FACEBOOK? WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?

Ok, I am now officially on the Facebook. Big f'ing deal. Honestly, I don't see what all of the fuss is about... and I also have to admit, I just don't get it. Mostly, because I don't even understand how it works, (how do I comment? Who the hell is getting my comments? and why am I getting random information about friends of friends who I do not know??? ) I guess it's sort of cool to look at other people's pictures...kind of... but  after a few minutes, unless they've gotten super fat from high school or have had very noticeable cosmetic surgery....pffft. Who cares??  I am sticking with the blog, the preferred technological format for the literate, the contemplative and the old school.

I know, I have been ignoring the blog, for a while and for that I apologize. Once I finished my whirlwind session of summer school, and it was indeed a whirlwind, I spent some much needed respite time at my sister Wendy's beautiful house at Torch Lake. (It is a total show place. I mean it. I would post some photos of it, but it would just make you cry with jealousy.--wait, that was me....) Then I had to get those three annoying, extremely expensive older kids off to school, (this involved a U-Haul truck, about 10 trips to Target, thousands of dollars worth of  quality furniture like foutons and dressers you put together with an allen wrench and a whole lot of f bombs from Dave McKeon),  then the three younger kids started school (actually, this was a piece of cake--Nate and Pete keep telling me they don't need any school supplies and I'm taking them at their word, because I refuse to make one more trip to Target--now that I only have three kids at home (!! it's kind of creepy) I'm only shopping at the Walgreens on the corner of Sheridan and 75th Street...there is plenty of inventory there and it's right on my route--) and then I started school again myself.
Yes, I am back in school. And if you thought I sucked at regular school, well I suck WAY more at e-school.

It is no secret that other than email and shopping on line, my technological skills are pretty limited. So, you can only imagine just how badly I have bitched up this whole electronic school thing. I have had five classes thus far, and I've yet to smoothly attend any one of them. In my defense, I have never taken a class on line, and when people kept talking about on line classes, I assumed that it was like skyping or something, where the teacher talked, you could see his face and maybe even see the other people in your class somehow...but it doesn't work that way. Basically, it's like a conference call with power point slides and in one class, there's not even the conference call...you just type stuff to the teacher. Seriously??? All this super awesome technology that every one keeps throwing up in my face and mocking me for not knowing how to use and I am "listening and typing"? I feel like I'm back in my high school's "language lab" where we wore those head phones and listened to bad Spanish tapes ("Pablo es in el banyo"..."repete me, por favor")...

I am taking three classes this semester:  a Leadership class, a Law class and another Accounting class (which I have absolutely no business taking--I let my summer baby accounting grade go to my head and now I am paying the price) and it is probably two classes too many, but I've got to finish this school thing and move on with my life. (yeah, you heard that right, Dave McKeon....I'm actually going to finish this program and get a job....maybe....) For our first Leadership class, I couldn't figure out the audio part (I know, I know...it was just dialing a phone--but it took me a while to figure that out, because I WAS EXPECTING SOME WAY MORE ADVANCED TECHNOLOGY once I logged into the website part.) so I spent the first twenty minutes staring at these moving slides --until I figured out that you had to DIAL in...(shiiiittt).  For our first Accounting class, I couldn't figure out how to put my cell phone on speaker, so I had to basically hold the gd phone up to my ear the whole time, while I tried to take notes (hey, Dave and Nate couldn't figure it out either, and I was trying to be polite and not tie up the land line...), For our first Law Class, when I finally glanced at the syllabus, I realized that I had purchased THE TOTALLY WRONG BOOK before I left campus ( the dude in the bookstore with the wandering eye--it really does drift a little--wouldn't let me back in the stacks to get my own book, he had to help.. He made me tell him the book and the class and he handed me a book, I just assumed it was the right one. It had the word law in the title and it looked expensive. I just took it, threw on my book shelf, and never cracked it open until the day before our home work was due...ok, this has nothing to do with technology, but I know that if I were in real school, with real classmates, someone would have told me that I had the wrong book way sooner...).

For our second Leadership Class, we had to take this strengths assessment thing on line with a code from the book....yeah, that's right, even though my goddamn book was goddamn new, from goddamn Amazon, the goddamn code didn't work. And once again, because I did not start my goddamn homework until the day before it was goddamn due, I couldn't get the goddamn help desk to answer my goddamn question and score my goddamn strengths assessment to show what a goddamn leader I am.  (leading myself right into the eternal  flames of hell) And finally tonight, for my second Accounting Class, I was up in Dave's office, --(because I still can't figure out how to put my cell phone on speaker and my ear is starting to blister from all of this "on-line"/ "on-phone" learning--screw being polite--I am so tying up the land line) using his fancy phone with the great speaker system,  I thought I had said fancy phone on Mute, but I guess I did not  (yet another technical glitch), because when Dave walked in to his office to hook up his work computer, started staring over my shoulder at some accounting problem that we were going over and I yelled at him to "GET OUT" , and he snapped back that he was "JUST TRYING TO LOG INTO HIS WORK COMPUTER" the teacher, after kind of an awkward pause, said: "And please remember to keep your phones on mute..." . Shhiiittt again. Yep, I've got this whole internet school thing on lock down....While the rest of my technologically savvy classmates are shopping at J.Crew on line, chatting up their Facebook friends and logging miles on their ellipses, during class, I'm holding a goddamn phone to my ear.  I have a sinking feeling that this semester is not going to end well...Any technical advice would be greatly appreciated, so that I, too, can shop online during class or at least fold a load of laundry...

Well, that about catches you all up with my happy life. Don't bother getting on  the facebook (I like to call it "the" facebook, because it makes me sound even more like an old lady, and for some reason that cracks me up...) because according to my kids, the cool people hardly ever post on it,,,so I got that going for me..(they are just telling me that so I don't creep on their Facebook pages...).I promise to be more attentive to the blog, now that I realize what a special gem it is....

Tonight's Top Ten:
1. Jack McKeon--called a few days ago to thank us for letting him go to Notre Dame. He loves it and says it's even better than he expected. Hey, Annie and Chris, we are still waiting for your calls...
2. the Mute button
3. Beach Parties
4. Beyonce's baby--I know it's not born yet, but admit it, that kid's going to kick the shit out of Will Smith and Jada Pinckett's kids, not to mention Suri Cruise and all the Jolie/Pitt brood (except for Zahara--she looks like a bad ass--I love her)
5, Don't Let's Go to the Dog's Tonight, by Alexandra Fuller. It's a really great read about a family living in Africa. She has a new book out now too. Best line: when her mom is diagnosed as manic/depressive, the mom says: "Oh, we were all crazy then, but I'm the only one with a certificate to prove it"...
6. Bite sized Milky Ways--ate an entire bag today....thanks, Wanda
7. Ross Szlag--super nice guy from my class who pretended that no one could hear Dave and I yelling at each other during Accounting Class tonight.
8. My new sheets from Neiman Marcus--they are so beautiful (white with white monogramming) that when I opened the box, I involuntarily gasped with joy (this is a true story and they are that beautiful)
9 The J. Crew kids Minnetonka ankle moccasins with the beads--super hip, great price, soon to be in Posey's closet
10. Notre Dame Football, Baby. This is our year. Get ready.