Thursday, March 20, 2014

PHOTO FIVE--New Yorker Style

Admit it…you are all super impressed that I picked that Harvard game. Me, too. I also called that Dayton-Ohio State contest. I know, it's like I'm psychic or something. I wish I'd filled out the billion dollar bracket. That billion could really come in handy.

 I've not had time to calculate the points, extra credit and voting, etc. from photo 4 just yet, (but I should get that done tonight whilst I watch the tourney) however, I do NOT want to get off track again, so I'm posting up with photo/cartoon 5.  I fully admit that this is a total New Yorker rip off, (they have that caption contest in the back of the magazine every week). I LOVE the New Yorker cartoons (I have a love/hate relationship with the actual New Yorker magazine--it's a weekly, has very small print, a ton of words, long as hell articles and makes me feel like a failure if I can't finish it every week.  I don't need one more thing in my life making me feel like a failure--I have kids and a husband for that--but I do love the cartoons) and am always very impressed with the captions people come up with.  I've always wanted to submit one, but am way too intimidated. I think we definitely have some New Yorker caliber captions on the old blog, so let's make this happen and then one of you can enter the New Yorker contest flash your prowess in the face of all those smug highbrows who actually finish their New Yorker before the weekend.  (Hell, I'm still working on finishing the People magazine) I do want to point out though, that the winner of the New Yorker caption contest gets a subscription to the magazine…You all are vying for WAY better prizes. So we got that going for us.

Ok, you have until 5pm tomorrow to get your captions in.  That is 5pm FRIDAY. (I'm not screwing this one up again…this week)

 Let's take this uptown and show those New Yorkers what's what….Caption me.






145 comments:

  1. "Are you sure I'll get to work faster in this?"

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  2. Remember when we used to beat the Russians at everything?

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  3. Sorry about the racket, George. You know I hate to bring work home with me.

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  4. "they said it's not rocket science, but I'll show them!"

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  5. I've had it with those drones. I'm taking them out myself.

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  6. Somebody has to find that darn missing plane.

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  7. What to expect when the Ringling Brothers moved in next door.

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  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  9. My wife said there's a bottle of Maker's Mark down here.

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  10. This comment has been shot down by a rocket.

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  11. Ted's active resistance to rising petrol prices. Exxon can't touch this.

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  12. Nah, getting fired out of a cannon is easy, it's the landing that's difficult.

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  13. I'm testing a new biofuel source. No need to bring your garbage to the curb anymore!

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  14. And Stanley thought he was the Elton John super fan!

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  15. Don't worry. Courtney Love will know where to find me.

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  16. I think you took this whole concealed carry thing too far.

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  17. I want to be the first to Tweet mid cannon-launch.

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  18. Hey John, can you point this thing towards Judy's house? She has too many points.

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    1. I have Too many points, Rob?? For never getting any extra credit so far.....not too bad...lol.

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  19. My company is cutting back on travel expenses.

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  20. Are your pants in a rocket or are you just happy to see me?

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  21. There unconventional approach to raising your property value.

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  22. I won't be able to carpool this week.

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  23. This one is from Becky:
    "What are those McKeon boys up to now?"

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  24. What will State Aid think of next!?!

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  25. Could you snap a photo of me? I want to put it on my Facebook page.

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  26. Don suddenly realized the intense emotion that seized him was indeed rocket envy.

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  27. Allen just took mid life crisis to the next level.

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  28. I'll do anything for extra credit points!

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  29. No, that is not a pocket rocket.

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  30. I'll never be canonized by the church, so this seemed like the next best thing.

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  31. My wife said no motorcycles, she never said anything about a cannon.

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  32. When you said you like to shoot up I thought you had a drug problem.

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  33. "Oh hi Russ, I'm just fastening my seatbelt now because this shit is about to get real."

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  34. Just giving it a trial run before the church festival.

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  35. "George, I know you love celebrating the 4th of July but isn't this getting a little carried away?"

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  36. I'm not insane. My mother had me tested.

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  38. "It's fun times like this that makes me regret dropping out of Aerospace Engineering School."

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  39. "I can't take it anymore, I'm out of here!"

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  40. When it absolutely positively has to be there overnight....

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  41. "I've been reading that we need to learn where we truly come from."

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  42. "Are you sure that's made of Lego's?"

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  43. Mr. Polowski, when I said can you help me build a polish canon I think you misunderstood me.

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  44. "Oh hi Ralph, I'm just getting ready to leave on a short trip."

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  45. Every fall, Bill comes up with new an creative ways to clean his gutters.

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  46. Really Frank, a colonoscopy is much easier.

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  47. "I'm just brushing up for my interview with NASA."

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  48. Business class just isn't what it used to be.

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  49. When Hank told his wife he would bring her the moon and the stars he had no idea she would provide him with transportation

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  50. "Don't forget to put your helmet on!"

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  51. "I'm trying to get my mind off of smoking!"

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  52. "Hi Ralph......this is on my bucket list!"

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  53. "I'm trying to correct my projectile dysfunction."

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  54. "Hey Ralph, could you call Mission Control and tell them that my mission is ready to be accomplished?"

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  55. It's my new system to burn clean garbage.

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  56. "It's okay Ralph, I learned this on uTube!"

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  57. "hey, if you need a light let me know."

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  58. WHAT....I ran out of frequent flyer miles!

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    1. Got up at 5AM just to get these entries onto the blog! Love this...Lentertainment is so fun!

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    2. Susan, I am so glad you did. You are a riot and a very worthy competitor.

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  59. "Did I mention that I have a new hobby?"

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  60. Hey neighbor...what do you think? Should we add this ride to the carnival at the parish festival??

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  61. "I've decided to reach for the stars."

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  62. Don't forget to put your phone into cannon mode.

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  63. Could you call Houston for me and tell them I have a problem?

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  64. I found my helmet, have you seen my keys?

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  65. Ironically it didn’t come with OnStar.

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  66. If you don't survive can I have the ladder?

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  67. "I'm just keeping up with the Joneses."

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  68. Father Tom's penance sure are tough.

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  69. After the closing of Grease, Pete tried anything to stay in the spotlight.

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  70. I thought I was ordering a printer but since it's here I might as well use the cannon.

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  71. Even though Bill's bracket blew up on day one of March Madness he still has the opportunity to win 1 Million Dollars as the contestant in the Dr. Pepper Cannon Dunk Spectacular during the Championship Halftime Festivities.

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  72. Everyone knows white men can't jump.

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  73. Smile, Google Maps is updating in your area.

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  74. Phil is expecting at least 10 more yards now that he has a Big Bertha.

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    1. Thanks Rob - I'm not feeling this one. Just got my 20 done.

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  75. Living next to a Goose Whisperer can be a blast.

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  77. "She's a beaute huh, Ralph? I found it on Craig's List."

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  78. The last thing Gus heard his neighbor say was "Do you smell smoke?"

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    1. Rob must be butter, because he's on a roll.

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    2. Seriously! And he changes his profile pic to match too.

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  79. I meant Bud Lighttttttttttttttt

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  80. Danny told his neighbor Kenickie "Give it up, there is never going to be a better Grease Lighting".

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  81. Larry suddenly regretted selling his neighbor that life insurance policy.

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  82. I told her that all I wanted for my Birthday was a morning bang!

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  83. Don't worry Pete, page 17,776 of the ACA clearly states that I'm covered for injuries sustained in an accidental or deliberate cannon blast.

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  84. Dave finally finished his time machine as he always regretted not attending Notre Dame.

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  85. My kids made this out of recycled toilet paper tubes after searching Pinterest. But instead we pissed our don draper look alike neighbor off

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    1. Ugh! It should be looks like the neighbors foreign exchange student didn't work out so well

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  87. "I never should have booked that fly-fishing charter for our anniversary trip."

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  88. George.... Did you take your Tourette meds today?

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  89. I've upgraded my potato cannon.

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  90. #11:

    Yep, retirement is great. I'm taking a class over at the technical college.

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  91. I'm living proof you can change careers after 50. My wife is thrilled that I'm getting out of the house again.

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    1. #12 - trying to number them for you now ;)

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  92. #13:

    One small step for man, one giant leap for Suburbia.

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  93. #14:

    Well, I never won the cartoon caption contest. I decided I needed to jump start my life.

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  94. #15:

    Now that 'Breaking Bad' is over, I've got lots of free time to putter in the garage.

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    1. You can replace 'Breaking Bad' with 'Lentertainment'. :)

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  95. #16:

    My therapist says this is the best way to overcome my fear of flying.

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  96. #17:

    No, really, you should try it. It's the only way I can relax after a stressful day at the office.

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  97. Why didn't the circus managers want their human cannonball to quit? They wanted to fire him instead.

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  98. #18:

    Putin is a monster. We can't just bury our heads in the sand, Frank.

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  99. Don't judge me Fred, at least my job is a blast!

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  100. #19:

    What I won't do for my son's school science project.

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  101. Hey, in this job market I have to feed the family.

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  102. The cat climbed up the oak tree at the end of the street again.

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  103. Bill might not understand the Gravity of the situation.

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  104. What goes up, Must come down, Driveway cannon blasting a clown. Talking 'bout your troubles in this lying game, flying through the suburbs let the cannon ball win!

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  105. Cannon - a large gun that shoots heavy metal or stone balls and that was once a common military weapon. It said stone balls Fred!

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  106. Bill, when they said why don't you shoot on over for some cards and drinks they were using an expression. I'd just drive if I were you.

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  107. Laurie, over matched by simple HTML, opted for something a bit safer.

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    1. Is it wrong that I think John's tech jokes are funny? I suffer from the same troubles. And it yielded my favorite word from this whole contest: Lentenbitchedup. I'm still laughing!

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    2. I love this. And I would rather be in that cannon than have to make a chart on this blog.

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  108. #20:

    The unicycle was good exercise, but it was just so boring.

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  109. #21:

    I'm not much of a basketball fan. While you're watching March Madness, I'll be out here perfecting my form.

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  110. Laurie's "thank you" to John for losing her blog. That's what he gets for messing with her chart.

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  111. It's amazing what you can buy on eBay these days.

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  112. Kiddie rides for the block party :)

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