PICTURE THIS…TOP TEN

Man, you guys are good.  Once again, it's the first day of a contest and I'm in too deep.  There are many, many captions and there is NO way I am going to be able to narrow it down to 3.  To quote Pope Francis: "No f'ng way!" (He didn't actually say that, but this papal f'bomb is going to last me a lifetime) I easily could pick 20 great captions... from Joann's entries alone.  Just a word to our vaunted competitors: Joann  has come to play. She's consistent, racks up quantity points with the best of them (and by that I mean John and Judy), and seems to have a savant-like recall for very appropriate quotes that make the judge(s) laugh. You had me at Beefy Weefy.  And though I have never seen the Walking Dead, you played those lines like a real pro.  Obviously, this is not your first rodeo.  And your use of the Deliverance quotes was masterful.  (Aside: I have never seen the movie Deliverance in its entirety-- it's just too scary, creepy, awful for me to watch the whole thing.  Dave McKeon knows if he wants to make me shutter, all he has to do is say "Squeal like a pig" in a southern accent and I am covering my ears and cringing.)   Nicely played. Be afraid, Dear Readers, be very afraid. But let's see if she can hold on for the long haul.

 John, Judy, Tricia, Stacy and Kim, welcome back. We know your stamina, your consistency and commitment. Good Luck. However, I am super impressed by the new comers: Linda, Jessica, Kim Westpal (who frankly could really kill in this contest) and Mr. Del Fava--welcome to the big time. It's only going to get better.  Jamarcus, if you are going to play the quantity game--and I have seen it work for you EVERY Easter---you better get out of bed before the crack of noon on game day and work the blog.  The J Triumvirate kicked your ass today--though you had a few good lines.  Good luck logging into the blog while you engage in Spring Break debauchery in Punta Cana (wherever that is).  That Tory Burch tote will not end up in the hands of the weak and uncommitted. This is a marathon, not a sprint.  And I for one, am excited to see how it all plays out…

Because there were so many great captions, I called in a consultant. We conferred, we discussed, we debated.  We laughed our asses off--and I'm not going  to lie, it was a real hard choice.  That's why this post is going up later than I expected. I should not be surprised, and yet, I am.  EVERY time I run one of these contests, I can't stick to my own rules, because of the vast quantities of great entries. ( I need Judge Wendy, from Nerdy Wordy  to keep me on track.  Instead, I have Nate)--so, after a late night deliberation, here are the TEN captions we like best (in the order in which they were posted) and rather than 20 points each, these clever captionist, (it's a word, look it up) will get 10 points apiece (because otherwise, some people will have like a million points come Easter Sunday, and well, that's a lot of points) These top 10 captions will move into the lightening round, where everyone and anyone can and should vote.  Again, I'm not sure how the whole voting thing will work--and I honestly don't care if people vote on the Facebook, with comments--just so I don't have to choose the actual top three.  It's just too much pressure.  Bottom line- try to get your friends, family, co-workers, random strangers to vote for their favorite captions. And try to get them to do it in the comment section if they can, but I will add up Facebook votes, as well, as long as they are attached to the original FB post of this entry.  People can vote early, often, repeatedly etc.  And like everything else about the blog, we'll see how it all shakes out.  "And now, the WICKEDLY talented…." (wasn't that John Travolta slip up the best?)

BEST 10 CAPTIONS FOR THE HILLBILLY PHOTO  ...in the order in which they were posted:

"I thought he'd be happy being a Daddy"   LHantke

"What's done is done, Nicholas"            Jamarcus

"He got a real pretty mouth, ain't he?"      Joann

"Granny, what did you do to Colonel Angus?"     Tricia

"Ellie May and Grandma were the first to arrive and enter the tomb. Jesus was still there but for an unknown reason he was dressed as a cowboy. Then it hit them.  On the way to the tomb, they saw a police officer, a construction worker, an indian, a biker and an Army man. That's Lentertainment!!!"       John

"Seriously?!? Another Dick Cheney hunting 'incident'?"        Jessica

"Worst first date ever."     Judy

"Who's 'King of All Sports' now, Putin?"                Joann

"No, no, no, Ellie Mae! I said, 'Show him your RUBIES.'"   Stacy

"Ok Granny, you can have his feet because yours seem to be missing."  Mr. Del Fava


You've read them, you love them, And no go out and get people to vote on them. Please.  

Here's the scoring thus far: If you find a discrepancy, take it up with the judges.

                        Quantity points                        Quality points                    Total
Joann                   26                                               20                                 46
Judy                     23                                               10                                 33
John                     22                                               10                                 32
Jamarcus                9                                               10                                 19
Tricia                      8                                               10                                 18
Linda                      4                                               10                                 14
Kim P                     2                                                                                      2
Kim W                    2                                                                                      2
Jessica                   2                                                10                                 12
Stacy                      1                                                10                                 11
Mr. DelFava             1                                                10                                 10
Michelle                   1                                                                                      1

"And Viacom has 400 points…which is pretty good" Honestly, we could have picked 30 captions.  There were so many good ones.  Excellent work done by all.  Now, we leave it in the hands of the voters.  So, those of you in contention, get out the vote.  Hey, and if you all have any brain storms on how to get massive voting on this thing--let me know.  I may award you Viacoms points….

And if anyone can figure out how to make columns in this blogging format, you can have Griffendor's  points too, because I have just spent an hour trying to line up these figures--on the template there is no feature for columns--that I can find, so I have to space them all out, and even when they look fine on my end, the minute I publish, they are whacked…It's driving me crazy….And, we all know my limitations with technology.  Seriously, if someone can figure out how I can just drop in points and have them not look like they were done by a dizzy preschooler, I'll ship you a Tory Burch bag tomorrow. 

I assume we will work all the techno kinks out soon enough, but for now, Enjoy these top ten and get out the vote.   And because I got this post up later than expected, we will extend voting through noon on Sunday.  Results will be posted Sunday night, and the new photo will go up on Monday.  And then the fun begins all over again.  That's Lentertainment.