FIN!

I know just how late it is. I apologize, but there were SO many entries and the judges really took the time to dissect these six word nuggets of literary prowess. It was WAY harder than it looks. I must have read every entry ten times. Judge Wendy had much to say...most of it sounding something like: "That is not a six word STORY, it is a six word SENTENCE!  Big difference!" Judge Nate slogged through them all and weighed in with his unique perspective, and Judge Chris had to recuse himself as he posted up a few pearls of his own. "Internet is here. Wake Grandma. Fin" ?? Really??  Maybe.... (True story:  At one point tonight, this free form nonsensical piece of bullshit was actually in contention...no joke. I've got to tell you, if you read any of these six word configurations enough times, they all start to sound like they have some deep hidden meaning....it's scary. Thank God Judge Wendy brought us back to our collective senses.."Just because it says "fin" at the end doesn't make it a story...it's just six sassy words strung together...we have got to move on")   Needless to say, we went round and round on all 300 plus entries. Judge Wendy was beginning to lose her patience, and then, she actually lost her electricity, (HUGE storms in the Western suburbs with a massive power outage--Judge Wendy is freaking out because her auxiliary sump pump battery may run low and we all know what that can lead to...needless to say, judging six word stories are no longer at the top of her "to do") so, lucky for everyone, except Judge Wendy and her neighbors,  we just had to make some tough decision and bring this baby to a close. Also, Judge Nate left to go to Wingstop...judging a challenge of this magnitude really works up your appetite....

So, after much deliberation, we have chosen the three top entries, and thus, determined the winner of the entire challenge. It was interesting, to say the least, seeing each contestant playing out their long term strategies. Judy and Tricia (especially Tricia) went for quantity all the way today. Stacy, once again, is playing the quality card. John as always jumped in first and set the bar high, in both quantity and quality, and Brenna provides a thoughtfulness to her entries that is quite compelling. Honestly, everyone of you did an excellent job! Again, I thank you all for participating in this literary challenge and for devoting some of your precious time to punching into the blog. This has been a very fun way for me to ease some of my anxiety about going back to school....actually, I have way more anxiety about leaving Posey home with her brothers and father....this could end badly in so many ways, that I have to stop dwelling on it or I will drive myself crazy  (Please, it takes a village...If any of you see her walking alone down Sheridan Road, or standing on the corner of 75th and 22nd Ave by herself, please pick her up and then drive directly to my house and smack every single male in sight....really hard. Then call me)

So, again, thanks for the fun diversion. And most of all, please remember that this is a contest for fun and fellowship. Please don't hold a grudge if you are not THE winner (remember, only ONE winner tonight....sorry. I only have ONE prize) and if you are upset, please hold that grudge against Judge Wendy. She was the total stickler in this thing. I would have let everyone win...of course I would...I do promise that when I return from grad school, (even if I flunk out--it could happen) come this August, there will be a big old blog challenge reunion Beach Party at Casa McKeon  (fingers crossed that our new found beach has not been washed away by tonight's storm...), that will better than any necklace, bracelet or Burberry scarf.  So even if you are upset by tonight's results, just pretend like you are not, so you can come and suck down all the very famous, patented Dave McKeon Long Island's you can drink. I'm even hoping to get Young Studly Louis to come up...Beach Blanket McKeon will draw a crowd.

With all of that preface, here are tonight's results. I must warn you, they kind of took on a life of their own as we analyzed and re analyzed these stories...First the quantity points which really had an impact on the whole challenge, but especially tonight.. (counting these up was time consuming, to say the least :
Judy: 170, John: 156, Stacy: 40, Tricia: 264!!!, Brenna: 86.   Very excellent.

Now, on to quality---for this last challenge, the judges split a possible 1000 points (the last challenge is ALWAYS worth the most) among the top three entries....now you know why this took so gd long...there are many ways to split 1000 points. But finally here is how it all played out...
Numbers 2 and 3 tied and each entry received 250 points. Number one was awarded 500 points.  It was beyond crazy coming to this compromise but the Judges feel really good about their work. The two masterful second place entries were:
2. John's "Man awakes. Chews off own arm." This was a consistent judge favorite because you can just see the story here....(not a very pretty story, but a pretty good story) John had some other great entries, too--("What is she like? Great personality"....was one of my favorites, but one sump pump obsessed judge just "couldn't see the story"...)  John, 250 points plus your quantity points=406 for the night...very, very impressive.

2. Judy's "Shit! I married the wrong woman." was just excellent.  Again, great story, great emotion...cracked everyone up...(another Judy contender was "Your husband is a great kisser"...talk about a story...) As always, Judy brought the quality and quantity  420 total points for you tonight.

1. And finally, in a very surprising come from behind win...with a very touching subtle entry (that honestly, given all of the entries from this author may have been blind luck--kind of like when John guessed my confirmation name) Tricia's : "In the end, she loved him". Read this one a few (hundred) times and it really is the best story of all...Who knew the judges would get so sappy at the end of this whole thing? Certainly not me.  This little story just kept growing on us and in the end, we loved it...that gives Tricia a ridiculous 764 points for tonight.

To Kim and Stacy, we all mean this when we say that your entries were terrific (Stacy's "Love being a mom. Margaritas help" is a classic, and Brenna's "Love, a heart breaking emotional war" made everyone of us sigh, but both of these got aced out in the end...blame the sump pump. At one point, we were tempted to score five, but Judge Wendy brought us back to the rules...and for that we are thankful or we may still be going at it. ) Again, it was a real treat to read your stuff. Thanks again for participating and sharing your talents.

For those of you who are not doing the math in your heads, the final scoreboard reveals that Tricia, yes, Tricia in a spectacular come from behind victory is our winner with 1315 total points...Way to go, Tricia. Excellent job. Quantity yielded quality and that, my friend resulted in a Tiffany necklace to match your very cool bracelet. Now all John has to do is get you the earrings and you are all set...

Judy came in second with a whopping 1196 points and John was right behind with 1148 points. Once again, you two finish at the top.  Very well played.  It was another stellar challenge. Great entries, great comraderie and an awesome photo finish. Again, thanks to all who participated and thanks to all who popped in just to view the fun. Tricia, the necklace is ready and waiting for you. Congratulations and Contact me for delivery.

Wish me luck as I re enter the world of Academia.  Let's hope it doesn't spit me right back out. I will try to keep you posted, but I should probably do my homework first....again, thanks to all. See you on the beach.