There are only two challenges left, my friends, and to be quite frank, there may only be two challengers left...I did a little high level math this weekend and tallied every one's total scores. (nice practice for grad school) As Brenna so accurately pointed out, John and Judy are battling to the finish. However, I would like to give a little lecture to our friend Stacy....You are killing me. You are like the Pete McKeon of this challenge...all of the potential to win big, but only willing to do the bare minimum...(Pete is the king of the 93.5 average...just enough for an A, just enough to keep me off of his ass...) One entry a day, Stacy?....Really?? You can't muster up a few more sentences each night? I'm not asking for the Magna Carta here...just a few freaking lines...Your stuff is top shelf, but you are getting killed in the quantity category. Judy and John are prolific and they are cleaning up just with sheer volume. You're an engineer for crying out loud, you should know that this is a numbers game....Ok, sorry about the tirade...you know I'm only saying this because I love you, Stacy. So, in order to level it out, and make things just a little more interesting, for these last two challenges. I am only awarding the top three places...then, when Stacy sends in her solo perfect entry, she won't be penalized. However, quantity points will still be awarded, so those who make the effort will get their due...(you have no idea how hard I work to make this all fair..ish.) And in the name of fairness, I am warning you, the last challenge, which will be posted tomorrow, is totally awesome and will go for ginormous points. So, for everyone, stay in the hunt and stay tuned....
Before posting the results from the last challenge and giving the scoring status report, I'm going to fill you in on my Happy Father's Day...but first, let me tell you what I got for Mother's Day...NOTHING--that's right, no one gd thing, except a pretty cool vase made out of paper from Posey (complete with paper flowers) and some toast in bed, also made by Posey. The rest of the shids did nothing, that's right...nothing....and they wonder why Posey is my favorite. Like it's even close....Sure, I wasn't expecting anything too awesome, coming off of the trip to Great Britain and the Longchamp palooza, but still, a little something for the effort would have been nice...whatever....
Now, flash forward to Dave McKeon's Happy Father's Day: first Posey and I whipped up a gourmet high protein breakfast, then, while Dave sat in the big leather chair and watched the US Open (won by my future son in law Rory McIlroy---Rory, please call Annie McKeon today...her mom will make her marry you) his faithful wife trekked to Sam's Club to stock up for the month she will be gone. I saw both Stacy AND Tina Lampe there. Sam's Club...the place to be on Father's Day...and they can both attest to the massive amounts of total and absolute shit in my cart(s). It was a two flat bed, one cart, four figure trip...Who knew bagel bites were so expensive? For the next month my kids will be living on bottled water, green tea, diet soda, bagel bites (millions of them), bacon, kit kats, snickers, twix, fruit by the foot, microwave popcorn, chips, bananas and strip steak. (Maybe it was a mistake taking Chris and Pete with me to "pick out" the food) Oh, and I bought some eggs (like 5 dozen) for Dave "4 hr body" McKeon.
Then, Dave McKeon went out and played golf with his four sons, (only nine holes because after a while their shidiocy starts to get on his nerves...understandably so) while his wife put away ALL the junk food and he came home for a nice steak dinner (high protein all the way). Then he opened (using this term loosely because the boys refuse to wrap gifts and just put them in a big bag with a bow on it) many fine, fine gifts including but not limited to two golf shirts from St. Andrews, some shorts that actually fit his slimmer physique, some Brooks Brothers non iron shirts (can never get enough of these essentials), and some golf stuff....I always come through. Once again, wife of the year...Happy Father's Day...
Now, enough about us, on to the challenge. Nice job by John and Judy, many great allusions and just a plethora of entries. These two really cleaned up tonight, because of the quantity of entries. Please, Stacy, Sue, Tricia and Brenna, don't let this become a two man competition. The points will keep increasing for these last two challenges....Let's jump on this. OK, enough with the rambling lectures, let's score this bad boy...(In the interest of full disclosure, Judge Wendy didn't like any of these allusions, and to be honest, she hated the whole challenge and kept saying things like: "I don't get this one" "What is Kodachrome?" "Why would there be zeros at a Star Trek Convention?"....so the judging is a little skewed...sorry..).
Quantity points--remember, these were doubled: Judy 68, John 20, Tricia 8, Stacy 2...on to quality
Number 10: John for the Junior College/Obama entry...10 points
Number 9: John for the Catholic School one--20 points--I'm feeling your pain--20 points
Number 8--Judy for the "McGill is the Harvard of Canada". I don't know why, but it made me laugh...30 points
Number 7--Judy for the 7th grade nun/Sybil one--40 points
Number 6--John for the "more zeros than a Star Trek convention.." I thought this was VERY funny--50 points
Number 5: Judy for the "McKeon Sanford and sons" one--60 points
Number 4: Tricia for the "Carl/Giuliani's kid" one--70 points
Number 3 Judy for the "smoking weed/Pat Boone/snoop dog one...for some reason this made me laugh pretty hard--80 points
Number 2:: John for rhe "Calc 3/Louis" entry--super well done and way to come full circle with the blog. 90 big points for you
Number 1: Stacy, Stacy, Stacy--everyone LOVED the Martha Stewart/Laurie McKeon allusion...it was flat out great and gave you...100 points...102 with your doubled up quantity points...just think how many points you could have had if you'd only had a few more entries....ok, ok, I'll stop already...
Now for today's totals AND real time total competition totals thus far:
Judy: 278 for today--a new blog record and just a shit load of points bringing your total to--746!!! and you are currently in first place....
John: 190 for today, excellent work AND you are right behind Judy with 730 points...this is going to be a flat out duel...I'm excited to see how this cliff hanger ends
Stacy: 102 for tonight and 463 total--you are still in this hunt, sister. Trust me...the next two challenges are HUGE and will be judged accordingly
Tricia: 78 for tonight and 441 total points--again, still well within striking distance. Keep it up.
Kim/Brenna: no entry for tonight but 301 total points--you are still in this and have been a valiant competitor. stay with me, here
Sue: 110 total points---I'm going to have to level with you...it's going to be tough for you to take this, but not impossible....big points will be awarded for being first in the next two challenges, Two first place entries, and that necklace is yours....the real question is: how badly do you want it???
Kristi and JoeL: you both started strong, but then faded....you have 31 and 21 points respectively...not an impossible victory, but .....(I should make some sort of allusion here, but really can't muster one up, as I've moved on to the next challenge...) So, that's the tally board as of tonight. The next two challenges will make or break the contest for you all. I'm on the edge of my seat....
Here is tonight's challenge: Create an acrostic poem (one of those that spells out a name going down and then has a line starting with each letter describing the name) about either a 50s, 60s 70s ish lounge singer OR a Catholic saint. (with all the great info you learned in the Holy and Lowly contest, this should be a piece of cake) Here is an example:
L-oves sequins
I-nteraction with the fans made him beloved
B-orn in West Allis, Wisconsin
E-lizabeth the Queen was a fan
R-epublican, believe it or not
A-crimonious split from his "body guard/boyfriend"
C-andelabra was his signature prop
E-ntertainer who was paid the most during the 50s-70s (according to wikipedia)
There you go. This shouldn't be too hard, ...should it, Stacy? Remember, Judge Wendy is ready for something really clever, as she was none to happy with my last challenge. Let's make her happy....
I'd do a top ten, but I've GOT to get this thing posted...I've got some homework to do...
B – ar Mitzvah for Greg
ReplyDeleteI - mitates
L – ounge Singers
L – oud and proud
M - elodramatic
U - nfortunate gig locations
R – onstadt melody got him decked
R – ed Velour
A - rtic Show
Y – aps to audience during songs
T – ommy Scott and the Senators
ReplyDeleteO – ver Christmas doesn’t shave
M – istress of the Dark (Elvira) had affair
J – erky Boys
O - bnoxious
N - Non è normale – Italia ver. It’s Not Unusual
E - ntertainer
S - o go and powder your cute little pussycat nose!
B – utch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid Soundtrack 1969
ReplyDeleteU – nusual chord progression
R – rhythmic patterns are syncopated
T – V commercials with wife Angie Dickerson for Martini & Rossi
B – ond, Casino Royale score in 67
A - ccompanied many singers
C - omposer
H – al David was his lyricist
A - rmy
R –ear is wher he said he was hit in a Geico Commercial
A – rthur’s Theme with Christopher Cross
C – onsectutive number 1’s in the UK
H – orns were his favorite especially the Flugelhorn
H –its were for mostly film and television
ReplyDeleteE – nrico is his real name
N – otes for Peter Gun Theme were his
R – CA records for 20 years an 60 Albums
Y –es he wrote the Baby Elephant Walk
M – ail Theme on David Letterman
A –cademy Awards back to back for Moon River and Days of Wine and Roses
N – BC Nightly news theme
C – leveland Ohio was his home town
I – talian in case you were not sure
N – ix was given to his score for Hitchcock film Frenzy
I – nspired many of today’s lounge musicians, 1996 collaboration tribute CD recorded
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ReplyDeleteD-ead
ReplyDeleteE-verybody Loves Somebody
A-lcoholic
N-evada
M-affia
A-ctor
R-at Pack
T-hat’s Amore
I-talian
N-ewton’s competition
T-heologist
ReplyDeleteE-ducated
R-oman Catholic
E-thereal
S-panish
A-vila
Love the Dean Martin one!
ReplyDeleteSt.. Paul of The Cross ( for my husband, Paul)
ReplyDeleteP- raying is what he spent his time doing
A- lways spent time Blessing the Sacraments
U- nanimously elected first general
L- uke Dane was his father
O- rdained a priest
F- rancis is his middle name
T- o his companions he was a role model
H- is body lies in a Basilica
E- lected first superior religious general
C- rucifix was his book
R- enounced offer of marriage
O- vadodara was where he was burned at
S- chool for boys was where he studied in his early years
S- ociety of religious cares is where he studied at
St. Vincent Ferrer (for my first son, Vince)
ReplyDeleteV- alencia was where he was born
I- n Vannes is where he died
N- ever ate meat
C- onstantia Miquer was his mother
E- nvy from others drew him slander
N- oble pious family he grew up in
T- aught philosophy
F- east day celebrated on April 15
E- ducated at Valencia
R- eader of philosophy
R- ecalled back to Valencia
E- ffective speaker
R- ecovered from an illness to continue mission work
St. John of Sahagun(for my second son, John)
ReplyDeleteJ- une 11, 1479 is when he died
O-f novices he was a master
H-ad a serious reputation
N- oted preacher
O- drained in 1445
F-agenda monastery is where he lived
S-ahagun, Spain is where he was born
A- ugustinian preacher was his reputation
H- e became an Augustinian friar in 1463
A- lso known for his gift of miracles
G- onzales de Castallo was his last name
U- niversity of Salamonca is where he studied
N- aturally compelled to help the needy
B-ack in the U.S.S.R.
ReplyDeleteI-t's still rock and roll to me
L-eave a tender moment alone
L-eningrad
Y-ou may be right
J-ust the way you are
O-nly the good die young
E-asy money
L-ullabye(Goodnight,My Angel)
J-ordan is the River where he dunked Jesus
ReplyDeleteO-ld Testament prophecy
H-ebrew יוחנן המטביל
N-ot liked much by Herod
T-he Forerunner is his name in the Eastern Orthodox Church
H-ades descent among his accomplishments
E-lijah was his true identity according to Gnosticism and Shirley MacLaine
B-eheaded and bones were later burned
A-ssyrian Church of the East
P-atron saint of Puerto Rico
T-he decapitation cloth of St. John is kept at the Aachen Cathedral
I-slam describe John and Jesus are virtually identical in the Qur'an
S-alome, Herod’s stepdaughter requested his head on a platter
T-radition also teaches us that St. John holds a position of honor among the Saints second to that of Mary, the mother of Jesus
T-itle given by Greeks to Mary, Mother of Jesus
ReplyDeleteH-ail Mary
E-leusa icon
O-rigen (d. 254) is often cited as the earliest author to use Theotokos for Mary
T-emple was a common hiding spot for her boy
O-ur Lady
K-ύριος είναι μαζί σου (Lord is with thee)
O-Octave of Christmas and the
S-olemnity of Mary as Mother of God are celebrated on the same day
Paul the Apostle ( for my third son, Paulie)
ReplyDeleteP- aul was beheaded in Rome
A- postle Paul regarded himself as living a near perfect life
U- underwent purification
L- eader of first generation of Christians
T- arsus was where he was born
H-brew name was Saul
E-thnically was Jewish
A-mong the early Christian leaders
P-aul traveled by ship
O-pposed homosexual activity
S-hared Hebrew name with King Saul
T- he second most important person in Christianity
L- etters that he wrote were vital
E-normous influence on Christianity
St. Judith of Prussia (and one me, mother)
ReplyDeleteJ- udith was married at 15
U-under her influence woman were inspired
D- ied if a fever
I- n her heart she prayed for the non- believers
T- huringia,Germany her birthplace
H-husband was a good man
O- f non- believers she wanted to convert them
F- amily was wealthy
P-russia people did not know she was wealthy
R-aised children alone because her husband died young
U-ltimately her goal was be live a life like St. Elizabeth of Hungary
Forgot the rest of Judith of Prussia
ReplyDeleteS-suddenly her husband died
S- old everything and moved to Prussia
I- n 1260 she died
A- lways generous to the poor
St. Victoria ( for my only sister, Vicki)
ReplyDeleteS- hrine of the Holy Relics in Maria Stein, Ohio and Rignano, Italy
T- offices to death in 301 in prison
V- enerated as a saint and martyr by the Catholic Church
I-mprisoned and starved, both she and her sister
C- inverted in her youth to Christianity
T- ribulano or Albitina was her place of execution
O- n her wedding day, she leaped from a window in her parent's home
R- efused an arranged marriage to a young nobleman
I-nspiring exam ample held up for those who are lukewarm in attending Mass
A-nulinus, the judge in her trial, tried to convince her to compromise, but she would'n't
St. Richard of Chichester( for my brother, Rick)
ReplyDeleteS-hrine for Richard was created in1276
T-aught at the Dominican House in Orkans; ordained there in 1243
R- chard of Chichester and Richard de Wycherley are two of his names
I-insisted on strict adherence to discipline among the clergy.
C-anonized in 1262
H-enry III, King of England, machinated against Richard's appointment as
Chancellor.
A-ided the poor and denounced corruption of the Church and royal court
R-efused his brother's estate to study for the priesthood.
D-over is where he died, at a home for poor priests.
St. Robert Southwell(Robert is my brother Jeff's middle name"...there was no Dt. Jeffery
ReplyDeleteR-emarkable advocate for the poor
O-rdained a priest
B- orn in Norfolk
E- ntered Jesuit order
R- ome is where Robert lived
T-heology was his love
S-tudied Church history
O-ne of 40 martyrs from England
U-ltimately foundation for Christ
T-ybum, where he was martyred
H- is life was devoted to Scripture
W- Peking to help the poor was endless
E- ducated the poor
L-ondon, there he conducted missionary labors
L- aw is what he studied, canon and civil
So I was just reading your son's thank you note. It brought a tear to my eye and made me laugh....as Jack so rightly put "God is a being of forgiveness" here goes nothing......
ReplyDeleteI actually wrote an acrostic poem about myself (I always wanted to be a lounge singer and the last 20 yrs of marriage I am certain has propelled me into sainthood(of course I am sure my beloved would use the same reference in regards to me)....Since I didn't want to end up in divorce court and I am not as brave as our fearless leader. I decided to write one about Laurie(your pretty saintly I think)
L-oquacious(meant in a good way)
A-uspicious
U-ndeniable clever
R-are
I-ntriguing
E-ver bettering herself
M-unificent
c-atholic through and through
K-ind
E-ver helping
O-rderly
N-ever gives up
John I (for my oldest brother, John)
ReplyDeleteJ-ohn was also Pope John I and St. John
O-outcome of tolerance of between the east and west emperors with the
Catholics is almost unknown
H-eresy was espoused by the emperor of Italy
N-negotiations between eastern and western emperors were on going with Pope
John I
I- imprisoned by the Western emperor because he suspected friendship with the
Eastern emperor
St. Thomas More (for my youngest brother, Tom)
ReplyDeleteT-ower Hill, London was where Thomas was beheaded in 1535
H-enry VIII ordered More beheaded
O-n July 6, 1535 More was beheaded
M-ore had 4 children
A-lso was an author
S-pirituL man
M-ore was committed before he awaited trial for treason
O-ath of Supremacy was something he would not swear to
R-efused to approve King Henry VIII a divorce from Catherine
E-minent lawyer
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ReplyDeleteS-potless
ReplyDeleteT-eenager
M-adonna
A-ramaean
R-eceived angel’s glad tidings
Y-ahweh’s mother
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Is_the_Virgin_Mary_the_patron_saint_of_Notre_Dame_cathedral
St. Mary ( for my mom, Mary Ellen)
ReplyDeleteS-aint Joachim was her mother
T-tiles for Mary also include, Mother of God, The Blessed Virgin Mary and
Queen of Heaven
M-other of God and Jesus
A-ngel of Gabriel told Mary she was pregnant
R-efer to Mary fewer than 20 times in the New Testament
Y-et, to this day, Mary's death has not been recorded
S-wordfighter
ReplyDeleteT-heologian
F-ell from horse three times
R-omantic love of God
A-ngel in prayer
N-oble turned priest
C-urly gold hair
E-stablished the Sisters of the Visitation
S-lipped sermons under doors
D-iocese of Geneva’s bishop
E-xpressed feelings through letters
S-cabbard
A-ristocratic
L-ead expedition to convert 60,000 Calvinists back to Catholicism
E-ventually accepted by the people of Geneva
S-enator’s son
Patron saint of writers and journalists
St. John Bosco ( for my dad, John)
ReplyDeleteJ-ohn and his friends founded the Salesians in 1857
O-pened school for boys
H-ad contributions from several wealthy patrons
N-ew school was started in 1856
B-anded with his new followers and formed, Francis de Sales
O-ratory of St. Francis de Sales was the school he opened
S-acraments were what he educated to all
C-atnolic publishers were created under him
O-rganized group of Salesian Sisters to assist girls
Bette Midler
ReplyDeleteB- orn in 1945
E- nded up singing in gay bathhouses
T- wo Academy Award
T- hree Emmy Awards
E-nded up with Barry Manilow as her piano accompanist
M- aeries Martin Von Haselberg
I-n 1963 graduated from HS
D-aughter, Sophie, born in1963
L- oved by the gays
E-nded up helping gay movement move forward
R-eleased debut album in 1972
T oured with Bob Hope
ReplyDeleteO vercame his coke addiction
N ew York native
Y earned for fame as a singing waiter
B enedetto was his given last name
E ngineered a 60’s comeback
N o retirement since he’s still touring
N otable painter with works in the Smithsonian
E merged again in 90’s as hipster icon
T ragically left his heart in San Francisco
T ake in his Ravinia show on August 26th
F rancis was his real name
ReplyDeleteR at Pack leader
A lways will be Chairman of the Board
N ew Jersey native, Hoboken of all places
K nown as Ol’ Blue Eyes
S uccessfully reinvented himself as a torch singer
I nspired by Bing Crosby
N umerous Grammy awards and an Academy award
A va Gardner couldn’t stay married to him
T here men kidnapped his son in 1963
R egarded as a Vegas institution
A t age 82, stole a kiss from Kate Moss right and died soon after. (Coincidence?)
C atlike eyes on girlfriend led to name change
ReplyDeleteA t birth, he was Steven Georgiou
T aught himself to play piano
S pent his childhood in Catholic schools
T uberculosis left him in bed for a year
E ventually he became Yusuf Islam
V ocally gifted peace activist
E nvironmental proponent
N ot allowed in US after 9/11 as mistaken terror suspect
S urely “Cat” the Catholic would have been allowed in
S urprisingly not born in Ireland
ReplyDeleteT hought he was a Roman and a Briton
P atron saint of engineers
A t 16, sold as a slave in Ireland
T ended sheep through cold and hunger
R an away at 22
I reland called to him as a mission
C onverted many from paganism
K new nothing of corned beef and cabbage celebration
S aint of postal workers
ReplyDeleteT old Mary she would bear the Son
G ives poor Joseph a dilemma
A rchangel with Michael and Raphael
B eckons letter carriers through
R ain, sleet, snow and dead of night
I nsolvent postal system limps on
E mail trumps snail mail
L ikely to lose Saturday deliveries
S aint of waiter and waitresses
ReplyDeleteT ook in Jesus as welcome friend
M ade sure preparations were ready
A lways cooking and cleaning
R eally annoyed by lazy sister Mary, sitting at feet of Jesus
T ook matters into her own hands
H ad to eat crow when Jesus said Mary made the right choice
A las, no one was left to clean up
S aint of earaches
ReplyDeleteT urkey-native
P ope reviewed date of Easter in Rome with him
O riginal martyr
L ed into crowded stadium to be burned alive
Y et flames did not harm him
C aused killers to use a dagger
A cts of Polycarp’s martyrdom are earliest preserved
R eally ticked off at his mom for the bad name
P urportedly had chronic swimmer’s ear as a child?
T-riborough Bridge
ReplyDeleteO-verdosed on cocaine
N-ew Yorker
Y-ankees play New York NY at home games
B-attle of the Bulge
E-xceptional artist
N-ear death experience changed his ways
N-ew Jersey Hall of Fame
E-xploring the Arts
T-he Way You Look Tonight
T-hey Can’t Take That Away From Me
S aint of brewers
ReplyDeleteT ossed bags of gold in poor man’s window because he
N eeded dowry to save daughters from oldest profession
I n modern day
C hildren put their shoes by the door
H oping to get candy
O n feast day
L ate night once caused me to forget
A wakened by 6 yr-old’s “Mommy, St. Nicholas didn’t come.”
‘S hit!’ – it's going to be a bad day when that's your first thought
S he was one of the first followers of St. Francis of Assissi
ReplyDeleteT ook off to escape arranged marriage
C rusaded for joyous poverty (accepting poverty is one thing, but joyously?)
L ed the Order of Poor Clares
A ble to see and hear mass on the wall of her room
R elieved that there were no commercials
E ternal Word Television Network (EWTN) sadly does not run Sports Center every hour
S aints of stomach disorders
ReplyDeleteT rusted Timothy was fellow apostle of Paul
S ome thought of him as illegitimate because his father was Greek
T hankfully his Grandma Lois found Jesus
I n the face of unrest, Paul sent him out
M ost faithful supporter of Paul
O ffered wine for the sake of an ailing stomach
T rusty Titus was also Paul’s friend
H ad great zeal in the apostolate and great communion in Christ
Y et always there was the problem of human nature
& why are they the patron saints of stomach disorders?
T hey didn’t even have burritos back then
I can’t imagine a thunder down under from bread and fish but
T ums and Pepto were not available
U nknown was Rolaids and Pepcid
S o they probably just put with a lot of messy wipes
Michael Buble
ReplyDeleteM-arried now
I- t's Time...second album
C-ute!
H-handsome!
A-awesome
E-ntered local contest at 18 and won!
L-oves his new wife
B- orn in British Columbia
U-ltimate singer
B-il board success
L-oves to sing!
E-njoys audiences
S-miling
ReplyDeleteT-ricia’s son
A-ngelman syndrome
N-ever sleeps
D-rools
R-oman Catholic
E-ndless amounts of energy
W-hines to get his way
Well he’s a saint to me :)
Cher
ReplyDeleteC-lub days back in the 160's
H- er and Sonny went by the name, Caesar and Cleo
E- ndless hits
R-ecorded with crazy producer Phil Spector
Good God Ladies. Don't you know I have to work? When the hell am I supposed to do 20 Acrostic Fucking Poems at 15-20 minutes each.
ReplyDeleteI feel better now. ;)
OPPS......Meant in my Cher post to type.....1960's......not 160's
ReplyDeleteLarry Sanchez- a famous lounge singer from the 50's... 1350's that is.
ReplyDeleteLame... NOT
Adored by millions of Croatians
Rewrote the Dead Sea Scrolls and turned them into harmonious bliss
Reasonably priced albums (for the 1350's)
Yukon was his home away from home
Sang for Pope Clement VI
Answered to no one
Not a jew
Charcoal-colored mustache was all the rage in Eastern Europe
Heaven sent vocal chords
Ecclesiastical healer throughout the Black Death
Zealous zoologist