ALLITERATION IS ALIVE!!

Very well done tonight. There were several fine, fine, side splitting entries that had the judges in stitches. I only wish that we could pick more than five winners...Oh that's right!! We can. So, here's the deal for tonight. We are picking the TEN best entries and awarding points accordingly. (100 points for the best, 90 for number 2--you get the idea) I wasn't lying when I said that it is indeed anybody's game. With this new scoring system, the door is WIDE open...Start rushing through it,people...

AND this just in:  Judge Wendy has indeed ruled that non alliterative prepositions in your alliterative sentences are just fine--Brenna dodged a bullet there, and her gamble totally paid off. (Spoiler alert: Brenna does quite well in the scoring tonight--Judge Wendy loved her stuff) So, without further ado, here are the day's tallies:
First: quantity--remember, they are doubled:
Tricia: 22, John 20, Judy 18, Brenna 18, Stacy 2 (where oh where is Suechi?? I thought she would kill in this competiton)
Now, for quality:
Number 10: Tricia's "Amber/teen mom" one--10 points
Number 9: Judy's "Hef's healthy heart..." 20 points
Number 8: John's "Scotty" one--I enjoyed this more that Judge Wendy....(little aside: I'm so sorry, John, but the male judges were unavailable tonight due to a marathon basketball game....the judges was just a little chick friendly tonight...I promise to chain them to their chairs tomorrow and force them to judge the entries)  30 points for this
Number 7: Brenna's "hoarder' one...creepy, but very good...40 big points
Number 6: Tricia's "Bandana Bret" one--well done and worth 50 points
Number 5: John's "Ozzie Osbourne" one...great use of vowels  60 points
Number 4: Stacy's "Bachelorette" one--maybe Stacy is now regretting just having one entry, ...maybe not..She still gets 70 big points
Number 3: Tricia's "Eden early exit..." this was super timely, very clever and I am totally freaked out by that Toddler and Tiara thing...80 whopping points...Tricia is cleaning up...woohoo
Number 2: Judy's "Sarah Ferguson" one--just hysterical. I loved, loved. loved this one.
Number 1: Brenna's " Tila Tequila" one--Judge Wendy raved about this one and it was very, very well done.
To recap and total tonight's points...because they were flying fast and furious:
John: 110 big, big points tonight
Stacy: 72 points for tonight
Judy: 128 points for the night
Tricia: 152 just huge points
Brenna/Kim: redemption is yours--158 WHOPPING points for the night
What a great night for all!! I have not yet done a grand total, so I have no idea actually where anyone stands, but I bet it's kind of close....We are now on the down hill stretch...bring your A game, because that necklace is so worth it...

Here is tonight's challenge...and I'm pretty sure the same complicated scoring grid will apply, so plan for major points. Write an epitaph for any (or all) of the Real Housewives (any city, any crazy housewife) Remember: an epitaph is one of those phrases that they put on a tombstone...they usually rhyme. Here are some examples I stole off the internet, because I am too tired to think up a good one using an actual Housewife (I did think up a bad one--see below) so, here are a few:
In a London cemetery

Here lies Ann Mann,

Who lived an old maid

But died an old Mann.

Dec. 8, 1767

In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery

The children of Israel wanted bread

And the Lord sent them manna,

Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,

And the Devil sent him Anna

 

These are very good....Here is mine:

Here lies that stupid Alex

the Housewife no one likes

Her husband is a flamer

And someone should taze her tykes

Ok, it's not that great, but that Alex from the New York Housewives is just so odd, and her kids are just nuts Again, I'm sure you all will do much better...good, good luck. And please--original work only...I'm trusted you fellas...don't let me down.