posting from haiti

You know its a real contest when you are getting a post from haiti. I'm doing this on my international blackberry so forgive the even more typos than usual.

No time to score last week but keep up the good work. But I do have this weeks contest:

Best stocking stffer for a ten yesr old boy

Your welcome for that special gift brian and john. So stop your whining. You guys not only have ten year old boys but you used to be one. Don't waste this opportunity fellas.

And let's all take a moment to revel in the marvel of the crackberry.

That s all for now. Let's ring up the blog ticker. Do it for the children.

And Chris is my favorite son for posting this. Viva la revolucion!

MCYMC--THE BEST OF WEEK ONE

I am currently on page 16 of this f***ing paper and sliding into home. Man, I can't wait to get this monkey off my back.  I am way too old for this late night "desperation leads to inspiration" form of academia.  Hell, I'm way too old for academia....because pretty much all of the gifts you all suggested for mother in laws are gifts that I would want myself....Of course, everyone knows that I have always been a closet 80 year old: bone china, monogrammed napkins, personalized stationary (I love that shit too, Sara) the  Zodiac room at Neiman Marcus (home of the blue haired Michigan Avenure shopper--but their popovers are well worth dodging the three pronged canes) low heeled pumps, all white bedding, cashmere cardigans,  broaches, champagne flutes, refusing to address elders by their first names....yep, I would love anything of your MIL suggestions...except the coffin.

 Because of my love for you all and this blog, I am taking a break from my crap paper to announce tonight's top gift suggestions.  Consider this your MIL Christmas wish list and whatever you decide to get for your mother in law, please pick up an extra one for me to give to mine. Here's a little aside: I have a great friend in Ohio named Roger who had a beautiful store full of lovely gifts and personalized stationary (he still does my William Arthur Christmas cards). Every year, I would go into his store and choose a thoughtful, fairly expensive gift for my mother in law: orrefors bowls, sterling silver broaches, inlaid frames with photos of the children, and once even one of those backrests that you put on your bed (some call them a "husband") monogrammed of course. She never really liked any of them, so finally, it got to the point that I would go into Roger's store and say: "Can you just find me a $30 gift that my mother in law will hate as opposed to a $100 one that she will hate even more" . So, here's a little mother in law pointer from me to you: If you are the daughter in law, you might as well pick out a cheap gift for your mother in law because she's going to hate it either way...save yourself some money. All she really wants for Christmas is for her son to call her once a week and tell her that her cooking is way better than yours...go ahead and make the call, Dave Mckeon....it's totally true..
The suggestions for the week are stupendous, very impressive to say the least. It was very tough to choose the top five, so I am wussing out and choosing the top ten.  Now remember, the next step is  for you top tenners and everyone else to log into this blog (a lot) and vote for your favorite suggestion. Please don't let me down with this whole voting thing. This is a highly crafted contest shamelessly put together to bring this blog up to 50,000 hits by Christmas time.  So, let's please bring out the vote. If Chaz Bono can get enough votes to stay in DWTS for six weeks, we should be able to muster up a few thousands hits for this blog.

Before I list the top choices I just have one question: Jessica, who the hell is your mother in law?? And how much must you love her to give her a St. John suit and Manolos??? Seriously, please divorce your Dave and marry one of my sons. I will be your mother in law any day, any time. Do not take this the wrong way, but there is no way this ridiculously amazing gift suggestion can be in the top ten because it is just way too nice for anybody. And I don't want to have to buy this top shelf ensemble for the eventual winner of this contest. To safeguard against that very expensive proposition, I am pulling it out of the mix right here, right now.

Without more ado. Here are the top ten Mother In Law gift suggestions for this holiday season, in no particular order:

1. Broomstick---courtesy of Tricia--still makes me laugh
2. Vosges Chocolates--suggested by Kim/Brenna--these are terrific chocolates and a perfect gift for your MIL--because hopefully she will share them with you. Sometimes, gilt.com will have these on sale on their site. A few months ago  I bought and ate an entire box.  Worth every penny and every calorie.
3. Orla Kiely purse---recommended by Angela--can't wait for my sons to get married if my DILs give me a gift like this.
4. The Claw--a thoughtful suggestion from Jamarcus. Please don't discount this excellent gift--family fun for all ages.
5. Kringle of the month-give this to your MIL, and you, too, can be the happy recipient of a used small kitchen appliance
6. Huge basket filled with MIL Favorites--a wonderful idea from Judy, and think of all the great things you can put in it...(a carton of Benson and Hedges and See candies, perhaps?)
7. Louisville Slugger--ooh, Larry Sanchez, you've done it again. The gift that just keep on giving.
8. Kodack Digital Frame--this really is a great gift--nice job, John---this is not just a chick contest...
9. Anything from Seebecks---Brian Pond--I'm giving you this one. It's a damn fine suggestion and if you go into Seebecks and tell them you need a gift for your MIL, they will not lead you astray.
10. Personalized Stationary----recommended by Sara Pond, who is going to be a real contender in this contest know I love it, so it has to be perfect for all the old ladies

Now remember, get out there are drive the voters to the blog--We need to be able to pick some winners. The voting continues to run until Saturday...vote early, vote often.

I will tally a final score for the week once we get the votes going and  I get this paper done and done

Man, this Penn State thing is just wild.  How in hell can any self respecting person  NOT report someone abusing a child??? And now the campus is rioting over the firing of Joe Paterno...I really am an 80 year old lady because I find this so reprehensible that I can 't even stand it.

OK, NOW IT'S A CONTEST

I am absolutely certifiable for starting a contest right now (who are we kidding? I was always certifiable) but I have this killer idea for an awesome contest and I can't let it go--accounting paper be damned...(page 7 and counting) I will fill you all in on the details of the contest, but before I do, here are the top ten reasons why I have NO business starting anything right now, let alone a big old blog contest:

1. I am only on page 7 of my accounting paper--13 pages to go and I have to turn it on by Friday
2. I haven't even looked at my notes for the accounting midterm I have to take on line before I leave for Haiti on Saturday.
3. I'm going to Haiti (with Nate, Pete and Chris- you know this is not going end well--you know one if not all of us will be getting something---malaria, typhoid, cholera or all of the above. In addition, Dave McKeon is pretty sure that somehow, I will piss someone off and either get shot or kidnapped--either way he reserves the right to say "I told you so" and to negotiate with the kidnappers to lower any ransom demands.).
4. I am currently about 300 pages behind in my reading for my Law class--(little aside--I am super miffed that I did not get the highest, or even the second highest grade in my law class on our midterm--I have a freaking law degree....WTF???)
5. Over the next month, I have to take and hopefully pass all of my finals (that's the plan, anyway)
6. I stupidly agreed to write some chapter for some bogus book that one of my professor is publishing (what was I thinking?? ..book deal, that 's what I was thinking)
7. I haven't cooked a meal in weeks and my kids are living at the wing stop.
8. I am doing Thanksgiving at my house (again, seemed like a good idea at the time) 
9. I am old and continually exhausted (nothing new here)
10. These blog contests take a ton of time, and I have none left.

However, these are the top ten reasons why I should do this contest:

1. I promised John Heinzman that I would
2. My blog friends always make me laugh
3. Louis and Judy Pulera haven't thrown down for months now
4. Angela will be up all night with the baby and needs something to do
5. Barb Clark hasn't won a Burberry scarf yet
6. I miss Stacy and her jokes, Tina Lampe and her niceness, Brenna and her gracious comments...and all of the Stedsmen
7. Sleep is unnecessary and over rated
8. It's an awesome contest--I'm not kidding
9. Without a contest I cannot be trusted to ever post a single word on this blog
10. All I want for Christmas is 50,000 hits

So, because the pros so outweigh the cons, I am starting, right this minute, the Merry Christmas to You and Me Contest. (MCYMC) This contest will be a great help to everyone during the always hectic Christmas season.  Moreover, it is totally engineered to make the ticker on the blog go through the roof.

 Here is how it's going to work.  Every Saturday or Sunday (cut me a little slack here, ok? my schedule is crazy and I never do my homework until the last hot second so while my intentions may be good, I don't want to be totally locked into some schedule that I can't make workand I don't want John Heinzman riding my ass for being late with a post) I will name a category of items and you all must make recommendations within that category for great Christmas gifts, hopefully complete with a little description and where to buy said gift. See how this benefits everyone? Then, later in the week, (probably on Wednesdays) I will narrow down the entries to the top five and then, from Wednesday until that Saturday, every one, every where (you all included) gets to vote on the ones they like the best.  Points will be awarded for every entry, bigger points will be rewarded for the top five and then HUGE points will be awarded to the weekly winner. As we get closer to Christmas, and I finish my school semester, I will probably narrow the time table, but for now, this is all I can realistically commit to...

Here is an example: Let's say the category for this week is Men's Accessories- then, all of you guys send in legitimate ideas for great Christmas gifts in that genre--John Heinzman will say "Hermes tie", Judy Pulera will say "Tiffany engraved cuff links" , Chris McKeon will say "Filson belt", Dave McKeon will say "Fifth of Jack Daniels", Angela Fitzpatrick will say "BabyBjorn", Brian Pond will say "Kardashian sister"  ...you get the idea. You can enter as many times as you want as long as it is a new entry. Also, please try to come up with new ideas and not items I have put on my top ten lists before--Hey, I have very limited time this year and I am counting on all of you (this means you, my new bestie Jessica with the over the knee boots) to find some great loot that I can click and buy AND, because I  really am seriously trying to get 50,000 hits before Christmas, PLEASE encourage every one you know to vote--early and often. Finally, if anyone has any hard to buy for people on your Christmas list, feel free to suggest an appropriate category so we can, as a loving group, help you with your Christmas shopping needs.



Oh, and in terms of the prizes, I will be culling them from the suggestions you all provide--so, let's get some good ideas here. The gift you suggest, just may be the gift you end up winning... how's that for incentive??

So, the very first category in the MCYMC is: BEST GIFT FOR A MOTHER-IN-LAW...I know it's a hard one, but we might as well start with a bang...this is one that I'd love a few (hundred) suggestions for, so have at and give me your best ideas...and remember, try to give some supporting details so others can use your suggestions...

The Christmas season has officially begun--the contest is ON!  good luck, go shop and make me proud.