HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Admit it. You thought I was never going to post again, didn't you? You couldn't get so lucky.  I was taking a much needed break and spending some quality time with my.... kindle....(you thought I was going to  say with my kids, didn't you?) The kindle is a little compact miracle that I grow to love more each day. The kids, well, they're ok, too.  But now, after my little rest,  I am back in the blogosphere and ready to post it up for the foreseeable future. I have quickly realized that the only way I am going to make it through what appears to be a very long and cold winter is to immediately plan a Spring Break Trip and to blog my way along for amusement and profit. Amusement from you, my fun and funny followers, --do not let me down...and profit from that book deal that I am certain is looming on the not yet visible, but soon to materialize book deal horizon...( I feel that 2011 is my lucky year....as they say on Wheel of Fortune "c'mon, big money").

Speaking of amusement, do you all remember the photo that was mentioned during the Fit Club Challenge of Mr.Brian FF Pond kissing Sarah Palin? Well guess what? That photo really exists and I have a copy of it. I am inserting right here into my blog for all to see. (Please note and quietly applaud right now, in the privacy of your home, office or car the enormous upgrade in technological skills I am showing by inserting this photo into my blog.. Yes, I am impressed too...a new year, a new techno savvy me...You're welcome.

I personally cannot get enough of this photo. That is really Sarah Palin and that is really Brian Pond. Note that they are both ball cap aficionados....hmm...Man, this could be the start of something big...I am totally putting it out there that if any of you have any photos, no matter how stupid or incriminating that involve anyone we even remotely know kissing a celebrity or even a psuedo celebrity, those photos had better end up coming to this blog. I mean it. It is these "brush  with greatness" moments that will put this blog on the cyber map and reel in the ever elusive book deal....To the Ponds, I thank you for the photo and sharing your special moment with all of us. To the rest of you, let's go. Don't let the Ponds make you look like unimpressive, non celebrity kissing losers....get those photos coming....

So, Happy New Year. Bring it on, 2011. Thanks to the Burberry Fit Club Challenge, my pants still fit. Despite the Burberry Fit Club Challenge (TWO Burberry scarves and awesome consolation prizes?,...Laurie, you are too much), I still have a few pesos in my checking account, so all in all, I am eager and ready to meet and greet the New Year. I have made only one resolution this year, (which is one more than I made last year) but it is a good one:  I am giving up profanity. I mean it, I am going to work like crazy (see? I could have said "H*LL", but didn't ) to eliminate the cursing...especially the f-bomb. I have found that I am dropping it more and  more frequently, and I fear that people may interpret my constant stream of profanity as an indication of a low vocabulary. This could not be further from the truth...Hey, I took the GRE last month (this will be fodder for another post, trust me) and a low vocabulary is not my issue. (negative exponents, absolute values squared, enormous three variable equations turned into two page fractions?...that's my issue.) So, to class up the blog and show my verbal prowess, I am refraining from blatant and gratuitous expletives.

Allow me to clarify: As my New Year's resolution for 2011, I am giving up profanity. However, there will be a few exceptions and I just want to get them out there, so you all are not calling me out on ever tiny, knit picking cuss word. The following situational profanity is allowable:

• Crap is not a bad word. I will try not to use it a lot because it is a lazy word, but it is not a bad word....
• The P*$$y List keeps its name. I'm quoting someone, so it doesn't count. Don't worry, Dave McKeon took almost a full week off over the Holidays, and thus provided plenty more items for the list. Just ask Casey Ferraro and Laurie Rafferty. You spend 10 minutes with Dave and the list grows..
• Any other "quotes" of other people's profanity does not count, especially if I am quoting Tommy from "Rescue Me".
• "Hell" can go either way.  I will be the judge of when it is appropriate
• "Shidiot" is not profanity
• If someone does something just extraordinarily stupid, and you know it is going to happen, I am allowed to use an asterisk in the expletive that will be necessary in these rare circumstances.
• When the police pick up Pete McKeon for some shidiocy, (and you know it's going to happen) I am allowed to swear at him until his ears bleed
• If Notre Dame ever gets beat by Tulsa in any sport ever again, heavy profanity is absolutely permissible.
• If an anvil, piano, bank safe or any other super heavy object falls on my head or foot, I am allowed to swear like a sailor
• If I am in the middle of a particularly difficult Boot Camp session, I can let the occasional curse word slip...What happens at Boot Camp, Stays at Boot Camp,  right, Judy?
• Words that sound like profanity "freaking, fricking, frigging, darn it, mother puss bucket, etc..." are allowed in small doses...the more creative, the better
• Taking the Lord's name in vain is off limits....this will be difficult, but I will try hard
• If I suddenly find out some super shocking news (but it has to be really shocking, like: I'm pregnant, Annie's joined a cult in London, Chris makes the Deans List, Modern Family gets cancelled, Daniel Tosh is really a woman...) a few expletives are allowed.

Other than that, I'm speaking on the straight and narrow. Only clean, fresh, smart and chipper words will be coming out of my mouth and off of my fingers. On to a new and better me, on to a new and better year.

Okay, I know that it has been a while, so I just want to remind you all how this whole blog thing works. I write/post some highly entertaining, high quality stuff, including super photos like the one above. You read the stuff, log on and send me back some comments. It's just like what you all did during the Burberry Fit Club Challenge, BUT there is no incentive involved (other than making me laugh). I think you are all mature enough, kind enough and engaged enough to  post up a comment now and then, without having to be bribed. Moreover, maybe a few of you could convince some of your equally witty and nongraft loving friends to check out the blog as well. C'mon, you can do it...We will see how this whole "mature, honor system" thing goes, and if you are all good, (followers, comments and photos) I will run some new incentive laden challenge in the late winter. When we will all really need it, but until then, just keep reading, commenting, following and SENDING IN PICTURES OF PEOPLE KISSING FAMOUS PEOPLE....please. Thanks.

ps--To Angela Fitzpatrick: You kissing Brendan on his return from Afghanistan totally counts as a "famous kissing" photo.  Do not disappoint.

Today's Top Ten--(somethings will not change in this new year)

1. The Kindle--it truly is amazing. I am not kidding.
2. "Pretty Little Liars"--it is back on tonight with the season premiere
3. Blue Mercury in Lake Forest--has many great facial products for men and women...ask for Linda, she knows everything 
4. "Children Playing Before a Statue of Hercules" --a Book of Short stories endorsed by David Sedaris.
5. Sue Chiappetta--she and Emily are totally stocking up Annie McKeon for her trip to London. I am VERY grateful
6. Jack McKeon--got into Notre Dame AND put all the Christmas decorations up.
7. Those white rappers from Maine who sing that mash up song that mixes the theme from the show "Rugrats" with a bunch of rap stuff...sorry, I can't remember their names, but it's a great song.
8. True Grit-the new version of the movie, or the old one
9. The "kissing Sarah Palin" photo
10. 2011--the year of the Book Deal