But before I tally today's points, I am pondering a few existential questions. Allow me to ramble a bit. During the school year, my kids are not allowed to watch much television, and we never watch day time TV. During the summer, all bets are off, and the tv seems to be on all goddamn day. ESPN, ESPNU, ESPN2, Bravo, that RiverMonsters channel, MTV, VH1, and every other crap network out there. Now I know why our entire civilization is quickly eroding into a big pile of garbage. Cable TV...it's an f'ing wasteland...So, here are some of my questions:
- Are Ryan and Tatum O'Neal so hard up for cash that they will unveil the most ungodly behavior on this new reality show they've got on Oprah's new net work?
- How money grubby is Oprah that she will back this kind of crap?
- And of course, can I stop myself from watching this train wreck? (it's a toss-up)
- Is anyone shocked that Hugh Hefner was dumped by his 25 year old fiancee?
- Or shocked that the whole thing was a big, fat set up?
- Or shocked that Dr. Phil's son is somehow involved?
- Does anyone in Hollywood, except Chris O'Donnell, hang out/hook up/date/marry normal people who are not in some way affiliated or hoping to be affiliated with show business/music business/ modeling/the porn industry/Oprah or Oprah off shoots?
- Why the hell did Arnold and Maria's ex housekeeper grant an interview to that British Magazine? And how humiliating for Maria.
- Doesn't that kid look freakishly like Arnold? Creepy....
- Do you really think it was only a few times?
- Is Ian still alive on Pretty Little Liars?
- Really?? Is anyone surprised that Snookie got arrested in Italy?
- When does Rescue Me come back on??
Number Five: A tie between John and Judy--short and sweet made an impact on the judges tonight: John's "Pack suck" and Judy's "Hell yeah, Game time!" 10 points each for the both of you, plus your quantity points--that's 14 for John and 34 for Judy, ...thus far
Number Four: John's "Yale/golf dyke" one. I was very impressed. Another 20 for John, bringing his night's total up to 34...the race gets tighter.
Number Three: Tricia's "golf cart sans cart girl" one. The boys loved this one, because their heads have been turned a time or two by one of the cart girls at Strawberry Creek...hit close to home. 36 big points for you.
Number Two: Judy's "Cris bald team" one. The boys are nothing if not egocentric, so this totally got their votes and Judge Wendy was quite impressed...Well done, Mrs Pulera--74 big, important points for you.
Number One: Stacy. Even on the road, Stacy brings it home. Her solo entry was quite impressive...and according to Judge Wendy, it made the most sense. This is one tight little race we have here.
To spice things up a bit, starting with tomorrow's judging, we are going to increase the point totals. It's all doubling up, even the quantity points, so bring it on. Two good days and any one can win it all....
Now, for tonight's challenge: Write a logical alliterative sentence about reality TV. (remember, alliterative sentences are those that have the same beginning letter sounds) For example: Stupid Snookie still seems so skanky swilling successive smirnoffs. You guys can make some better and longer sentences...I'm running out of time. Good Luck with this one and do your very best to rack up huge, huge points.
Tonight's Top Ten:--10 great suggestions for Father's Day--you're welcome
- The 30 for 30 DVDs--produced by ESPN--these movies are dynamite. I'm not kidding. The SMU one was super informative. I want them WAY more than Dave McKeon
- A round of golf at Whistling Straits--great course, great club house, a great gift
- The non iron shirts from Brooks Brothers.--can't go wrong here. I think they have a deal going on
- A tie from Ben Silver...(or Hermes, if your dad is a real clothes horse)--their stuff is classic, and they have some great patterns
- The Nook---however, I have to warn you--this thing is addictive. It's like crack for readers...
- Bonobos shorts or pants...check them out, their are pretty cool
- The New Droid Thunderbolt Verizon's 4G Phone--according to my sources from McTernan wireless, a new tower is being put up in Kenosha tomorrow
- Some great steaks from William Sonoma's new meat catalogue...and/or a great steak dinner at Mr. B's steakhouse.
- A subscription to GQ Magazine--just a ton of great value here...and it looks like you planned ahead
- Love--(or some Titleist ProV golf balls)
Gene's Genealogy Gem gives great grins granting gratifying glimpse, gainfully gathers guidance; generally good!
ReplyDeleteAbout Gene Simmons Family Jewels
Thanks Laurie, lesson learned! Watch out though I may just wow you on this one!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's really no fun on the straight and narrow!!!!! Though at least I won't have to clean out my liquor cabinet from self induced guilt ridden drunkenness anymore!!!
ReplyDeleteHills hottie Heidi has hot human hull, hence huge heavy heart heave happens howbeit her having husband.
ReplyDeleteI'm not even sure that sentence made sense....on to many margaritas with my niece and her roommate It's so fun when the majority of the family is gone. I think I may have to suggest they do it more often!!!
ReplyDeleteI hear you, brenna/kim. Maybe we can have a little girls blogging road trip to Notre Dame and we can all pretend like we are young, single and still in college....hey, wait, I'm already doing that...(except for the young and single part)
ReplyDeleteBeing beau Bachelor bespeaks boning babes because bystanders bide by bad boy being but bodes bordering bawdy behavior.
ReplyDeleteDancing dames delight dudes, donning delicately delicious deficiently disguising dresses.
ReplyDeleteSeacrest seemingly studly sans short stubby seventh stage school shot. see sample
ReplyDeleteCopy this link to see what the hell I'm talking about.
http://goo.gl/dtCUw
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ReplyDeleteKim Kardashian keeps kielbasa kinetically keyhold, kindly kneeling.
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ReplyDeleteOzzy Osborne's overuse of opium obviously opens obtusely oriented opinions, obtaining outrageously original objectives outside ordinary origins.
ReplyDeleteScotty scores successful season, soundly securing societal scoring, skillfully singing some significantly southern songs, smoothly swooning sumptuously shallow scale; spells scheduled solo single salvation, Steven subjectively says SHAZAM SHIT SIZZLE, SENSATIONAL SCOTTY SPLENDIFEROUSLY SLAYED SONGS! Seacrest smiles sheepishly since Simon's Swiss savings subsequently swells so several scheduled succeeding seasons seem sure.
ReplyDeleteFear factor fans face foreclosure from forced funky food fare, future for factor feared finished; falls from fashion.
ReplyDeleteHoly mother of god!!! I go to bed to sleep off my delirium and now am duly dumbfounded. John your an animal, don't you sleep?
ReplyDeleteLaurie we are young right??? Last night, after trying to get somewhat cute(as cute as a 45yr old can be, mind you I know its rather hard to believe but I do clean up somewhat nicely when I want to) for the outing. I come downstairs feeling pretty good. My niece says to me " when I get OLDER Aunt Kim I want to dress like you" . I stood there thinking REALLY I haven't gone out and done anything fun in easily 759 days, its actually like 1059 but whos counting, and in the first 5 seconds I was completely demoralized. I'm sure there was a compliment in there somewhere but it didn't feel like it at the time. SOOOOO I had no choice but to drowned myself in a few cocktails to sooth my wounded pride. On that note I am totally up for a coed weekend at ND!!!!
Despite my headache here goes nothing..... Sexplotation sent seven social misfits seaward seeking stardom,sans Snooki,she sat soused senseless south of Sicily, what a slattern!
In case there is any question I would like to point out that the definition of an alliteration is.....the occurrence of the same letter or sound at the beginning of adjacent or closely connected words, i.e. calm cool and collected.
ReplyDeleteNow that I think about it this may not help me since it gives everyone a little latitude but I thought we should all be on the same page.
Hidden, hopeless, helpless, horrid habitat Hoarders hinder human helping hands.
ReplyDeleteSexy, slim,saucy, seductive Shania survives scandalous situation, sings several successful seductive sensational songs.
ReplyDeleteCoco’s cloddish comedy clearly confused Courtney Cox.
ReplyDeleteTila Tequila tends to tup two types!
ReplyDeleteHamptons hosted hot housewives,hightimes had by hundreds.
ReplyDeleteReality replicated 'Road Rules' really received ridiculous ratings.
ReplyDeletePunk'd pushed principles of play past panic,paradoxical paradigm!!!
ReplyDeleteWhale Wars wages wacko warfare whereby we wallow in whaler wanderlust.
ReplyDeleteCupcake wars catastrophe causes cataclysmic casualty causing cash cow for catapulting canny contestant
ReplyDelete“Big Break” began before Briny Baird birdied Ben Bates by breaking Best Ball’s best bloodsome.
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ReplyDeleteDestination Truth debunks daft datum while duly delivering distracting diversion.
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ReplyDeleteSyfy’s “School Spirits” says spooked schools should somehow scare swaggering students straight.
ReplyDeleteHoarders home harbors harumscarum(its really a word in the dictioary) harridan hardpressed to have harmonious habitation.
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ReplyDeleteHugh Hefner's healthy heart has helped him hump Harris!
ReplyDelete(Girls Next Door)
Toddler and Tiaras tempts the tactless to tantalize with tactics of tiny talentless tarts.
ReplyDeleteJust realized from other postings that you can use prepositions and conjunctions.
ReplyDeleteReposting:
Crazy, competitive, calculating, clever, crafty Couponers collect, combine and carefully cut collected current coupons for cool cash and crap.
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ReplyDeleteI just want you to know judges I have not cheated this time. Only used the trusty dictionary for word help. I don't believe that is against the rules?!
ReplyDeleteAmazing Race awash with average athletes acquiring an assigned arrangement among adversaries aspiring to attack an aspiration of accomplishment with the attempt to actualize an absolute achievement.
ReplyDeleteUsed Brenna's rules on this one.
Famous, f*cked up, fat figured, freckle- face Fergie fakes faithfulness and has female fallacious feelings but fares failed financial flak.
ReplyDelete(Saving Sarah)
Eden’s early exit embarrasses emcee evoking everyone’s empathy.
ReplyDelete“Toddlers & Tiara’s”
Amber’s alert acts as an apparent appeal against another’s annoyance.
ReplyDelete“Teen Mom”
Kneeling Kim kisses Kris’ knockwurst keeping Kardashian Klan kecking.
ReplyDeleteLollipop-loving Lamar’s lazy lady loves lunching leaving little lagniappe.
ReplyDeleteSteven’s silly sentences surprise some spectators so seriously stimulating saccades.
ReplyDeleteSurviving Survivors seldom seek significant salaries.
ReplyDeleteBandana Bret beats brain bulge beginning behind brain.
ReplyDeleteHere is Stacy's entry: she did text it to me on time, I just failed to post it promptly because I was lounging on a chaise lounge at the pool--my summer is down to six days and there's no way I'm winning "best tan" if I don't give it my all... Here is Stacy's entry: "Bodacious, big breasted Bachelor babes become boastful, bickering bitches because buff Bachelor boyfriend buys best Barbie beautiful bouquet before blushing bride becomes bad break-up broadcast, bawling because bogus banal bond broken." Shit, that's some good stuff...
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