)However, there is a very good chance that I am quite possibly the second dumbest...
9. It's very cool to be back on the ND Campus. I got up early this morning to run around the lakes and make a stop at the Grotto.  Just like old times...(except I run WAY slower)
10. I miss Dave and the kids more than I thought.. much more. It's hard to realize when you are so immersed in your day to day life, how disconcerting it is to be totally removed from it and dropped into an entirely different day to day.... I'm sure I will get more used to it, and am even more certain that Dave McKeon will be here soon for a conjugal visit, but it's still very foreign to know that this experience is totally mine..However, their is a guy in my class who is a dead ringer for Chris McKeon (he even has a very similar sense of humor...he totally cracks me up) and he has a super good natured friend (like Jack), so I get a little taste of the brotherhood, and have a real good idea of what they will be like in about five years..Still looking for the Nate and Pete doppelgangers, but time will tell. 

That's all I have time for tonight.  Thanks to all of you who sent your best wishes.  If I survive, I think I will learn a ton, and I promise to make you all proud...(don't worry about my integrity, I'm not going to pay these kids to do my homework....I just want to put a few of them on retainer to handle my technology needs...)

Study break's up, time for me to get my fat, old ass back to work.  I will post up soon...(actually because I now spend so much time at my computer, I will probably post on a more regular basis...she says optimistically....)

FIN!

I know just how late it is. I apologize, but there were SO many entries and the judges really took the time to dissect these six word nuggets of literary prowess. It was WAY harder than it looks. I must have read every entry ten times. Judge Wendy had much to say...most of it sounding something like: "That is not a six word STORY, it is a six word SENTENCE!  Big difference!" Judge Nate slogged through them all and weighed in with his unique perspective, and Judge Chris had to recuse himself as he posted up a few pearls of his own. "Internet is here. Wake Grandma. Fin" ?? Really??  Maybe.... (True story:  At one point tonight, this free form nonsensical piece of bullshit was actually in contention...no joke. I've got to tell you, if you read any of these six word configurations enough times, they all start to sound like they have some deep hidden meaning....it's scary. Thank God Judge Wendy brought us back to our collective senses.."Just because it says "fin" at the end doesn't make it a story...it's just six sassy words strung together...we have got to move on")   Needless to say, we went round and round on all 300 plus entries. Judge Wendy was beginning to lose her patience, and then, she actually lost her electricity, (HUGE storms in the Western suburbs with a massive power outage--Judge Wendy is freaking out because her auxiliary sump pump battery may run low and we all know what that can lead to...needless to say, judging six word stories are no longer at the top of her "to do") so, lucky for everyone, except Judge Wendy and her neighbors,  we just had to make some tough decision and bring this baby to a close. Also, Judge Nate left to go to Wingstop...judging a challenge of this magnitude really works up your appetite....

So, after much deliberation, we have chosen the three top entries, and thus, determined the winner of the entire challenge. It was interesting, to say the least, seeing each contestant playing out their long term strategies. Judy and Tricia (especially Tricia) went for quantity all the way today. Stacy, once again, is playing the quality card. John as always jumped in first and set the bar high, in both quantity and quality, and Brenna provides a thoughtfulness to her entries that is quite compelling. Honestly, everyone of you did an excellent job! Again, I thank you all for participating in this literary challenge and for devoting some of your precious time to punching into the blog. This has been a very fun way for me to ease some of my anxiety about going back to school....actually, I have way more anxiety about leaving Posey home with her brothers and father....this could end badly in so many ways, that I have to stop dwelling on it or I will drive myself crazy  (Please, it takes a village...If any of you see her walking alone down Sheridan Road, or standing on the corner of 75th and 22nd Ave by herself, please pick her up and then drive directly to my house and smack every single male in sight....really hard. Then call me)

So, again, thanks for the fun diversion. And most of all, please remember that this is a contest for fun and fellowship. Please don't hold a grudge if you are not THE winner (remember, only ONE winner tonight....sorry. I only have ONE prize) and if you are upset, please hold that grudge against Judge Wendy. She was the total stickler in this thing. I would have let everyone win...of course I would...I do promise that when I return from grad school, (even if I flunk out--it could happen) come this August, there will be a big old blog challenge reunion Beach Party at Casa McKeon  (fingers crossed that our new found beach has not been washed away by tonight's storm...), that will better than any necklace, bracelet or Burberry scarf.  So even if you are upset by tonight's results, just pretend like you are not, so you can come and suck down all the very famous, patented Dave McKeon Long Island's you can drink. I'm even hoping to get Young Studly Louis to come up...Beach Blanket McKeon will draw a crowd.

With all of that preface, here are tonight's results. I must warn you, they kind of took on a life of their own as we analyzed and re analyzed these stories...First the quantity points which really had an impact on the whole challenge, but especially tonight.. (counting these up was time consuming, to say the least :
Judy: 170, John: 156, Stacy: 40, Tricia: 264!!!, Brenna: 86.   Very excellent.

Now, on to quality---for this last challenge, the judges split a possible 1000 points (the last challenge is ALWAYS worth the most) among the top three entries....now you know why this took so gd long...there are many ways to split 1000 points. But finally here is how it all played out...
Numbers 2 and 3 tied and each entry received 250 points. Number one was awarded 500 points.  It was beyond crazy coming to this compromise but the Judges feel really good about their work. The two masterful second place entries were:
2. John's "Man awakes. Chews off own arm." This was a consistent judge favorite because you can just see the story here....(not a very pretty story, but a pretty good story) John had some other great entries, too--("What is she like? Great personality"....was one of my favorites, but one sump pump obsessed judge just "couldn't see the story"...)  John, 250 points plus your quantity points=406 for the night...very, very impressive.

2. Judy's "Shit! I married the wrong woman." was just excellent.  Again, great story, great emotion...cracked everyone up...(another Judy contender was "Your husband is a great kisser"...talk about a story...) As always, Judy brought the quality and quantity  420 total points for you tonight.

1. And finally, in a very surprising come from behind win...with a very touching subtle entry (that honestly, given all of the entries from this author may have been blind luck--kind of like when John guessed my confirmation name) Tricia's : "In the end, she loved him". Read this one a few (hundred) times and it really is the best story of all...Who knew the judges would get so sappy at the end of this whole thing? Certainly not me.  This little story just kept growing on us and in the end, we loved it...that gives Tricia a ridiculous 764 points for tonight.

To Kim and Stacy, we all mean this when we say that your entries were terrific (Stacy's "Love being a mom. Margaritas help" is a classic, and Brenna's "Love, a heart breaking emotional war" made everyone of us sigh, but both of these got aced out in the end...blame the sump pump. At one point, we were tempted to score five, but Judge Wendy brought us back to the rules...and for that we are thankful or we may still be going at it. ) Again, it was a real treat to read your stuff. Thanks again for participating and sharing your talents.

For those of you who are not doing the math in your heads, the final scoreboard reveals that Tricia, yes, Tricia in a spectacular come from behind victory is our winner with 1315 total points...Way to go, Tricia. Excellent job. Quantity yielded quality and that, my friend resulted in a Tiffany necklace to match your very cool bracelet. Now all John has to do is get you the earrings and you are all set...

Judy came in second with a whopping 1196 points and John was right behind with 1148 points. Once again, you two finish at the top.  Very well played.  It was another stellar challenge. Great entries, great comraderie and an awesome photo finish. Again, thanks to all who participated and thanks to all who popped in just to view the fun. Tricia, the necklace is ready and waiting for you. Congratulations and Contact me for delivery.

Wish me luck as I re enter the world of Academia.  Let's hope it doesn't spit me right back out. I will try to keep you posted, but I should probably do my homework first....again, thanks to all. See you on the beach.

ACROSTIC FEVER

When it rains, it pours. The acrostics were pouring in and they were dynamite. This was the most difficult challenge to score thus far. I kind of backed myself  into a corner by saying I was only going to pick the top three because there were many, many worthy entries. BUT because I must abide by my own rules, three it is. Judge Wendy is ready to kill me because, as opposed to last night, she had like ten entries she loved. The boys weighed in and also had a tough time picking just three...Kudos to Stacy.  The tough love speech really paid off. She significantly picked up the pace, and the judges responded accordingly. Now, if I could just get that speech to work on Pete McKeon....

Before I release the results from tonight, I just want to say how much once again I've enjoyed this competition. You guys have a wealth of literary/wordy skills and I'm so glad you shared them with the blog. These last two challenges are the toughest and because of that, they will be scored accordingly. As the numbers come in, things may be in a little bit of flux. Stay steady and everything will be just fine. Keep posting up your best efforts and trust the judges...(or blame the judges...but not just me)

Here are tonight's quantity points and they are still being doubled: John 12, Judy 30!, Stacy 20!!, Tricia 10 and Brenna 6. Again, so many of the entries were great, but we were only allowed to pick the top three. After much deliberation, and I mean much deliberation, here are the top three acrostics of the night. And the scoring rubric has been adjusted accordingly...things are getting very interesting...
Number 3: Tricia's Tony Bennett acrostic--very well done. 100==your total 110
Number 2: Kim/Brenna's Sammy Davis Jr. one--any acrostic that contains the line "I'm a one eyed negro jew" is a winner with the judges. 200 points in honor of the one eyed negro jew a whopping 206 for you tonight. (though I must admit, my head was just a little turned by the Laurie McKeon one...)
Number 1: Stacy, Stacy, Stacy--All of your entries were quality and the judges actually were fighting over which one of yours should be ranked number 1--Chris fought for the Cat Stevens one, Nate was partial to St. Nicholas, but Judge Wendy declared that the St. Martha one was the undisputed champ (she's a little partial to those who clean up alot) See what happens when you listen to your mother and put in a little extra effort? (Oh, sorry, I mixed you up with Pete for a second)--You walk away with 320 points that's what. AND you are so in contention for a beautiful Tiffany necklace.

Oh, and by the way, Larry Sanchez, man of the 50s, your acrostic was beautiful, but it was posted just a little too late...otherwise, Larry, you would have been a contender.....

Man, this competition is getting REALLY intense. John, Judy and Stacy are within a few points of each other and Brenna and Tricia are not too far behind.This really is anyone's challenge to win. A first place showing by anyone of you will bring home the bacon...(necklace) Between my nerves about going back to school AND the stress of this competition, I actually could only eat ONE candy bar today.... We need to wrap this thing up so I can go back to my candy hogging ways...and possibly get my homework done so I don't flunk out of school the first week.

Now, here is the final challenge. I've been building up to this the entire competition. It is a super tough one and I'm going to admit that I stole the concept from Ernest Hemingway.  He said that you could write a story in six words. Here was his example: "Baby shoes for sale. Never worn."  --pretty great, right? Sends a chill or two. And it is so freaking good that I can't even think up an example of my own....except: "Text books for sale. Never read"....just kidding. So, this is it, for all the marbles, Write a story in six words. That's it...It can be on any topic of your choice. Just make it good. And please, original work only....if you cheat on this one, we will hunt you down like the lying scumbag you are...  Please get all entries in by five pm and may the best six word story win....I mean it, I'm super nervous about this challenge and I'm not even a competitor. Good, good, very good luck. I can't wait to see how this shakes out.

Again, no top ten, because I just need to get this thing posted...Tomorrow night it will all be over

EIGHT DOWN, TWO TO GO!

There are only two challenges left, my friends, and to be quite frank, there may only be two challengers left...I did a little high level math this weekend and tallied every one's total scores. (nice practice for grad school) As Brenna so accurately pointed out, John and Judy are battling to the finish. However, I would like to give a little lecture to our friend Stacy....You are killing me. You are like the Pete McKeon of this challenge...all of the potential to win big, but only willing to do the bare minimum...(Pete is the king of the 93.5 average...just enough for an A, just enough to keep me off of his ass...) One entry a day, Stacy?....Really?? You can't muster up a few more sentences each night? I'm not asking for the Magna Carta here...just a few freaking lines...Your stuff is top shelf, but you are getting killed in the quantity category. Judy and John are prolific and they are cleaning up just with sheer volume. You're an engineer for crying out loud, you should know that this is a numbers game....Ok, sorry about the tirade...you know I'm only saying this because I love you, Stacy. So, in order to level it out, and make things just a little more interesting, for these last two challenges. I am only awarding the top three places...then, when Stacy sends in her solo perfect entry, she won't be penalized. However, quantity points will still be awarded, so those who make the effort will get their due...(you have no idea how hard I work to make this all fair..ish.) And in the name of fairness, I am warning you, the last challenge, which will be posted tomorrow, is totally awesome and will go for ginormous points. So, for everyone, stay in the hunt and stay tuned....

Before posting the results from the last challenge and giving the scoring status report, I'm going to fill you in on my Happy Father's Day...but first, let me tell you what I got for Mother's Day...NOTHING--that's right, no one gd thing, except a pretty cool vase made out of paper from Posey (complete with paper flowers) and some toast in bed, also made by Posey. The rest of the shids did nothing, that's right...nothing....and they wonder why Posey is my favorite. Like it's even close....Sure, I wasn't expecting anything too awesome, coming off of the trip to Great Britain and the Longchamp palooza, but still, a little something for the effort would have been nice...whatever....

Now, flash forward to Dave McKeon's Happy Father's Day: first Posey and I whipped up a gourmet high protein breakfast, then, while Dave sat in the big leather chair and watched the US Open (won by my future son in law Rory McIlroy---Rory, please call Annie McKeon today...her mom will make her marry you) his faithful wife trekked to Sam's Club to stock up for the month she will be gone. I saw both Stacy AND Tina Lampe there.  Sam's Club...the place to be on Father's Day...and they can both attest to the massive amounts of total and absolute shit in my cart(s). It was a two flat bed, one cart, four figure trip...Who knew bagel bites were so expensive? For the next month my kids will be living on bottled water, green tea, diet soda, bagel bites (millions of them), bacon, kit kats, snickers, twix, fruit by the foot, microwave popcorn, chips, bananas and strip steak. (Maybe it was a mistake taking Chris and Pete with me to "pick out" the food) Oh, and I bought some eggs (like 5 dozen) for Dave "4 hr body" McKeon.

Then, Dave McKeon went out and played golf with his four sons, (only nine holes because after a while their shidiocy starts to get on his nerves...understandably so) while his wife put away ALL the junk food and he came home for a nice steak dinner (high protein all the way). Then he opened (using this term loosely because the boys refuse to wrap gifts and just put them in a big bag with a bow on it) many fine, fine gifts including but not limited to two golf shirts from St. Andrews, some shorts that actually fit his slimmer physique, some Brooks Brothers non iron shirts (can never get enough of these essentials), and some golf stuff....I always come through. Once again, wife of the year...Happy Father's Day...

Now, enough about us, on to the challenge. Nice job by John and Judy, many great allusions and just a plethora of entries. These two really cleaned up tonight, because of the quantity of entries. Please, Stacy, Sue, Tricia and Brenna, don't let this become a two man competition. The points will keep increasing for these last two challenges....Let's jump on this.  OK, enough with the rambling lectures, let's score this bad boy...(In the interest of full disclosure, Judge Wendy didn't like any of these allusions, and to be honest, she hated the whole challenge and kept saying things like: "I don't get this one" "What is Kodachrome?" "Why would there be zeros at a Star Trek Convention?"....so the judging is a little skewed...sorry..).
Quantity points--remember, these were doubled: Judy 68, John 20, Tricia 8, Stacy 2...on to quality
Number 10: John for the Junior College/Obama entry...10 points
Number 9:  John for the Catholic School one--20 points--I'm feeling your pain--20 points
Number 8--Judy for the "McGill is the Harvard of Canada". I don't know why, but it made me laugh...30 points
Number 7--Judy for the 7th grade nun/Sybil one--40 points
Number 6--John for the "more zeros than a Star Trek convention.." I thought this was VERY funny--50 points
Number 5: Judy for the "McKeon Sanford and sons" one--60 points
Number 4: Tricia for the "Carl/Giuliani's kid" one--70 points
Number 3 Judy for the "smoking weed/Pat Boone/snoop dog one...for some reason this made me laugh pretty hard--80 points
Number 2:: John for rhe "Calc 3/Louis" entry--super well done and way to come full circle with the blog. 90 big points for you
Number 1: Stacy, Stacy, Stacy--everyone LOVED the Martha Stewart/Laurie McKeon allusion...it was flat out great and gave you...100 points...102 with your doubled up quantity points...just think how many points you could have had if you'd only had a few more entries....ok, ok, I'll stop already...

Now for today's totals AND real time total competition totals thus far:
Judy: 278 for today--a new blog record and just a shit load of points bringing your total to--746!!! and you are currently in first place....
John: 190 for today, excellent work AND you are right behind Judy with 730 points...this is going to be a flat out duel...I'm excited to see how this cliff hanger ends
Stacy: 102 for tonight and 463 total--you are still in this hunt, sister. Trust me...the next two challenges are HUGE and will be judged accordingly
Tricia: 78 for tonight and 441 total points--again, still well within striking distance. Keep it up.
Kim/Brenna: no entry for tonight but 301 total points--you are still in this and have been a valiant competitor. stay with me, here
Sue: 110 total points---I'm going to have to level with you...it's going to be tough for you to take this, but not impossible....big points will be awarded for being first in the next two challenges, Two first place entries, and that necklace is yours....the real question is: how badly do you want it???
Kristi and JoeL: you both started strong, but then faded....you have 31 and 21 points respectively...not an impossible  victory, but .....(I should make some sort of allusion here, but really can't muster one up, as I've moved on to the next challenge...) So, that's the tally board as of tonight. The next two challenges will make or break the contest for you all. I'm on the edge of my seat....

Here is tonight's challenge: Create an acrostic poem (one of those that spells out a name going down and then has a line starting with each letter describing the name) about either a 50s, 60s 70s ish lounge singer OR a Catholic saint.  (with all the great info you learned in the Holy and Lowly contest, this should be a piece of cake) Here is an example:
L-oves sequins
I-nteraction with the fans made him beloved
B-orn in West Allis, Wisconsin
E-lizabeth the Queen was a fan
R-epublican, believe it or not
A-crimonious split from his "body guard/boyfriend"
C-andelabra was his signature prop
E-ntertainer who was paid the most during the 50s-70s (according to wikipedia)

There you go. This shouldn't be too hard, ...should it, Stacy?  Remember, Judge Wendy is ready for something really clever, as she was none to happy with my last challenge.  Let's make her happy....

I'd do a top ten, but I've GOT to get this thing posted...I've got some homework to do...

RIP REAL FAKE HOUSEWIVES

Man, I think this was my favorite challenge. These epitaphs were hysterical. I was LMAO!! Let's just cut to the the chase...John was ridiculously good at this. I mean crazy good. I would totally have him write my epitaph, if I didn't already have it all set. (In case you all were wondering, and you know you were, here is my own self created personal epitaph--and I'm only a little kidding: "She was clean"--that's all I want it to say. It's enough and sums up very succinctly the essence of my whole existence. Judge Wendy's will say "She was REALLY clean"...and after you stop crying over our tragic demise, and marvelling at our perfect epitaphs, then you can throw our ashes into Torch Lake with the rest of our family...Please don't tell the Michigan DNR--or the Catholic church for that matter--because both of these bureaucracies seem to  frown on the whole practice of disposing of  human ashes into nature..pfft--it's been done before--once or twice.  Someday I will share with you all of the shameful details of the time that Dave McKeon was trying to unobtrusively dispose of some Giunti family ashes into Torch Lake while pedalling a powder blue paddle boat in the pouring rain---just get the visual. It was like a scene from a Zach Galafinakas movie...Once again, is it any surprise that the Giunti family could totally bitch up what should have been a very touching, solemn, respectful moment?)

Before I tally today's scores, I must relay that I had the pleasure of meeting John and Tricia's oldest daughter today. She is just lovely and noted that her parents really enjoyed the blog. I was touched by her comments. and assume she takes after her mother, because during our entire conversation (I was laying on a chaise lounge next to the pool--my standard summer pose) she did not utter a single word of profanity OR a right wing diatribe. It is very refreshing to see such a polite, well mannered, well spoken young person (Don't I sound like someone's eighty year old grandma?? I swear, I have totally become that old lady who is constantly chiding "these kids today" and reminiscing about "back when I was a girl...."--seriously, just this morning I had like an hour long conversation with my friend Casey about "back when I was a kid no one was driving me anywhere in the summer. If I couldn't ride my bike, I didn't go. And no grown up ever gave a shit about keeping me amused in the summer....ever....we spent our whole summer ducking the adults so that no one could make us mow the lawn or weed the yard...blah, blah, blah...") But anyhow, nice work, Heinzmanns, your daughter is aces. Tell her to keep those iced teas coming and she will be rewarded handsomely. 

Here is the next little side note I want to get out there. (just delaying the scoring inevitability) Did anyone else read the latest GQ? You really should because it is honestly one of the best, funniest magazines ever printed. But in this month's edition, they have a quiz to determine if you are a p*$$&-- no lie.  It is crazy funny, but I do need to point out--I totally invented the whole "You know you are a p*$$& if..." thing. You know it's true.  I don't mind GQ stealing my stuff, but I do hope that all of you will set the record straight, should somebody ask "Hey, who started this whole p*$$& mania?" Because we all know that it was me...or really, it was Dave McKeon... After this latest challenge I will once again return to my roots and start quoting the always cutting edge Dave McKeon.  If it's good enough for GQ, hell yes, it's good enough for me.

Now, without further delay ( I swear, I need some adderal to keep me focused) here are tonight's results: Quantity points first: John and Judy--each get 20, Tricia 6, Stacy 4, Brenna and Sue each get 2. That's the easy part. Now, I have to score the quality ...this is going to get a little crazy, but I must adhere to the rules---Really clean judge Wendy is making me--so here are the top ten starting with number 10
Number 10: John's "Makeover in Peace, Ramona"---so funny, and pretty impressive for a non Housewife watcher  10 points
Number 9: John's "Profanity, R rated" long one--20 points
Number 8: John's "Bethany Frankel, size 4 bikini one" --30 points--I'm sorry, but the judges call them like they see them and John was scarily good at this challenge
Number 7: Tricia's "Ramona the Flake"--so,so  funny-- 40 points
Number 6: Kim's "Mob wives"--it was quite well done, but Judge Wendy docked you a few spots because the Mob Wives are really not "Real Housewives"--actually, you should probably feel pretty good about NOT knowing much about these psychos...so enjoy your 50 points.
Number 5: Judy Pulera's " Been there, Done that"--funny, right to the point and worth 60 big points
Number 4: Suechi's "Housewives/no morals one" --strong, solid message. A surprising pick of the male judges--70 points for this one
Number 3: Stacy's "insides real, outsides have had some work" one--Stacy never fails to impress the judges. And in reply to John's request for speed points, I just have to say...sorry, that was the last contest. Everyone has a strategy and this is Stacy's. Let the game play out as it will...80 points for her
Number 2: Tricia's "Countess LuAnn"--this was my personal favorite--I hate that big phony Countess (Also, Tricia--loved the Kyle Richards one, too...you and John should go into the epitaphs business...) 90 points for this effort
Number 1: A big, big hit with Judge Wendy and the boys (and Brenna, too,) John's "Al Quada" one.--this was just very solid work, making some terrific word choices and adding a few verses went a long way. 100 whopping points for John. The Heinzmann's totally cleaned up tonight. All Heinzmann all day....Way to tag team today's challenge. Well played.
For those of you who aren't keeping track in your heads of tonight's total point break down (basically for everyone except Stacy) Here is how tonight shook out:
John: 180 points---super impressive score tonight. But the pressure is on to keep up this high level of performance.  Three challenges to go.  Can he sustain it??
Tricia: 136 points--a great night's work. Way to keep John on his toes.
Stacy: 84 points for you--always a good effort. Now's the time to turn up the heat.
Sue: 72 points---nice to have you back in the hunt. There is still plenty of time to take over this thing.
Judy: 80 total points for you. Let's bring it home in style. I have no doubt that you will kick to the finish.
Brenna: 52 points for tonight--sorry about the technicality, but you made your mark last night, and I'm sure you will do it again.

Now, here is tonight's challenge and remember, no post for tomorrow. So you have almost two full days to get your entries in....Please write a sentence or phrase about school (very timely for me) that includes an allusion. For those of you who do not recall what an allusion is, allow me to refresh your recollection: an allusion is a reference to a famous person or event in life or literature like:  The Ohio State University is like the Gomer Pyle of the Big Ten or His study habits resembled those of Huck Finn...or something like that. This should be interesting because allusion can be tricky. Please refrain from stealing shit off of the internet....this contest is all about original work. Thank you.

To kick off your weekend, Here are today's Top Ten:

1. GQ's article about that 22 year old who pretended to be a high school sophomore
2. Rory McIlroy--just amazing...I want him to win the US Open
3. Congressional Country Club--wish I was hanging out at that club---it's just beautiful
4. White jeans---for chicks.  Sorry, but only a few dudes can carry this look off--odds are you are not one of them. Trust me on this.
5. The medium stainless steel buckets from Hobby Lobby---they have a million uses and cost like $3.99
6. The Cubs--beat the Yankees today--nice start to the weekend
7. Babalot Tennis Racquet's--used by Nadal (and the McKeon boys)
8. The Boston Bruins--way to keep the cup in the US
9. The 'smores creme brulee at Ashlings on the Lake--they hardly ever have it, but it is life changing
10. The p*$$& quiz in GQ--read it today.

Remember, no challenge tomorrow--hone your allusions and post them up. Enjoy the weekend, Happy almost Father's Day.

ALLITERATION IS ALIVE!!

Very well done tonight. There were several fine, fine, side splitting entries that had the judges in stitches. I only wish that we could pick more than five winners...Oh that's right!! We can. So, here's the deal for tonight. We are picking the TEN best entries and awarding points accordingly. (100 points for the best, 90 for number 2--you get the idea) I wasn't lying when I said that it is indeed anybody's game. With this new scoring system, the door is WIDE open...Start rushing through it,people...

AND this just in:  Judge Wendy has indeed ruled that non alliterative prepositions in your alliterative sentences are just fine--Brenna dodged a bullet there, and her gamble totally paid off. (Spoiler alert: Brenna does quite well in the scoring tonight--Judge Wendy loved her stuff) So, without further ado, here are the day's tallies:
First: quantity--remember, they are doubled:
Tricia: 22, John 20, Judy 18, Brenna 18, Stacy 2 (where oh where is Suechi?? I thought she would kill in this competiton)
Now, for quality:
Number 10: Tricia's "Amber/teen mom" one--10 points
Number 9: Judy's "Hef's healthy heart..." 20 points
Number 8: John's "Scotty" one--I enjoyed this more that Judge Wendy....(little aside: I'm so sorry, John, but the male judges were unavailable tonight due to a marathon basketball game....the judges was just a little chick friendly tonight...I promise to chain them to their chairs tomorrow and force them to judge the entries)  30 points for this
Number 7: Brenna's "hoarder' one...creepy, but very good...40 big points
Number 6: Tricia's "Bandana Bret" one--well done and worth 50 points
Number 5: John's "Ozzie Osbourne" one...great use of vowels  60 points
Number 4: Stacy's "Bachelorette" one--maybe Stacy is now regretting just having one entry, ...maybe not..She still gets 70 big points
Number 3: Tricia's "Eden early exit..." this was super timely, very clever and I am totally freaked out by that Toddler and Tiara thing...80 whopping points...Tricia is cleaning up...woohoo
Number 2: Judy's "Sarah Ferguson" one--just hysterical. I loved, loved. loved this one.
Number 1: Brenna's " Tila Tequila" one--Judge Wendy raved about this one and it was very, very well done.
To recap and total tonight's points...because they were flying fast and furious:
John: 110 big, big points tonight
Stacy: 72 points for tonight
Judy: 128 points for the night
Tricia: 152 just huge points
Brenna/Kim: redemption is yours--158 WHOPPING points for the night
What a great night for all!! I have not yet done a grand total, so I have no idea actually where anyone stands, but I bet it's kind of close....We are now on the down hill stretch...bring your A game, because that necklace is so worth it...

Here is tonight's challenge...and I'm pretty sure the same complicated scoring grid will apply, so plan for major points. Write an epitaph for any (or all) of the Real Housewives (any city, any crazy housewife) Remember: an epitaph is one of those phrases that they put on a tombstone...they usually rhyme. Here are some examples I stole off the internet, because I am too tired to think up a good one using an actual Housewife (I did think up a bad one--see below) so, here are a few:
In a London cemetery

Here lies Ann Mann,

Who lived an old maid

But died an old Mann.

Dec. 8, 1767

In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery

The children of Israel wanted bread

And the Lord sent them manna,

Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,

And the Devil sent him Anna

 

These are very good....Here is mine:

Here lies that stupid Alex

the Housewife no one likes

Her husband is a flamer

And someone should taze her tykes

Ok, it's not that great, but that Alex from the New York Housewives is just so odd, and her kids are just nuts Again, I'm sure you all will do much better...good, good luck. And please--original work only...I'm trusted you fellas...don't let me down.

@#**&@#*&% FOUR LETTER WORDS!!

Nice work, challengers. You all did much, much better with this challenge, than ye old Limerick challenge, though I am not really all that surprised given your collective proficiency with four letter words. I've seen your previous comments and every single one of you guys seems to have a much higher comfort level with profanity than with limericks...good to know. I did think this was a great challenge and you all did quite well. Once again, picking the winners was difficult.

But before I tally today's points, I am pondering a few existential questions. Allow me to ramble a bit. During the school year, my kids are not allowed to watch much television, and we never watch day time TV. During the summer, all bets are off, and the tv seems to be on all goddamn day. ESPN, ESPNU, ESPN2, Bravo, that RiverMonsters channel, MTV, VH1, and every other crap network out there. Now I know why our entire civilization is quickly eroding into a big pile of garbage. Cable TV...it's an f'ing wasteland...So, here are some of my questions:

• Are Ryan and Tatum O'Neal so hard up for cash that they will unveil the most ungodly behavior on this new reality show they've got on Oprah's new net work?
• How money grubby is Oprah that she will back this kind of crap?
• And of course, can I stop myself from watching this train wreck? (it's a toss-up)
• Is anyone shocked that Hugh Hefner was dumped by his 25 year old fiancee?
• Or shocked that the whole thing was a big, fat set up?
• Or shocked that Dr. Phil's son is somehow involved?
• Does anyone in Hollywood, except Chris O'Donnell, hang out/hook up/date/marry normal people who are not in some way affiliated or hoping to be affiliated with show business/music business/ modeling/the porn industry/Oprah or Oprah off shoots?
• Why the hell did Arnold and Maria's ex housekeeper grant an interview to that British Magazine? And how humiliating for Maria.
• Doesn't that kid look freakishly like Arnold? Creepy....
• Do you really think it was only a few times?
• Is Ian still alive on Pretty Little Liars?
• Really?? Is anyone surprised that Snookie got arrested in Italy?
• When does Rescue Me come back on??

Ok, got those little mysteries off my chest. Now, here is the scoring for tonight: Quantity and quality combined: (just a little side note---while Brenna/Kim had some very fine sentences, she will not be getting any points tonight...not really as a punishment, more as a gentle encouragement to stay on the straight and narrow...)
Number Five: A tie between John and Judy--short and sweet made an impact on the judges tonight: John's "Pack suck" and Judy's "Hell yeah, Game time!" 10 points each for the both of you, plus your quantity points--that's 14 for John and 34 for Judy, ...thus far
Number Four: John's  "Yale/golf dyke" one. I was very impressed. Another 20 for John, bringing his night's total up to 34...the race gets tighter.
Number Three: Tricia's "golf cart sans cart girl" one.  The boys loved this one, because their heads have been turned a time or two by one of the cart girls at Strawberry Creek...hit close to home. 36 big points for you.
Number Two: Judy's "Cris bald team" one. The boys are nothing if not egocentric, so this totally got their votes and Judge Wendy was quite impressed...Well done, Mrs Pulera--74 big, important points for you.
Number One: Stacy. Even on the road, Stacy brings it home. Her solo entry was quite impressive...and according to Judge Wendy, it made the most sense. This is one tight little race we have here.

To spice things up a bit, starting with tomorrow's judging, we are going to increase the point totals. It's all doubling up, even the  quantity points, so bring it on. Two good days and any one can win it all....
Now, for tonight's challenge: Write a logical alliterative sentence about reality TV. (remember, alliterative sentences are those that have the same beginning letter sounds) For example: Stupid Snookie still seems so skanky swilling successive smirnoffs. You guys can make some better and longer sentences...I'm running out of time. Good Luck with this one and do your very best to rack up huge, huge points.

Tonight's Top Ten:--10 great suggestions for Father's Day--you're welcome

1. The 30 for 30 DVDs--produced by ESPN--these movies are dynamite. I'm not kidding. The SMU one was super informative. I want them WAY more than Dave McKeon
2. A round of golf at Whistling Straits--great course, great club house, a great gift
3. The non iron shirts from Brooks Brothers.--can't go wrong here. I think they have a deal going on
4. A tie from Ben Silver...(or Hermes, if your dad is a real clothes horse)--their stuff is classic, and they  have some great patterns
5. The Nook---however, I have to warn you--this thing is addictive. It's like crack for readers...
6. Bonobos shorts or pants...check them out, their are pretty cool
7. The New Droid Thunderbolt Verizon's 4G Phone--according to my sources from McTernan wireless, a new tower is being put up in Kenosha tomorrow
8. Some great steaks from William Sonoma's new meat catalogue...and/or a great steak dinner at Mr. B's steakhouse.
9. A subscription to GQ Magazine--just a ton of great value here...and it looks like you planned ahead
10. Love--(or some Titleist ProV golf balls)

Good luck tonight. Go make some sentences....

LIMERICKS?? ARE YOU SURE???

The judges have conferred. We've viewed and reviewed your limericks....and I'm not pointing any fingers, but...some of you seem to have a little trouble with cadence, rhythm, and counting...John, I truly appreciate your willingness to help your fellow competitors crack the (obviously trickier than I thought) code of the limerick, and the judges (particularly Judge Wendy) could feel your pain as you grew somewhat frustrated when they did not follow your advice...so noted. Seriously, Judge Wendy was unforgiving regarding the form and structural requirements of the limerick--really unforgiving...so, I'm already apologizing in advance for her harshness...(you should have seen her original list of winners and her comments...woooh!!)

Little aside--right now, while waiting for Jack McKeon to grill up some dinner (got to blog...no time to cook) I am watching that America's Got Talent Show...guess what? America does not have talent--some guy just tried to blow up three hot water bottles??? Really??? this is talent?? Thank God the Pretty Little Liars Season Premiere is on tonight...now there's some good tv viewing...and the melodramatic soundtrack makes it just that much better...

Back to the blog....let's just get tonight's scoring over with...and make it quick and painless, like pulling off a bandaid...Quantity and quality points will be combined to ease the blows and help mitigate the brute force of Judge Wendy's rigidity....Here we go:
Number 5: Judy and her "pick a better parent" limerick...very clever, and that cleverness allowed Judge Wendy to overlook a few syllable glitches....not that she didn't bring it up...repeatedly...20 points for you, tonight (10 of each..) a darn fine showing..
Number 4: Stacy and her "creme brulee" limerick...this one drove Judge Wendy crazy because "it was sooo close, and then kind of lost it on the last line"...she's a stickler, that judge Wendy..21 points for Stacy...still right in the hunt...
Number 3: John's "Guido sausage" limerick. Very well played...funny, great rhythm, great closer...all good. I'm telling you, John is a limerick savant...seriously....30 points for quality, 14 for quantity...more to come
Number 2: Kim's "Garden of Eden" limerick--nicely done, Kim. Actually Kim had a few very fine limericks--(was a big fan of the crepe suzette one as well.) 50 very big points for you!!
Number 1: John again...the "college/Jamarcus" one--Home Run!! Of course the boys LOVED this one, and it really was excellent...John, you have some legit limerick skills...Kind of freaking, scary, actually....50 points for you for first, 30 from third and 14 quantity points....holy crap, that's 94 big ass points...

The gauntlet has been thrown down, ladies....nicely played, John. The contest is not even half over, so it's still anyone's ball game... now, on to the latest challenge--Challenge Number Five (if I'm not mistaken): please write a sentence comprised of only four letter words AND about sports....
example: "Cubs aces hurl hard orbs into some dirt, over guys' feet, plus near your seat, thus they lose alot." (this was kind of hard for me...bring back the limerick...)  If tonight's contest has taught you anything, following the rules matters...ALOT. Further, when it comes to the sentence type challenges, it's all about the clever...don't just go for length...(because the judges just stop reading...) Good luck and c'mon, ladies...let's bring this one home...

No top ten...start counting those four letter words...

NERDY WORDY: DOUBLE LETTER SCORE

Nice work to all on the rather lengthy sentences full of double letters. I must say, I missed Sue Chiappetta's entry(ies)  She should have been a lock on this one, as her name is full of double letters-Alas, she did not partake in today's fun. Plenty more chances for her to get back into the game.

While I wait for Judge Wendy to give me her official decision regarding those VERY long sentences, allow me to digress just a little....Today I had my annual physical. It was totally fine, but it was one more occasion that highlights the remarkable differences between me and Dave McKeon. When Dave had his annual physical this past December, he starved himself for two weeks and refused to eat anything that would show up in a blood test. He is a big believer in trying to fake out the cholesterol screening. I on the other hand, take the approach of : it is what it is...So, this morning, after taking the kids to the orthodontist (Nate McKeon got his braces off...looking good) I drove through the Burger King (McKeon family ritual--all doctors and dentist appointments are followed by some sort of foodfest) and while getting food for the progeny,  I shamelessly ordered myself a whopper junior with cheese. Yeah, I knew I had my physical later that day, but I was really hungry and a whopper junior really hits the spot. And really? who am I kidding?? Like the doctor can't see pretty quickly that I'm no skinnier or healthier than I was last year?? Whatever. However, I really admire Dave's "can do" attitude and eternal physical optimism....(but I will also add, both my blood pressure and cholesterol are freakishly low for someone who eats as much and as poorly as I do...)

Speaking of can-do attitudes, as I've mentioned, Dave McKeon took the low carb/no carb diet very seriously. (4 Hour Body has become his Bible) He has dropped almost 25 pounds. He is skinnier than when we met and like I said...it's kind of freaking me out.... For a few reason: First of all, suddenly, three of our four sons weigh more than or close to what Dave weighs...What the hell?? How am I supposed to scare them straight when they are now bigger than their old man?  Sure, he can still kick their asses, and of course, we still hold all of the financial power, but the gap is closing and I'm feeling nervous ...Secondly, you know what they say about middle aged men who suddenly start dieting?....Yeah, me too. So, when I brought this up to Dave McKeon, he laughed just crazy hard in my face saying: "Are you kidding me? You think I would ever have a girlfriend on the side??? I can't even afford you. There is no way I'm bringing any other females into my life....even Posey's wardrobe is bleeding me dry. Jesus, the biggest reason why I'm sticking to this diet is that it's cutting down on the grocery bill.. Besides, you're the one who convinced me to go on this diet with you. and read that 1,000 page book..It's not my fault that you quit after chapter 2 and caved on the diet the minute you smelled Poe's onion rings....not that you need to lose any weight.  Oh, shit, don't get mad....See, this, this is why I'd NEVER have a girlfriend..."....and so it goes.... I swear though, between you and me...Dave McKeon has manorexia, He's getting way too skinny.  Though his drop in weight may be directly proportional to the rise in his Notre Dame tuition bill this fall....maybe if I started writing the checks around here, I could drop some middle aged spread, too...naaah, too stressful....

Ok, this just in: Judge Wendy has spoken (called) and the results are in. We are doing total points (quantity and quality together) because I really need to post ASAP and get back to my Nook---it is my new true love.  I am going to have to leave the Nook at home when I go to school because I cannot be trusted to be in the same room with it. It's siren song just sucks me in. ...(shocker that someone with my incredible will power can't stick to a diet...)

Now, I want to be perfectly clear....there were many great sentences entered today, BUT I did warn you that Judge Wendy is a stickler for syntax and clarity (you are lucky that you get to type these little ditties or Judge Wendy would be taking into account your penmanship as well) The sentences actually have to make sense, and despite all male thinking to the contrary, length is not always the most important factor. (You heard it here first).  As a matter of fact, one of the judges blatantly stated: "Once those long ones stop making sense, I just quit reading" And heard from another judge: "The first one that actually makes sense is getting my vote" . So, a little tip to the contestants:  when posting your entries, remember your judges: a control freak, rule following teacher, a skittish, flaky soon to be grad student and two moronic, swamp monster watching, no attention spanned adolescents. Pitch it to their level...and you will reap the rewards.

With that in mind, here are today's top five:
Number 5: Tricia--she just had the one entry, but her mention of Burberry and Tiffany's hit a chord with at least one judge--11 points for her.
Number 4: Brenna/Kim--she had 4 nice entries, and the judges found the one about the grinning doorman the best. 24 very nice points for her, and my eternal sympathy for the car vandalism...What's up with that??
Number 3: John for his last entry--sure, the judges realized that it makes no sense, but they just felt sorry for that "annoying aardvark eating that green apple". 35 total points for him tonight.
Number 2; Judy Pulera...again. The judges loved the Woodstock entry and the moms in the crowd were tempted by the "lip gloss/ ass halling (sic)" entry. 43 big, big points for Judy. Consistency is your middle name.
Number 1: Stacy, stacy, stacy...once again, hitting the home run with one swing of the bat. Everybody voted her "phone etiquette" sentence as their favorite.  I truly do admire her strategy...let's see if it has legs....

And I was just informed by one of the Judges that Suechi just weighed in. Sorry, Sue, the time was up, but if it makes you feel any better, you had Nate's vote, because "hey, I'm voting for Mrs. Chiappetta, because I can actually can understand what she's saying...." Too bad Nate can't tell time....No worries, Sue, there are many more challenges to come. Like the one for tomorrow....(nice segue, eh?) Here it is: In honor of Dave McKeon and his manorexia, and Laurie McKeon and her fooderexia, please write a limerick (or 50--John Heinzmann) about food or some food related topic (that has nothing to do with politics OR Michelle Obama).  Like:
There once was a family of eight
whose meals were chronically late
the mom wouldn't cook
so engrossed in her nook
that the dad dropped a shitload of weight

Or something along those lines. good luck. It's way harder than it looks. (the last line is a killer).

Here are today's top ten:
1. Pawn Stars---have you seen this show?? It's addictive--thanks, a lot Jack McKeon for bringing this to my attention...just what I need, another distraction keeping me from buying my books....
2. Michael Malone's books--they are very long and thus quite the Nook bargain...
3. Whopper Jr. with cheese---hits the spot
4. Olive Juice shoe sale for kids--some great buys, very classic shoes...stock up now for fall
5. The Dallas Mavericks--class move by  Mark Cuban letting the trophy be handed to the original owner
6. Matt Mattuecci--he can kick a forty five yard field goal--it's true, it's on youtube. I saw it..
7. All Girl's Allowed--Annie is working there this summer. Their Executive Director testified before congress today. It's pretty cool. check out their website...100% of all donations go directly to helping women and children in China
8. Bertucci Field Watch--a great value and very cool look...not a bad Father's Day gift for that hip dad
9. Nate McKeon--a fine judge and no longer a brace face--one less McKeon on the orthodontist receivables.
10. Casey Ferraro--saving my bacon this summer. Thanks, Case

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!

Man, what was I thinking?? I certainly started a little shitstorm by bringing politics into this challenge...lesson learned.  However, I do appreciate the candor, and also the respect for each other's view points. (thanks, Judy and Tricia for being so gracious) That's what makes America so great (political tolerance, freedom of speech, the interstate highway system, Nordstrom's shoe department and 24 hour access to microwave bacon).

I am not going to lie to you. The panel of judges went toe to toe on this challenge--lots of discussion, lots of debates....but we finally came to an uneasy truce.  Judge Wendy is a stickler for following the rules and kept us all honest by mentioning....several times, I might add, that the haikus were supposed to be about disgraced politicians (and not just about politicians of a different political persuasion), my other two stalwart judges (Nate and Chris) mostly liked the ones that made them laugh or contained some sort of profanity (adolescent males, go figure) and I am all about the clever. So, I'm telling you, picking tonight's winners was NOT an easy task. Hell, just reading all 100 plus entries thoroughly was not an easy task. But, I must admit, seeing my blog hits jump to over 30,300--was pretty super sweet---priceless...

First, let's score the quantity points--
John--Way to tally up the points!! 57 entries (not counting the ones you deleted...again, to reiterate Sue Chiappetta's query, how bad were the ones you chose NOT to print???) 57 enormous points for you.
Judy: 21 quantity points,  you are killing, AND big props for getting your husband and son to weigh in...this has not gone unnoticed by the judges
Tricia--18 big points, nicely played---and I need to point out just how much I laughed at the haiku about you having too much time on your hands...I was all for giving that some points, but a CERTAIN judge would not allow us to include a haiku that made absolutely no mention of a politician at all in the top five...sorry....
Brenna/Kim--7 for you (counting the one about the track money....I wanted to give that one some props too, but Judge Wendy would not allow it--no politician involved, and a few missing syllables...darn that rule follower...)
Sue--4 quantity points for you--going for the quality angle, admit it
Stacy, Kristi and New Guy--I admire your confidence, banking on the quality points to see you through...it's a legit strategy....

Now, on to the quality. Again, I must remind all contestants that these haikus were to be about disgraced politicians. AND I want to remind all that having a few family and/or friends weigh in will help your cause...
Number 5 (this is a tie because I could not choose--) So 10 points each for Brenna/Kim's "hotdog or human" one and Tricia's "...that's why I'm a mom" one. I really like both of these, and since I was not allowed to award points for the "track money" or "go back to college" ones, this will have to suffice. Kim's total for the night: 17, Tricia's=28. Nice job, ladies
Number 4--and again, this is one that I totally appreciated but the boys did not...Sue Chiappetta's Jenny Sanford "house on Sullivan's Island" haiku....clever to me, and I am a bit of a Jenny Sanford fan because she didn't do the "perp" press conference..."we're working on our relationship" bull that all the other wives pull. She put her kids in the car and drove the hell away from the governor's mansion.. she got a house on Sullivan's Island and wrote a best selling book. I'd like to think that's the way I'd play it out.... 20 points for you, Sue, 24 total points for the day. Well done, especially as you are planning a wedding...
Number 3--John Heinzman's Michelle Obama one...   Thank the brotherhood for this one, as Michelle Obama (though pretty irritating at times) is not a disgraced politician, per se, but the boys would not be denied. They flat out LOVED this one. And it totally made Wendy and I laugh, too. 30 points for this crowdpleaser.---Also, I'd like to point out a few other John favorites--(especially with the boys...."Dear Mr. Obama, you ignorant piece of shit...", the "Peter Barca wearing plaid", the " Joe Union fat cats", all the "zombie" ones, and of course "the crazed poodle". John, you are one haiku prolific son of a gun...--87 whopping points for you tonight!!!---world record...
Number 2--once again, Stacy sends in one and only one entry and scores big: Her Anthony Weiner haiku was masterful, excellent word choice, nice flow, extremely timely and follows all the rules...a big favorite with the more literate judges (Wendy, me...) 40 very big points, bringing your total to 41--I am enjoying your strategy...it will be interesting to see how it all plays out
Number 1--again a consensus vote--Judy Pulera's "Brokeback bathroom" haiku--while it didn't hurt that Judy had a little fan club following, I have to say, this haiku had everything the judges were looking for: disgraced politician, excellent movie reference, clever phrasing, and subtle humor. Judy, not only are you the push up champ, but you have quite the way with  words... 71 great big points for your efforts. I can feel it...This is going to be a race to the finish....keep it coming.

Here is today's big challenge: Write a sentence with as many double letter words as you can. Ex. Matthew's mommy Betty dabbled in bookkeeping while getting her degree in accounting from Mississippi Valley College. (16 sets of double letters)  I'm sure you can all do better than that. Remember, cleverness counts and Judge Wendy is a syntax Nazi, so make sure your sentences make sense....

Good luuuck (sorry, fake double letter words do not count)

A little aside to John, if you and Dave McKeon were in the same room, it would tilt so far to the right that everyone else would fall over...no kidding. Also, the Jesse Jackson one made me LMAO. (not a fan)

No top ten tonight, because I've been typing this up for over three hours now...(yeah, I'm going to do great in grad school....with these cracker jack technical skills....)

NERDY WORDY: DAY TWO

Oh, I love this blog!! Once again, you all came through with wit and wisdom that actually makes me regret ignoring this renewable source of constant entertainment for the last few weeks. Lesson learned. (hopefully).

Now that another YCSMIHK's blog contest is in play, I am back to making the quickest, easiest dinners possible for my family, so that I can get a post up by 7ish...Tonight's masterpiece: Mexican Dip--feel free to steal this easy, peasy meal--This dish actually started out as a legit meal that involved the oven and real ingredients, but as I had more kids and less time, I started cutting every corner and distilled it to it's simplest form.  The upside of this dish is that half of my kids actually like it, and 2 more will eat it. Jackpot...If I can feed five out of six McKeon kids with one meal, it's in the permanent rotation. Moreover, it's one of those meals that can change depending on what ingredients you have (or usually in my case--don't have) in the house. Here is the "recipe" (read this with a sarcastic tone in your head):  Brown up some ground beef or ground turkey in a big skillet. Throw in some salsa and/or canned tomatoes with those Mexican spices (whatever is in the pantry) or if you are one of those people with fresh vegetables at your house, throw in tomatoes, onions, peppers (like I've got time to cut that shit up...I just toss in some Chi-Chi's medium salsa, which I buy by the gallon). Sometimes I add some frozen corn...sometimes I don't. Heat it up, top with some cheese (any kind is fine, trust me, I once threw in a big hunk of Havarti with dill because that's all I had...no one complained). Serve with taco shells, tostito chips, and any extra "toppings" you may have like sour cream, black beans, extra cheese, avocados.... Make some Mexican rice from a box and you look like the fricking Frito bandito or Jose Cuervo (I don't know the name of any Mexican chefs, but you get the point) Seriously, this meal takes like two minutes and only dirties a few dishes...Your welcome.

Now for the results of yesterday's Nerdy Wordy Challenge:  First of all, I commend each and everyone of you for your efforts. Way to go. Next, you all need to get your friends, family, brokers, parole officers, whatever to weigh in because I cannot make these tough judgment calls on who's entry is the best on my own....Please, for all of our sakes, get some friends to talk up your entries. Please, I'm begging you. I assure you that I am easily swayed. A few positive comments on the blog and you can be a winner...So, because I am a big, vacillating wuss...(they all sounded good to me) I called in an expert to judge today's entries. My sister Wendy---she may not be able to pick light fixtures or paint colors, but she sure has a ton of opinions regarding pangrams (thank you, Kim Pechous, for that little tidbit....I honestly did not know that these little gems had a name) Wendy will now be part of a panel of guest judges that I will be relying on for advice. My expert/sister told me that I am not "objective" enough and am judging too much on content and humor and not enough on quality of entry....She's probably right...(and she has that summer house, so I will totally  let her boss me around--it's summer and I want an invite...) I also had young Nate McKeon peruse the entries. He weighed in as well...Bottom line here: if you don't like the results of tonight's judging...Don't blame me.

No, seriously, all the entries were good. Actually, some were too good. Wendy did a little checking and found some of your sentences on the world wide web. She is not as lenient with the whole "cheating" thing as I am. She truly values "original work" (darn teacher training) and that became a big issue with her in regard to tonight's winners...Also, she was a big fan of brevity and sentences that made sense. I am a big fan of the ones that made me laugh. So, we hit some compromises. Here are the results:

First, the quantity points:
John: 7, Tricia 3, Sue 4, Brenna/Kim 7, Jamarcus 2, Judy 2, Brian (or is it Sara again?), Stacy, JoeL, and Kristi 1 point.

Now, the quality points--because Wendy, Nate and I  (ok, mostly Wendy and I) couldn't agree on the top three, we decided to go to the top five entries, awarding 50 points to the best entry, 40 to the next best, 30 and so on. More points, more fun, more chances to win.
Number 5 on tonight's best of is Suechi's entry about the "ten day time zapper". Nice job, Sue. It's pertinent, timely, includes all the necessary letters and is not a total run on sentence. 10 big points for you, plus your 4 quantity points gives you a nice total of 14 points for today. Well done.
Number 4 on tonight's "best of" list is JoeLakens entry about "being shamed into a quiz" and mentioning an "ex-wife Julie". This was one of my big favorites. Wendy ranked it high as well, and would have put it even higher if  Joe's wife's real name was Julie. Nice work, Joe. great to have you in the contest. 21 points for you tonight. Keep up the good work.
Number 3 (and Wendy and I almost came to blows over this one...) is Kristi's entry. Wendy thought it was too long. I had to give it major points for dead on accuracy. I was laughing so hard I almost cried. ---
----Big Aside:  Dave McKeon is just realizing the personal magnitude for him of me being gone for four weeks. I must admit, when I applied for this MNA program, I thought that it would be sort of Kumbayaish, where we sit around and discuss esoteric nonprofit stuff and I could kind of sneak home a lot.  Then I got my schedule and we have class SIX DAYS A WEEK!! And I heard from a woman who is a year ahead of me in the program that it's kind of major and there is a ton of group projects that get done on the weekends. Then, she told me that everyone who is in the program lives in the dorms because they study together...all the time. (I am WAY too old for this) So, I signed up for on campus housing and am living in a dorm....(yeah, this could be a huge mistake, but I didn't want to be labeled as the "high maintenance bitchy one who's too good to live in a dorm"....at least not right away) The good news is I don't have a roommate, the bad news is I have to share a bathroom....Also, I will only be able to come home on Saturday nights and have to be back by early Monday morning.  When Dave heard this, he kind of panicked. Needless to say, he has booked rooms at the Morris Inn for several nights this summer. He was really banking on that whole "sleeping with a coed" thing.  That's why Kristi's entry is so timely...and so funny...at least to me.  Thirty one points for you, Kristi. Way to go.
Number Two: Stacy Spracklin's "zipping the junk" entry. Again, it made me laugh a ton, and Wendy loved the brevity. This was classic Stacy. One fine entry and she nails it. I guess somebody is gunning for a matching set of jewelry. You are off to a fine, fine start. Congrats and enjoy those 41 big points.
And finally, the Number One Entry of the day, a consensus pick of all three judges: Judy Pulera's Arnold Schwarznegger entry.  In all honesty, Judy, both of your entry were super...timely, relevant, logical, brief and funny. Actually, they were so good that Wendy made me google the Arnold one to make sure that it was not stolen off of the internet.  I did try to explain to her that there is probably not a huge demand for Arnold Schwarznegger pangrams, but she wanted to be sure.....I had no doubt. Excellent work, as always, by Judy Pulera.  Why am I not surprised? A whopping 52 points for you. Way to get out of the blocks fast...

So, once again, people, we have ourselves a contest. This was a great first day, but there are nine more challenges to go. And remember, you can score on quantity AND quality. AND get your posses to chat up your entries. The pressure of being a judge will soon be getting to Wendy, too. Let's get a few more voices in the mix....

Now, here is today's challenge: Write a haiku (or twenty) about a disgraced politician (or twenty). (I actually thought this challenge up before Judy's pangram,....I really did) For those of you who forget, a haiku is that little Japanese poem that has three lines. The first and last lines contain five syllables, the middle line has seven. That's it. For example:
Oh, Mister Spitzer
Eighty Grand on prostitutes
Now on CNN?

You all get it and I am sure you can do better than that hackish example above. There are so many disgraced politicians to choose from....and because tomorrow is Saturday, (no questions will be posted tomorrow), you have until 5pm Sunday to post up all of your entries. C'mon, John, Tricia needs that necklace to get her through the summer....It's still anybody's ball game.

Special aside to Tricia: Sure, come join me in my dorm room....I could use the company, as I know that I will alienate my classmates with my poor attitude and cynical outlook. Also, maybe you will know how to do my homework, or how to work in a group with others....I fear these may be difficult for me....BECAUSE I STILL HAVEN'T BOUGHT MY BOOKS YET... or turned in my health form. Really, does anyone have shot records from their childhood? I know I don't.

Today's Top Ten:

1. www.missingmoney.com --I actually found over 3 grand that we left in an escrow account from when we lived in Cleveland (obviously we couldn't get out of there fast enough). No lie. And it's super easy to do... This covers a tiny portion of my tuition and a few incidentals...(shoes, tutoring)
2. Godiva's salted caramel candy bars--these are incredibly good. (Have you all figured out that I have given up on the no carb diet?? Dave "Spartan" McKeon is still fighting the good fight and has lost 25 pounds...I am not happy about it, because now I'm the fatty in our relationship and I don't like it...)
3. The Nook--just bought a color nook. AND nook insurance.  It's pretty sweet, but I'm trying not to get too attached as you know that this nook will meet a similar fate to the kindle...
4. Benadryl--I really did get sun poisoning and benadryl works wonders to control the ugly rash...and seems to take the edge off of the day...This may be just what you are looking for, Tricia...
5. Brooks Brothers cashmere/silk cardigan sweaters--these are on sale and are worth every single penny.--really, really soft 
6.  Filson belts--these are total classics--check them out at filson.com 
7. That New Updated Preppy Handbook-- I know that it has been out for a while, but I picked up the Brooks Brothers addition when I was in there a few weeks ago and it totally cracked me up. Hit a little too close to home at times, but a very funny read. 
8.  JCrew's women's linen and cotton cropped pants--a versatile pant for the summer and comes in great colors
9. Judge Wendy
10. Pangrams--who knew how much fun they could be? Who knew they had an actual name??

That's all for today,  Please go get your haikus on and try to please Judge Wendy--she's a bit of a stickler, so form counts.

IT'S ON!!

Man, it's so hard to keep up with this blog when the sun is shining. I leave for school two weeks from tomorrow, and am trying to cram an entire summer's worth of fun into these next few days. I've totally conceded "Class Valedictorian" and "Most Likely to Succeed", but I still think I have a great shot at "Best Dressed" and "Best Tan".(I have been frying like bacon for the last few days, I'm not going to lie to you..I think I have sun poisoning ) Thank God it's only 45 degrees outside today (nice weather for June 9th), so I can devote myself to this blog without missing any melanoma enhancing rays.

Today is the day that I introduce the next contest. I know, I can hardly wait either. It's a really, really good one, but before I lay out all of the details, I am going to insert one of my favorite old columns--the graduation one. It's only fitting that during this commencement season, I trot out these sage words of advice: (I meant to do this over the weekend, to coincide with Jack's graduation, but--like so many other things I was hoping to get done...it just didn't happen) Now, I'm going to rerun this column AND start the new contest all in one--ambitious, yes, but rather efficient. So, here is the column:

As colleges across the nation hold their graduation ceremonies, many notables are giving inspirational commencement addresses.  And though I have yet to be formally (or informally for that matter) asked to speak to this year’s newly minted graduates, I, too, have some solid words of wisdom.

To the Class of 2008,

Hurray for you.  You’ve made it. You’ve climbed the mountain, written the thesis, gotten the sheepskin, and repaired all of the nail holes in your student apartment with toothpaste in the futile hopes of getting your security deposit back.  Way to go. But now, as you enter the cold, cruel world of adulthood, with its myriad responsibilities of car payments, student loans, insurance premiums, and utility bills, I’d like to give you a few words of advice.

1. You will never be any smarter than you are today.  Trust me, never again in your natural life will you be so sure that you have all the answers and be so willing to share them with others.  Right now, today, you know it all.  And that’s great, because this is your special graduation day, but starting tomorrow…

2. Buy a belt.  Low slung pants may be all the rage on your college campus, but in the real world, the world that has absolutely no interest in your prowess at beer pong, no one wants to see your butt cleavage, plumber’s crack, paisley boxers, back tattoo, muffin top or thong.  Pull up your pants and put on a belt.  While you’re at it, pick up some decent shoes.  Unless you are embarking on a lucrative career as a life guard, flip flops are unacceptable in the work place.  (or the White House)

3. Along those same lines, lose the ball cap, skull cap, stocking cap, doo rag or any other funky head attire.   Believe it or not, back in the day, it was considered very poor form for a gentleman to wear a hat indoors.  While that bastion of decorum has long gone by the wayside (totally due to major league sports merchandising), it is still inappropriate to wear that Cubs cap to the office (possible exception if  you just signed a major league contract –though if it’s with the Cubs, you’ll be way  too embarrassed to wear the hat)

4. Get a job.  I may be stating the obvious, but jobs pay money and money buys food.  The days of some campus employee in a hair net placing food on your cafeteria tray are over.  All that Easy Mac is on your tab now.  And if you ever want to be able to buy the wine that comes in a bottle, rather than a box, you’re going to need a job. 

5. Show up every day.  Contrary to popular belief, there is no “three cut” policy in the work force.  Your employer expects you there every day, so unless you have a written note from the Center for Disease Control, or your father owns the company, go to work.   Also, FYI, there is no spring break, summer vacation, Christmas break or senior skip day.  And sorry, it’s too late to switch your major to education.

6. Be on time.  Now that you are a full fledged adult, your mom, roommate, boyfriend or parole officer is not responsible for getting you out of bed.   Buy an alarm clock, program your phone, get a dog or work the night shift.  Nothing is more impressive to an employer than showing up every day, on time.

7. Put in a full day’s work.  No matter how boring, tedious, repetitive or hard.  This is why they call it work.  If it was big, super fun every day, they wouldn’t have to pay you.  And sad to say, when you put in your full day’s work, no one is going to throw you a party, hand you a medal or give you a trophy.  You get a pay check. Be grateful.

8. Listen way more than you talk.  I know, you’re a college grad and you just aced your integral logistics final, not to mention that B+ you got in statistics, but you should probably wait until the ink on your company ID dries before telling the woman who’s been running the shipping department for the last 18 years that she’s doing it all wrong.

9. Oh, by the way, that money that is missing from your pay check is for taxes, and yes, you have to pay them.  You are now footing the bill for roads, schools, safety and the national defense, not to mention a lot of pork barrel and boondoggle. Stings a little, doesn’t it?  Welcome to the club. 

10. Finally, say thank you.  Many, many people have sacrificed a lot to get you to this day.  Your parents, siblings, teachers and friends all have earned a stake in your future.  You’re one of the lucky ones.  You’ve made it through.  Now get out there and make us proud.

Yeah, it's a few years old, but still words to live by. Feel free to share this with your nearest and dearest.

Now, on to the BIG, BIG, BIG CONTEST!! This is the real deal and you do NOT want to miss out. I've spent the last few weeks (ok, days...ok, hours...ok, like twenty minutes) thinking up a contest that will only take two weeks, that does not lend itself to cheating, (although I'm sure those of you who want to cheat will find a way...) that requires some thinking skills but not tooo much, that is easy (ish) for me to score/judge, that will allow for some audience participation (this means you, Joe Laken) and that is entertaining...especially for me. (and if it drives a little traffic to the blog, all the better)

So, with all of that in mind, here is the contest: Every day for the next 10 days (Starting today, but not on Sundays) I will give you all a literary (using that terms VERY loosely) challenge. It will be some sort of sentence, word, letter or story challenge. Each day, the challenge will be different and you will all have until five o'clock the next day to submit your best effort. You can submit as many entries as you want per day as long as they are submitted during the daily time period, and you will get one point per submission, as long as they meet the daily challenges requirements.  I will then choose the best three entries per contest (per day) and award points accordingly:  (I'm still working on the point scale, because the best efforts need to score as high or higher than the most entries, and I'm not sure how many entries people like John Heinzmann will submit...) This should appeal to all of you word nerds--all you folks who play that "Words with Friends" game and those of you who consider yourselves wordsmithy. The judging is primarily based on following the rules of that day's contest, and then on cleverness and the ability to make me laugh. However, there is another component: you can get others to comment on your entries and I will take those comments into consideration as I award points. I mean it. I get kind of stressed out judging you guys, and if others way in with their opinions, I will be easily led in that direction, because then I am not the bad guy...

At the end of the 10 days (like on Thursday, June 23rd) I will announce the winner. And this time, and I mean this with all of my heart, THERE WILL ONLY BE ONE WINNER--just one, I'm not kidding. It's been a super expensive spring (Charleston, London, Scotland, graduations, new shorts for the ever expanding McKeon boys waistlines, --Chris came home from college twenty pounds heavier--a few new pairs of Burberry pumps for me, not to mention that sweet LongChamp suitcase and four Notre Dame tuition bills) and the generally amiable Dave McKeon has no interest whatsoever in funding little prizes for my bloggy friends...so, here is the prize--I already bought it, and it is pretty awesome--You remember how much you all were loving the Tiffany bead bracelet?? Well, now I've got the necklace and it's better than you can imagine. That's the prize--the beautiful bead necklace, which will match nicely with the bracelet for those of you who won one last time, (Stacy, John) or looks equally amazing on its own, (everyone else)  I hope you all understand the rules, and please continue to stay flexible as I always need to work the kinks out as these contests unfold.

So, here is tonight's contest:  Please make a sentence (funny, timely, clever, silly....) using every letter in the alphabet---(yes, you can use some letters more than once) You know, like the old typing sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog".  or  "Crazy Laurie just might be quivering as she keeps failing to do her tax homework" .  See, that's not so hard. (ok, that took me a little longer than I thought, but I'm sure you are all way better at this than I am) You have until 5pm tomorrow to submit all of your entries. I will review them, review the comments from all of your cool friends, score the entries and then tell you what the next challenge is ....it will be something kind of similar to tonight's challenge, and will always involve words. Any questions?? I hope not. Good luck and I know  I will get some killer entries by tomorrow at five. Please don't let me down. I need a few good laughs before I really do flunk out of school. (Seriously, one person in my class already did some big old spread sheet with our whole summer's home work assignments....I have yet to buy the books....but I do have this killer tan... and some dynamite shoes...)

So, go to it...It's on...Best contest ever...

Special aside to Judy -- I am officially a boot camp drop out...the thought of getting up at 4:50 for my last few weeks of summer is just unbearable. Once you got hurt and Beth stopped coming, I kind of stopped liking it...And, who am I kidding?? I haven't lost a single pound since I've started bootcamp three summers ago....

No top ten today--just go think up some sentences for me....thanks

TEAM BALDY

Obviously, without a contest I cannot be trusted to ever post on this blog. I keep thinking I will get around to it,and then, something comes up that makes me lose my focus, and then I get tired and then I just don't post....same old, ugly, procrastinating story. I'd apologize, but it seems so insincere, when I never actually change my slacker behavior.  I guess for now, it is what it is.

Today is the last day of school for the McKeon progeny and I couldn't be more excited. I mean it...I LOVE SUMMER.  love it, love it, love it.  The pressure is off and the schedule eases up a bit. Because of my own personal "Back to School" plans, my summer will be quite short (like three and a half weeks) but right now, that's ok with me. Once we get through Jack's graduation this weekend, I am officially off the clock for 20 days...OK, there is some sort of school assignments that I keep hearing about, but until I actually buy my books, I don't think I can get much traction there...(Guess who is NOT going to be class valedictorian??, or voted most likely to succeed??)

Today we're busting my mom out of her "rehab" center...(it's really a nursing home, but we keep calling it a rehab center, so she feels more positive about the whole experience...didn't really work, but she did stick with the program). She's rehabbed herself back into fighting shape and now will be returning to her apartment. Fingers crossed that all goes well. And she regains enough mobility and sense to occasionally stop by my house this summer while I am gone and make sure that it has not been converted into Frat Row, and if she could throw in a load of whites, that'd be even better.

Now for today's topic: Team Baldy...The boys' tennis team once again has shaved their heads in support of Sarcoma Research. You all recall the beautiful photos of last year's team, headlined by Chris "Six Flags Old Guy" McKeon. Well, here is this year's version. (Jack is the big one in the middle, Nate is next to him. Pete is the punky one on the far right--they do not look good...but it's for a good cause)

I must confess, it is quite impressive to me that these high school kids are super gung ho to shave off their hair for a good cause. (just about the whole team went total full on bald for this great cause). I also must confess that I nicked up way more scalps this year than I did last year. (Sorry, Matt Mattuecci, no one will see the scar from that big gash I gave you once your hair grows back). 

For those of you who do not know the full back story, please allow me to fill you in. About a year and a half ago, Jeff Collins--a great kid who is a good friend of Chris' and was a UW-Madison freshman last year, was diagnosed with Sarcoma. His little brother Pete is on the tennis team with various and sundry McKeon boys. Jeff started chemo close to the beginning of tennis season last year, and the 2010 tennis team, captained by Chris "I wear fake mustaches during matches" McKeon, in solidarity with Jeff and in an effort to raise some money for Cancer research, shaved their heads--baldy shave with a real live razor, not just a buzz cut. I must point this out for a few reason: 1. chemo leaves people bald, not just buzzed. 2. baldy shave is way uglier than buzz cut shave--human hair, even super short hair covers up a lot of bumpy, disfigured scalps. 3. it takes FOREVER to shave to the skin, like an hour per head. (head shaving tip: use soap and water, first go with the grain, then against it.) 4. I did most of the head shaving and 5. I am not a trained professional.  Last year's team, with their skin head look, raised about $3600 which they donated to the University of Wisconsin  Carbone Cancer Center Sarcoma Research Fund. (their donation actually helped establish this fund, as Sarcoma is a rather rare cancer and research money was scarce)

Flash forward to Spring of 2011:  Jeff Collins is cancer free, he returned to Madison last August, completed the entire school year, aced his classes, has a full head of hair, and continues to kick Chris McKeon's ass on the golf course. The tennis team, this year captained by Jack "the hair on my face is way longer than the hair on my head" McKeon, once again wanted to show their support for sarcoma research and celebrate Jeff's great results. A few weeks ago (yeah, yeah, I know. I should have posted this whole deal like the night we shaved heads, but I didn't...so, sue me) the team once again gathered in the always lovely McKeon garage for the great hair massacre 2011. (There is a great picture of Jeff's mom and fellow head shaver Patty Collins and I with the team surrounding a big, scary, ugly mound of shaved hair, but I can't figure out how to turn it into a jpeg thing and insert it in the blog--your welcome, because looking at that pile of hair will make you nauseous).  Jeff even made a guest appearance to view this year's head shaving and shoot some hoops with Chris, flaunting his full head of hair. So, as the school year winds down, the boys asked if I could use the power of this blog (please do not miss the intended irony of the phrase "power of the blog") to help them drum up some final donations. I know that they've hit many of you up already, but for those of you who escaped/ignored/ducked Team Baldy and have had a  crisis of conscience, here's your chance to make amends:  Please go online and make a donation at :  http://our.uwhealth.org/page/outreach/view/Sarcoma/sjca. What a great way to kick off summer and support a great cause. A huge thank you to those who have already donated and a huge thanks in anticipation of those of you who respond to the pleas of some bald headed adolescents. 

Enjoy these first few days of summer break. And I really do promise to post again soon. (I swear, I mean it) I  am also planning a new, quick, three week contest to pump me up before I go back to the life of a co-ed. Stay tuned. 

Today's Top Ten: 

1. Restoration Hardware outlet--I asked Dave McKeon to stop by there to pick up some full size sheets for Posey's new bed, and he came home with a leather sofa...so then we had to go back and buy a new rug to match the sofa...the new lamps were just a happy side benefit. 
2. Hummus and Pita from the Muffin Tin in Michigan...or from somewhere else... tastes like summer.
3. Jack Rogers new skimmer flats--I got the navy ones and lo and behold, Jack Rogers new looks were featured in Town and Country this month....
4. Dirk Nowitski --he's a crazy hard worker, modest and isn't mired in scandal
5. Vitamin water zero--my new beverage of choice...trying to kick the Diet Dr. Pepper habit
6. Adele--I know I'm coming late to this party, but she really is great
7. "Give in To Me"--from the Country Strong sound track--Annie McKeon made me a CD with some songs on it and I'm addicted to this one. 
8. Brooks Brothers' new line for girls--classic looks, nice price point, and the tennis stuff is adorable
9. Nate and Jack McKeon--playing doubles in the state tennis tournament tonight--it's kind of a fluke. (they are not very good) Trust me, they will be home by early tomorrow morning to help clean out the garage for Jack's graduation party-Works for everyone
10. Our beach--somehow, once all the snow and ice melted this spring, the McKeons ended up with bonafide beach right on Lake Michigan...it is a true miracle and we could not be more excited. We realize it is most likely temporary, but for now, we are loving it...thank you, global warming.

Have a great night, thanks for supporting Sarcoma research.