NERDY WORDY: DOUBLE LETTER SCORE

Nice work to all on the rather lengthy sentences full of double letters. I must say, I missed Sue Chiappetta's entry(ies)  She should have been a lock on this one, as her name is full of double letters-Alas, she did not partake in today's fun. Plenty more chances for her to get back into the game.

While I wait for Judge Wendy to give me her official decision regarding those VERY long sentences, allow me to digress just a little....Today I had my annual physical. It was totally fine, but it was one more occasion that highlights the remarkable differences between me and Dave McKeon. When Dave had his annual physical this past December, he starved himself for two weeks and refused to eat anything that would show up in a blood test. He is a big believer in trying to fake out the cholesterol screening. I on the other hand, take the approach of : it is what it is...So, this morning, after taking the kids to the orthodontist (Nate McKeon got his braces off...looking good) I drove through the Burger King (McKeon family ritual--all doctors and dentist appointments are followed by some sort of foodfest) and while getting food for the progeny,  I shamelessly ordered myself a whopper junior with cheese. Yeah, I knew I had my physical later that day, but I was really hungry and a whopper junior really hits the spot. And really? who am I kidding?? Like the doctor can't see pretty quickly that I'm no skinnier or healthier than I was last year?? Whatever. However, I really admire Dave's "can do" attitude and eternal physical optimism....(but I will also add, both my blood pressure and cholesterol are freakishly low for someone who eats as much and as poorly as I do...)

Speaking of can-do attitudes, as I've mentioned, Dave McKeon took the low carb/no carb diet very seriously. (4 Hour Body has become his Bible) He has dropped almost 25 pounds. He is skinnier than when we met and like I said...it's kind of freaking me out.... For a few reason: First of all, suddenly, three of our four sons weigh more than or close to what Dave weighs...What the hell?? How am I supposed to scare them straight when they are now bigger than their old man?  Sure, he can still kick their asses, and of course, we still hold all of the financial power, but the gap is closing and I'm feeling nervous ...Secondly, you know what they say about middle aged men who suddenly start dieting?....Yeah, me too. So, when I brought this up to Dave McKeon, he laughed just crazy hard in my face saying: "Are you kidding me? You think I would ever have a girlfriend on the side??? I can't even afford you. There is no way I'm bringing any other females into my life....even Posey's wardrobe is bleeding me dry. Jesus, the biggest reason why I'm sticking to this diet is that it's cutting down on the grocery bill.. Besides, you're the one who convinced me to go on this diet with you. and read that 1,000 page book..It's not my fault that you quit after chapter 2 and caved on the diet the minute you smelled Poe's onion rings....not that you need to lose any weight.  Oh, shit, don't get mad....See, this, this is why I'd NEVER have a girlfriend..."....and so it goes.... I swear though, between you and me...Dave McKeon has manorexia, He's getting way too skinny.  Though his drop in weight may be directly proportional to the rise in his Notre Dame tuition bill this fall....maybe if I started writing the checks around here, I could drop some middle aged spread, too...naaah, too stressful....

Ok, this just in: Judge Wendy has spoken (called) and the results are in. We are doing total points (quantity and quality together) because I really need to post ASAP and get back to my Nook---it is my new true love.  I am going to have to leave the Nook at home when I go to school because I cannot be trusted to be in the same room with it. It's siren song just sucks me in. ...(shocker that someone with my incredible will power can't stick to a diet...)

Now, I want to be perfectly clear....there were many great sentences entered today, BUT I did warn you that Judge Wendy is a stickler for syntax and clarity (you are lucky that you get to type these little ditties or Judge Wendy would be taking into account your penmanship as well) The sentences actually have to make sense, and despite all male thinking to the contrary, length is not always the most important factor. (You heard it here first).  As a matter of fact, one of the judges blatantly stated: "Once those long ones stop making sense, I just quit reading" And heard from another judge: "The first one that actually makes sense is getting my vote" . So, a little tip to the contestants:  when posting your entries, remember your judges: a control freak, rule following teacher, a skittish, flaky soon to be grad student and two moronic, swamp monster watching, no attention spanned adolescents. Pitch it to their level...and you will reap the rewards.

With that in mind, here are today's top five:
Number 5: Tricia--she just had the one entry, but her mention of Burberry and Tiffany's hit a chord with at least one judge--11 points for her.
Number 4: Brenna/Kim--she had 4 nice entries, and the judges found the one about the grinning doorman the best. 24 very nice points for her, and my eternal sympathy for the car vandalism...What's up with that??
Number 3: John for his last entry--sure, the judges realized that it makes no sense, but they just felt sorry for that "annoying aardvark eating that green apple". 35 total points for him tonight.
Number 2; Judy Pulera...again. The judges loved the Woodstock entry and the moms in the crowd were tempted by the "lip gloss/ ass halling (sic)" entry. 43 big, big points for Judy. Consistency is your middle name.
Number 1: Stacy, stacy, stacy...once again, hitting the home run with one swing of the bat. Everybody voted her "phone etiquette" sentence as their favorite.  I truly do admire her strategy...let's see if it has legs....

And I was just informed by one of the Judges that Suechi just weighed in. Sorry, Sue, the time was up, but if it makes you feel any better, you had Nate's vote, because "hey, I'm voting for Mrs. Chiappetta, because I can actually can understand what she's saying...." Too bad Nate can't tell time....No worries, Sue, there are many more challenges to come. Like the one for tomorrow....(nice segue, eh?) Here it is: In honor of Dave McKeon and his manorexia, and Laurie McKeon and her fooderexia, please write a limerick (or 50--John Heinzmann) about food or some food related topic (that has nothing to do with politics OR Michelle Obama).  Like:
There once was a family of eight
whose meals were chronically late
the mom wouldn't cook
so engrossed in her nook
that the dad dropped a shitload of weight

Or something along those lines. good luck. It's way harder than it looks. (the last line is a killer).

Here are today's top ten:
1. Pawn Stars---have you seen this show?? It's addictive--thanks, a lot Jack McKeon for bringing this to my attention...just what I need, another distraction keeping me from buying my books....
2. Michael Malone's books--they are very long and thus quite the Nook bargain...
3. Whopper Jr. with cheese---hits the spot
4. Olive Juice shoe sale for kids--some great buys, very classic shoes...stock up now for fall
5. The Dallas Mavericks--class move by  Mark Cuban letting the trophy be handed to the original owner
6. Matt Mattuecci--he can kick a forty five yard field goal--it's true, it's on youtube. I saw it..
7. All Girl's Allowed--Annie is working there this summer. Their Executive Director testified before congress today. It's pretty cool. check out their website...100% of all donations go directly to helping women and children in China
8. Bertucci Field Watch--a great value and very cool look...not a bad Father's Day gift for that hip dad
9. Nate McKeon--a fine judge and no longer a brace face--one less McKeon on the orthodontist receivables.
10. Casey Ferraro--saving my bacon this summer. Thanks, Case