HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

Note to all: I began this post the day after Mother's Day--it was super relevant, and then, before I could finish it, the following events transpired:

1. Posey sat on my kindle--which was pretty much like sitting on my soul--and broke it. Set me back a day.
2. Annie hypnotized me with episodes of Mob Wives--lost a few afternoons 
3. The posting feature on Blogger.com was down for almost two days (true story)
4. Then, just as I was getting my groove on to finish this now stale post, my mom had a freakish medical emergency and has been in the ICU for the last five days...Thank God she got sick or I would just be another lazy ass blog slacker, failing to post in a timely manner--JUST KIDDING...She is on the mend, moving into a regular room as we speak and certainly well enough now to boss me around making me move her special kleenex, special straw and special pillow into just the right position....

So, here is a post that was supposed to be up early last week, but never got finished until tonight, because of the above extenuating circumstances. Sorry, I have too many words invested in this one to let it go to waste. Just suffer through it, ok? I've spent the last five days in a room closed off with a curtain forcing my mom to wear a breathing mask=humor me....
(remember, this was started the day after Mother's Day.....)

Ok, you seriously didn't expect me to write a post on actual Mother's Day, did you? I was a little busy reading the newest Michael Connolly book on my kindle (the Fifth Witness--obviously this post was started BEFORE the whole kindle sitting incident) while my oldest daughter caught up on this season's episodes of the Real Housewives of New York. (they are all kinds of crazy on that show--and honestly, can they really be that major if they are willing to pimp themselves out on national television? you just know that real live rich people in New York are cringing every time they hear that Countess give lessons in etiquette...Lesson One: Do NOT be on  a reality tv show...However, I laughed my ass off when that Sonja fell off that horse.) Yes, Annie McKeon is home and back in the USA. She had a fabulous time in the UK and traveling through out Europe. However, they do not have ETV over there, so she has alot of crap TV to catch up on. I'm not sure if she learned anything in the classroom, but she certainly learned how to navigate the logistics of public transportation in several countries and frankly, that is probably more valuable than anything picked up in her "Music in London" class. (Which I envisioned as a class devoted to the Beatles and Amy Winehouse, but according to my daughter, it was strictly classical and included a concert in Westminster Abbey) So, having my first born home made it a very happy Mother's Day for me.

Now, a little musing on being a mother...Motherhood is not for the feint of heart. It is a long term proposition with very little exterior positive feedback along the way. You never get a performance review, an end of the year bonus, a raise or a promotion. Moreover, even with your best efforts, the train can and will go off the tracks at any point in time. You can never let your guard down, you can never ease up, and you have to stay pretty vigilant for eighteen or twenty years. As I say all the time to my friends who are freaking out about their kids four year old soccer game or second grade Iowa scores: "Pace yourself. It's a marathon, not a sprint" And frankly, despite the fact that three of my kids have been around for more than 18 years, I'm still not exactly sure where the finish line is. There is no other job that requires such continued persistence, patience, consistency and resilience. You don't get a day off, you don't get a mulligan, (maybe you do...mine is called Chris) and you honestly can't tell exactly how your mistakes and miscalculations have manifested in your offspring until waayy too late. Moreover, there is no guarantee, no trial period and no give backs.

And trust me, no matter what your career is, being a mother is a full time job... you can be a doctor, lawyer, teacher, stripper, volunteer, whatever, but your real job is mom. Anything else you do is secondary. While you can get great child care help, hire terrific babysitters, tutors, counselors, therapist...no one can take the place of the mother. Once they put that baby in your arms, the mom meter starts running and though you may want to, you can never totally turn it off. And let me make very clear, it doesn't matter if they hand you that baby in the delivery room or in the basement conference room of a dodgy hotel in the middle of China. You take one look at that baby and know its yours....forever. And you spent the rest of your waking hours, (and many of the hours when you should be sleeping), trying to do your very best by your baby, who as far as I can tell, never stops being your baby.

This may come as a shock to no one, but way back in the day, Dave McKeon and I made a very clear quasi-business arrangement once we decided to start a family. He, being way older than me, and making way more money, would hit the career track and I would hit the family track...hard.  And that's pretty much the way it shook out. Mid night feedings...me, pediatrician visits...me, tonsillectomies, stitches, broken collar bones, sprained body parts, strep throat, teenage acne....all me, science fair, discipline, sports camps, school conferences, sacraments, pep talks, driving lessons, family bonding, college apps....all me. .Paying the Visa Bill--him, making the mortgage, setting up the college accounts, anything having absolutely anything to do with money, business, and circumcision--Dave (seriously, that was Dave's big contribution: circumcision? yes)We have lived in Kenosha for over 8 years and I am pretty certain that Dave McKeon couldn't find his way to the pediatrician's office (both before and after the big move) orthodontist, pediatric dentist or any other child service provider. He cannot tell you the names of our kids teachers, and he is constantly asking me, when some teenager that is not ours heads upstairs "Which one is that, and whose friend is he again?"

Please understand. I am not complaining at all. This was the deal we cut and this is the deal we have pretty much stuck to. I have had total control over all things kid related and Dave has never second guessed me. Dave and I have a clear division of labor and we're both totally fine with it. Though our candor about it can sometimes disarm others. Once, at a corporate function, the wife of one of Dave's colleagues asked me if I was getting to know people and putting names to the faces of the employees, and I turned to her and said: "I'll start learning the name of Dave's employees once Dave learns the names of the kids' teachers." I hope I said that with love, but she looked at me like I was out of my mind, (probably true)

The point I'm making is that I have a lot invested in being the mom, which is no different than all moms--From the beginning, like all moms, I've had to figure out not just the tangibles (food, clothes, shelter and school work) but the intangibles: How do I make them be decent human beings? who love each other? and put others first? How do I raise kids who become the sort of adults that I want to hang around with? Who can laugh at themselves? and make others laugh, too? How do I make sure that they can establish meaningful relationships? Find love and love in return? Do I let my kids fall down? If so, how often? and do I catch them on the first bounce or just let them roll ? (this is as far as I got last time--so close, but not quite done--see, I told you I had a lot of words invested here)   And most importantly, how do I make sure that they will sit with me (or their father, or each other, or their loved ones) for five days, when I am in the ICU, and I need someone to move my special kleenex?

It's scary being the mom. Even with the best ingredients, best intentions, best efforts and methods, it's a crap shoot, and yet, we all keep showing up every day, giving it our all. And it's that continual, hopeful optimism, the constant unwavering love, the willingness to put it all on the line for your offspring that makes motherhood the toughest job you'll ever love...Happy Mother's Day (like 10 days late)

Today's Top Ten:

1. St. Catherine's ICU--seriously, I'm checking myself in--you can call "nutrition services" and they will send up a chocolate milkshake--no lie, it's like room service...and the nurses are fabu
2. Puff's tissues--can't use the regular kleenex...ohh, no..
3. Bridesmaids--if you have not seen this movie, Go right now...it's super funny
4. Nicole Caruso--she knows why
5. The Green Notre Dame bow tie--you have to see it
6. Emily Chiappetta's Notre Dame graduation announcements--she designed and made them herself. If you need unique, beautiful invites, ask Emily--she's a pro
7. http://www.nerdboyfriend.com/    You have got to check this out (especially you, John Heinzmann). It is a website that shows old school photos of famous people and then tells you where you can buy their classic (ish) stuff today--the Gregory Peck photo is awesome.  I am mesmerized by this site.
8. Jen Lancaster's latest book: If You Were Here, which because of all the footnotes is impossible to read on the kindle...good thing mine is broken...
9. Happy Endings--great new show on ABC
10. Motherhood

Special Note to Judy Pulera--where are you? I swear, that $150 JCrew gift card is burning a hole in my pocket....

Promise to post again very soon. I'm hoping my life hits a nice calm spot for a few days.  Thanks for hanging in there with this spotty blog.

HOW DO YOU LIKE THE NEW LOOK?

So, how do you like the new look?  A very big thank you to young Jamarcus for updating the official blog photo. This picture was taken as an enclosure in our Christmas card one year (probably late 90s as it is pre Posey) with the message, "Merry Christmas from The McKeons.  Laurie, Dave and the Little Monsters".  Look at the look of terror/exhaustion/confusion on my face. And check out how buff big Dave McKeon looks.... I must confess, a big part of those preschool years is a blur. But I never forget an outfit, (I am sort of a clothing savant. I can remember every single outfit I wore for the first two years that Dave and I dated) and those Christmas/winter outfits were a total classic. You can't see them that well but those are Giesswein jackets on all of the kids and Annie has on a Laura Ashley green velvet jumper and the boys are all wearing black watch plaid pants. My jacket is also black watch making for a very nice photo op. Total recall on my  part. Here is a better photo of those awesome outfits and the photo that was on the front of the Christmas card that year. Look how blond and cute Pete was. Look even closer and you can see that Jack actually has his pajamas pants on under his itchy wool pants. Comfort always took a back seat to the look. Sorry, kids...That photo was taken on the terrace of our house in Mansfield. It almost looks fake, but it's real.

As I was waxing nostalgic about clothing, John Heinzman sent me an email with an attached photo and asked this very important question. Here it is:  John asked "Is this in? Clashing patterns, or just a gay model thing?" Here is the photo: yes, I know it is sideways. Don't ask..ok, ask..

I'm done... I give up, I absolutely and totally give up.  I cannot get this %#^&** picture to save going up and down. I have been trying for like an hour and a half. You will just have to tilt  your head or turn your computer or something. You figure it out. Just when I think I've nailed this insert photo technology, I am put right back in my place...

However, to answer John's burning question, "yes, this is a very cool look and it's not just a gay model thing" . But, I caution you, unless you look like this dude, and I mean EXACTLY like this dude, do not try this look at home. And I will concede, the hair is a little bit much (ok, a lot much-- this hairdo even makes Tom Brady look like a p*$$^, so just imagine what it would do on any mere mortal) but the outfit is cool.

Now, remember, I am a fashion forward woman answering this question. I am the mom who bought my kid the "epic" Penguin jacket, I am the mom who made my kids suffer in pursuit of the perfect Christmas outfit (the irony that I would put ugly dinosaur masks on my kids, but forced them to wear itchy wool pants to get the perfectly coordinated Christmas clothing look  does not escape me...), I can spend hours matching up shirts and ties, like the scene in "American Gigolo", I love madras plain sport coats, I bought an ivory dinner jacket for my boys because it is the ultimate classic formal wear and I dressed my sons like girls for years, so maybe I'm not the ultimate authority on what may be considered "gay" . 

I do know for a fact that if you asked Dave McKeon about this look,  he would unequivocally answer: "Hell, yes, this is a gay model thing. No one but a total, screaming metrosexual would ever wear that shirt with that tie. No full blooded American male would wear that outfit...EVER.  maybe some British wanker, but no real American" Then he would spend the next fifty minutes ranting about the demasculinazation of the American male due to the influence of British fashion, Nate Berkus, "Glee" and Tom Brady. It is a very long lecture (somehow Oprah, the football players who go on "Dancing with the Stars",  boot cut jeans, and the movie "Dances with Wolves" are involved) and I have heard it several times. However, I have to still nod and listen as it plays out because Dave McKeon  just discovered the real price of my specially ordered Long champ leather bag (the purse, not the suitcase) and now it is payback time, and part of that pay back is me feigning interest in his ravings (it's in the wife handbook--look it up)...Thank God they captured Bin Laden so we can move on to a new topic...

Speaking of clothes, here is short recap of the outfits at the Royal Wedding: Princess Catherine--beautiful dress, amazing figure, very classic, regal, perfect look. Carol Middleton: very appropriate mother of the Bride outfit, nothing amazing, but totally fine. Camilla: who needs her? Those poor sad daughters of Fergie: could they look any uglier? Even Posh spice wouldn't have been able to carry off that flesh colored hat..it was just awful. Those girls better watch it, or they will be watching Prince Harry's wedding at home with their mother. The queen: nice look with the yellow, but really, when is she going to step down and give someone else a chance to rule?? Pippa: she stole the show. She is smoking hot and her dress was killer. Also, she looked like she was having a blast. All the men looked very nice, except Prince Phillip who looked a bit like a turkey. I agree with Judy, Prince Harry looks like the most fun. And it was awfully nice of James Middleton to take the ugly gene on behalf of his family, so his sisters could marry well...that's real brotherly love. All in all, I loved the royal wedding, and watched it over and over (even the Bravo style version) but what would you expect from someone who thought that the Ralph Lauren outfit above was a hit???

Today's Top Ten:

1. Navy Seals-real men doing manly things...
2. Pippa
3. The gray leather custom made Long Champ bag--my last big splurge, I swear
4. Gray suede primigi driving moccasins--don't worry, they are for women
5. Harrods
6. The little blond page boy from the Royal Wedding--he is smiling in every picture and looks like he really enjoyed the day
7. "Bossypants" by Tina Fey--very funny
8. Giesswein jackets
9. John and Tricia Heinzman--great addition to the blog, totally crack me up
10. Men's fashions--always cutting edge

Royal Wedding

Yes, I know that there is a new blog photo, and it is so awesome. I have a post in progress discussing the "Laurie, Dave and the Little Monsters" Christmas card from whence this photo originated, but there is something oh so more important that I need to share with you all, right now, this second. I know that you are all glued to the television watching the Royal Wedding...ok, maybe that's just me, but our own local correspondent was right on the spot. ...right on the spot, right outside Westminster Abbey. She saw the Beckhams, the Elton Johns, Harry, and Wills all walking into the Abbey and sent just for us, just for you, this AWESOME, INCREDIBLE photo of the happy couple.  You're welcome.

Can you even believe it??? Here they are. And Annie McKeon was right there. She took this photo with her phone. That's how close she was to the action. Ok, she didn't get the invite, but she did get the pics. What an amazing experience for her. From what I can gather, she and her British friend Joelyn (sp?--that's a boy's name, not surprisingly, they call him "Joe") something, something Smith, snagged a perfect spot right on the parade route and camped out over night. I'm sure it was a blast and obviously a once in a lifetime experience. And  you can all share in that coolness via my hipster, international blog.

Seriously, though, even watching it on TV was pretty impressive. Princess Catherine looked incredible, Prince William looked regal and Prince Harry seemed to be really enjoying himself. The thing that impressed me the most was the decorum of the British people. When they were all walking from Westminster Abbey (right about where Laurie McKeon made a wrong turn on her running route) to Buckingham Palace for the kiss, no one was pushing, shoving,  or Jersey shoring it up in any way en route. Even when that new mob stood in front of all the people who had been there waiting for hours to see the kiss, no one through a fit or a punch in protest. I fear that if this happened in the US, it would have been another Who concert experience...And the British people seemed so delighted about the whole thing, really into it, really excited...genuinely pleased for the Royal Family and for their nation. It was kind of cool...and I'm so glad Annie got to feel the whole vibe.

 Enjoy the photo, enjoy this royal day and take the time to remember your own special events that brought out the best in your family, friends and loved ones. Hooray for love.

HAPPY EASTER!! I JUST BITCHED UP 4 DOZEN CUPCAKES

Happy Easter, everyone!! I know that you are all tingling with anticipation regarding the Holy and Lowly Challenge. I know, so am I. Sorry to be a lot later than intended with this VERY important post, but I just completed filling 12 Easter baskets (could not do them last night, because the "college boys" did not come home until quite late and I did not want them to see the veritable smorgasbord of goodies that comprise their Easter baskets.) Yes, everyone at casa McKeon gets Easter baskets...that's how we roll. I take my holidays very seriously and make the most of them. Just wait until the big egg hunt.

Also, as Brenna/Kim told you, we attended the Easter Vigil...most important Mass of the Year and by far the very LONGEST mass of the year. Dave McKeon had his black berry out well before reading number five. (out of seven...) Ask Kim. I try to stop him, but he so doesn't  give a shit. (please note: Lent is over...some vulgarities have already crept back into my verbiage...of course they have) And I must say, the geriatric hand bell choir was quite a treat...It's nice to see someone bringing a "free form" version of that art form to the Masses...Dave and Pete were laughing so hard I thought Pete's head was going to pop off..Once again, the pious McKeon family ruins the most important mass of the year. Posey and Nate were serving this marathon or frankly, we would not have attended. Dave McKeon is an "hour max" kind of guy. Any Mass over an hour and he's out of there. However, it was a beautiful service and the true highlight was when Nate FINALLY got the incense lit...We have had a few issues with incense lighting before (don't ask, it was at a funeral and Fr. Bill just about punched the boys because they couldn't get it started..it was pretty awful) so seeing that smoke finally blooming was pretty much the Easter miracle for us this year.

Needless to say, I was a little tired when I got up this morning at 6am to make my famous cupcakes, load up the baskets (all twelve--five for my kids --sad, no Annie, 6 for Chris' friends, and one for Dave McKeon). I started with the cupcakes, figuring I could divvy up candy and goodies for the baskets while they baked. Excellent plan. However, after whipping up the batter, filling 47 cupcake tins, and popping them in the oven, I realized that I forgot to add the last three eggs....shiittt...Judy, I am feeling your lamb cake pain. I just let them cook, figuring it would be easier to throw out cooked cupcakes than oozing batter...did not work out as planned, and I had one big mess. It's cleaned up, the baskets are filled to the brim, and now, I am finally posting up for all of you. I still have to redo the cupcakes, but I'll do it while the big boys are at Easter Mass.

Then, I must fill the money eggs for the hunt this afternoon. We hide about 250 eggs and fill several with money. Here is this year's break down: 20 one dollar eggs, 10 five dollar eggs, 5 10 dollar eggs, 2 20 dollar eggs and one fifty dollar egg. Then, the person who finds the most eggs gets a fifty (the money jumped up a bit this year, due to the age level of the participants) twenty five bucks for second and 15 for third. It is a total blast and I think Chris' friends are somewhat surprised/horrified/scared at the fervor that surrounds the hunt. I also made all of these boys dye Easter eggs on Friday. Interesting to see, because I often forget that normal families do not do this sort of stuff once their kids stop believing in the bunny (I am not sure if Posey is still a believer. I think she's on the fence and just like you, Tina, I gave it all away this year. Of course, she is 11 years old, it is high time she learns the truth, just so she doesn't embarrass herself in middle school)  Or if you believe Dave McKeon, normal families (read this as his family) NEVER do this sort of stuff. "What is all this shit??I never dyed an Easter Egg in my life. You just hide the basket. that's it. Not a million f"ing eggs" According to Dave McKeon, no one ever took him to the zoo (told to me as we were slogging five little kids through the Lincoln Park zoo), no one ever came to his junior high graduation (said in a loud voice as we are sweating our asses off in the gym, listening to some old dude drone on) no one ever wrapped his Christmas gifts ("no, you just set them under the tree. You don't wrap this shit. How much is all this paper costing me?") No one ever taught him how to ride a bike, throw a ball....on and on...

So, when Dave McKeon saw me buying 6 more baskets yesterday, adding to the candy total and bringing back a big wad of cash from the bank, he had more than a little to say "Seriously, you are making baskets for 6 college boys we just met??? And you are filling them with gifts and candy? I tunes gift cards too:??And we are putting  cash is eggs for them to find? Are you f'ing kidding me?, just give them each a six pack--that's what they really want. Happy F'ing Easter. Here's some Miller light--in bottles. Your welcome" Well, we could do that, but I must confess. There are so many times that life can slap you upside the head, and slap you pretty hard, I might add., that when I can, (and I find I can more than you would think (like this awesome blog and challenge)  I really do try to find the stupid, silly, fun part of as many things as I can, and enjoy the living crap out of those moments. Frankly, if not, then what's the point? Back when I was in high school, my aunt and uncle started the out door egg hunt for money. It was a total blast and as we got older, and brought our own friends home from college, we all took part and I remember it with nothing but joy and a huge smile on my face. My cousin Mark has vivid memories at age six of being plowed over by college kids who were not too cool to go hard for the eggs with the coins in them (quarter beers!!). And honestly, what sort of mom would I be if I didn't let Posey have the chance to get run over by some big kids in pursuit of drinking money?? Given that charge, I've tried to replicate some sort of egg hunt every year.

My kids have hunted eggs in the desert in Arizona (spring break--Nate fell in a cactus, ouch) in several rental condos and even in the Fitness room/pool area of the Ritz in Boston (Spring of 2007--the year of the east coast college swing) I wanted to hide them out in the park but it was super cold. The front desk gave us until 7:30 to clear out of the exercise area, so eventually Dave and I just started throwing the eggs into the pool and then told the kids to go get them...good times, good times. And in all honesty, they are really good times.

And as I circle back on all of this, I hope you all understand just how much joy I've gotten out of this challenge. You all make me laugh very hard. You are clever, smart, engaging, and quite lyrical. (new lyrics to Peter Cotton tail? Killer) You are all also extremely kind, caring and compassionate. The connections that have been made through this blog (and even I was surprised at how interconnected you all are--just like Kevin Bacon) have been heart warming and life affirming in a way that has meant more to me than most of you will ever understand. It's been an honor and a privilege to get to know you all  better and I know that I have had the very most fun of all. Thank you for that. Don't worry, there will be more challenges to come...some even affiliated with this blog.

Now, with out further blah, blah, blah on my part (I know John already skipped those first six paragraphs to cut to the chase and find out who beat him...haha), here are the answers to last night and the all important scoring. Yes, the Easter Vigil is the most important Mass of the year, and The Movie was With Six You Get Egg Rolls, starring Doris Day and Brian Keith (have a tiny crush on Brian Keith--he of the original Parent Trap "Mitch, it's been so long, so very long..." and Family Affair fame). Brian Keith/Jake Iverson wooed Doris Day with Champagne and popcorn. I totally loved (still love) this movie, and Doris Day looks amazing and her clothes are still WAY cool --check out her suede boots when she is in the grocery store--classic) Great job finding the answers and a very nice not on which to end the questions. Here are the scores:
Judy--Way to bring it home: 2 for being right, 6 for being first with both (though John came through with the popcorn and champagne, so he gets first honors on this one as well) 8 very crucial points for you!! These will come in super handy...as you will see.
John--2 for being right, 3 for being also first with the lowly and 2 for being second with the holy. 7 big points for you.  I give you HUGE props for finding the popcorn and champagne answer. (see EC below) Nicely done, enjoy those net flix.
Suechi--true to the end, you get 2 points for being right, and 2 for being second with the lowly, and 1 for being third with the holy. your total--5 crucial points.
Tricia: 2 for being correct and 1 for being third with the holy=3 for you.
Stacy, Jamarcus, Kim/Brenna, Mrs.Sarge, Louis, and even Brian (nice work with the answers, they weren't correct, but they were good) 2 for each of you. Great work. Great results and now, time to award the EC.

Here is a little side note/disclaimer on the way this whole EC system works (and I'm not saying it's a good system, I'm just saying it's my system) So, before someone goes crying foul, or getting steamed, just understand that my system is not scientific, but more Laurietific. As I read the comments, I note the ones that make me laugh, the  ones that are very kind, the ones that take super skill--poems, songs, etc--and I jot down EC points. I do not tally or add as I go, I just know how many points I have to distribute and place points next to each person's name on my little score card. That's about it, so when you see how this whole thing finished, you may think it was rigged or contrived, but I can only say, " I wish". If I could do this sort of math in my head, I would not have had such flop sweat while taking the GRE. So, as you see how this thing unfolds below, just kind of go with it and please remember the spirit of this HOLY contest and the spirit of the blog. Here is today's EC:
 John: 80 big EC points. Your totally earned it with the songs, the extra effort on the popcorn and champagne thing, and the total body of your work. Your comments were incredible, consistent and spot on. your total for tonight: 87,
Judy: 40 EC points for you. Great comments, loved the With Six you get Egg roll summary, and loved your continual  speed, spunk and spirit. Your total for the day: 48
Stacy: 30 EC points for you. Great poem (again) and honestly, great, ass saving scoring. I really appreciate it and hope the volleyball is all you ever dreamed of. your days total: 32
Sue chi: 25 EC points for you. Loved your comments, loved your willingness to share the recipes, and thanks for bringing such an upbeat voice to the blog.
Tricia: 25 EC points for you as well. Thanks for all the babes you thought could play me in the movie and thanks for always making me laugh. Your comments were always timely, informative and clever. You and John are WAY fun, and when he wins this thing, I hope he picks the ND tickets so we can make a day of it.

Now, before I do a final tally, again I want to thank you all for participating, and who are we kidding, everyone is a winner here, just for being a part of this blog family (Ok, ok Capone--I'm getting there)
As always, there are great competitors who do not finish in the top five: These two woman are the "honorable mentions" with a big emphasis on the "honorable":

Kim/ Brenna--j has been just a delight on the blog, a truly compassionate individual with great insights, and great commentary. Probably gave us all the most pure info per comment than anyone else. If Kim had not missed a day or two, she would have ended in the money. For Kim/Brenna--I have a very cool key chain, charm thing from Harrods.

Mrs. Sarge/Tina--once again, Ms. Congeniality and quite the mentor for young Louis. I honestly can see Mrs.Sarge's smile in every one of her posts. She too missed a day or two because of her work obligations, but made a more than valiant showing, and because of this--she also receives a cool, Key chain, charm from Harrods. (do you want the one with the "bobby" or the one with the Harrod's bear?" you and Kim can pick.)

Little Aside to Louis: You did great, SYL. You've got your youth, Skylar and an invite to the McKeon egg hunt. You don't need these prizes...

Now, the top five: in reverse order...Just another aside: This was WAY tighter than I thought. I honestly thought that with all the regular points, speed points and extra credit points that the totals would be more spread out.  They are not. However, there are no ties, so that's something. Feel free to ask for arbitration on the point totals, but I'm not sure if it will get you anywhere. I've basically turned most of the math over to Stacy. Talk to her.
Number 5: Suechi with 220 big points. Sue always had great things to said. Between her recipes, the poem and her holy knowledge (special shout out to her spiritual advisor and in house chef, Chip) Sue never let me down. Best line ever: "Adult racist Laurie". It still makes me laugh . Add to it that she is in the midst of planning a wedding and Well, it's a testament to her that she made it into the top five--nice job. Sorry, but you get whatever prize no one else wants...(rosary??)
Number 4: Judy Pulera--with 234 points. Judy always finishes strong and I knew from the beginning that she would finish in the money. She, Tricia and Stacy were so close in the point totals that it made me kind of nervous..not nervous enough to go back and re add up all the points, but kind of nervous still. Judy was so consistent, so fast and so great with comments....I always knew I could count on her to come through. She and Louis really do need to get together, just to put this whole push up thing to rest...Judy will win, I promise. So, Judy, once the top three make their choice, it's all you. Again, great, great job . (didn't find the St. Claire goggles and the Catholic bookstore--what's up with that??)
Number 3: Tricia---with 240 points. Time and time again, Tricia had me cracking up. I love her take on the whole mom thing, and can totally relate. Add to that her love of the high end accessory, and I am not surprised at how well she has scored in this competition. I swear to you, Tricia, you and I will be sporting those Hermes bracelets...maybe not this week, maybe not this year, but someday...trust me. Well done, well done.
Number 2: Stacy--with 249 points (told you it was close) Stacy really pulled out in front once she introduced the spread sheet--and then clinched it with the poetry. A super nice touch, which scored really well. Stacy played a masterful game, not really relying on speed, but confident in her ability to score the EC, and score she did. --between the jokes, the comments, (shrunken apple head, Stephen Tyler) her math skills and her rhyming ability, Stacy was a true competitor. You get second pick, Stacy--hope you get what you want.
Number 1, that's right, Number 1--John/Capone...With 304 enormous points. You did it, dude. YOU ARE THE WINNER!! YOU'RE NUMBER ONE, YOU'RE NUMBER ONE!! (time to do the "churn the butter" dance) Really, once you jumped in, was there any doubt? You ALWAYS finished in the money--right answers, major speed, and a total flair for the comments. The golf knowledge was just an added bonus. Once Jamarcus p*$$ied out, it was totally yours to win. And win you did. Honestly, John never, ever let down and he brought the entire level of the competition AND the blog up a huge notch. thanks for being on the show. You get first pick of the fabulous prizes and then it will go from there. Take your time with the picking up. It's a tough choice...tickets, booze, bracelet, gift card, rosary??? so many options, all of them AWESOME!!

So, that ends the Holy and Lowly Challenge. I know I had a good time. Hope you all did, too. Happy, Happy Easter everyone. I hope your day is filled with chocolate, eggs, great food, friends and family. And if you got nothing else from this competition, it's all about balancing the Holy and the Lowly. And having some fun along the way. Winners, let me know the prizes you want and I will arrange for delivery...again, thanks and congrats to all.

I will close this out with a little quote from Chris' friend Kevin (the college boys just left for Mass....nice to see. They really are great guys) as he came down and saw his Easter basket: "An Easter Basket, a money Egg Hunt AND eternal life? I LOVE Easter"   (holy and lowly, baby, holy and lowly)

Have a great day. Top Tens return with the next post...your welcome.

HOLY AND LOWLY: LAST SUPPER

I know, this isn't actually the last supper, (and I know that the Last Supper actually is commemorated on Holy Thursday, so don't be sending me any emails or corrections. It just makes a nice title) but it is the last night of questions. Sorry to be posting so late. Long day, still jet lagged AND I spent the last several hours trying to find the answer to that Liz Lemon question. John, did she really say she could read people minds?? I thought she said she was a hologram...that was the answer I was looking for, but I must confess, John always seems to find some other answer that I didn't know existed, and then I have to apologize and eat my words and award EC points for my errors. So, I'm just giving everyone credit for the answer John said, because even after watching hours of 30 Rock video, I still can't find anything saying she can read people's minds, and the only thing I saw about jury duty was the excerpt from last night, where Liz Lemon, dressed as Princess Leia, said she was a hologram....But in reality, who are we kidding? the correctness points don't really mean shit anymore, it's all about the Extra Credit.

Last night's/today's comments were beyond excellent. I loved the poems, the jokes, the banter, the "remember whens" and all the love. Do not worry, there will be many posts and I will start another contest in May sometime..so none of us ever really have to say good bye. But I do think Stacy is right, we may need a little break after this one. Imagine, while you all are waiting for me to post up, I am simultaneously trying to make dinner, listen to Posey chatter about the latest Littlest Pet Shop animal, getting a rugby recap from Jack, pretending like I care about Dave McKeon's work life, watching prime time TV,  folding laundry, and scoring the blog...it's harder than it looks. And scoring the comments from last night's post was the hardest yet.

A little aside to Tricia: Do not feel bad about getting the "tooth brushing" letter from Dr. Crawford. We've gotten that a million times. It's a total boy thing. They never brush well enough and two of our boys have actually swallowed pieces of their braces that "somehow" broke off. No big deal. But here is our best Dr. Crawford story. a few years ago, Jack was getting his recheck from Dr. Crawford and was between sets of braces (yes, one set of braces is never enough for the McKeon children...we like to do two and sometimes three phases of orthodontia...I was so proud when Dr. Crawford's daughter graduated from dental school, because I know that I single handedly  paid her tuition...). Dr. Crawford did his examination of Jack to make sure that he was ready for round two, and said, "Well, Jack, I can tell that you haven't been wearing your retainer" and Jack looked at him and said in all seriousness: "I have a retainer???" That about sums up the relationship between boys and their braces..

Now, scoring tonight is rather tricky, because several of you have stopped actually answering the questions and instead, provide big sweeping paragraphs with the answer implied or embedded. (this means you, Brenna/Kim and sometimes Sue) and again, while correctness is only worth a few points, it does factor into the speed points, which can add up ...so I've done my best to try and keep track..Here goes:
John: 2 for being right (as long as the mind reading thing is correct--and I'm not sure it is, but I'm afraid to say it's not) and 6 for being first with both--total thus far: 8
Judy: 2 for being correct and I'm giving you 3 also for the Liz Lemon "dress funny and talk in a funny voice answer" but I'm not sure if you ever said the "harrowing of Hades" which should be the answer to the Holy question but then again you had a bunch of holy stuff in your answer, so I gave you correctness points and only one speed point Your total= 6
Suechi: 2 for being correct, and I gave you 4 speed points because I think you were second with both answers, again, as long as the whole "reading minds" thing is correct. Your total=6
Tricia: 2 for being correct )thanks for using the 1.  2.. format. Makes my job much easier...and I gave you the 1 speed point for the Liz Lemon thing...your total 3.
Sara, Mrs. Sarge, Kim, Louis--You all get two correctness points (again, based on the premise that John has some deep insight into Liz Lemon's jury duty episode that I couldn't find...if anyone knows otherwise, feel free to let me know)

I just want to let you know, that you all can feel free to appeal the correctness and speed scoring, if it comes down to a one point difference and I will gladly hear your case...but the EC points are totally subjective and all up to me...And here is how I've divvied up the 200 BIG, BIG points.

Brian: 10 points for providing answers to questions I should have asked--and anyone who brings up Chet Copick is a friend of mine. Your total tonight--10
Louis: 10 EC points for all of your random comments, for letting us eavesdrop on your love life, and for making us all laugh. ...12 for you
Mrs.Sarg: 20 EC points in sympathy for the broken furnace, for all the niceness, and for the Easter memories--22 points for you as well.
Kim: 20  EC points for all of the Holy comments and for confessing that you don't know who Liz Lemon is...nice to know someone's life is not ruled by television=22 for you
Judy: 20 for you. The failed lamb cakes make me laugh repeatedly. I'm with John, just go buy one...26 for you tonight
Tricia: 30 EC points for you. The USC jokes were a riot, and I too am so over the whole low carb thing. It  worked for a while, but now, I'm going no where with it and just want to eat a box of donuts..33 for you. Have you caught up to John yet? I hope Stacy is updating the chart, because I've totally lost track.
Sue: 40 very big points for you. So excellent with the poem, I totally loved it and I will make that egg thing for Easter and promise I will cook the sausage.
Stacy: 50 EC points for your masterpiece. It is a work of art and I couldn't have enjoyed it more. ..I only with I had more EC left to give you. Like I said, you have set the EC bar very high...keep it up.

Scoring tonight was beyond difficult. There are another 200 points to be awarded for tonight's questions. These are the last set and I'm hoping to make them good. I will then score tomorrow and announce the winners sometime on Sunday. (I hope Stacy has updated "the chart" or it may take me a little while),

Here are tonight's questions:
1. What is the most important Mass of the liturgical year?
2. Abby McClure is a single mother who begins to date again. At one point in the film, Abby's suitor comes over to discuss why she's giving him the brush off. Name: 1. the film, 2. The actress who plays Abby, 3. Abby's suitor and 4. name the two items he brings with him to woo her back...
Sorry this is being posted so late. I'm trying to find great questions and trying to be fair with the scoring , the EC and the whole deal. No top ten...again...it's just so late. I will give you guys all day tomorrow and well into the night to answer the questions. I will very fittingly reveal the winners early on Easter Sunday morning--
Good luck with that 4 parter and don't forget...now is the time to WOW me with your EC prowess...good, good luck to all...you are playing for the booze...and a bunch of other stuff..

HOLY AND LOWLY: HOLY THURSDAY?

Tonight will be a very quick post because I am suffering from delayed jet lag....and really need to go to bed earlier than usual. Also, Chris just got home with his posse, and in their honor, I just finished making 5 dozen chocolate chip cookies. I also made prime rib for Dave, because he is a living, breathing carb shunning spartan.... The boys, all ten of them, went off to Wingstop, our back up  kitchen, but will be back soon for food round 2: cookies and cheetos...or some other awesome combination like that.

Last night's questions once again raised some controversy. According to my sources, Perry Mason only lost one case. I'm not sure where everyone else is getting their answers, but you all sound pretty convincing. I will hold my ground on the Tamara Mellon/Jimmy Choo answer because I am a shoe expert, but this whole Perry Mason thing? I'm not sure. So, because I do not want to ace anyone out of these critical points at this critical time--I will accept one, two or three (or all of the above, Sara)  However, the  Holy answer is Fig Monday. (Sue and Kim, did you say Fig Monday? I couldn't tell. There were an awful lot of words in Sue's answer, and the word fig was in there so I'm counting it--for Kim, too)

Here's how the regular and speed points shake:
Brian: 1 for the Perry Mason question (did you answer the Holy question at all? ) and 3 for being first with it. I hope you are in this contest because you just got 4 points
Sara: 2 for being right, and 2 for being second with the Perry Mason question=4
Tricia: 2 for being right and 2 for being second with Fig Monday=4
John: 2 for being right and 3 for being first with Fig Monday and 1 for being third with Perry Mason=6
Suechi: 2 for being right (I think) and 1 for being third with the holy question ( I think fig monday was implied in your answer...)=3
Judy, Stacy, Kim, Louis and Irish Pete: all get 2.
I have not heard from Chris, Amy or Mrs Sarge--I waited as long as I could, but I really need to go get some sleep...sorry you guys, you can make it up over the next two 200 point days.
Here is some EC:
John: 10 pts for the US list=14 for you
Sara: 10 pts for jumping back in the game=14
Sue; 10 pts for the lengthy Raymond Burr and Holy lesson=13
Kim: 10 pts for the seat kicking story=12
Judy: 10 pts for the PhD in Perry Mason losses=12
Brian: 50 pts for refusing to google or wikipedia the answers. Who says honesty and innate knowledge doesn't pay? If you clean up these next two nights, Brian Pond, you could easily end up in the money. Nice job.
Special aside to Stacy--I know that you can't post from your hotel. No worries, keep emailing me, and once Jamarcus fixes my email, I will add your comments to the mix. Other aside to Stacy, just blew the protein diet for a spoon full of cookie dough. Whenever I get tired, all bets are off...and I could live on cookie dough, I have lived on cookie dough...

Very well done to all with the extra credit. You have two more chances to wow me with your humor, knowledge, talents and skills. 200 extra credit points ride on tonight's questions. No pressure, but let's not forget just how special that bead bracelet is, let alone those Long Island Iced Teas...so, bring it home people. Don't ease up now. Kick to the finish.
Here are tonight's questions:

1. What event is associated with Holy Saturday in the Coptic Church?
2. Why did Liz Lemons say that she shouldn't have to serve jury duty?  

Remember, 200 EC points are on the line here. Answer the questions, give it your best shot and may the best man/woman/child win.

HOLY AND LOWLY: IN THE HOME STRETCH

Though thoroughly jet lagged, we are back in the US and had some KFC grilled chicken on our way home from O'Hare to prove it (Stacy, I am still on the no carb diet, but just barely...and  kind of took a pass toward the end of our trip.) And now I am posting up some quick questions as we head into the Home stretch of the Holy and Lowly Challenge. We have one heck of a race and those Heinzmanns are out in front. I keep trying to find ways to deny them points, but in good, Holy and Lowly conscious I just can't. They are always right, they are very fast and they are really great with the comments...the H & L trifecta. What can I say?

But, do not despair. As we head into the final days of Holy Week and the final days of this contest (the last questions will be posted on Good Friday--very fitting), starting tomorrow the EC points go up to 200, with one person able to earn 100 EC points at once, so it is still very much anyone's game. So, to be clear, tonight's question have 100 EC points at stake, tomorrow's and Friday's have 200 EC points each night, so even after tonight's scoring, there is still 500 points to be had. Bring your A games and let's see how this whole thing plays out.

It's very nice to be home, and I must report that the boys did a great job keeping the house neat, their sister alive and themselves out of jail. They exceeded my expectations. Our trip was wonderful--a real highlight from start to finish. Dave McKeon was a total champ, because in all  honesty, once he walked off the 18th green at St. Andrews, (or maybe after the four beers and the Long Islands at the Jigger Inn) it was all down hill for him. But he saw all the sights in London, fed all of Annie's friends, marked time on the bench outside Harrods, hardly complained at all this morning as we cabbed back to Harrod's to pick up the big Longchamp wheelie bag (it is indeed beautiful--I almost hated seeing it go down the conveyor belt into luggage underworld because I was afraid it would get dirty or stolen--don't worried, it made it out the other side unscathed) and did it all while paying in pounds--(the exchange rate blows) After we packed up all of Annie's winter things, (which she brought to our hotel in three shredded recycling bags--class all the way) we said good bye to our daughter (who was in the throws of finishing an 8 page paper...) and headed to the airport. Where we promptly got upgraded to business class with the sweet bigger seats, better food and free drinks--very nice way to end a stellar trip. (note to Louis: I will never go to a hostel. I wouldn't even have done it in college. I have huge issues with dirt, bugs, bad linens, etc. Annie wouldn't even let me see her flat because she knew it would send me over the edge--this is not a joke. I am only a tiny bit kidding when I say if I found out we had bed bugs or head lice, I would burn my house down and just start over)

London is so historic, so architecturally interesting, and so busy. You could stay for weeks and weeks and still see something new. (we missed the entire Chelsea area and only circled Hyde Park) Scotland was beautiful in an entirely different way, much calmer, much greener (though the parks in London are plentiful and gorgeous) and so friendly. I have a feeling that the McKeons will be in Scotland again...we really loved it.

On to tonight's scoring. Thanks for the update Stacy. This is way closer that I thought and as I said above, it is still anyone's game to win. Once again, Tricia buzzed in first with both AND and Tamara Mellon. Sorry, I didn't mean to mislead you guys--according to both Vanity Fair and CNBC Europe, Tamara Mellon is the founder of Jimmy Choo. Her backstory is fascinating...I read that Vanity Fair article about her a few years ago and was intrigued. So here are the scores:
Tricia: 2 (for the correct answers) plus 6 more for being first with both. You are moving up fast and tonight's 8 points will only help.
Jamarcus: 2 for being right and 2 for being second with the Holy=4
Louis: 2 for being right and 2 for being second with the lowly and 1 for being second with the holy=5
Stacy: 2 for being right and 1 for being third with the lowly=3
John, Judy, Suechi, Kim, Pete and Mrs.Sarge: 2 points for all of you.
Now, on to the Extra credit--and let me tell you, this was tough to decide because their were so many admirable things going on in the YCSMIHK blog community.
John: 10 EC points for you for giving the boys such great "dating" advice. I love to hear your dating stories and love even more when you share your wisdom with each other. I'd give you more EC, but you are WAY out in front, man, and I need to keep it close. Your total: 12 (but keep the many advice coming, because I got nothing)
Louis: 10 points for you for making nice with the crowd and for even imagining that I would go anywhere near a hostel. 15 for you tonight.
Judy: 10 points for the handicapped lamb cake. Nice work-12 for you.
Tricia: 10 points for your great stories and constant enthusiasm. I loved the list and the blond jokes your total: 18
Stacy: 10 points for you, too. The concert story was a total crack up, especially for me. While you were obviously a fifteen year old who looked older, I was a fifteen year old who looked like I was maybe eleven. One New Years Eve, I had a babysitting job for a family I didn't know (someone one of my sisters baby sat for, but because they were all  older and cooler than me, they all had New Year's Eve plans,...I did not) and when the mom came to pick me up (I was fifteen and babysitting a ten year old) she said "Are you sure you are old enough to babysit? You are smaller than my daughter..."  Not exactly what every fifteen year old girl wants to hear...13 for you tonight
Kim: 10 points EC for you, too. Your comments are always insightful and make me smile. 12 for you tonight.
Mrs. Sarge: 20 points for you. The Sarge story was priceless and I loved the way you told it. Great advice for the youngsters and a great reminder to all of us about those first heady days of young love.
Sara: 20 points for you. Get back in the game, missy--It's On.

OK, I think that is 100 points. Remember, tonight's questions have 100 EC points attached and then 200 each night for Thursday and Friday's questions. And speaking of questions: here are the one's for tonight:

1. What other name is Holy Monday sometimes known by?
2. 'Perry Mason' lost how many cases?

Hope someone is awake to answer these brain benders. Time to make your move, Sara. Good luck. I'm going to to bed.