BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!

Holy Christ, it has been ages since I last posted.  Sorry.  Without a contest to keep me committed, I am a total slacker. However, I cannot do any contests until I finish my 20 page accounting paper---and I can't finish my 20 page accounting paper until I actually start it....  But here is my philosophy on accounting papers...."She don't read, she just look at the numbers"  (you knew that was coming, didn't you?)  Oh, Becky Cunningham, I only wish you knew how often you were quoted in the McKeon house hold.("she don't cook, she just look at the drive thru; she don't clean, she just look at the dust bunnies; he don't read, he just look at the amount due..."--we've got a million of them)

 For those of you who really want a new contest, I suggest you all pool your resources and pay some local accountant to write me up a 20 pager, complete with charts, graphs and bibliography, post haste (yeah, I'm talking about you, Jeannie Fredrickson, and you, too, Kristi Ambro) Once that paper is done, it's all contests all day. 

Now on to this special post. Yes, yesterday (now, the day before yesterday--it took me a while to figure out how to get those photos in...and then I went out to drinks with my friends last night for my birthday...and then I was just useless...please, pretend like this post went up yesterday, Ok?) was my happy birthday and thanks to so many of you for the great birthday wishes. Excellent, excellent use of the Facebook to wish your friends a Happy Birthday. I enjoyed that part immensely and I have to tell you, I enjoyed my birthday immensely as well. And do you know why? Here's why...  Because I made a solemn vow not to do one hot thing all day that I did not want to do.. not one thing. .Now, please read this correctly. I did not say that I spent the day doing exactly what I wanted--that would be too much, really, because as you all know, my wants are endless and boundless (trip to Paris, the Hermes birkin bag, dropping a quick 20 pounds, lunch with Babe Paley and Slim Keith, guest spot on Revenge, book deal...)Hell, I'm not asking for miracles. I just wanted to spend ONE day not having to do the day to day, bullshitty, obligatory things that take up at least 90 percent of my life--think about it, how often do you get to spend an entire day not doing things you hate?? ? Um, like never...So yesterday, with the exception of having to take Pete to the hospital for a quick hand x-ray, (slight glitch in the day of freedom, but it went pretty fast and I spent the whole time reading the article about learning how to be a butler in the Town and Country I brought with me, so it really wasn't too bad, and I actually kind of did want to take him and get it over with so I wouldn't be that mom who lets her kid sit around all week with a broken bone...oh wait, that's my sister Wendy...) but I really did spend pretty much the ENTIRE day, not doing anything I didn't want to do...and while it was not the most exciting day, ever, it was total aces to me.

Here are the things I did NOT do on my birthday:

• Write a single word of my 20 page accounting paper
• Read the 300 pages that I am behind in my law class
• Even recall that I am taking a leadership class
• Check the laundry chute
• Turn on the stove,
• Turn on the  oven,
• Turn on the toaster, dishwasher, iron, vacuum or any other household appliance (total dream day right there)
• Cook food
• Fold laundry
• Go to the grocery
• Go to the bank
• Go to any meetings
• Touch any cleaning products
• Attend the Varsity boy's soccer dinner--sorry, but I have been attending these dinners for the last 15 years and unless they are going to start serving alcohol at these functions, I will always be a reluctant attendee---missing this was just about the highlight of my birthday-no offense to any kid, mom or person involved-(especially my son Nate)-
• Make the requisite dessert for said soccer dinner...Nate bought a nice pie from Cold Stone on his way..Done and done
• Schedule a home repair
• Wait for the cable guy
• Listen to any whining, complaining, nonsense or back sass
• Suffer any fools
• Get on the scale
• Wear too tight pants
• Pretend to care about the odd dreams anyone had last night
• Pretend to care about the meetings Dave had at work
• Pretend to listen to any stories involving little plastic animals
• Feign interest in my mother's health issues
• Feign interest in anyone's health issues (even Pete's thumb...we got the x-ray--negative by the way--but I didn't pretend to be interested...however, just ask me how to serve the cheese course--that butler article--very interesting)
• Engage in pointless conversation
• Make sure kids did their homework
• Pay bills--who we kidding? I don't pay the bills anyway
• Watch educational television

Things I DID do on my special day

• Ate a big breakfast at the Coffee Pot with my kids and my friends (courtesy of the McTernans, at a decked out table...terrific)
• Read Dominick Dunne's last novel Too Much Money.. This is the book he wrote right before he died.  I love Dominick Dunne, read every single thing he wrote in Vanity Fair, and this book is very autobiographical. The main character is totally based on Dunne's life right down to having a murdered daughter. However, at the end of the book, the Dominick Dunne character reveals that he is gay.  Query: Is Dominick Dunne gay? Which honestly, would only make me like him even more, but seriously, if this is true, how did I not know? When did this happen? Did I miss an episode or something?  I am expecting Judy Pulera and Tricia Heinzman to set me straight on this one...Anyhow, it was a great birthday read.
• Read the latest Town and Country Magazine
• Talked on the phone to my happy birthday wishing friends
• Received many, many great birthday wishes on the Face Book
• Checked the Face Book more than once
• Admired my amazing Halloween decorations--Here is a photo of the mantle--it is killer-the whole house looks great--just ask Catherine Hicks (Annie's friend, not the mom on Seventh Heaven...my obscure celeb recall is rather savantish...)

Can you read what this says? It says HAPPY HALLOWEEN WITCHES--total classic. it makes me laugh all day long--and this is just the tip of the Hallween decor iceberg--Happy Halloween, witches..

• Talked to my college aged children who called to wish me many happy returns
• Received two (not one, but TWO) killer Notre Dame Flags for my birthday (actually got them a little earlier--we flew them at the USC Game--don't bring it up--but they are crazy awesome, and here is a picture of my birthday flags--the top one is an ND flag with everyone in our families' name on it, the bottom is the McKeon family crest--which is full of symbols--ask Dave for the official explanation--I'm pretty sure they all mean "House full of shidiots". However, please note that the flag pole is perfectly straight as it is the best flag pole on the market--again, just ask Dave McKeon, as he now has a PhD in custom flags and flagpoles. Seriously, these flags are top drawer. I love them. They are the perfect exception to the general rule of : "If I can't wear it, it's not a gift..." These flags are so cool, I may actually wear them...given enough long island iced teas...

• Ate a great dinner at the club
• Hassled Nate for being late for my birthday dinner (he was trapped at said soccer dinner)
• Laughed at Pete's impressions of his English teacher
• Unwrapped the DVDs of the last two seasons of Rescue Me, courtesy of Nate and Pete (tardiness forgiven, Nate) Well done, boys...
• Discussed whether or not kids today are better educated that kids 100 years ago  (Nate and Pete: "Of course we are". Me: "Well, the average kid today is probably better educated because more kids go to school, but you guys compared to young men really educated at a decent school in the 1910s? No way....those guys were reading Greek and Latin, studying the Magna Carta and memorizing Shakespeare...you two can barely spell Shakespeare...and neither can your friends." Dave McKeon: "You kids are all a bunch of dumbasses, especially Chris"
• Bought several more books for my nook
• Went to bed before 11 (super early for me)

All in all, a very fine day.  Again, thanks to everyone who sent out birthday sentiments---especially my friend with the freakishly good voice who left a singing birthday message on my cell phone. You know I saved that, right?

Now, and it's been such a long time, but here is today's top ten--saving the best for last..

1. Cake from Beth Mattuecci's cake lady
2. Posey's new blue suede primigi boots--you have to see them to truly appreciate them
3. The Lalique earrings on sale right now on Vivre.com--a killer deal and they are just as pretty in real life. I should know--I bought them. 
4. The awesome dress I received from my birthday pals from Strawberry Fields in Lake Geneva. It is made out of men's suits--and is absolutely perfect--thanks, ladies
5. Let's Bring Back--a phenomenal book Annie gave me full of classic things that I love (like brooches, consomme, garden parties) that need to be revived...it is a masterpiece. Thanks, Annie...and I hope you all know, that I singlehandedly brought back Tretorn sneakers about four years ago--they can now be seen in J.Crew--you're welcome.
6. J. McLaughlins--great store that I first encountered in Georgetown--bought a great coat there--There is one in Charleston and now there is one on  the square in Lake Forest where Penny's From Heaven used to be...received a dynamite birthday gift from there...thanks, Carol.
7. The Bitch magnet from Judy Pulera--I'm still laughing.
8. The Neiman Marcus Christmas book, which is offering its usual crazy high end gifts--but did you notice that this year they are offering a wooden boat modeled after the always classic, never to be replicated Chris Craft??? of course they are....
9. The Notre Dame flags--they have to make the list
10. Mary Grace Fitzpatrick-- the new baby daughter of our own Burberry scarf winning Angela Fitzpatrick and her super husband Brendan.  She is just beautiful and much loved by her two big brothers, Jake and Henry. Just another Fitzpatrick to love...congratulations and love to the whole family...babies make the whole rest of the world make sense...

And on that happy note. I sign off.  However, I really will post more because I made a solemn promise to my good friend John Heinzmann, and I am nothing if not a woman of my word...but again, no contest until somebody (anybody) finishes that accounting paper...

STRATEGY FOR THE FACEBOOK

As I alluded to, I have been dabbling in The Facebook. And now they kind of changed the look of the Facebook and I am even more lost and less interested. I can't really "chat" or talk on it, and don't really want to. I don't understand the news feed part, but now that doesn't even show up, so I'm  glad I never spent the time to figure out how to use that part. Finally, it appears to me, that most people just use The Facebook as a big, gratutious photo album and I am totally down with that... for a couple of reasons: 1. becaue I don't know how to down load pictures on the Facebook, so other than the three that are on my page, I'm pretty safe, and 2, this whole photo thing aligns nicely with my  FB strategy,

Yes, I have a strategy for the Facebook. and I call it "just looking at the pictures". Really, that's pretty much all anyone does, who are we kidding? Except for the few who down load news feeds and make sassy comments (talking about you, John Heinzman) everyone out there is "just looking at the pictures"... I did not invent this strategy  of  "just looking at the pictures". As a matter of fackt, this strategy existed way before the Facebook. I adapted this strategy from one Becky Cunningham, a consummate "garbage professional" that I've had the pleasure to know.

Allow me to explain: When we lived in Ohio, people had to pay for private garbage service. We used a nice service called "Don Haynes Rubbish". Now, Don Haynes did a good job, of picking up our mass quantities of garbage, until Christmas 2000. This was the year we adopted Posey, and because we were in China from the end of  November through the first part of December, I bought all the kids' Christmas gifts on line, before we left. Needless to say, come Christmas Day, we had tons of cardboard boxes and packaging to dispose of.  So, Dave McKeon broke down all the boxes, wrapped them up in twine and set them out with our garbage cans for pick up. Don Haynes came, took the garbage, but left the large bundles of neatly tied up cardboard. I quickly called old Don Haynes and left this message: "Hello, this is Laurie McKeon at 2720 Alta West Road. It's 7:30 in the morning, and your guys just left, but they didn't take any of the card board boxes that we had neatly tied up with the garbage. Could you please come back and get them? You are the garbage carrier, come back and carry away the garbage, please..." Surprisingly, Don Haynes's guys never came back...and old Don Hayes never called. Instead, he sent me a nice little note on "Don Haynes Garbage man Letterhead" that read: "Git (sic) someone else". No joke, I got fired by our garbage carrier.

For several months, I kept that dismissal letter taped to my kitchen cabinet, to remind myself to be a little nicer, but  i got over Don Haynes pretty darn fast as he was soon replaced by the Cunninghams.-- a small, start up family  garbage service who made up for their lack of expertise (and teeth--seriously, they would come pick up the trash, three in the front seat of their garbage truck and not a full set of teeth between them--sometimes even the grandma would be with them. I'm a sucker for a family business empire) with a gung ho attitude and a willingness to collect all things trashy. When I called the Cunningham operation, I had the pleasure of talking to Becky, the brains of the organization. (her brother Billy was the truck driver/brawn). Because regular trash collection was critical to my household, I was truly desperate to find and keep quality garbage service, I asked Becky if her company had any issue with picking up cardboard boxes, or had any other garbage restrictions. And Becky laid it all out there for me, telling me: "We don't take paint, we don't take tiiires, (for years I thought she meant "tars", but I eventually realized she meant "tires") and we don't take dead animals"....I told Becky I could live with that, (I guess I would have to dispose my dead animals elsewhere) and promptly paid her for a year's service, figuring she wouldn't fire me, as she and her brothers would have already spent their year's advance on Slim Jims and flaming hot cheetos.

I continued to pay the Cunninghams by the year,( just a little garbage insurance) When we moved from Mansfield we obviously had a garbage credit, which was no big deal, money well spent However, once that garbage credit was over, Becky Cunningham kept sending me bills. Finally, I called her and said: "Hey, Becky, we haven't lived at the Alta West address in over five months. Didn't your brother  notice the changed name on the mail box?"  And she said, with not an ounce of irony: "Oh, Laurie, he don't read,... he just look at the number" ( I LOVE this quote...I use it all the time, even when it doesn't apply....think about it, just about anything can happen and you can say; 'Oh, he don't (fill in the blank) He just look at the number) And thus, a Face book strategy was born....She don't read....she just look at the pictures... Becky Cunningham, a visionary..who knew?

So there you go, now you know how I use "The Facebook" Just keep those photos coming, because she don't read, she just look at the pictures..."

Tonight's Top Ten:

1. The Art of Feilding  a great, much hyped book by Chad Harbach, who grew up in Racine and actually went to St. Cats.
2. The assorted licorice tub from Harry and Davids--very tasty
3. The slim cargo cords for girls in the Tea Collection catalogue-great colors and just enough hipness
4. Footloose--old and new-I will not lie, I am dying to see the new Footloose
5. Happy Endings--great little sit com that just makes me laugh
6. Black watch plaid blazer from J.Crew--it's old school/new cool- plan on seeing it a lot this winter
7. Revenge--the show that comes on after Happy Endings--a total guilty pleasure featuring Amy from Everwood (another fine television drama that only I watched....)
8. Mary Chapin Carpenter--she came back into my life via Dave McKeon's ipod. Man, her first album was really, really good
9. "Go, Irish" --the phrase, not the team...well the team, too, but I am trying to make the phrase "Go, Irish" become a universal salutation or exclamation like that stupid "Roll, Tide" (ok, Roll, Tide is kind of cool, but I want "Go, Irish" to go platinum.
10. Chai Ling--Annie's boss from the summer, was a student leader in the Tiananman Square hunger strike in China, sought political asylum in the US, earned degrees from both Harvard and Princeton, started a super software company, then used that money to fund All Girls Allowed, was nominated for the Nobel Peace prize twice and just wrote a new book A Heart for Freedom. She is super impressive--go buy her book.

Well, that's it for tonight, Sorry these posts are few and far between. School is messing up my blogging time....dang it. Hope to get back at it, but I'm not making any promises....Oh, and by the way, the spell check isn't working....good luck with that.