Saturday in the park..

Hope you all like the new look. We are , if nothing else, a work in progress. Chris McKeon added a little color to the blog during his fall break. I'm hoping to be able to do a little more...one step at a time, or my tiny, techno brain could quite possibly explode.

At this very moment, Notre Dame is getting its ass kicked by Navy...Navy...No disrespect to the Midshipman, but Navy?? You've got to be kidding me. I love college football, and seriously follow the game. There are some great match ups this weekend, but I must admit, it's the whole drama of season that keeps me intrigued. This has not been the pre eminent Irish football season  that I had hoped for, and frankly, it makes me a little bit angry. If ND isn't winning, I just want to see a big, bunch of chaos throughout the whole College Football scene. So, if  Notre Dame is going to lose to a service academy, (and, yes, my friends, that is exactly what happened today) here are some other college football scenarios I'd like to see take place this weekend:

• Missouri to beat Oklahoma--all number ones must lose, until Boise State gets its due
• Urban Meyer to have a nervous breakdown (I know Florida has this week off, but I'm hoping he just has the world's biggest, psycho melt down ever---I know it's going to happen, I'm just not sure when.)
• Northwestern to whip Michigan State---will not, did not happen...
• Mark Dantonio to have a massive coronary on the sidelines--it's nothing personal, I just think it would make for some great TV...and send a very clear message to the rest of the football world that kicking a fake field goal against Notre Dame in overtime has some serious lifetime reprecussions....so think very carefully before you decide to go cheap and low against the Irish... 
• A sluttly looking Miami cheerleader to get dropped by her muscle bound  partner
• The Stanford Pine Tree (seriously, that's a mascot??) get beat up by its own stupid, smug full of itself Stanford band
• Brutus Buckeye get his ass kicked by Purdue Pete. I know that Ohio State will beat Purdue, but a steel cage mascot beat down between these two? TV viewing that I would not miss.
• Iowa to lose to Wisconsin--I am NOT a Badger fan, but I swear, I am so goddamn sick of hearing how great Iowa is --they fade EVERY single season,--and how great Kirk Ferentz is--he gets mentioned in every single coaching conversation, and yet, Iowa is never really a factor in the BCS picture, let alone the national title game. I want to like Iowa, it seems like the American thing to do, but man, they disappoint every year. Let's just end all conversations involving Iowa this weekend, by having the Badgers put them in their place.
• Any referee to get knocked on his ass--admit it, it makes you laugh, too.
• That goddamn Randy Cross to get laryngitus. Seriously, I wish I could get paid for stating the obvious like he does...just so irritating
• Joe Paterno to start swearing up a storm in a post game press conference
• Kirk Herbstreit to just shut the fuck up
• Lee Corso to stop being such a big shidiot...enugh with the schtick. You're better than that
• Lou Holtz to get cannonized...it will happen, it's just a matter of when
• Lou Holtz to take a big old sucker punch at Mark May, preferably to the side of his head,  because if he doesn't, I'm going to...I cannot stand that USC, Pete Carrol loving, totally biased announcer...have a little respect, Marky Mark...you are not worthy of sitting on the same studio set as St. Lou
• Tate Forcier spending this off week teaching  Denard Robinson how to tie his shoes... pay attention, little brother, you are fast, but you are not invincible. Rich Rod may need to rethink his schemes...
• Iowa State to beat Texas--I hate all Florida and Texas teams just on sheer principal...you should be a perrenial title contender if you live in a state that allows for year round outdoor high school football and you are not a total suck recruiter...Florida and Texas have been so hyped the last few years, that I just want to see them spiral into a free fall that never ends ( which, of course, will bring on the much anticipated Urban Meyer melt down...that will teach him to turn his nose up at the ND football. coaching job...time may move on, but I will never forget...)
• Les Miles to lose in the last ten seconds to Auburn by bitching up the clock...again
• Les Miles to get lynched by some crazy LSU fan for losing the game...you know it could really happen, those cajuns are nuts...look at J'Marcus Russel (cough syrup drinking fool...)
• Cam Newton to have a good game, but not a great game...no Heisman for him...
• Nebraska to spank Oklahoma State.  I want Nebraska to be great UNTIL they get to the Big Ten (yeah, we all know it should be the Big Twelve, but everyone is afraid that if they change the name, Mark Dantonio will have a heart attack...) Then, I want Nebraska to get beat up by EVERYONE, including Indiana...it could happen...won't, but it could
• Another Boise State player to propose to a cheerleader...WAY better than any goddamn rose ceremony on The Bachelor.
• TCU to stay atop the Texas college football world.  Hook 'em, horns, my ass...
• Oregon to wear the same uniform two weeks in a row...blah, blah, blah, Phil Knight...we all know you are rich and love Oregon, but their constant wardrobe changes make them look like a bunch of p*ssies
• Somebody to give a shit who wins between  Illinois and Indiana
• Kellen Moore to have a monster game on Tuesday night against Louisiana Tech. I want him to win the Heisman. Again, let's shake this whole big conference football thing upside down...then, I want him to propose to a cheerleader, or a cameraman, or someone...
• USC to lose all of its remaining games and get "outed" as the biggest, cheatingest program in the nation. Really? Reggie Busch was the only guy on the take???
• Nick Saban's Crimson Tide to lose to Tennessee (this will not happen, but I so want him out of the Bowl picture) because he is a self righteous, lying shid....yeah, he's a great coach, but something about him chaps me. I hate Steve Spurrier, too, (ex-Florida coach and player), but I give him some props for beating the hated Nick "I'm never leaving LSU" Saban. Remember, all number ones must lose.
• Lou Holtz to lay his holy hands on Kyle Rudolph's mangled hamstring and heal him...
• Rutgers to beat Pitt today and Eric Legrand to regain his health.  All attitude and sass aside, please keep this kid in your prayers.

College football Saturdays are the best, tons of action, always a story, and every week is anyone's game--just ask Navy.

This Week's Top Ten---Top Ten College Football Teams I hate the most today: (no, I'm not angry...)

1. Navy--duhhhh.  Beating Notre Dame 3 of the last 4 years??? Don't you midshipman have a war or a dictator to overthrow somewhere? (That Dobbs kid is scary good--get him off the football field and tell him to go find Bin Laden) 
2. USC --OJ Simpson, the Bush push, Pete Carroll and now, Lane Kiffin??? Quite the track record
3. Miami-- What the hell is that "The U" all about?? Like Miami is some sort of one letter school now???Get waaaay over yourselves.  Besides, I will ALWAYS hate Jimmy Johnson and the "U" for running up the score against Gerry Faust in 1985. The original convict team...and always will be
4. Colorado--another big bunch of punks...Remember Gary Barnett and that girl kicker? yikes. Interesting aside:  While he was the coach at Colorado, Bill McCartney's daughter had a secret love affair with Colorado quarterback Sal Aunese and had a baby who was the back up quarterback at LSU. This is the sort of sports story that I live for...
5. Florida--The Gator chomp has no teeth now that Tim Tebow is gone. Sorry, Urban Meyer. Is your heart palpitating yet??? It should be.
6. Texas---no explanation needed, everybody hates Texas, it's not just me
7. Boston College--has not yet gotten the news that there is only ONE premier Catholic College football team in the land and it sure ain't BC.  OK, I'll give you Doug Flutie, but that's it. Annie actually considered attending Boston College. I told her in all seriousness that she was more than welcome to go to BC, but there was no way in hell I was ever going to write a check to them, so she'd better be prepared to pay her tuition herself.
8. Ohio State--all that dotting the "i" bullshit...it just gets under my skin. Home of Maurice Clarrett
9. Michigan--it takes some effort to really work up the hatred during the Rich Rod era, but my memory is long.  
10. Any team playing against Notre Dame....sure, the Irish are struggling, but they will always be my team.

I Promise to post again soon once I'm not so steamed about the ND loss..., I have some big plans for next week, Let me know what you think about the new look. That ticker is pretty slick...now, that it exists, let's see what we can all do to get it to the next level.