AND THE WINNER IS....

Sorry that it took me until 3:30 central standard time to put up this all important, life changing, Burberry award winning post. I have had a very busy last few days and it has been difficult to find the requisite time to give this Burberry Fitness Challenge Victory post its fair due. Before I announce the winner, I have a few things to say.

First of all, this challenge has been a blast for me, way more fun that I had even anticipated and I want to thank you all for that. This Burberry Fit Club Challenge proved to be a very festive way to gear up for the Holidays and while I did not lose the 10 pounds I had hoped for, I certainly didn't gain any weight and even lost a few. That plus the 10, 700 hits I now have (!!!!) is a huge victory for me. Secondly, you are all great sports. I really appreciate your willingness to get involved in the challenge, to keep the snappy comments coming, to stick with the diet and exercise tips and to interact with one another. I loved the witty repartee and all the back and forth. I promise you at some point we will have a Fit Club Bash and bring all of you together. Louis and Judy need to do a push up throw down at the very least.  Angela, let me know when you are in town and we will set it up. You, too, Louis. It wouldn't be the same without you guys....

Finally, as the Challenge developed, I quickly realized that there would be many worthy contenders. It was purely a strategic move on my part to bring the popular vote into the mix because I seriously was trying to find a somewhat objective way to figure out a winner. About two weeks ago, I invested in some "runner up" gifts to honor those who made a valiant effort in the Burberry Fit Club Challenge, but may not be declared the scarf winner. Then, a few days ago, in a moment of panic and/or clarity and/or genius and/or stupidity  (take your pick depending on your feelings about the outcome of the Challenge or if you are Dave McKeon and have to pay my bills....), I ordered a second Burberry scarf because I seriously was not sure if I could choose a sole winner...So, now, today, I will be awarding prizes to:  Four Honorable Mentions, A Second Runner Up, A First Runner Up and Two Grand Champions. Yeah, you read that right. I am giving out EIGHT, count them, EIGHT, very cool prizes (only two are scarves, but the other ones are FREAKING AWESOME!!!)

Small, but important aside: If you go onto the internet, you will see many so called "Burberry" sites that sell purported "Burberry" stuff, including scarves. Guess what? They are fakes, even the one that looks like the actual Burberry website. I just want each and everyone of you to understand that the scarves won in the Burberry Fitness Challenge are the genuine, certified real deal....no knock offs, no fakies, no nothing. These are for real....and while I probably could have passed off a fake or two, those of you who know me well, know that I could never do it, because while you may not have known, I would have, and frankly, it would have driven me crazy....So, to the very special winners, you've got yourself one heck of a scarf...don't lose it....you're welcome.

Now, back to the Challenge results... Before I announce the winner, I want each and everyone of you to know that I love you all equally and every single one of you is a champ in my book, but there are only so many scarves I can keep under Dave McKeons' radar and I think two is my limit. With out further ado, I present to you, the winners of the First Annual (? !) Burberry Fit Club Challenge starting  with the

FOUR HONORABLE MENTIONS:

• Mrs. Sarge Lampe--Because she has consistently been the kindest and most encouraging competitor, along with being Miss Congeniality, Tina Lampe wins a very cool "Read and Feed" Bag from Project FEED. This is a special tote bag that when purchased, provides a donation to a child in a developing country with three school meals and three local language books. (Read and Feed--get it?) Pretty swift, huh? Your inspiring weight loss provides food for hungry kids in Africa and books to boot...told you they were cool consolation gifts
• Emily Chiappetta--Emily has proven to be a great sister, great competitor, and a fun inspiration. (marathon, anyone?) Always quick with the comment, Emily wins the white FEED T-shirt, which when purchased, provides 10 meals to a school aged child in the developing world. It's a very cute shirt, Emily, and makes a very fine statement about your fitness level and commitment to world hunger.
• Katey Caspar--Katey just makes me laugh. She has a great attitude, admits her caloric failings, and got kind of hammered at our school auction, because she did not have enough food in her system. Katey wins the black FEED t-shirt, because to be honest, the white one looks a little see through and, no offense, Katey, but Emily may be able to pull off the "see through" t-shirt look a little easier than you....being a mom and all,you don't want to embarass your boys with a "super, slutty mom outfit"
• FF, Brian Pond--Because Brian totally cracked me up, and because he has the best name, and because he was the only other competitor besides me eating donuts, I award him a men's black FEED T-shirt (but it looks super small, so you may have to give it to Jordan....sorry, but on the up side, some African kid gets 10 meals....possibly donuts?) 

Nicely done Honorable Mentions, now ON TO OUR RUNNERS' UP:

• SECOND RUNNER UP-- Maggie Nickels--she commented all the way from a foreign country, she vaccinated el ninos, she will be living in a Jesus shrine, AND she got a shitload of votes, courtesy of Louis. Though she did not comment as much as others, her comments were high quality and her vote count was massive, Maggie wins an original Project FEED burlap bag AND a t-shirt. The original FEED bad feeds one child for an entire year in a developing nation. So, every day, as you are carrying that bag around, Maggie, one little kid is eating all the calories that you avoided to earn the bag....Congrats to you!!! Sorry no scarf, but the Bag is pretty awesome.
• FIRST RUNNER UP--Louis from St. Eds--Louis was an amazing competitor, the best weight loser by far and an excellent commenter. He did not garner the votes that others did, but was extremely gracious in voting for others. For his fine efforts, Louis will receive the black FEED t-shirt AND because Project FEED doesn't have much stuff for dudes, Louis will also receive a $50 "Lettuce Entertain You" Gift Certificate, so Louis can celebrate his weight loss at any of the fine Rick Melman establishments. Louis, you've been just great and I am really proud of you. I'm sorry your mom won't get the scarf, but you can tell her from me, she has a very fine son. Please send me your address ASAP so I can fire off your loot....Well done, runners up....And now..... OUR WINNERS ARE....DRUMROLL PLEASE..... (like this is any huge surprise...)

ANGELA FITZPATRICK AND JUDY PULERA!!!!!!

• Angela obviously had the whole husband in Afghanistan thing going, but even beyond that, she was ever faithful to the comment, very positive in her attitude, super admirable in her work out and diet ethic. Moreover, Angela totally rocked the vote. She got many others involved in the blog to post up votes in her name. She was a great contender and I must admit, I am in awe of her single mom, working mom, husband over seas life style. I think everyone can agree that she deserves a Burberry scarf...and then some. Angela, please send me your address IMMEDIATELY and I will ship it pronto...You have to promise to send us all photos of you, the scarf and Brendan upon his homecoming. Merry, Merry Burberry Christmas to you....and give Brendan our love and support.
• Judy Pulera is the total master. She not only worked the fitness angle like a pro, but she owned the comment section and ruled in the voting process. She had more people voting for her than John Kerry. It was awesome to behold. She represented the cougars with dignity, class and a competitiveness that was bordering on scary....Further, she can do like a million man style push ups. She totally earned her scarf, and I will drop if off whenever and wherever she designates.  Huge congratulations, Judy...you deserve it. Now, one last request, please wear the scarf to Boot Camp and let me take a picture to post on the blog....

That about sums it up. I will send/deliver the winners bounty this weekend. Seriously, great job Burberry Clubbers. And don't abandoned the blog... Many, many fine fun posts will be coming soon during the holiday season and into the new year...thanks again for the fun...

Today's Top Ten:

1. Judy and Angela
2. Louis and Maggie (nice little ring to it, eh, eh,?)
3. Tina, Emily, Katie and Fat F*ck Pond
4. Burberry Cashmere scarves---the real ones...they are awesome
5. Project FEED
6. Kids in Africa with full bellies
7. All the great people who cast votes, made comments, and hit the blog
8. All of those like Brendan Fitzpatrick serving our country with honor and valor
9. Luke Fitzpatrick Parker---latest addition to the family, we can't wait to meet him
10. Posey McKeon--Posey turns 11 tomorrow and she is without a doubt the greatest Christmas gift we ever received...she is truly an undeserved joy.

ONLY A FEW HOURS LEFT!!!

Okay, people we are down to the final few hours. Who's it going to be? It's up to you, up to me and up to the voters. WOW! talk about your full fledged pressure. Again, the voting officially stops at midnight CENTRAL time. Then I will spend all night tallying votes, comments, weight loss, attitude, cleverness, human interest, and every other permutation and combination (kind of like the BSC formula) and declare a winner!!

Just a few reflections on the competition that started WAY back in November To recap:

• The competition was started so that I would have a support group while I tried to lose 10 pounds by Christmas.
• I had the additional motivation of getting a ton of followers and hits to the blog  
• No one was all that interested in joining my Fit Club until I threw in a big, fancy, cashmere bribe.
• Once the Burberry came on board, it was all "Game On"
• Over twenty fine competitors staked their claim in the Challenge- 
• Some of you are FIERCE competitors
• Some of you not so much
• Some of you know a ton about protein, weight loss, weight lifting, diets....
• Some not so much
• Some of you are VERY nice and actually super supportive people
• Some of you are not so much
• Some people actually lost weight
• Some not so much
• Some of you started out strong and then kind of fizzled out (oh wait, that's me....)
• Kristi Ambro's red velvet cupcakes are worth being fat
• Nora Nickels coached Wendy Nickels into becoming a commenting champ
• Jeannie has a twenty three pound baby!!
• Casey loves the Christmas cookies, but still lost weight
• Sara Pond loves Tosh.0
• Amy Davidson had one good day on the blog, then must have found another source for the scarf
• Her life coach Jane McTernan is still drinking black coffee and eating undressed lettuce
• Frank came out strong and then dropped off the face of the blog....What's up with that, New York?
• Kevin Moyer got the boot for being too skinny
• Kevin Moyer got Cheryl's cookies from the Fit Club Commissioner
• Angela has a husband in Afghanistan that she BARELY ever mentioned....
• He is coming home in just two weeks
• Angela needs the scarf to complete her "Brendan's coming Home Outfit"
• Angela's 2 year old can use an Ipad, yet many many followers never figured out how to post a comment
• Angela's nanny Meg is earning her keep by voting every chance she gets
• Katey has a "Safe Food List", (which she never did actually share) and a HUGE guilt complex about Angela's husband
• Emily is running a half marathon....again
• Emily is a good sister to Angela
• Judy Pulera promised to wear the scarf to Boot Camp if she wins it
• Judy Pulera's husband is an awesome voter
• The Pulera sons are turning out just like their dad
• Cheryl Parise loves her date nights and still owes me some jam
• Louis lost the most weight---yeahhh!!
• Louis also had the chippiest attitude---booo!!
• Louis wants the scarf for his mom---yeahhh!
• Louis is Maggie Nickels BFF
• Maggie Nickels is vaccinating ninos in Mexico 
• Maggie is NOT nor ever has been a gordita
• Maggie is rooming with a Bible thumping, Jesus loving sophomore (not that there's anything wrong with that...)
• FF Pond had the best name
• FF Pond kissed Sarah Palin--said kiss is on the YouTube
• FF Pond eats the free donuts
• Stephanie Chirbas lost 8 pounds but could never figure out how to post a comment
• Barb Clark had many snarky comments but couldn't get them to show up on the blog
• Larry Sanchez and his life partner Balthazaar Fleming are busy crocheting their own pot holders for their friends and family for Christmas
• Meg is making me a purse!!
• Sue Chiappetta sandbagged for the entire competition until last week (nicely played), but has an enormous vocabulary
• Jamarcus McKeon better make the Dean's List
• Tina Lampe wins Miss Congeniality
• Dave McKeon is not a pussy--just ask him, but Tom ("The New Face of Uggs") Brady is
• I got 10,500 hits!!!
• The Burberry Fit Club winner will be unveiled in less that twelve hours

You are one inch away from the finish line, Clubbers. Don't give up now. You can do it, I can do it, we can do it. Three hours to go....make them count.

Today's Top Ten:

1. Tag Huer watches
2. Stila Lip Gloss
3. Sweets of Lake Forest Toffee
4. Prosecco Punch
5. Advent Calendars with treats behind each day
6. Citizens of Humanity Jeans
7. Amy and Mark Parker's new baby
8. Velvet Blazers
9. Mrs. Passerelli--awesome seamstress
10. Christmas Cookies

Have a great night and vote it up!

30 Hours and Counting...

Holy Mother of God, (and I mean this in the most seasonal way) this blog is going crazy!! Well over 10,000 hits and many more coming. My life has gotten absolutely out of control, I am heading to another meeting (who holds budget meetings the week before Christmas??) and I have exactly 10 minutes to write this next post...Here goes:

• Angela and Judy and racking up the votes
• Louis is backing Maggie Nickels ?!--and has lost a ton of weight
• Tina Lampe is the peacemaker voting for everyone--excellent strategy and VERY Christmassy of her
• Sue Chiappetta is making up words (why?) and voting for her girls
• Meg is making me a purse...YEAH!! and is a terrific voter
• Emily has finished her finals and is officially a second semester senior
• Annie is making paper dolls and her dad couldn't be more excited to be paying a ton of college tuition for that educational project
• Maggie is non communicado somewhere on a beach in Mexico, but Louis has her back
• Larry Sanchez is a fake
• FF Pond has gone underground
• Casey has jumped back in
• Katey Caspar is feeling some heavy duty Angela guilt
• Judy Pulera's got a serious fan club and her husband, neighbors, sons and almost relatives are VERY techno savvy
• I've got 10,300 hits, but in reality have still only lost 3 pounds--could be because I ATE A BLOCK OF FUDGE FOR LUNCH THAT WAS THE SIZE OF A BRICK...
• Kerry Gapinski still makes me laugh
• Jamarcus McKeon better get straight As
• Pete McKeon has gained 10 pounds since this competition started....the apple doesn't fall far from the tree and all that...
• Jake and Henry have snotty noses, but are still able to pull the voting lever for their mom
• The Burberry scarf is SUPER soft and sitting in my closet, waiting to be shipped to the winner

GOOOD  LUUUUCCCKKK TO ALLLL OF YOU---TOMORROW IS THE BIG AND LAST DAY!! MAKE IT COUNT!!!

Ten minutes and done: Super Special Top Ten List Tomorrow

We are Soooooo Close....

IT'S GO TIME. We are in the home stretch of the Challenge and that scarf is sooooo close you can feel its cashmerey goodness.... There are only four full days left in the Burberry Fit Club Challenge and I am assuming that you will all be making the most of them. (Louis, good luck balancing this life changing challenge with your future changing finals. Seriously, I do not want to be responsible for lowering your GPA....)The polls officially close at midnight (central time) on Dec. 16th. So now is the time to rally all of your family, friends, frenemies, nannies (I'm talking to you, pursemaking Meg) and freeloaders and convince them to cast many votes for you in the Challenge. I am going on record to state my disbelief that Sue Chiappetta has not mastered the comment section of the blog. Seriously, if Wendy Nickels figured it out, I'm pretty sure Sue can too. Like I said, I've seen Sue in action, she has a ton of tools, she throws a mean party, she can decorate any surface, and can snapfish at will. Voting on this blog should be a breeze. Make it happen, Mrs. Chiappetta.  There are a whole lot of voting hours left in the next few days, and it would be a crying shame if Angela lost by a vote or two....(maternal guilt, the most powerful motivator on earth). Nice work, Pulera Men, voting in mass for Judy. That's the sort of dedication I'm looking for....McKeon boys, take note. Let's hope you  treat your own mother with such kindness...

To all of you in the challenge, don't forget to make your comments,  post your diet tips and stake your claim for the holiest of holy, coolest of coolest Burberry scarf. Now is the time to kick it to the finish line. Don't hold back, go full tilt and don't leave any gas in the tank. You will be eaten up with regret for the rest of your life if you don't go all out in pursuit of this scarf. And frankly, I don't want to be responsible for anyone's lifelong guilt...or in patient therapy bills...Focus, visualize, do not be deterred by Christmas chatter. Buckle down for the next four days, and win this thing...

Now, for your entertainment pleasure, I am putting in this posting another column that I wrote for the Kenosha News a few years back. It is a very timely little piece about Christmas. Obviously I was in a foul humor when I wrote it, (shocker there) and while it is still somewhat amusing, the good news is, I have gotten rid of the battitude and am basking in the joy of this season---yeah, that's right, the Burberry Fit Club Season....

Sunday Morning Column from Dec. 2007:

HOHOHO.  Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and every other perfectly appropriate, non offensive seasonal greeting.  Only 8 shopping days left until Christmas and I’m no where near ready.  Please believe me when I say that I’m not usually a Scrooge, but for some reason, this year I’m waving the white flag.  I’m just plain giving up. I don’t want to shop, cook, wrap, carol, bake, or holly jolly. I am the ultimate Bad Santa and can’t seem to get over it.  While the rest of the world is feeling peace on earth and good will to man, I’m just feeling tired, stressed, cranky, over weight and broke.  Frankly, though I know this is “the most wonderful time of the year”, a time for peace, love, joy and brotherhood, I find that I really can’t stand much of any one.  So rather than counting my blessings this year, (oh, don’t worry, I know how lucky I am. I just don’t need another viewing of It’s a Wonderful Life to remind me), I am creating my own naughty list filled with all of the people who should be getting coal in their stockings this holiday season. Here they are:

 1: Anyone who’s finished their shopping, especially those jerks who have been done since Halloween. 

 2: Anyone who’s finished their wrapping, cards, baking, decorating, holiday cooking and cleaning. Just shut up already.  We know you are superior.  There, I’ve said it out loud, and it’s even in the newspaper. Now get on with your perfect lives.

 3:  Anyone who sends me a gift that I didn’t already buy for.  Man, you’re killing me.  Now I have to find something for you in my random gift closet.  I hope you like the unicorn webkin.  It’s all I have left.

 4:  Anyone who expects me to wrap their gift.  If what you want can’t fit in a gift bag, you’re not getting it from me.

5:  Anyone who expects a thank you note.  Listen up, anyone who gave me a gift, is thinking of giving me a gift, has ever given me a gift, has ever thought of giving me a gift, please consider this column to be your thank you note.  I’m not kidding.

 6. Most of my family. They are all coming for Christmas Dinner and expect me to cook and feed them.  Right now, this seems like an incredibly unreasonably demand. My sister Wendy had the good sense to plan a trip to Europe with her family and will not be at my table.  So far, I still kind of like her.

7.  All of my In-laws.  Please, please, please.  For the love of God, can’t we just do a gift exchange or buy each other a book?  Who are we kidding? Your fifty dollars in cash to me, and my $50 gift card to you, just cancel each other out. How about we eliminate the middle man, keep our own money, or make a donation to charity?

 8. My husband.  He should either have the guts to tell his family to do a gift exchange, (no daughter/sister-in-law can voice these heretical opinions), be forced to do their shopping, or stop complaining about how much this Christmas is costing us.

9.  All the people who lose weight over the holidays because they are “sooo busy that they just forget to eat”.  Sorry, it’s not just me; everybody hates you guys.

10. The person who got the last decent parking space at the mall. I don’t know who you are, but you’re on my list.

11. The whining kid ahead of me in the checkout line. Hey, FYI, Santa is watching, and you, my friend, are a very long way from getting the Spiderman Web World toy that you were crying about back in aisle five.

12. The forty people ahead of me in line at the post office, especially the dude with the eighteen packages going over seas, who keeps changing his mind about buying postal insurance.   Does the phrase “Going Postal” mean anything to you?  It should.

13. Anyone who looks younger than me in their Christmas card photo.  I know that this is totally irrational, because generally most every card that comes has a killer photo, but I still hold a deep seated resentment.

14. Anyone who sends an obnoxious Christmas brag letter telling me that their kid just won the Nobel Prize.  Why doesn’t any one ever write to say that their kid is in rehab, prison, or better yet, just a totally average kid?  I seriously cannot believe that every single child of every single person who sends us a Christmas letter is playing first chair violin with the New York Philharmonic, or center field for the Yankees.  Or both.

15. My editor at The Kenosha News for expecting me to write some precious, festive column about the happy holidays.  Hey, Steve Lund, guess what?  It’s not happening.  You’re stuck with this.   And it doesn’t come with a gift receipt either.  HOHOHO

I hope you all enjoyed this little bit of yuletide levity. I know I did because it saved me from having to write a whole new post here. I've got some serious Christmas shit to get done, like finding just the right grade of coal for Chris McKeon's stocking, wrapping all the gifts for the out of towners, shipping said gifts, finishing my shopping, sending out 250 Christmas cards and tallying the hundreds of votes in the Burberry Fitness Challenge...so, poaching an old column really works for me. I promise to come up with some new material later this week AS WE APPROACH THE FINAL DAYS OF THE BURBERRY FIT CLUB CHALLENGE... can't wait, it's a date, don't be late....

I commend all of you in the challenge.  Admirable effort all the way around. Keep it up, keep those votes coming, and remember, for the next four days, it's all about the scarf. 

I've got to tell you, I am dying here, because it will be VERY difficult choosing a winner. I am hoping that someone pulls way ahead in the voting and makes my job easier. Regardless, I will do what I have to do. ....As promised,  I will announce a winner on Dec. 17th. Then, if necessary, I can ship the coveted scarf out and have it arrive in time to make this year "the best Christmas ever" for our lucky winner. GOOOOD LUUUCCCKKKK, Challengers. I can't wait to see how this one ends.

Today's Top Ten:

1. The Nouvelle "Fresh Cut Fir" scented candle--makes your whole house smell like Christmas
2. The MAC plaid bag filled with lip gloss and balm--great stocking stuffer
3. Larry Lipinski--funniest dinner companion ever. Ask him to sing the "new" national anthem
4. Lemoncello--mighty tasty, packs a punch..
5. Jack McKeon--work horse, AND a show horse
6. "The Classy Christmas" two part episode of The Office
7. Scrambled Eggs
8. The Cartier Love series--ring, bracelet or necklace--makes a great Christmas gift, and last forever
9. Cashmere socks--Garnet Hill has a good deal going right now
10. Snow Globes

Merry almost Christmas, Happy Final Four Days of the Challenge...Let's get ourselves a winner...

the Holiday P**** List--the gift that keeps on giving

Here we go...My stats are going crazy, the comments are through the roof. Over 9000 hits and 193 comments on my last post??!! Well, Merry Christmas to me..I love democracy, I love this country, I love this Burberry Fit Club Challenge.

Judy and Louis have got their PACs together, pulled in some lobbyists and are getting major votes on the tote board. Again, we've got ourselves a race that is just too close to call. Remember, those of you in the Challenge cannot vote for yourselves, but you can vote for anyone else. Also, only one vote per comment....I'm talking to you Jamarcus. It doesn't do me and my numbers any good, if you can double vote in one hit. Sorry. Finally, the following people are allowed to vote via their parents: Joey Parise, Jake and Henry Fitzpatrick. We trust their moms to do what's right. If anyone else needs voting dispensation or special consideration, please let me, the Burberry Fit Club Commissioner, know.

Finally, I have got to hand it to Brendan Fitzpatrick and Paul Pulera...Best. Husbands. Ever....(ok, tied with you to FF Pond...but husband Pulera votes like a man possessed.. and Brendan voted from a war zone. Talk about going above and beyond. Very impressive gentlemen, and nice to know the blog has made it's way to the middle east. Shalom to my people....Hope all of our servicemen and women stay save.

OK, there are less than 10 days until we crown a Fit Club winner and award the coveted scarf.  Keep up the good work, keep losing the weight, and keep driving the populace to the blog. New Rule: International votes count double...(this means you too, Maggie Nickels)

Now, on to today's topic...You've all spent the week boosting my stats, posting your comments, and keeping me amused. I meant to post this blog sooner, but my real life sort of got in the way. I know you've all been waiting for this one and I apologize for the delay, so here we go..., you've earned it,.. The Holiday P*$$y list. I hope it will not disappoint...Merry Christmas, my fine, fine friends...

THE HOLIDAY P*SSY LIST,  You know you are a Holiday P*ssy if:

• You wear a Santa hat in your Christmas card picture. "Look at this p*$$y wearing a Santa hat. I wonder what that poor bastard did to deserve that"
• You wear a Santa hat to the office. "He thinks that Santa hat makes him a hipster...it doesn't. It makes him a p*$$y."
• You wear a Santa hat to a cocktail party
• You ever wear a f*cking Santa Hat...
• You drink egg nog--"I'm not drinking this pussy sh*t. I don't care how much alcohol is in it. It looks like vomit."
• You eat fruit cake "Fruit cake?? Tastes like sh*t, and the name just screams p*ssy"
• You serve either of the above...
• You think it's a bad idea to give your kid's teacher a case of Heineken or a bottle of Jameson  for Christmas. "What?? Trust me...Teachers don't want those p*$$y mugs...If I were a teacher I'd love this gift.  Teacher's pet, all the way."
• You actually want to go to your kids' Christmas concert. "Are we divorced? Am I a p*$$y? No and no. Of course I don't want to go to the Christmas concert."
• You get pissed at the parents who are laughing during the concert. "Tell that p*ssy to turn around and stop glaring. It's not my fault these kids can't sing."
• You need the assistance of mistletoe.
• You spend your Christmas bonus before you get the check. "Bad news, p*$$y, it's a crap economy and you're getting a ham instead of a bonus.  oooops"
• You can't put a bike together with a butter knife
• You can't put a doll house together
• You can't put a pop a shot and a train set together 
• You can't put all of the above together in less than 8 hours, between 10pm Christmas Eve and 5am Christmas morning. "Bring it on, p*$$ies, I am Santa F*cking Claus"
• You forget to buy batteries.
• You believe in gift wrapping. "No, I can't help with the wrapping, because I am not a p*$$y. Just throw the toys into a green garbage bag and put a bow on it. Done and done."
• You help with the Christmas cards. "No, I can't help with the Christmas cards, because I am not a p*$$y. I don't even know any of these people and  the ones I know, I don't like."
• You wear a Christmas sweater...  "That dude in the snow flake sweater can't even look me in the eye, because he knows that I know that he is a p*$$y"
• You wear a sweater that matches your wife, kids and/or pet..."Never going to happen because I am not a p*$$y."
• You put holiday clothes on your dog. "That dog in the Santa hat can't even look me in the eye, because he knows that I know that he's a p*$$y"
• You put your lights up early when it is above freezing. "Only the p*$$ies get out there early, It's just not Christmas unless you are putting you lights up when it's snowing and the windchill is minus 10"
• You miss one second of ANY football game (even Cincinnati vs. Buffalo) to put up Christmas decorations.
• You miss a single Bowl game, even the Maaco Las Vegas Bowl
• You over decorate. "Stop putting all this Christmas sh*t up. You know some p*$$y is going to have to take it all down, and that is not going to be me..."
• You put last year's lights away all tangled up.."Which p*$$y put away these lights?"
• Your Christmas tree has a "theme".
• You give a Christmas gift to your UPS man.
• You eat turkey instead of prime rib on Christmas Day. "Turkey is for p*$$ies. Santa and Jesus would both eat beef on Christmas. " 
• Your Christmas list includes anything that can't be bought at the electronics, liquor or sporting goods store. "No offense, but please, this year, no p*$$y gifts from Neiman Marcus. Just get me some golf balls or a bottle of tequila."
• You take a day off of work to go Christmas shopping.
• You spend more than twenty minutes shopping for Christmas gifts.
• You actually shop in a store. "I'm not waiting in line like some p*$$y. All my Christmas gifts will be bought on line...between 9 and 9:20pm. Done and done."
• You are a guy and you wear UGGs "I hope you didn't pay money for those boots, because those are the biggest p*$$y boots, Ever."
• You wouldn't like to get or give a box of Omaha Steaks this Christmas
• You look forward to the company Christmas party
• You don't know how to ski
• You don't know how to ice skate
• You don't love the Black Hawks
• You wear mittens
• You wear a neck warmer "Nothing says 'I'm a p*$$y' more than a neck warmer"
• You go Christmas Carolling
• You stiff the Salvation Army bell ringer
• You don't own a car scraper
• You don't know how to refill your wiper fluid. "Jack, it's that blue stuff in the jug, you p*$$y
• You can't start the snow blower "Pete, you big p*$$y, you better figure out how to get that driveway cleared off before I get home"
• You don't shovel the whole walk, but just a path to your door...
• You don't throw salt on your shovel job. "The UPS man is going to sue my ass because one of your p*$$y sons failed to throw salt on the front steps....again. It's bad enough that your p*$$y mom gave him a Christmas gift.."
• You set the thermostat above 68 degrees.  "Put a sweater on, p*$$y"
• You don't love Linus in "A Charlie Brown Christmas"
• You are psyched about the office Secret Santa
• You wear one of those knit stocking caps inside. "Look at that Tom Brady p*$$y wannabee."
• You wear a scarf inside
• You wear a shawl neck sweater
• You don't love the Little Drummer duet with Bing Crosby and David Bowie
• You've never seen "The Bells of St. Mary's"
• You fail to appreciate the genius of "It's a Wonderful Life". "What sort of p*$$y hasn't seen It's a Wonderful Life?"
• You don't leave out cookies for Santa  
• You forget to take a few bites out of the cookies
• You don't burn your wrapping paper and boxes on Christmas morning. "Let's go, p*$$ies, collect this garbage and let's light it up. Merry F*cking Christmas to me."
• You don't watch the Heisman awards ceremony
• You don't choke up just a little when they award the Heisman Trophy
• You actually believe that Cam Newton didn't know his dad was pimping him out
• You didn't smile when Urban Meyer resign/retired
• You get hammered on New Year's Eve. "You know what New Year's Eve is don't you? Amateur night for p*$$ies"
• You hate snow (which makes me the world's biggest p*$$y)
• You don't believe in Santa Claus

HOHOHO. Keep the votes coming. Somebody will be finding that Burberry scarf under their tree.

Today's Top Ten:

1. Posey's Fifth Grade Basketball Team--lost in a squeaker 28-2. Funniest sporting event ever.
2. The Kindle--I SO want one of these....
3. Paul Pulera--master of the vote
4. Brendan Fitzpatrick--protecting God, country and Notre Dame..thank you
5. "Teach Me How to Dougie"--my new favorite song...Just need to learn the dance
6. Eddie Bauer down and fleece throws
7. The Human Stain by Phillip Roth
8. Gold and White Monogrammed China--looks beautiful on my Christmas table
9. Wide plaid ribbon
10. Santa Claus

Burberry Fit Clubbers Rock the Vote...

Ok, Burberry Fit Clubbers and all you Fit Clubber wannabees, Listen up!! As we head into the last hurrah of the Burberry Fit Club Challenge, I am going to mix it up a little. Why? Because I can. I am so enjoying the comments, the banter, the Judy baiting and Louis hating, that I want the entire world to be a part of this beautiful, supportive, weight loss driven, diet tip sharing, Burberry aspiring community. Your comments are so well crafted  (Angela, Maggie, Katey...) and your names so awe inspiring (I'm talking to you Fat F*ck--which still makes me laugh every time I read it--could I be any more immature? Spatch cock turkey, indeed...) that I'd like to share them with as many people as possible. Please, let's not hide the light of our collective wit and wisdom under the proverbial bushel....

So, I am incorporating another wrinkle into the scoring of this competition. I must admit, because you guys are all so great with the tips, so quick with the comments, and so motivated that you are losing actual poundage, I am feeling a lot of pressure in choosing a winner here....I can take the pressure, but I'd like to get a little help. Therefore, like my forefathers before me, (the Continental Congress, the Electoral College, American Idol and Dancing with the Stars), I am turning a portion of the judging of this competition over to the popular vote. You heard me right...let's be democratic and bring this one to the people...For the next two weeks, (until December 16th) I want anyone and everyone to be able to put their two cents in on who should win that lovely, oh so lovely, cashmere scarf.

Here's how it will work: From today until Dec. 16th, anyone who is not currently in the Challenge, can vote as often as they want for whomever they want to win the scarf. Voting must be done through the comment portion of the blog. I know this is kind of a pain, as it appears that many, many fine and smart people struggle to use the comment section of the blog, but I can't think of any other way to check and tally the votes. What I am hoping for here is that the friends, families, pets, neighbors, co-workers, colleagues, team mates, room mates and cell mates of all of the Fit Club competitors show their love and support by seriously and continuously pounding the crap out of the blog and voting for their favorite Clubber to win the scarf. Their comments don't have to be funny (that would be an extra bonus) or contain any diet tips. They just need to say something like: "I vote for Fat F*ck" , that's it. They can cast that vote a million times over, all day, every day, if they feel so inclined. I just need to see that they logged into the comments and that they voted. Easy peasy--lemon squeezy...

I'm pretty sure you can see where I'm going with this, because if we all do this right, if we all use the magical and exponential power of the internet to send this humble blog, and AWESOME competition to the rest of the free and uninitiated world, not only will the cyber world be a better place, not only will democracy reign in the Fit Club Challenge, but also, my ticker will go through the roof....And I must say, that would make me just extraordinarily happy. (All I want for Christmas is 10,000 hits...) I am nicely asking, and counting on the integrity of those of you already in the Challenge not to change your comment name and chronically vote for yourself. You can do it, but you'll hate yourself, because you'll know you're a cheater, and everybody hates a cheater, especially me....Also, remember, popular vote will only count as a portion of the total score. I still have the ultimate authority on who gets the almighty scarf. You are all cool people, with many, many well connected and supportive friends. Lean on them to help your cause...and lean on them to help my cause...( "Help me help you..." "You had me at Burberry..." )

I think this will be VERY fun, VERY funny (I just know the Gentlemen of St. Ed's will have a few things to say) and really will help me figure out just who should receive this fabulous Burberry scarf . You have no idea how torn I am...so many great competitors, but only one Burberry scarf....(and I seriously do not think that Dave McKeon is going to let me buy 15 scarves to give away...darn it....) So, in many ways, you Clubbers all control your own destiny, by begging your loved ones to support you in this noble and worthy cause by casting their vote...over and over and over and over.... However, don't forget, I still expect consistent, regular, irreverant, diet tips and comments from those of you in the Challenge. You've come this far, don't wuss out now....

Finally, I am going to announce the winner on Dec. 17th. I know it's a week early and I know it cuts into our weight loss time, but I also know that the lucky winner of this scarf wants to have it under their tree or around their neck before Christmas.  I feel you....so, the winner will be announced on Dec. 17th and the scarf will be shipped or delivered to the winner on that same day.  Man, good luck to everyone. I'm feeling a little nervous on your behalves...this may very well be where we separate the Brandy's from the Briston Palins.....who knows how the people will vote? You've got the college boys and all of their free time vs. the young moms vs. the cougars vs. the rest of the field. The real question will be, who can convince their posse to vote them into victory??? Well, Clubbers, you know what to do....Don't just sit there reading this crap,... GO, GO, get your voting blocks in order and some how, some way, force them to hit the blog and cast their votes for you...and I assure you, there will be no hanging chad in this voting process...

Today's Top Ten:

1. Casey Ferraro--thanks....
2. The steak Chili from Panera--this stuff is seriously awesome and it can't be bad for you because it has those beans in it
3. "Melt With You" the Modern English classic...there is a mash up version that's pretty good too.
4. Low fat ice cream snow man heads...a seasonal tradition
5. Phillip Rivers, quarterback of the Chargers...doing great things for Foster kids
6. The chocolate toffee from Sweet's in Lake Forest
7. The Kate Spade clutch with the bow
8. The FEED project and the original FEED bag...not meaning to tip my hand, but it is going to be a very, merry FEED Christmas around here
9. The plasma car--always a fan favorite, even of the big kids....
10. "What if Jesus Came Back Like That?"--a seriously cheesy Christmas carol that is embedded in the McKeon Holiday traditions...

Time is Ticking....Let's get our Vote on...

Fitness Challenge Update--halfway home...

The Burberry Fit Club Challenge is over the half way mark. We are rounding second and heading toward third. Now is the time for all true contenders to start making their moves. While it is still any body's game and the scarf is still up for grabs, some of you better start bringing your A game, or you will sadly be left in the dust...by Judy, Louis, Angela...and up and comer Tina aka Mrs. Sarge...C'mon, people, this is a bonafide Burberry Cashmere scarf here. Don't let this once in a lifetime opportunity pass you by. Keep those comments and diet tips coming. In these hectic, chaotic days between Thanksgiving and Christmas, when the pressure of the Holidays seems to be bubbling over and sending you back to the freezer for that roll of frozen cookie dough (wait, that's me), just imagine the cashmerey softness of that Burberry scarf wrapped around your newly slender neck and resist the temptation...29 days and counting....

For those of you keeping score at home, here is a brief synopsis of our standings:
The Frontrunners:--Judy, Louis, Angela, Emily, Tina Lampe and some combination of the Ponds--these people have come out strong with consistent comments, diet tips and believe it or not, have actually lost some weight. I am going to include my niece Maggie in this group, because although she doesn't comment as often as some of the others, the quality of her comments are top drawer. Anyone who can include "Jesus Shrine" and "Burberry scarf " in the same sentence and have it make sense, deserves some extra credit. And yes, Judy, you will be getting some style points for bring Cheryl into the mix, (Let's not lose sight of my original intent with the Challenge...to steer people, traffic and that elusive book deal guru toward the blog) Angela, every single time you mention "husband" and "Afghanistan", your stock moves up...I'm not going to lie to you, I just can't help myself. Let's hope Emily force fed you pumpkin pie for the last five days, just to give the rest of the field a fighting chance...Keep up the good work, fellas, your are in the lead, just don't fade now....

The Middle of the Pack--Do not for one hot second count any of these people out of the race...With just a few more comments, tips and sucking up, any one of them can steal the title and claim the scarf...Casey, Jeannie, (and her baby) my sister Wendy, Cheryl, Frank, Katie, Kristi Ambro, Amy, Jean F are all very much still in the hunt. But, if any of you really want this scarf (I'm talking to you, Amy Davidson and Jeannie, you're young, hip and can rock this scarf for many years to come) now is the time to make your move. A comment a day, a quirky diet tip that catches my eye, another comment about the 23 lb baby, use what you've got to keep your chances in play. I highly recommend joining in, taking on or taking down the Judy, Louis rivalry. It's working for Mrssarge....and is proving to be a very effective strategy...

The Stragglers--Hey, for all the rest of you, the one tip wonders, the silent stragglers, those who hollered their way into the Fitness Challenge but did not follow up with the requisite diet tips or comments, (I'm not naming any names here Larry Sanchez...) Do not despair, it's not too late. I saw the movie Secretariat and know that this come from behind thing can work...It may actually even be a strategy. I'm not judging here. 29 days is plenty of time to snatch the scarf and make it yours. Offering up a clever, witty bon mot every day, bringing a friend or two to the blog, taking a literary swing at Louis and Judy, continually mentioning your loved one currently serving in a military zone, or even just making me laugh up my diet Dr. Pepper are all legit and effective ways to climb the score board in the Burberry Fitness Challenge. Don't get left behind.  It's a goddamn beautiful scarf, and everybody loves an unknown coming through at the wire. (Billy Mills anyone?)

To all the Challengers, Good luck, God Speed and for God's sake, hit the blog....

Today's Top Ten:

1. The Stilt Giraffe in the Lion King--we saw Lion King in Chicago yesterday, very cool, along with the cheetah/panther girl...
2. The Santa Claus at 900 N. Michigan--he's for real.
3. http://www.allgirlsallowed.org/  if you too want to be a real Santa this year, donate now to this great organization which protects the rights of woman and children particularly those in China.
4. Tina Burke--had shoulder surgery on Tuesday, otherwise would be kicking ass and taking names in the Fit Club Challenge.
5. Brian Kelly--you all can hate on him all you want, but I give him credit for showing up to work everyday. It's been an interminably long season for him.
6. The lobster salad at the Ritz--so tasty, so healthy,
7. Becky Miller--the world's best babysitter, a true and great friend.
8. Original Penguin wear--having a great sale right now, the downtown Chicago store is full of bargains and Christmas joy
9. Pistachios--lowest fat nut, very seasonal, having to crack them out of their shells has got to burn off some calories.
10. Christmas decorations--breaking them out, putting them up--HOHOHO

Enjoy the rest of your weekend and stay true as we enter into the second half of the Fit Club Challenge...Here we go....

"We're not having enough fun"

Since starting this blog, and particularly since starting the Burberry Fit Club Challenge, I have been laughing my ass off. I must admit, I am having a frighteningly good time with all of this bloggity goodness. I hope all of you are enjoying it, too, because, not meaning to get all sentimental here, life is short, and we all need to have a big, bunch of fun. I have always been a huge proponent of fun and goofing off. (who isn't? this is kind of like saying, I have always been a huge proponent of oxygen...) But, often fun get pushed aside for all of those other competing concerns like food, shelter, healthcare, orthodontia, Haiti, bad haircuts, ACT results, bed bugs, the economic slow down, peace in the middle east, TSA pat downs, antibiotic resistant germs and high fructose corn syrup. I'd like to take the time, in this very post today, to remind us all, to have more fun. Stop obsessing about your job, kids, house, car, 401K (or lack thereof), investments, the deficit.and tort reform and go out and have some fun. I'm not advocating illegal, immoral, destructive or even expensive fun, but just a little attitudinal adjustment. I think right now, as we head into the Holiday season, focusing on some light hearted, well intentioned enjoyment rather than on the doom and gloom of the every day struggle would serve us all well. Hey, that dark shit is always going to be there, I'm not saying to deny it, or be irresponsible about your obligations, but I am saying, keep it in its place, put it in perspective and go out there and enjoy your damn life. Today...

A long time ago, when Dave McKeon first started making some legit money, we went to visit a financial planner that his dad recommended. Remember, this was back in the go-go nineties, when the economy was booming, everybody was making money hand over fist and the McKeon's had access to a corporate jet (shit, I miss that jet). So, we go to this kind of stodgy firm in the city and meet with this very nice man, who is being overly solicitous to us because Dave's dad was a very good client of the firm, and the man says to us: "So, what are your financial goals?" And I say: "I'd like to have as much fun as humanly possible without totally jeopardizing our retirement or the kids' college prospects." He was some what taken aback and said to me: "No one  has ever said that before." (You would be surprised how often I hear that phrase, along with "you are my best customer"--much to Dave McKeon's chagrin). But I  totally meant it, and still do. Not sure if I've actually jeopardized our retirement, (it's debatable) or the kids' college fund (I think Pete will be very excited about attending college on a ROTC scholarship...) but I have had a many, many fun and memorable moments, both big and  small over the years and am recommitting myself to having some more.

***Big and True Disclaimer*** While we did indeed live large in the 90s, (hey, Nancy, do you remember that trip to Pebble Beach with 18 pieces of luggage, not counting the golf clubs?), and had a veritable blast, all of those high end, high jinks business write off days came to a screeching halt by the early 2000s, as the IRS cracked down on corporate perks (curse you, IRS), stock deals and options were held more closely, Dave started his own business, our kids got way more expensive, college tuition went up 200% and  all those bubbles started bursting (dot.coms, real estate, medicine, blah, blah, blah). We have a very comfortable, I'm certainly not complaining, but do not for one hot second think that we are floating on a sea of cash or rolling in the Benjamins. We are not. And even more importantly, don't go asking Dave McKeon for any money because I've already tried it and it's not going to happen. He is a huge proponent of this whole new austerity, belt tightening economy and is imposing that credo to his home life as well as his corporate life. I can understand it, but it still doesn't stop me from missing the corporate jet...****

When we lived in Ohio,  we were always cooking up some fun. My friend Nancy (of the 18 pieces of luggage fame) would call me and say "We're not having enough fun" and then we'd plan some bogus adventure or party or event to liven up the week. As the economy has tanked, the news is bleak, the weather is getting colder, it would be easy to turn your life to gray and block out the fun. I'm telling you straight here: don't do that. Call a few friends, order a few pizzas, buy a cheesy movie on Direct TV, and let the fun shine in. Below is a list of a few fun filled activities for you and your posse to enjoy--some are family friendly, some not so much. You can figure out which is most appropriate for your Holiday season. And because I know that you are all saving your pennies to buy your wives, girlfriends, sweethearts, mothers, parole officer,...a super, awesome, heartfelt, loving Christmas gift, while bringing you hours of sidesplitting enjoyment, none of these activities will break the bank. You're welcome. ...

• have a ping pong tournament
• have a beer pong tournament (only for those over 21...this means you, Chris McKeon)
• play poker
• play jenga
• play "drunk" jenga (only for those over 21....this game is officially copywritten by Kim Westphal)
• play Scrabble
• play profanity Scrabble
• watch old Christmas movies...White Christmas, Holiday Inn, It's a Wonderful Life, ...
• watch new Christmas movies...Fred Claus, Four Christmases, Elf, ("Santa, I know him") even those ones with Tim Allen
• get a big box, hide in it, jump out and scare your friends--I've seen the video of this, and for some reason, it kept those boys in St. Ed's hall amused for hours....
• go see a movie with a group of friends..lots of good holiday fare out there
• play spoons
• play drunk spoons
• play Scattagories...but not with my sister Wendy. She will bite your head off, and get you kicked out of your hotel with her highly competitive and really noisy tactics...
• play flag football outside--just like the Kennedys'...but not at my sister Wendy's or she will not let you back in her house with your stinky clothes and muddy shoes...true story...
• have a Turkey Bowl flag football tournament with your buds
• run the Turkey Trot, with your buds
• deck the halls...with your buds
• buy some carpet skates...these are the greatest, cheapest toy ever...fun for the whole family
• make homemade pizza with a big group of friends, kind of messy, but very fun
• have a soup off, chili cook off, or pasta sauce off...food and fun...do you hear me, Laurie Rafferty, I'm talking to you....
• hook up your ipod with some high octane music and have a dance party....fyi...people dance more when fueled with Long Island Iced Teas...fyi2...for those of you in the Fit Club, dancing is great exercise...
• Go window shopping
• Go get Hot Chocolate or Coffee
• Go Ice Skating
• Watch other People fall down ice skating
• Have a Secret Santa with your friends
• Invite all of your buddies over to watch all of the old episodes of Modern Family, Friday Night Lights or Mad Men. that can be easily purchased on your television...provide cheap eats...see below...
• Gather the crowd for some cheap eats: Nothing says fun like Little Ceaser Pizza, the Box of Burritos from Chipotle, the Family Feast from KFC or a bunch of Jimmy Johns...
• Hop a cheap flight to Vegas (not kidding, there are some super cheap flights out there...)
• Hop a cheap flight anywhere. Best way to change your mental state is to leave town and recharge
• Go see Santa...He will make you happy....I recommend the one at the Bloomingdale's Mall in Chicago...short lines, cute surroundings
• Call a friend and meet for lunch
• Go our to breakfast (cheap meal, great way to start the day) with your favorite people
• Meet up for holiday cocktails
• Mix up some holiday cocktails and have your friends bring over some appetizers--pigs in a blanket,  cocktail meatballs, cheeseball and crackers...the usual
• Read any book by David Sedaris
• Get that "Crafts for Poor People Book" by his sister Amy
• Make some of the crafts in that book
• Not really, unless you really like that whole crafty thing...
• Rent any stupid movie, mute it and make up your own words
• Join the Fit Club, it's not too late, and we are all having a "all the live long day" blast...
• Read this always fun and exciting blog....or just read Mark the Shark Titus's one, It's super funny.

Obviously, the reoccurring theme here is getting a group of people together and letting the fun flow. You don't have to do anything fancy, don't have to spend a bunch of money, you just have to be committed to having a good time. Fourth quarter earnings are going to suck anyway, so you might as well enjoy yourself as your portfolio goes to hell..because "we're not having enough fun."


Burberry Fit Club Challenge Update: the Burberry Fit Club is still going strong and though I did not lose any weight this weekend, the good news is, I haven't gained any...progress at this point. Judy and Louis are neck and neck (pun) for the scarf, Excellent strategy to continue posting comments every day...other competitors take note...Angela is right up there, playing the Afghanistan card with abandon. Her sister Emily is ratting her out, but there is nothing I love more than pitting sister against sister. Speaking of which, Casey and Jeannie are adding their comments, and I must admit, I want to see and feel this 23 pound baby...Jeannie, send a photo and I will put it on the blog...Tina Lampe has proven to a consistent contender and is actually losing weight...nice...Cheryl Parise is an up and comer, she will not be denied, and has many useful diet tips, especially those involving Mangia and 64s. Frank, I don't know how you lost ten pounds already, but I am jealous.


Thanksgiving is looming, and we are basically down to our last month of Fit Club Challenge. Now is the time to ramp it up, suck it up, and buckle down for Burberry. C'mon, Clubbers, don't give up now...Let's go, Ponds, keep those comments coming...I'm waiting to hear a little more from the fabulous Nicole, and a few others...It is still anyone's game (this means you, the incredibly silent Maggie Nickels, don't make me call you a gordita). Keep the Challenge in the forefront of your mind this Thanksgiving because you know that Judy and Louis will be eating white turkey meat and tuna on Thursday...Keep those comments coming...


Today's Top Ten:

1. Nancy Joyce--the best hostess, the best fun, the best friend...
2. Blue Cheese stuffed olives--please don't tell me these are not diet food...they are sooo delicious
3. PURE cashmere--great catalgue and website, and really good cashmere,
4. Levi s501s,--a classic good look
5. Last week's episode of Glee with Gwyneth Paltrow
6. Kate Middleton---nicely played, Waitey, Katie... good things come to those who wait...and her waiting has brought her a Prince...a real one, with a castle and everything....well done 
7. Kate Middleton's dad--way to go, getting Prince Charles to pick up the tab for your daughter's wedding
8. Ben Silver--super old school men's wear catalogue--
9. William Arthur Christmas cards--order them from my friend Roger, he's the master
10. Amanda Clingen--took our Christmas photo, took Annie to the ND game in Yankee Stadium, and wasn't too embarassed to shoot photos in an ice cream parlor...thanks...

Enjoy the post, enjoy the day, now get out there and have some fun...just make sure to invite me...


BTW--the scarf is here, the scarf is beautiful, the scarf wants to go home with you....

That Ship Has Sailed

As promised, I am writing a post that is not all Fit Club, All day...However, don't miss the latest Burberry Fit Club Challenge News at the end of this post, right before the Top Ten.

Yesterday, I dropped my ten year old daughter off at a birthday party. It was a very cute party at a knitting store where all of the girls were given a ball of yarn, some needles and knitting instructions. (I seriously hope Posey figures this knitting thing out, because if the Burberry Fit Club Challenge keeps up the way it's going, she may be knitting up some consolation prizes...). One of the Mom's asked if I could knit. I explained to her that I had tried it once, actually took a few knitting lessons, bought all the knitting paraphernalia and never managed to knit more than two rows of the hat I was assigned to make. I was basically a knitter quitter. She sympathized, noting her own knitting deficiencies and then said, "Well, maybe we can have a remedial knitting workshop to get better". I turned to her and replied:" I am getting older every single day, I have come to the realization, that with the four or five decades that I have left on this earth, I will never learn to knit, and really, I'm ok with that..." Though she was some what taken aback by my bluntness, I have recently come to the liberating conclusion that there are many, many human endeavors that I will never, ever do and I should just come clean about that and stop acting like I will ever do them. Don't you all have certain things that have been in the back of your mind for years that you wanted to do, (buy a Harley, join a steel drum band, run a marathon), things you think you should know how to do, (make your own bread, sew your own curtains, dig a well in Uganda), or things that you think that you may want to do (be an astronaut, break dance, be in a play), or that sound really cool to have done (climb Mt Everest, build a barn, catch a shop lifter) but you've never gotten around to them?

****Breaking News****: A woman from the Chase Bank Visa Fraud Division just called to tell me that someone was using my Visa number for skype transactions...to purchase about $500 worth of techie sort of stuff..(obviously they knew it wasn't me, because I don't know wtf skype really is, let alone how to use it, and I would never buy anything electronic...)Though the card is still in my possession, someone has the number, security code and everything else.  This is not the first time someone has stolen my card and bought shit, and I must commend Chase for always notifying me. The good news is, they can get me a new card by tomorrow. The bad news is that they can get me a new card tomorrow. When Dave McKeon was informed of this situation he asked me to call the woman back and tell her to hold off on doing anything drastic as he would rather take his chances with the thief during the Holiday season than with me--HoHoHo, very funny.


Back to the blog--As I was saying, it struck me that I am currently at a point in my life where there are many things like the knitting that I will just never learn, know or do...Either they are impossible, illogical, illegal, or I've just lost interest...This is not to say that there aren't still tons of things that I will learn (like how to have a blog, how to lose ten pounds, how to put up a tailgating tent while rain is blasting in my face, how to sign a book deal...), but I am forced to recognize, that unlike in my twenties when everything, even really stupid things like running with the Bulls in Pamplona, seemed quite possible, there are now many, many things that I can safely say will just never f***ing happen.

Please understand, I'm totally fine with that. I'm pretty sure if it were something I was dying to do, I would have done it, or will eventually do it (write a book for money) but for some oddball reason, I just find it somewhat interesting to assess all of the possibilities that no longer remotely exist for me. Things that I know I will never, ever do. It's not like a bucket list, because I'm not planning on dying or anything, but more like a "no longer in contention list"  I'm not even saying that these are things that I ever actually wanted to do, but now I just know that these are things that I will NEVER do...the ship has sailed on me ever:

• Knitting, sewing, crocheting, macraming, decoupaging, or any other crafty type shit
• Starting the snow blower
• Mowing my own lawn
• Being Miss America
• Being Miss USA--the one without the talent
• Driving a stick..used to kind of want to know how, now I have no interest as I fear it will make me eligible to be the one to drive the U-Haul every time one of my kids gets evicted or wants to move. (Yes, of course I  know that this makes me a p*ssy....)
• Using the grill
• Qualifying for the Boston Marathon
• Being in the Olympics--even as a curler or archer (I seriously used to think, not really all that long ago, that I could possibly do one of these two things in the Olympics)
• Learning how to wall paper
• Learning how to dry wall
• Becoming a gourmet chef
• Balancing my check book
• Entering the checks I actually write
• Building a robot
• Building  my own computer
• Hell, fixing  my own computer
• Building much of anything, really
• Being a Fireman
• Being a doctor
• Being the President
• Being the First Lady--not that I wouldn't love it...
• Winning the Nobel Prize
• Winning a Tony--may still pull off an Emmy or Oscar, if my book is made into a movie...
• Hanging out with Babe Paley, Slim Keith and Truman Capote
• Eating at the 21 Club
• Being featured on Town and Country's Wedding Page
• Switching to Vonage
• Being a Vegan
• Being a Hippie
• Driving a Vespa
• Swimming the English Channel
• Naming a disease or syndrome
• Discovering a planet
• Reading the entire works of William Faulkner
• Understanding anything written by James Joyce--yeah, yeah, the Patron Saint of Irish Literature...
• Spending a semester abroad
• Renting an apartment with my BFFs for the semester
• Measuring my life by the semester
• Getting  my first job
• Backpacking through Europe
• Backpacking anywhere
• Understanding String Theory
• Caring about String Theory --unless it actually involves clothes
• Being able to pick out any constellation other than the Big Dipper
• Reading a compass
• Calculating a variable interest rate
• Marrying Cary Grant
• Playing State League Tennis
• Winning a footrace against one of my sons
• Being a Notre Dame Cheerleader
• Opening a methadone clinic
• Learning to play the bagpipes--it would be so cool though...
• Learning to play the cello---not quite as cool, but ...
• Learning any musical instrument
• Learning another Language --I am already fluent in English and Profanity, that's plenty
• Learning to play bridge
• Learning to shoot craps
• Doing my own taxes
• Drivng a train
• Riding the subway in DC
• Riding the El in Chicago
• Waterskiing
• Skeet shooting
• Shooting anything
• Going to a Grateful Dead Concert
• Going to a Rolling Stones Concert
• Having my own line of linens--again, would be super cool...
• Having my own line of hair care products
• Getting busted for underaged drinking
• Joining the circus

So listen up all of you youngsters following this blog, if there is something that you think you want to do, know, learn, try, you'd better get on it, because time is ticking away and the next you know, that ship has sailed.

Burberry Fit Club Challenge News:
My personal update: Pounds lost--A big, fat, f***ing zero!! I swear to God I am actually trying. I am working out, eating no big candy bars (ok, there was that bag of licorice, but seriously, I've always eaten bags of licorice), no donuts, even had some salads and NOTHING!! Shit, I can maintain this fat ass weight while stuffing myself with red velvet cupcakes. I'd better see some results soon...Brian Pond, I feel your pain...
In other Fit Club News: Judy and Louis are duking it out with their diet tips.  Nice point/counterpoint. You two may want to get your own blog to continue your scientific analysis of protein...Don't mind the snippy tone, I'm just jealous because you are both losing weight....Angela continues to plug away, Sara Pond is down two, Casey has made some strong comments, Katie needs to turn over the list, Tina Lampe has lost weight, Frank has already dropped ten pounds, but may have put it back on in beverages consumed over the weekend, Maggie and Kristina are at the beach /on a cruise, and Emily is already super fit. I do have some sad news: Kevin Moyer has been disqualified from the Fit Club, because he is so ever loving skinny, that it would seriously be maternal neglect on my part to even allow him to even kid about losing weight. He seriously needs to join the FAT Club. (and if I don't lose any weight soon, I am right behind him) Don't worry, Kevin. I'll be sending you some nice parting gifts... Keep those comments and tips coming. Thanksgiving is fast approaching and we all will need some Fit Club support. 

Today's Top Ten:

1. Kevin Moyer--the first Fit Club Casualty
2. Love Actually--a great  movie, kind of has a holiday theme. Totally underrated
3. Lou Malnati's pizza--maybe this is why I am not losing weight
4. The Drummer Boy song duet with Bing Crosby and David Bowie--instant classic
5. Jetsetter.com--a division of gilt.com, with awesome trips--looking to book St. Croix for Spring Break
6. The Sports Illustrated article about having a college football Div. 1 playoff--man, that would be great
7. Low Fat shrimp and vegetables from New China
8. Shane Frazier from Kenosha Body Boot camp--he thinks he is my secret weapon, but even he couldn't get me to lose 10 pounds--I am fitter, I will give him that, but no less fat
9. Tina Lampe--couldn't be nicer, laughs at my jokes
10. My fraud protection friend from Chase Bank

Don't forget to keep providing comments updating your results and getting your diets tips in...I need to hear from you all. I'm not just going to give this scarf away...

We are having a Fit Club Bonanza!! This blog is going crazy--posts, comments, tips, throw downs, and weight loss galore...I am living the blogger's dream and have all of you to thank for the over 5500 hits and 78 followers. Thank you, thank you very much. Now get back out there and comment. (interesting turn of events: once the blog went all Burberry Fit Club, we lost every international page viewer except Maggie Nickels and her Gorditas in Mexico...I guess those Slovenians and South Koreans really aren't all that interested in fat ass Americans losing weight for luxury accessories while they are forced to build lead bunkers to avoid the nuclear and biochemical fall out from their trigger happy border neighbors)

For those of you who haven't been reading the comments, (you've got to read the comments, as Casey Ferraro pointed out: "They're better than the posts!") but still want to keep score at home, here is the latest in the Burberry Fit Club Challenge: Louis is down five pounds and seems laser focused on victory, Judy Pulera is pounding the weights and the blog, thus tallying lost pounds and many diet tips, Angela worked the angles and enjoyed a huge Veteran's Day advantage, and Nicole Caruso scored big with the Twinkie diet tip (Really??Twinkies and hohos??). My neice Maggie has made some serious noise with her snappy comments and descriptive language (Deaf Auntie Rose and the whole Firecracker thing??--enjoy the beach). And obviously, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree as my sister Wendy (once she figured out the comment box) has interjected her fair share of witty reparte. Jean Fredricksen, Tina Lampe,  and Kristi Ambro have all weighed in, along with Casey and her sister Jeannie. Mr. and Mrs. Pond  are holding their own, while Kristina frontloaded her diet comments because she is cruising,...And the whole youth movement of Emily, Frank, Mike Johnson and Kevin will be sorely tested tomorrow with tortellini soup, Chipotle, cupcakes and Long Islands--good luck, kiddies, see you at the Tail gate... Katie Caspar alluded to the "List" that will magically whittle away my 10 pounds of chunk (Show me the List, Katie) and Stacy Spracklin and Tina Burke joined the throw down. Barb Clark and the Stephanies all stated their intent, but have yet to spar with the others and Amy Davidson is still AWOL. I think she fainted trying to follow the Jane McTernan diet...

So far, this whole Challenge has been a total blast for me. I'm not sure if anyone other than Louis and Judy are actually losing weight (myself included) but that's on you....For me, laughing my ass off at your comments is good enough. If you recall, from post one, I declared my intent to use this blog as a tool for my own amusement and let me tell you, I have not been disappointed. The comments are a riot, the intensity, the call outs, and the throw downs are making my day... and I'm not going to  lie to you, seeing that ticker heading toward the sky brings tears of joy to my eyes. And while no one in this competition actually needs to lose weight (or needs a Burberry scarf for that matter), I applaud you all for embracing the challenge and getting me one step closer to a book deal.   (OK--I just have to interject here: I just saw a commercial for a show called "Bridal plasty"--Holy Mother of God, what sort of world are we living in???) I am very excited to see how this Challenge unfolds...many more days, many more plot twists...It is going to be one major league, awesomely, awesome competition...better than March Madness and way better than the World Series...stay tuned. These Fit Club Contenders aren't going any where any time soon...

For those of you who are still struggling to post a comment, I feel for you. (And for Sara Pond, who has opened her tutorial clinic for the blog impaired,) here is my solution: If you cannot yet figure out how to post a comment, just email your clever, smarty, inspiring, bitchy whatever comment to me and I will cut and paste it into the comment section and of course, give you the credit for your special nugget of wisdom. This is what I did for Wendy, and lo and behold, she mastered the comment...I will do this for you, because I do not want anyone to miss out on this once in a lifetime chance to claim total victory in the Burberry Fit Club Challenge. Do not be discouraged, we can work this out...All comers, all welcome..all in for Fitness...Remember, I need to hear from you...It's the comments that count and the comments that will earn you that little piece of Burberry goodness...

For those of you who don't really give a shit about the whole weight loss thing, (obviously our international crowd) I promise that the next post will appeal to all...would post some more, but have to get up in five hours to watch Utah beat the holy crap out of Notre Dame. However, small price to pay for a GREAT tailgate bash....

Today's Top Ten:

1. Patagonia's "down sweater"--it's really a light weight winter coat but feels like you are wearing a cloud
2. Thor-lo running socks
3. Those little tiny Japanese erasers that look like food, animals and tools, but come apart into even smaller pieces--they probably  have a name but I don't know it
4. Wooden jigsaw puzzles (see Wentworth puzzles..they make great gifts...)
5. Gilt.com---this is a web site with an eclectic assortment of items that are on sale for a few days, everything from Stryvictin to baby toys to cool trips...check it out
6. Chris McKeon---he has brought a very unique demographic into the Fit Club and for that I say...number 6
7. Watermelon licorice--this is an amazing food product--****warning****this treat can and will derail your Fit Club diet...
8. This month's Vanity Fair Magazine
9. Hunter boots--the short ones
10. Nora Nickels--way to keep the Swift news coming...and congrats on the Scuba certification

Comments, comments, comments...

Two Posts in One Day?!!

Two posts in one day??!! Yes, you read that right...You can't pay for this kind of high quality entertainment, though I sure wish someone would. I want to take this opportunity to update the Burberry Fit Club Challenge Roster with a few new entries: (Sure, I could put them in a comment, but the post makes them seem so much more official). Names and bios are below:

1. Emily Chiappetta--she's a fighter, she's super fit, she has a penchant for high end accessories and she is young.  Did all the rest of you read between the lines of her seemingly innocent comment about "after the marathon?" that was code for "I just ran a marthon and the rest of you slack asses did not...be very afraid..." She will be tough to beat, but again, may be derailed by her academic aspirations...she and all of those other Notre Dame over achievers (except possibly Louis) will forsake this blog come finals time...Score one for the grownups.
2. Stacy Spracklin--she logged in as her daughter, which may be an innocent mistake or may be a ruse to lull us into a false sense of security regarding her technological skills. She appears to have some experience with losing ten pounds, and obviously knows her weight watchers quotations. I have a feeling that her presence will be felt in this competition.
3. Mike Johnson--Yet another contestant from Steds. If these men band together, they will be a serious force to be reckoned with. However, it appears that they are easily distracted by any sort of alcoholic beverages...nice to know. I like Mike alot, and I like his mom even more...I wish him all the best in the Challenge...and I must admit, I totally laughed out loud at the Jared reference. (However, while I realize it's an accomplishment just to finish a marathon, just like it is an honor to be nominated, Subway Jared ran a five hour and thirteen minute marathon...got beat by Emily Chiappetta, Kyle Bailey, Tim Nickels, John Mattuecci, Oprah and me....)
4. Pete McKeon--for some odd reason, Pete is insisting on being in this Challenge. As he gained three pounds on the first day of the Challenge, and fully acknowleges and concedes that he cannot/will not win the scarf, I figure: What the hell? Let the shid "participate" in the challenge.  It seems to mean a lot to him and he's not hurting anyone...what harm can it do? (I may live to regret these words...)Merry Christmas, Pete.

As a special aside to Nicole Caruso, no one is counting you out of this race, Missy. Keep the comments coming and you will more than hold your own...That goes for everyone in this Challenge. Your commitment to the comment, and frequency in hitting the blog is every bit as important as weight loss and  actual legitimate diet tips. In the interest of full disclosure, while I am totally psyched to help everyone lose weight and provide a super cool scarf to a deserving follower, one of the totally intended effects of this whole contest is for me to lose ten pounds and to drive an obscene amount of traffic to this blog,....so that I get a book deal. It's your classic win-win--the numbers increase exponentially on the blog, we all lose weight, somebody gets a Burberry scarf, and I am one step closer to a book deal. Everybody is happy....Some what Ayn Randian, but certainly not illegal.. Also, I am seriously amused and entertained by the caliber of the comments on the blog. Who knew that my followers would be so clever?? Please, keep them coming.

Now, to entertain you even further, I have inserted a super relevant past Kenosha News Column Favorite--The McDonald's One. Enjoy, but don't let your commitment to the Burberry Fit Club Challenge waver.

The McDonald's Column

On Monday, August 14^th, 2007, the McKeon family received a shocking blow, and not to be overly dramatic, but life as we know it has taken a seismic shift.   We are all still a little shaken, but we’re rallying.

On this particular morning, I realized that we had absolutely no food in the house—no milk, no bread, not a frozen waffle or an egg to be had, but I wasn’t overly concerned.   I must confess, in the summer, food purchasing, storage and preparation at Casa McKeon is a little haphazard.   I hate wasting warm, sunny days navigating the aisles of Woodman’s, for my usual two cart, $400 visit.  Add on the time it takes to unload and put away all that food, and you’re looking at a three hour ordeal minimum.  So, during June, July and August, you won’t see me in any super market check out line, until we are truly Mother Hubbard desperate,

We had no food, but I wasn’t worried, because, well, we’d been down this path before, and obviously, I had a plan.  We had to be at St. Joe’s by 9am to pick up school packets for the big kids, and then on to the north side for 10:00 tennis lessons for the littles.  Simple.  I would just drive through McDonalds on our way to St. Joe’s, grab some McBreakfast, let the kids eat in the car (no syrup, no ketchup—car rules), run into school for the packets, and on to tennis.  After tennis, I’d bite the bullet and go buy groceries. 

As we headed north on Sheridan Road, our gateway to the city of Kenosha, the route we travel innumerable times a day, anticipating those golden arches, we were shocked, no stunned to discover that McDonalds, our McDonalds, was closed for the next four months. No way!  For the love of God and all things holy, why didn’t any body think to confer with me on this?  A little advanced warning would have been nice, some sort of community forum, possibly, or a psychologist on site to break the news gently. Didn’t anybody do an impact study before taking such drastic measures?     

When my kids were smaller, I was one of those overly smug, slightly irritating parents, who doled out Happy Meals only as a very special treat.  Dinner was usually a home cooked, food pyramid friendly, culinary experience.  And while I still strive for that Betty Crocker perfection, as the kids have gotten older, with schedules rivaling the landing at Normandy, the McDonald’s drive thru on

Sheridan Road

has become our auxiliary kitchen.  And now that it’s closed, some of the McKeon progeny are a little nervous about where their next meal is coming from. 

I know fast food isn’t the healthiest, (although the Asian chicken salad isn’t half bad) but on those days, and there are a lot of them,  when we’ve got a tennis match after school, Junior High football from 4:30-6:30, varsity soccer at the same time, different place, two kids with CYC football practice from 5:00pm- 7:00pm, (GO VIKINGS) and a band concert at 7:00pm, a home cooked meal is physically impossible.   Just making the requisite pick ups and drop offs takes the fine precision of an Indy pit crew. (I know, I know,  today’s kids are ridiculously over scheduled, but we do stick to a very strict one sport per season rule, and no travel teams; however, even that, multiplied by six kids creates a logistical challenge.  And frankly, I’m keeping my kids in organized sports as long as possible, in the hopes that they will be too tired from practice to hold up a liquor store.)

 In all honesty, it’s not the food we’re addicted to, it’s the fast.  We’re always pressed for time, and the Sheridan Road McDonalds, strategically located in the middle of my route, is just so convenient.  Maybe I’ve gotten a little complacent, lulled by the siren song of fast, easy food.  Since that is no longer an option, we’re soldiering on.  I know it’s a stretch, but I’m actually considering leaving my loop and driving all the way to the Pershing Boulevard McDonalds.  Who knows? We may even try Burger King or KFC.  And God forbid, if I get truly desperate, I may even pull out the crock pot.  (But I doubt it)

Hope you liked this vintage column. There's plenty more where that came from. Moral to this story: Staying away from McDonalds will bring you one step closer to the Burberry Scarf and Fit Club Victory....

No Top Ten list with this post....already did one today,  and it could very well be too much of a good thing....However, I  will list one thing that is so  not my favorite--that snotty, mouthy little blond kid in the Toyota Highlander commercials. Seriously, that kid needs a "firm understanding" as my mother would say, and Toyota needs a new advertising agency. 

Keep those comments coming, keep the ticker moving, keep the faith in the Fit Club.

We've got ourselves a Horse Race....

Sorry for not posting yesterday. Some light started flashing in my car saying "Service Ride Control" . I have been driving with the "Service Air Bag" and the "Service Tire Monitor" lights on for weeks now, and I couldn't have cared less.... air bag? Pfftt, tire monitor? whatever....But for some reason "Ride Control" seems kind of major. I was afraid that parts of my car would start falling off, so I had to break down and take it in for service, and it shot my whole day...I am currently driving the kids' Kia and not only do I feel like I am driving a toy, but when I dropped all the kids off at school today, it looked like one of those clown cars at the circus...of course it did.

Now, on to the real reason I get out of bed every morning...this blog. I have to admit, I AM LOVING THE CONTEST!!!  We've got ourselves a real horse race here. And the comments are EXACTLY what I was looking for.  I guess this would be the time where I say "don't begin any fitness or diet regime without checking with your doctor". But seriously, you're all grownups and I'm not going to tell you how to live your lives. I'm certainly no doctor, but I see no medical issue with trying to lose weight to win a Burberry scarf. And frankly, if you want to eat tuna and water to do it, who am I to judge?

Below is a list of the official entrants. If you do not see your name on this list, you are not Nate, Pete or Jamarcus McKeon, and you still want to join in this super fun and VERY rewarding Challenge, hey, it's certainly not too late. Just read the rules in my last post and state your intent in the comment section of the blog. Couldn't be easier.
Here are the official Burberry Fit Club Challenge Members as of today in no particular order, with a little bit of bio so you all know who and what you are up against:

1. Kristi Ambro--excellent cook, can knock me off my game, her daugher Amy wants this scarf and her husband Tom would love to get it on Dave McKeon's nickel---diet incentive: ? scarf incentive: high
2. Barb Clark--already  very fit, new to the blog, somewhat of a dark horse, do not count her out
3. Stephanie Chirbas--has a big job that keeps her at her desk all day, but she is another sleeper. Not sure how much she wants the scarf, admits to being fluent in profanity, so I  like her chances already. Needs to figure out how to comment before she will be considered a serious contender.
4. Judy Pulera--Very fit, very committed. Has already staked her claim. She's commenting up a storm and has created a friendly rivalry with the gentlemen from St. Eds. I don't think she gives a shit about the scarf, I think she just wants to win--a scary combination. I like the intensity, I think she's in it for the long haul.
5. Sara Pond--Do not be fooled by Sara's sweet exterior and kind comments. She's a serious competitor AND wants the scarf. She will be rock steady all the way, and has the technical savvy to score high and make a big statement in the comment portion.
6. Brian Pond--I admire his willingness to jump into this Challenge. I am assuming he wants this scarf to give to his wife. He could greatly improve his chances by being deployed to a military zone.
7. Angela--She has the motivation to lose weight (husband coming home from Afghanistan), really wants the scarf, AND has a very compelling human interest story. I'm not going to lie to you, she will score well in this competition, so bring your A game.
8. Jean Fredricksen--I can't quite tell just how serious she is. She could be playing me, time will tell.
9. Wanda Jaraczewski (I think)--She signed on early, but  may be having second thoughts. She's been quiet, thus far, but I know she's got perseverance and commitment, do not take her lightly.
10. Amy Davidson--She wants the Burberry BAD, and was the impetus for the incentive in this Challenge, but she better get some comments coming soon or she will be sadly scarfless this winter. Has engaged an experienced "life coach" (Jane McTernan) for this challenge and should begin to make some noise. 
11. Casey Ferraro--She seriously does not need to lose weight, I'm not sure if she wants the scarf, may have felt some peer pressure to join, but once challenged, can be relentless. May be the biggest dark horse. If she figures out the comment section of the blog, watch out.
12. Jeannie--Casey's sister. Another sleeper, but went to a military boarding high school, so has strategy and tactical training unknown to many of us. Her weight loss motivation is pretty high, her tech skills are well above average, and she wants the scarf. Do not be surprised if a Canfield sister tag team full court press unfolds. Don't say I didn't warn you.
13. Louis--one of the fine gentlemen of St. Edward's Hall. He's certainly got the comments going, He's not afraid of Judy Pulera, he wisely scored some points by talking up the blog and our awesome tailgates, and he's got youth on his side. However, This Challenge is a marathon, not a sprint, and youth can be easily distracted. Time will tell if he's in it for the duration. 
14. Frank-- another Stedsman and a man of fewer words. I like his quiet confidence and his Light and Fit yogurt tip. I think he's got a strong chance to make a showing in this competition. He's from New York and New Yorkers don't back down. However, Final's Week may derail his progress.
15. Nicole--I know she wants the scarf, but I saw her eat that sub. She's got all the potential in the world to be a serious contender, but her job is stressful. Let's see if it will throw her off of her Fit Club game.
16. Maggie Nickels--I was waiting for at least one of the Nickels' girls to jump into the fray. Though she is my God daughter, she is fully eligible for the Challenge. However, do not be deceived by Maggie's easy going exterior. She's got a deep and driven steeliness to her, and can bring it out at will. She also has the extra incentive to avoid the "Gordita" label. She is spending the semester in Mexico and is more than ready for some serious upscale cashmere indulgence.  
17. Kristina--Of course you are in. You publicly declared your intent and that's good enough for me. Enjoy the cruise, and pray that you get wi-fi, so you can send in some comments and diet tips, while lounging on the Lido deck. Remember, the comments and diet tips are critical.
18. Stephanie Connolly--Declared her intent via email. She's got stamina, she wants the scarf, but must master the comment portion of the blog to live up to her full potential.  May be the most likely to just go buy her own scarf and call it a day.
19. Kim--I'm taking your comment to mean you want in. Your welcome. Just a warning to all competitors, when properly motivated, Kim is a force to be reckoned with.  Ignore her at your own risk. Point of clarification: who do you think invented the "Heels and Clubbing" Diet? Don't make me have to tell the story about winning that dance contest at the LineBacker Inn again. However, I will acknowledge the excellence of that tip. But I think it only works if you are in college.
20. Tina Burke--a recent entry via email. Word to the wise: Tina Burke could kick my ass all day long. She played softball in college, still pitches like a fiend, works out hard, and won't back down from a challenge. Her only weak spot, mastering the blog....until she shows the ability to comment, tough to assess her chances.

Below are a few folks that I thought would Take the Challenge and have thus far wussed out. Yeah, I'm calling you out right here:

1. Grace Nickels--She's young, but she's a natural. Her competitive nature (she's made several girls cry on the tennis court, including her own doubles partner) coupled with her love of upscale luxury items make this Challenge a perfect fit. Maybe she is intimidated by her big sister... maybe she's just biding her time.... 
2. Matt Nelligan--Though he is skinny as a rail, I know he could clean up in the comment section. We all know how easily swayed I am by good celebrity gossip and Matt's got the inside line on the Swifts.
3. Taylot Swift's Mom--sure, she probably wraps her garbage in Burberry scarves, but word on the street is that she could stand to drop a few pounds.
4. Tina Lampe--I guess now that she's won the tuition raffle at our school, she's too good for the Challenge and is just going to buy her own Burberry scarf.  Fine, be that way.
5. Kevin Moyer, Mike Johnson and Alex--Boys, I've met your mothers and you know they would LOVE to get this scarf for Christmas. How do you think that they will feel when they heard that you had a chance to win a Burberry scarf for them and didn't even try? Very sad, that's how.
6. Katie Caspar--It is quite possible that Katie Caspar has no recollection of this Challenge at all....or of this weekend at all...How are you feeling, Katie?

Now, here is my own Fitness Update along with a few diet tips:
Pounds lost: 2!!!--I am back to my original weight and thanks to all of your tips, I am recommitted to losing those ten nagging pounds.
Diet Tip 1: Buy new work out gear. I got me some new running shoes and a few "dri-fit" items. I am just immature enough that I still get psyched by new shoes and clothes....even if I'm just going to sweat in them.
Diet Tip 2: Eat Lunch with Jane McTernan--you will feel like a total whale eating anything other than a salad, because she will be sitting across from you eating nothing and drinking black coffee. This is why she is excluded from the Challenge. Super human will power and no body fat.

Keep those diet tips and comments coming. I am overwhelmed by the response and can't wait to see how this thing unfolds....(and also, I really want to lose 10 pounds....)

Today's Top Ten:

1. Light and Fit Yogurt--excellent source of calcium
2. Nike Dri-fit apparel--not as chokey as the under armour stuff, but still keeps you warm
3. Jack McKeon--shaved off his mohawk, visited West Point last weekend, and is the only McKeon child other than Posey, not messing with the Burberry Challenge
4. John and Wanda Jaraczewski--thanks so much for taking Jack to West Point. A once in a lifetime experience...
5. Avacadoes--loaded with vitamins, tasty and filling
6. Manrico Cashmere--best store on Michigan Avenue--put their sweaters on your Christmas List
7. Zach Koenes--always there when you need him. Christmas lights, ping-pong tables, hanging curtains
8. Monogrammed Tiffany sterling cufflinks--just beautiful
9. Blueberries--apparently the best diet food ever.  I believe...
10. All the Burberry Fit Club Challengers....my VERY favorite people: helping me lose the weight and get the book deal, all at the same time....I am living the dream...

Remember, it's not too late to join The Challenge. We will take all comers. No one will be turned away...except for my kids...but they are used to that....