Friday, February 28, 2014

POST OLYMPICS--IN THE TANK

The Olympics are over, and my life feels a little empty.  However, once the hockey teams barfed all over themselves, (Really?? We lost to Finland 5-0??--I will give the woman's team some credit for at least making it to the final game, but allowing those two goals at the end? C'mon.  We're better than that) I must admit, even I kind of lost interest.  And we got smacked down by the Ruskies…Oh, well, bring on PyeongChang. At least the South Koreans won't bomb us in our sleep.   And kudos to Russia for making fun of the non opening ring. That was cool.  Of course, it's pretty easy to be magnanimous when you WIN the damn Olympics….in your own country….with your own judges…ok--obviously it stills stings a little for me.

Best take aways from the Olympics? Johnny Weir and Tara Lipinski--but mostly Johnny--his clothes, his commentary, his whole awesome attitude. Way to make a statement in homophobic Russia without being hugely militant and political about it.  And Billie Jean King could never have pulled that off  pink jacket Johnny wore on Day Three. So, Here's Johnny (and Tara): Note his green jacket--I think he is an Irish Fan-AND he's ready for the Masters.



So, in my Olympics-less life, I have a bit of free time and this is what happens:

I start watching other TV shows…like Shark Tank, which I wholly and utterly love. (except for Mark Cuban who is SO f'ing full of himself…he had some big old rant about patent laws the other night that totally made me want to punch him in the throat--what an ego---and he gets super pissed if anyone has the nerve to challenge him….And, pay close attention if you watch the show--that cheap bastard NEVER gives anyone any money EVER unless it's a total sure thing for him--give me Barbara any day) So, on that cnbc (official channel of Dave McKeon) on Tuesday nights, they show the Shark Tank.  (hahaha--doesn't it sound like that last sentence was written by some one's Jewish or Italian grandma?? I wish I had a Jewish grandma. They seem so great--I digress)   Bottom line-- I watched Shark Tank on Tuesday, enjoyed it immensely, even though the first episode was a rerun.  (the ones where they do the whole flashback thing, showing what a big difference the Sharks made on the businesses they help--and it's true.  They do.)

On Tuesday's first episode, they had this very nice lady from the South who made cakes with her mom. The sharks were raving about the cakes, (seriously, they looked like some mighty fine cakes AND they come in a real nice tin) but were a bit leery about investing in her cake business because it seemed too regional, had no plan for more labor, etc…and after beating up poor Mrs. Daisy for a while, eventually Barbara cut a deal with her and the rest is history. You know where this is going, right?  Yes, not one, but two Daisy Cakes will be delivered to my door early next week.  (they would have been here sooner, but due to the high demand from other rubes like me who fell for the Shark Tank rerun, they are delayed a few days) I am praying it arrives on Fat Tuesday--that would be perfect.  I will keep you posted in regard to this cake.  According to the inter web, Daisy Cakes has had some issues with shipping (which will put me in serious Lenten jeopardy because I am eating this cake the MINUTE it arrives--) but everyone universally agrees that the cakes themselves are delicious.  We shall see. (question: Do you think I can write off the cost of these cakes as "research" for this blog gig?)


I wish I could say that this was the first (or even the second time) I have ordered or tried to order something as seen on Shark Tank. And I'm not going to lie--usually it's food--Here are a few samples:

-Wicked Good Cupcakes-(the cupcakes in a jar) Yes, I bought these and yes, they were good. https://www.wickedgoodcupcakes.com/shop-online.aspx#.UxCwov00Ng0

-Fat Ass Fudge--While I seriously considered it, just for the name alone  (who wouldn't LOVE a box delivered to their home with a label that says Fat Ass on it??), I did NOT actually pull the trigger--however, now that I'm looking at it again, I might have to reconsider--(it's been a long winter) -

-Bubba's Boneless Ribs Yes, I bought these too and I highly recommend them. Again, despite a few shipping glitches (unusually high demand because of the whole Shark Tank thing), these ribs were legit and I don't even like ribs. My boys loved them and No carb Dave approved---until he saw the VISA charge for them and was like: "Who is Bubba and why am I paying him?" I explained that Bubba was the genius whose boneless ribs he and his sons enjoyed a few weeks back.  He was not pleased: "If I knew those f'ing ribs cost that much, I would have put them in our safety deposit box. What were you thinking???"(most of my conversations with Dave McKeon end with the lines "What were you thinking? And often, it's a pretty legitimate question)  I tried to explain Bubba's patented de-boning process, (it took him, like 20 years to get that patent) how unique it was and the amazing fact that in just two microwaveable minutes, you will be enjoying a veritable, boneless rib feast royale. To which Dave McKeon replied: "Royale, my ass.  The kids can eat cheap ribs with the f'ing bones still in them. I don't care if they choke." Read about Bubba for yourself at:  http://www.cleveland.com/dining/index.ssf/2013/12/al_bubba_baker_gets_some_love.html
Here's my man Bubba: His ribs are really good…(and kind of expensive)

And now--Daisy Cakes.  (Too bad the Olympics didn't last a little longer…I am really packing on the pounds during this long winter of my discontent….Lent can't get here fast enough.)

It's not just the food that I fall for on the Shark Tank (however, to be honest, it is only the food that I buy). Many, many Shark Tank products catch my eye--That maternity hospital gown was a REALLY good idea (and the woman who made it was a FOOL not to hook up with Barbara to make it happen).

HUGE ASIDE: I have often said that hospital gowns need to be totally reconfigured. They don't fit at all, have the whole weird exposed back door thing going on and are impossible to tie or fasten without a third arm. EVERY time I go to the doctor, despite very clear and repeated instructions "to leave the opening in the back" I knowingly and willfully put the damn gown (really, "gown"???  that is a total misnomer) on backwards, with the opening in the front, like a bathrobe, because they are so big you can wrap the thing all around you and get full coverage.  I would much rather my doctor think I am a full fledged, deaf moron than have the opening in the back--(tho my doctor is getting wise to me.  Last time I was in, he made me switch it--so now I ask for two--one to wear as ordered, and one to wear like a robe--Hey, how about a little dignity here??) For some reason, none of the Sharks were interested in the fancy hospital gown, except for Barbara.  Quite possibly because men really don't care if they have full coverage.  Personally, if I had more time and knew how to sew, I would reinvent the hospital gown--with a heavy emphasis on the gown part.

Ok, back to the Tank--The scrubbing broom was not half bad, and with the unrelenting cold from this winter, I could really use that dryer invention that shoots the heat back into your house-- but while all these products are super tempting, it's the Daisy Cake(s) that I really want….soon…like tomorrow.  Upside to Daisy Cakes--they are way cheaper than the ribs AND the Christmas cakes I ordered from Neiman Marcus a few years back, (again, "What were you thinking??" Well, that I wanted an awesome cake that looked like a present--yes, that's what I was thinking. Aren't you glad you asked? ) so…I'm feeling really good about them-- a real win/win.

The non CNBC Shark Tank is on tonight--the one on ABC.  You know what I will be watching.  Kind of praying there is no food on this episode. My pants are getting really tight.

Today's Top Ten:

1. Brian "Breezy" Kiernan--The most eligible bachelor in the nation.  A witty, urbane gentleman who has been known to spring for Louboutins, just because...  Line up, ladies, he's the real deal.

2. Daisy Cakes--I hope they live up to the hype.

3. The Velvet by Graham and Spencer White Dress that I saw in Bazaar Magazine and cannot find on their website.  This is killing me and makes me want it all the more, though, if I cannot get rid of my rib and cake winter gut, I should probably just let this one go.

4. Still Life with Bread Crumbs by Anna Quindlen--I used to love her column WAY back in the day. Her fiction is pretty good, too. Nice book for middle-aged woman.  John Heinzman, skip this one.

5. The bacon from the deli counter at Festival Foods. I may have already said this, but it bears repeating. This is some mighty fine bacon.  (and still,…I wonder why I have a gut…)

6. Jack Rogers--now on sale on Gilt.  Summer will arrive eventually and now is the time to stock up on new JRs.  I love the orange suede and the navy.

7.These awesome Burberry boots. Kind of the opposite of Jack Rogers, but still very nice. They are now on sale on zappos.  Of course they are.  I bought mine last year, but have really gotten my money's worth this season. They are very warm, AND the boots look way better than this stupid picture of them. Go see them for real on Zappos.

Hahaha--this picture is cracking me up.

8. This Month's Vanity Fair. --The article on Wendy Murdoch is reason enough to get this hefty collectors addition.

9. House of Cards--I am obsessed, obsessed and utterly obsessed.  Despite the weird interlude with the driver, Season 2 did not disappoint. Claire Underwood: "What should we serve the Walker's for dinner?" Frank: "Cyanide" Claire: "That's for dessert".  Best dialogue ever.

10.  The YCSMIHK Lenten contest that will begin next week.  Get ready, Dear Readers, this will be a contest Royale.  (just couldn't let the Wizard People thing go---and I was so, so close)


Wednesday, February 19, 2014

OLYMPIC FEVER--PART 2

"Magical deeds are afoot, Dear Readers,  magical deeds"...(seriously, I will get past the Wizard People, Dear Readers references at some point. There are just so darn many of them...and they are great) "Harry made a mental note...I assure you, the mental notes are stacking up..."

After enjoying a fine, fine weekend at Notre Dame celebrating Junior Parents Weekend with young Jack and his pals, I am back, hitting the blog again.  Just a very quick aside about JPW in particular and the blog in general.  First, to all the ND students who made the weekend so terrific--Thank you.  And a big shout out to Nick Turner, Matt Kelly and their housemates for opening your lovely home for a true celebration of all that it means to be a Junior at Notre Dame.  Sweet Notre Dame table, by the by. I hope it will be bequeathed to Jack McKeon at the end of your Notre Dame careers.  And who knew Skinny Dave and young Jack could compete so mightily in the beer pong match of the century? Well done all the way around.  I tip my invisible hat to the Somich men.  Valiant effort.

Next, about the blog--I cannot tell you just how delighted I am that people actually read this blog.  I mean it. Every day I am stunned, surprised and amazed that anyone (even those related to me) read this stuff. However, because of some totally deep seeded psychological oddness on my part (It's me...it's not you), whenever anyone comes up to me and says: "Hey, I like the blog!" (which is a perfectly normal and actually very nice thing to say) I turn into a stumbling, inarticulate idiot.  I know.  I can feel it (and I'm sure you can feel it too,) it's so, so awkward...("This guy, this guy is an ape armed, aped legged awkward..."  Drunk history reference about Abe Lincoln, so at least I'm in good company) Seriously. I am rarely at a loss for words, but when people want to chat up the blog, I get all tongue tied and can't complete a coherent sentence. (Just ask that really nice girl named Mary at JPW--sorry, Mary, I'm a freak)

I've spent some time analyzing this and this may be why: 1. I think people expect me to say something funny or clever, when they meet me (which I'm sure is totally untrue--people are just trying to be nice, but I FEEL like it's true--told you I was mental) and it makes me panic, so I stutter out some unintelligible comments like :"Thanks" "My sons are shidiots" "And I'm sorry." all at the same time.  It's so stupid on  my part, but I can't help it. Let's all be perfectly clear here: I am way funnier on paper than I am in person. I'm not sure why, but it's totally true, so when you speak to me, in real life--I've got nothing--literally nothing to say.  (except the above 3 comments) 2. Most of you know way more about me--because of this free form, no filter blog-- than I will ever know about you, so I'm at a bit of a disadvantage--so again, I just kind of stutter, and think "Oh, shit, what did I say in that damn blog??" . 3. And finally--and this makes NO sense at all, but it's true--When people say: "Hey, read the blog" or whatever, it finally dawns on me that all the stupid, stupid shit I write is being read--by LIVE people.. real humans who may actually cross my path in REAL life.  And then I'm just embarrassed because I really probably should be, you know?

 So, if you don't mind, let's have the vast majority of blog related conversations take place in the blogosphere, (i.e. comment on the blog, please) where I am smart, witty and clever. If you do happen to see me in person (warning--I look way older than you would think, given my vocabulary and sophomoric taste in youtube clips AND I have a five head going on--five head= very large forehead, so just be forewarned--spoiler alert--soon and very soon, I will be blogging on whether or not I should get some bangs...) here's the deal: You don't have to say one, hot, thing about the blog, EVER but if you do bring it up, I will say "Thanks!" or "I'm sorry" and then we must totally move on to another topic,  hopefully about YOU, not me..

To make up for being such an inarticulate loser, here is another BIG head picture of Nate:

.

Now back to the stuff that really matters--USA dominance and the Sochi Winter Olympics. The Olympics, with all their glory and majesty, are in full swing and many, many great moments have happened since I last posted.  Sure, those Ice Dancers got a gold, (it was pretty awesome), but here are a few pieces of Olympic magic that caught my eye :

1. Bob Costas is back.  And he appears to have two functioning eyes. (Darn it...I was kind of hoping for an ongoing cyclops thing, just to give me something to focus on). Welcome back, Bob. http://hollywoodlife.com/2014/02/17/bob-costas-pink-eye-returns-nbc-olympic-coverage/  Syanora, Matt. And shave, next time. please.

2. Two man luge--this is an event for the ages.  I'm still baffled about how the luge even became an actual Olympic event, (looked it up on the interweb, but really found no good explanation...) but then to add two dudes to the luge?? That's crazy. This looks so much like something that would take place in my backyard after a long night at the Wooden Nickel that I can hardly stand it. Who thought this up? and what's next?   Having the cylcers in the summer Olympics ride a partner on the handle bars? It's super ugly, but I kind of love it.



3. Team Luge--How did this event slip under the radar??? Seriously, team luge relay should have gotten WAY more play. Did you see it? It's a total riot.  I swear, I'm the only one who watched it so people think I am making this event up, but it is for real: Here's how it works--the best female luger takes off from this gate that opens up, then she shoots down the track and hits this flap that hangs down at the finish line, this then triggers that gate to reopen and the best guy luger takes off, zips down, hits the pad again and then the men's double luge dudes takes off and once they cross the finish line, it's done. I'm not explaining it well, so here is more info from the always popular Entertainment Weekly. Yes, Team Luge Relay  is so goddamn entertaining that it's covered by Entertainment Weekly:
http://popwatch.ew.com/2014/02/13/olympics-luge-team-relay/

4. Women's Skeleton winner--Ok, Nicole Pikus-Pace is the true Olympic sensation. (Please, NBC, stop trying to make it be all about those figure skaters...I know Gracie Gold is really cute and has an awesome last name, but Nicole is the real deal) Hooray for her for bringing home our first medal in skeleton (whatever the hell that really is) AND having two kids, a husband, a normal attitude. and that very sweet commercial. I kind of love her.


5. Sports we made up 10 years ago that we no longer dominate.    Until this year, the US has won more snowboarding medals than any other nation. But I fear we are losing our hipster edge.  In the 2002, 2006 and the 2010 Olympics, the US won 10 of 12 possible medals in the men's half pipe.  This year we won ZERO! (aced out by the Japanese?? really??) However, good old American ingenuity to the rescue (see below)

6. New Sports the USA invented, aced into the Olympics and then ruled:--Let's face it. We will NEVER win a nordic anything (And as a nation slightly rabid about the second Amendment, we should be way better at the biathlon....), we totally suck at speed skating this year (nice job, Under Armor and Lockheed Martin with your stupid, fancy suits--see below) and we've lost our edge in the half pipe--(sad to see you go, Flying Tomato) so thank God for all the baggy pants slackers who keep inventing new Winter Olympic sports,  Because we are KILLING it in these new school events. Eleven of the 23 US Olympic medals have come in free style skiing and snowboarding, so thank you, Jeff Spicolli, the unacknowledged and unheralded godfather of all of these free styling youngsters (except David Wise) who are making things happen in Sochi.














7. Russian Hockey Team.  I actually kind of feel sorry for the Russian Hockey Team.  They were bounced out of competition today and you just know that Putin is PISSED! First, Russia had that weird goal called back on Saturday against the US because of a net issue and then, they lose to Finland! Russia really doesn't give a crap about all those figure skating medals--(and their best figure skating dude (who is a Patrick Doyle doppelganger) pulled out with a bad back--pussy) They were all about the hockey gold and now, they are out of the hockey competition and crying in their borscht. Here is a little quote from the Russian Olympic Hockey coach when asked if he was going to stay to see the rest of the Olympics:

"Well, I want to stay" he said "but that is probably a question to be answered by somebody else"  Yeah, like the KGB sniper squad...

8. Two Wardrobe Malfunctions:  Oh, I so love this.  The US had Under Armour and Lockheed Martin make these special Mach 39 fancy, high tech skating suits, touted as "the fastest speed skating suits in the world" but the US skaters never tested these suits in competition because we were sure some one was going to steal the super secret NASA speed skating suit technology.  Well, zero medals later, we've ditched the suits and....we still suck.  In other news, a Russian speed skater who actually won a bronze medal almost stripped off her non NASA suit forgetting that she had nothing on underneath it.  Yikes!





















9. My boy Jeremy Abbott--super nice of him to get that nasty fall during his long program out of the way early. I knew it was going to happen, I just wasn't sure when, so I really appreciate Jeremy wiping out on his VERY first jump.  BOOM goes the dynamite indeed. This is my Christmas. Really it is.



10. Olympic Carpet baggers-As the mother of the future Ecuadorean Curling Team, I have NO problem with people bogarting their way into the Olympics.  For the most part, they are not taking any medals away from legitimate contenders (except for that speed skating guy from South Korea who changed his name to Vicktor and won two medals for Russia) and are just hoping for the Olympic experience. ( BTW, Canada has the most fake "citizens" competing for them--surprising to me) but poor Gary and Angelica Di Silvestri, who live in New York and are US and Italian citizens respectively. The Di Silvestris were allowed to compete for Dominica based on some sort of philanthropic gesture they made in Dominica, and are Dominicas first ever Olympic athletes.  Well, it was all downhill for Gary and Ang, as neither was able to actually compete in Sochi...Gary got some stomach bug (probably drank the water) and skied only 300 meters before he collapsed and Angelica couldn't even start the cross country skiing, as she fell during practice and broke her nose.  Dang, talk about some carpet bagging karma. Sorry.  I couldn't find a picture of them post broken nose and stomach bug. but here's all I've got!



Once again, no top ten tonight because there are already ten things listed in this post.  I've done my job. Now, it's up to you.

"Everyone who does not suck begins to clap each other on the back and smile" (final Dear Readers reference...for today...)

The End

Monday, February 10, 2014

OLYMPIC FEVER

Lo, ho, ho, Dear Readers, ..."Chapter 14, Harry awakes to yet another Tequila sunrise..."

Honestly the turn around time on this blog is getting ridiculously fast. I am very close to scaring my own self.  New year, new me.  (until I revert back to the old year, old, lazy me.) And while Pioneer Woman has about 100 words and a picture of corn bread on her blog, THIS blog is chocked full of reams and reams of high quality, USDA certified choice literature and some very fine, fine links and photos that you will cherish forever.

Today's topic is all about the Olympics.  Sochi fever--catch it. The games are only a few days old, but there have been some super outstanding moments. Here are my 10 favorites, thus far

1. Bob Costas' pink eye --I am obsessed with this and a bit concerned that it's not cleared up yet. Obviously, I am not the only one intrigued/horrified by his conjunctivitis as others are chatting it up as well. I hope the pink eye gets its own twitter account like Pharrell's hat.  That would be awesome.   http://www.upi.com/blog/2014/02/08/Bob-Costas-eye-swollen-due-to-pink-eye/6511391903057/

2. The Olympic ring that never opened. I love technical difficulties and huge malfunctions, so this was right up my alley.  I heard that on Russian TV, they pretended like it did open up.  Go, Russia.

3. The guy responsible for the Olympic ring that never opened...you just know that he's in a Siberian gulag some where or at the bottom of a Russian river with a curling stone attached to his ankle. Putin will NOT put up with this shit.

4. Along those same lines, any skater who takes a tumble.  (I'm talking to you, Jeremy Abbott) The more they fall, the more I love it.  I swear, I've been known to yell: "BOOM goes the dynamite" every time one of those skittish skaters bites the dust.  Watching skiers fall is nowhere near as much fun...and when the snow boarders go down, they just kind of shrug, but those figure skaters are so damn high strung, that I get a total perverse sense of glee whenever any of them fall.  Sorry....Here's my boy Jeremy post fall:


5. The big Russian nesting doll on the snow boarding course: I've always had a thing for nesting dolls (who doesn't?) So I am thrilled that someone was cool enough to clog up the snowboarding course with this big blow up cartoon punching bag.  It's like a professional golfer having to putt into the clown's mouth or something.  Perfect for the laid back,  lit up world of snow boarding.



6. The Canadian sisters who won the Gold and Silver medals in the moguls.  Usually, I only like medal winners from the US, because I am a jingoistic, national anthem singing patriot, but these Canadian sisters are pretty darn sweet--and they held hands on the medal stand.  (And who doesn't love Canada? or as I like to call it: America's hat.) They actually have another sister in the Olympics who didn't medal. (Sweet Jesus, McKeon brothers,  there are four of you and not a single Olympic medal between you...lazy ass slackers.)

7. The Biathlon Penalty lap: Now we're talking.  Have you watched this at all? The competitors ski for a while, then whip out their guns and shoot at some targets. All these biathloners  are great shots,  (as well they should be--they're in the Olympics for Godsake) so it makes it even better that when they miss a target (and it doesn't happen all that often) they have to go ski this short little penalty lap.  And man, are they pissed....I so LOVE this concept...Could you imagine how much more fun the NBA would be if every time someone missed a free throw they had to run a lap around the court?! Penalties need to be incorporated in all sports.  It really adds to my viewing pleasure.

8. Three Goals in 55 seconds: As sweet as those Canadian sisters are, I take great, great pleasure in seeing the good old U.S. A whoop on other nations, even one as benign as Switzerland.  The US Women's Hockey team scored 3 goals in less than a minute (an Olympic record) in their 9-0 route of Switzerland. USA, USA! Of course, the Swiss turned right around and kicked our asses in curling, but still...

9. Curling--Every single time I see this sport I KNOW the McKeon brothers could totally dominate here and I am fully prepared to heavily fund some curling lessons.  This sport is the winter Olympic equivalent of corn hole, (and every other picnic game at which the McKeons excel), so let's put those skills to use and bring home a gold.  Honestly the US is so bad at curling that with some intensive, round the clock training, this could really happen.. Do you remember like ten or twelve years ago when Geena Davis (of Thelma and Louise fame) trained obsessively to become an Olympic archer? If Geena can become an Olympian through massive training in a real sport like archery, you shidiots should be able to sweep a rock down some ice.  Let's make a real commitment to this curling thing because I want to be in the next Proctor and Gamble commercial honoring Olympic moms.  

10. Curling Uniforms : I am VERY impressed by the Norway Curling Team's Uniforms.

However, this only further highlights that curling is a sport that has "McKeon brothers" written all over it.  Hell, I bet we already own those jackets.   Please, brothers, get a rock, buy a broom and start sweeping. You have the wardrobe and your country needs you. Seriously,  you've been training for this your whole lives:


You could wear these for the Olympics...

 or these....

And for sure these: 


Oh, yeah.  The trifecta--great jackets, bad hair AND Nate's big head.  Happy Olympics to us all.

No top ten today because this whole column is one big Top Ten.  You're welcome. Again.

Saturday, February 8, 2014

GROUP TEXT PART TWO

Hooray! Due to my desperate plea, we've picked up a few more followers and the comments were flowing.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.  And who knew Joanne was so darn handy? Fair trade clothes, home made sour dough, she's got it going on.

Valentine's Day is fast approaching.  To be more prepared for this great holiday, and to see some awesome Valentine's Day gift suggestions, please see my post from a few years ago at: http://youcantscaremeihavekids.blogspot.com/2011_02_01_archive.html   (full service, once again--two posts in one. You're welcome. ...And I still want that Hermes bracelet... I truly do. Also, if you have the time, take a quick glance at that Tiger Mom post immediately following the Valentine's Day one--it's really two posts in one and still rings true.  (so now, you are actually getting FOUR posts--Sweet Jesus, can this day get any better??)

Now, in other Valentine's Day news, young Chris McKeon is once again dating above his pay grade.  And he made the brilliant (or suicidal) gesture of sending out a group text asking what to put on the card for the flowers he is sending his young lady friend. (Obviously, he stole this idea from me as our last group text yielded Christmas card gold) Quick aside to Chris' lady friend: "I have not yet met you, but from what I hear, you seem like a nice girl. What the heck are you doing with Chris? Run, run now, run fast and run far.  Don't say I didn't warn you."

Here are a few of the choice selections for the special, special message of affection that Chris should send with his (yawn) roses...Again, the potential messages for the card are bolded in italics, the general McKeon banter is in quotations and my side comments are just there: 

Chris: "Hello, friends. I was wondering what to put on the cards for "Jane's" Valentine's flowers." (I have not yet met this young woman, and thus, in order to protect her privacy from the millions of people who will be reading this blog--I wish--I will call her Jane) "Hit me up with some good ones." 

Annie: I thought she was mad at you because you ditched her on her birthday. So maybe you should say: "Sorry for ditching you on your birthday. Our future looks bleak"  

Chris: "Haha. I didn't even ditch her. I just went to Club Landing before CJs"  (local hot spots, I presume?) "These's a reason it's Michiana's hottest club"

Nate: "Happy V-Day. I wish you'd tell me you love me like you did before the war."

Chris and Nate looked at the suggested messages on the flower website and came up with some of these beauties prior to the text session and shared them with the group:  
"Happy Valentines Day! I love you this many flowers much" 

"I forgot to tell you this whole time: I'm deaf. Happy Valentine's Day" 

 "Happy Valentines day, Hoffman." (Hoffman is a weird name that Pete uses all the time because he loves Charlie Hoffman the golfer--now that Philip Seymour Hoffman died, it seems kind of creepy) 

"I send you a kiss inside the petals of each of these roses...NOT. Happy Valentine's Day" 

"You take my breath away when you take my breath away." 

"You take my breath away when you smother me....with a pillow." 

Nate: "The smothering was all me" 

Jack: "You take my breath away when Crampus comes to feast. Happy Valentine's Day" (For those of you who don't know, Crampus is the Christmas devil (I guess) --for some reason he figures prominently in many McKeon conversations.  There is speculation that Crampus and Dave McKeon are one and the same. )

Annie: 'Unless there's a $50 prize involved, I'm not very motivated to contribute, considering I've never even met this girl" 

Jack: "Annie hates you. Happy Valentine's Day" 

Nate: "DRAAAIINNAAAGGEEE.  Happy Valentine's Day" 

Annie: " I will agree with whatever Pete suggests because I know his will be the best." 

Chris: "Hey, I can't afford $50, but I can cover chipotle for you" (every week the Notre Dame kids get together for Chipotle, usually with their cousins) 

Annie: "Just say: USA, USA, USA" since it is the Olympics. Which is more important than valentine's day. 

Nate: 'Good one, Annie"

Annie: or "Happy new season of House of Cards" 

Nate: "Never mind you BIRD BRAIN" (I'm not sure if he was saying this to Annie or for the card--Nate can be a bit hard to follow)

Jack: (sends a picture of three of those smiley face emoticons with the big teeth) and says "just send that...and draw them on the card with your left hand" 

Chris: "I like it" 

Nate: "Give her the flowers and immediately set them on fire. Then say: "Hope our love burns as strong as this flame, babe! Happy Valentine's Day! The flame should last for a few seconds" 

Jack: 'Hahahahaha" 

Annie: "Roses are red, violets are blue. Too bad you're getting carnations, because I hate you" 

Jack: "All hail, Good Queen Jane-a-slauce"

Nate: "Happy Valentine's Day from horses and robotrons" They got left off the Christmas card" 

Chris: "Dodd Frank here, wishing you a happy Valentines day."

Nate: "Is that some sort of West Wing thing?"

Chris: "No. It's a Wall Street reform bill" (Nice to know that Chris has learned at least one thing at ND)

Nate: "They turned Dodd into a bill?? Those monsters!" 

Chris: 'Jack, I'd draw those emojis, but this transaction is happening on the line"  

Nate: "Bye the way, why isn't yalobushaema included in this text?"

Annie: "What is yalobushaema?"

Chris: "When dad was texting us all about some car issue, somehow he had this yalobushaema contact in his phone and included her/him in the group text. AND he left you out" 

Chris then shows the screen shot of the texts from Dave including yalobushaema. 

Annie: "HAHAHAHAHA what the heck? Who is that?"

Chris: "Haha. Well dad thought it was you" 

Annie: "Must be his other daughter....that's not Posey"

Chris: "That or he was hitting those 64 calorie man beers too hard to text"

Nate: "Hahahaha"

Chris: "Talk about the pussification of America" (I think is referring to the 64 calorie beers...) "Boys, let's get those animal headed pipes to help restore the balance in the universe" (I believe Chris is referring to the pipes at Andreas --where Pete is the trash hauler--that are carved into the shape of animal heads. They obviously are very manly pipes.)  

Nate: "He made a very nice recovery when we called him out on it...And yes, Christopher, let's." (get the pipes...or restore the balance of the universe?! maybe both? ) 

Jack: "Well, well, well, It looks like the boys will have to singlehandedly save this nation."

Chris: "Wouldn't be the first time.  Remember that nucular (sic) reactor?" (spelling and pronunciation courtesy of George Bush...and Madagascar Three) 

Me: "Holy hell, I just got off of a conference call and I had 84 texts...What's going on here? I've missed the whole thing." 

Annie: "Better scroll way up." 

Chris: "I need some suggestions for the card for the Valentine's Day flowers I'm sending "Jane".  I am the moderator now, Laur. Time for you to give some suggestions. Oh, how the mighty have fallen."

Pete: finally joins in.  "Why do we always do these while I'm in AP Chem?" 

Chris:  "How's Meyer" 

Me: "So what is Chris going to put on the card?"

Annie:"Just send her this as the card:"



Chris: "Hahahaha" 

Me: "hahaha"

Jack: "I like this one"

Nate: "NUCULAR REACTOR, BABY! THIS IS WHAT WE LIVE FOR" 

Annie:
(Have you ever seen this show? It's from that super funny Australian guy Chris Lilley who did Summer Heights High. His new show is called Ja'mie: Private School Girl. This is Ja'mie......)

Me: "Annie is on fire. Can you put these photos on a card?"

Chris: "Yeah, Nate, how about that nucular reactor"

Annie: "


Chris: "Madagascar 3: Europes Most Wanted"

Nate: "Don't you mean nuclear?" 

Chris: "NUCULAR" 

Nate: 


Annie: 

Chris: "I already asked her that in person" 

Chris again: "Nessun dorma" (you all probably know that nessun dorma is an aria from a Puccini opera.  I did not.  Chris is just showing off now.) 

Nate: "Just play Talk Dirty by Jason derulo and you can't go wrong" 

Me: "Nate wins" 

Nate: "Nessun dorma, too" 

Annie: 

Chris: "Perfecto" "Qu ando la Luce. Splendera!"

Annie: "Isn't this the message Chris wanted to use for our Christmas card? This should be perfect for his Valentine"


Chris: "The flowers are actually for my favorite sister yalo."

Me: "Where are you finding these? I am so using that butter one. And when did we go bilingual?" 

Chris: "When I started listening to Nessun dorma with Nate" 


Annie: "This little thing called the internet, mom, ever heard of google?"

Chris: "Yeah, mom, you dinosaur" 

Annie: 


Nate: "Annie is really good at the internet" 

Chris: "Annie, you should work for Google" ..."Or the penguins' 

Me: "I know, but how do you text them?" "And if I transcribe this conversation, how will I get them onto the blog?" 

Annie: "Copy and then paste them into the convo"

Nate: "Save them on your phone.  Then they will already be in your photos" 

Chris:"Save them to your phone....and use your thumbs when you text.  I don't think iphones register index finger texts anymore" 

Annie: "Or learn how to text from your computer like I do and all your dreams will come true" 

Me: "That's never going to happen. If you all knew how long it takes me to get those photos on my blog you would die...and I still can't get them to line up like they do in the draft copy. Once I hit publish, the picture get all shifty" 

Chris: "Don't worry.  All of these are on the line, so you can use them on the blog...fear not" 

Me: "I fear" 

Annie: 


Chris; 'Ah, yes, Chantal Dubois"

Nate: 
(when Nate put this in the group text it was a movie and those little girls were kicking each other. It was pretty funny, but I don't know how to make that happen in this blog...and I text with my index fingers)

Annie: "haha. Good one Nate" (I told you it was better as a movie...you can probably find it on the line and watch it for yourself or take my word for it.)

Chris: "Nate, let's reenact this"

Annie: "I want to call a surprise witness to the stahhhnn.."

Me: "By the way, Annie, how did you like that picture of you from CATS?"

Annie: "I did not like it"

Nate: "Chris, say: I want to kiss you right meow" 

Chris: "I want to kiss you right meow" 

Nate: "On the card, Bird brain" 

Annie: 'Use this" 

Me: "Happy Valentine's Day from 105.9 the cruise and drive" 

Chris: "That doesn't even any make sense."

Chris again: "To people who don't know how funny it is.  Gotcha" 

Chris yet again: "I have to go to class now, family. Please continue with the comments. We've yet to hear from young Peter or his new mii Hoffman"

Nate: "I have to go to class too. I am going to intercept Christopher on the quad" 

(Jack already left for MCAT review class. His humor is missed).

Chris: "Good luck, little boy. I own Debartolo Hall. I am the one who keeps setting the fire alarm off"

Nate: "Good. Keep it up. It got me out of class today" 

Chris: "haha. Me, too. Two days in a row."

Annie: "Come set it off in the law school, please" 

Chris: "Oh, sweet, simple Annie. Don't you realize that there is something much bigger going on here?"

Pete finally comes to play: "Just say: Last time I saw you I forgot to laugh so hard I fell off my dinosaur" Hoffman out. 

Pete: "I'm just going to rattle off a few here: "Happy Tine's Day. Chin chin" 

Pete again: "Don't stop breathing. Love, Chris" 

Annie: "Caution: Troll zone"

Pete: "I'll love you until I blow up your mailbox. Signed, Justice" 

Pete: "Is the man keeping you down/ Well, don't just do that, and go ooooonnn and on about it! Come with me for your Valentine Boy. I have all that's at stake for you, honey. Don't worry it won't even be a bumpy road that we travel on because it's smooooth as a silk from her til the moon. Your crazy, greasy love boat, Chris" (I have no idea what any of this means...) 

Pete again: "Hi. I'd like to order a Jake Burger"

Nate: "I hate your laugh so much. Happy Valentine's Day" 

Annie: "I like that last one, Pete." 

(OK, this is a total break in the conversation here, but I'm watching the Olympics and what the heck is up with Bob Costas' pink eye? He must have used the tainted water in his hotel room and got an infection. How awful.  Don't they have those drops in Sochi? And seriously, what a total shit show over there--but I did like the outfits of Bermuda's team (i'm using the word "Team" loosely. I think they only have one athlete) Back at it...

Nate: "BABOOM!!" 

Pete: "Run"

Nate: "Are you a girl? Because you  must be. Happy Valentine's Day" 

Pete: "I've never loved anyone as much as I love food. Happy Valentine's, girly" 

Chris: "Hahhahahahhah! Pete is too good"

Chris again: "Back from class, Dear Readers. You look pale. Have you been checked for diseases? Happy Valentine's Day!" 

Annie: "At least I'm not a hideous F***er" 

Pete: "There are more US Congressman than there are pandas in the world. Happy Valentine's Day.  Blegh" 

Annie: just sends an emoji of a panda head

Pete: sends two emojis--the panda head and a gun, with these words: "Just do it" 

Annie: 'I'm going home for Valentine's Day. I have money" and then sends the emojis of cash, the money bag and a visa card.  (if there is some way to put these emojis in this blog, someone needs to tell me.  Otherwise, I can only describe them) 

Annie again: sends the emojis of the bomb, the gun, the knife, the syringe and the pill (this is pretty much my signature sign off of emojis--or the black moon with the crown--which stands for the black queen, which is what my kids often call me)

Chris: "Liquid gold" 

Annie: "Be my Valenswine" then sent two emojis of pig heads. 

Chris: "Glorious" 

Annie: "Then give her bacon instead of flowers" 

Me: 'A bacon bouquet is the new roses" 

Pete: "If Krampus and Cupid had a baby. I'd be looking at it right now. Love you, babe--Happy Valentine's Day..Massacre"

Chris: "Pete, you need to get into the card business"

Pete: "Just print this out and send it to her" (I would rotate this, but this is how it came in the text stream, so I'm just leaving it) 



Chris: "I'm ordering on line, humans. These pictures aren't going to work" 

Annie: "That was your first mistake" 

Pete: "Hey, 'Jane'! Save me a piece of that corn! Save me a piece of that corn for later!" 

Pete: "Is it hot in here or is that my rash acting up again? Love ya!"

Chris: "it's the rash" 

Pete: "OK, Chris, cut to the chase.  What's on the short list for the card?"

Chris: "Really, the short list is anything you've said, Pete, since the rest of these tech wizards used so many pictures...except for Mom" 

Chris again: "Actually, there's actually some real gold here from everyone. A real treasure trove, if you will" 

Annie: "Be my Valenswine!  accompanied with a beautiful bacon bouquet is the clear winner."

Me: "Thank you. thank you. My idea.  Bacon bouquet is always the winner" 

Chris: "I do love a bacon bouquet" 

And obviously so does this young man: 


This one's for you, Fat Pat. I always deliver.  

Happy pre Valentine's Day! If you actually do re-read that blog from 2011, you will note that the card is every bit as important as the gift. I appreciate the enormous effort that went into "Valentine Jane's" card. I'm hoping you all do a better job telling your special someone how much you care. 


Today's top ten: 

1. The USA Olympic sweater. It's pretty sweet: USA, USA! 



2. Enough Said--a great movie with Julia Louis Dreyfuss and James Gandolfini. Available on OnDemand. It got a 96 on rotten tomatoes and was great for a cold, cold night. 

3. Heated pants.  They really do exist. I have never seen these in real life, but for the last several days, the only time I am warm is when I am driving in my car with the heated seat on full blast, so I decided that I wanted heated pants for Valentine's Day. I found these on the line, and think that I may  actually wear them. http://www.thewarmingstore.com/gerbing-heated-pant-liner.html#.UvXdvxbtJUQ

4. The Hive--terrific British book recommended by my sister Wendy. British writers make everything seem smarter. 

5. The swing coat on sale at Lands End.  I bought this in green for next year's football season. Annie has it in camel.  We hit the coat sales pretty hard after Christmas and this was a favorite: http://www.landsend.com/products/womens-luxe-wool-swing-car-coat/id_249683

6. Hubertus von Hohenlohe: The sole competitor from Mexico in the Olympics. He's a German prince, was a buddy of Andy Warhol, is fluent in five languages and is wearing a specially made mariachi outfit to ski in. He can't be stopped. 

7. The bracelets from Project FEED. The Links of London ones are very, very cool. The heart one could make a very special Valentine's Day gift. I have the peanut one because it makes me laugh.  The FEED tassel bracelets are only $10 and come in many colors.  I bought a bunch as Christmas gifts and they were a big hit. AND FEED is always a great cause. http://www.feedprojects.com/shopping_product_list.asp?catID=3675

8. Crazy, Rich Asians--totally trashy book, but I loved it.  Sorry. 

9. Panera's turkey chili--nutritious, delicious and quite healthy. 

10. Bacon Bouquet--I told you it exists: Happy Valenswine's Day!!












Monday, February 3, 2014

RECIPES?

I am watching this debacle of a Super Bowl and feeling really bad for Peyton Manning.  Hey, Peyton, the McKeon boys can feel your pain.  Every year they fold like a cheap tent in the state tennis tournament, so you are in good company. Olivia Manning and I have so much in common.  Hahaha.  Even I can't make that comparison with a straight face.

Thanks for the hits on the last posts, (and how do you like this new look? not sure I love it, but the photo is a keeper) This blog literally writes itself, or at least that last post did, as I just transcribed that group text...  All I had to do was figure out the punctuation, and I really didn't even get that part right...

However, we may need a few reminders about the whole blog thing--- I know it's been a while since I've posted consistently, and obviously, you've forgotten all the blog etiquette and camaraderie we built up over the  years. Don't worry,  I don't blame you...I blame myself.

Remember, rule 1: Please, try to comment on the actual blog.  I need the feedback, the affirmation, and at least a few comments. In the words of Nate McKeon from the last post: "Like me, please like me",  I know the Facebook is awesome, but comments on FB don't show up on the blog and don't add to my stats. Thank you, Judy Pulera, for remembering and following the rules.  If I were running a contest right  now, you would be the winner.  Rule 2. For you new folks, (I'm talking to you, Fat Pat) would it kill you to sign on as followers? I'm kind of holding steady at around 110 followers. I need to see some jump in stats or I lose motivation to keep writing these scintillating prose. Rule 3. Please share! And share again.  I need some volume and I can't keep carrying this blog singlehandedly--I'm pretty much doing all the heavy lifting here,  please do your part.  Thanks.

I must be getting back into the blogging zone, as I made the mistake of checking out that Pioneer Woman's blog.  Have you heard of her? That home schooling, recipe writing, small appliance hawking, personality? She has like a jillion followers, a ton of advertisers and her own TV show.  Seriously. I don't want a tv show.  ( I have a face for blogging, and the vocabulary of Joe Pesci in Goodfellas-- I'd be bleeped all day long on TV) but I would like a few more comments on the blog.  Is that too much to ask? Also, Pioneer Woman home schools her kids....which is admirable...I guess.  But I will totally admit, if I home schooled my kids, it would not end well.  It would be a glorified book club, with some really great field trips for shopping and lunch. So, I'm giving her all the props in the world and I don't begrudge her her home school audience, or her TV show, but please, tell me straight...are you all really looking for recipes? Pioneer woman has a million of them. And a million people seem to love them.  I personally could give two hoots about recipes, but I guess if recipe sharing is expected in the blogosphere, I will do my damnedest,...once.  Today and today only, is recipe day. And then never again.

I hate to cook. I truly do.  (I think I wrote about this once before and I know I did in my column for the Kenosha News, but it bears repeating) I like to bake, but that is only because I like to eat baked things (cookies, cakes, pies, etc.) I fully admit, I only cook to keep my family alive, and even that I do sporadically. (They are all still alive, I've done my job)  So, most of my recipes are things like:
  • Chicken--Take chicken and put it in the oven at 350.  Remove when done.  
  • Tenderloin--Take tenderloin, (beef or pork) put it in the oven at 350. Remove when done.  
  • Potatoes--Take potatoes, put them in the oven at 350.  Remove when done.
You get the idea.  If a recipe has more than five ingredients, I will not make it. And even if it has less than five, I am usually missing most of them, and revert to the tried and true recipes above. But, if recipes are what you people want, recipes are what you are going to get.  Below are some family favorite McKeon recipes that you will love and share with your loved ones.  Yeah, right.





First, a little aside--are recipes copy written? I'm just asking because I honestly don't know anyone who invents meals or makes up their own recipes. (except obviously Pioneer women--who's blogs are WAY shorter than mine, so I like to think that I am a way better value--more words per blog for sure)  Everyone uses a cook book or a recipe they got from someone else  Let's face it, Charlie Trotter is dead (too soon?) and everyone else just plagiarizes everyone else's work.  Here's an example: Someone gave me Anne Romney's cook book for Christmas (FYI There are many photos in this cook book. Say what you want about the Romney politics, but they are one good looking Mormon family and Anne Romney was in amazing shape when her kids were little. She claims they ate fluff a lot.  I claim she is a liar--and a stealer, read on, Dear Readers....)  I noticed that Anne Romney's recipe for chocolate chip pan cookies is the exact same one that is on the back of the bag of Nestle's chocolate chips, which is basically the same recipe that the entire free world uses (including me-and if you make that dough with out the chips, put it in a pan, and stick it in the oven at 350 until done-- BOOM! best blondies ever- Take that Anne Romney) Can you really take credit for a recipe that's in the public domain like that? Hell, maybe I can write a cook book. And does Mitt know about Anne's propensity to steal recipes?  It's like Kitty Dukakis drinking the cough syrup all over again.  

Right here I wanted to insert a photo of me cooking.  But no such photo exists. So here is a picture of Annie and Posey when they were in the play CATS!! And another picture of Nate with the big head. I can't get enough of the big head years--Despite the giant dome, that seer sucker suit is a fine, fine look. 
























Back on track: Here are a few McKeon favorites. They are simple, time tested and I've even included the gluten free version for many of them, because this is a full service blog. Teachers, grab your spell bags--here we go:

10 Recipes--just for you, just for today, and never again.
  1. Chicken--see above,  Hint: Keep the skin on the chicken pieces, salt and pepper them, and then put pats of butter on the chicken. Butter = kitchen magic. 
  2. Tenderloin--see above.  No butter--just salt and pepper.  You seriously CANNOT screw up a tenderloin.  It is virtually impossible.  Hence, we eat tenderloin often. 
  3. Potatoes--baked--see above.  Put potatoes in the oven.  Take out when you get home from driving your kids to practice. Slather in butter, salt, cheese, etc.  Can be a meal...so can cereal. 
  4. Chocolate chip cookie bars ---I make these for pretty much every tailgate.  Why? because it is a hundred times faster than making individual cookies. Use the recipe Anne Romney stole from the back of the chocolate chip bag.  I usually triple the batch  (this involves fractions, be prepared), take a third of the chipless dough and put it into a 9x13 pan, then add chips to the rest of the dough and put it into 2 other pans.  Tailgate ready desserts.  Fast, easy and delicious. 
  5. Peanut butter crackers: Take crackers (saltines, Ritz, Club) and a jar of peanut butter. Knife is optional.  Scoop peanut butter on cracker, top with another cracker or eat open faced.  Done. I lived on these in law school and are great for any meal. I got this recipe from my mom.  She made these both times in 12 years that she ever packed my school lunch. This is a true story.  ***Special gluten free version**** Use Glutino crackers and almond butter (The regular glutino crackers are actually really good. I went through a very brief gluten free stage, until I realized that gluten free and calorie free were not even close to synonymous. Lesson learned)
  6. Mexican dip:  This is a for real meal and though I know everyone has a version of this, I swear this one I actually made up, because it originally came from a serious recipe that I reduced to its most basic form. Nate loves this. The rest of my family... meh. I make it a lot because it takes five minutes: Take two pounds of ground sirloin. Brown it in a pan.  Throw in some salsa (any kind is fine) then put cheddar cheese on top. Turn off the heat, the cheese will melt and you are done.  Seriously, best homemade five minute meal ever. Serve with soft taco shells or Tostitos.   ********Special Gluten Free version******skip the tostitos and the shells.  Eat with spoon. 
  7. Bacon: buy the very best bacon you can find--I recommend Neutskes or the bacon from the meat counter at that new Festival Foods.   Put it in a fry pan and watch the love sizzle.  (We have been on a bacon bender--I even have a special bacon glove to prevent those perilous grease splatters). ***** already gluten free!!********
  8.  Omelet:  I make one of these almost every morning. (for me) Take two eggs, crack them open into bowl, (I need these kind of explicit instructions) stir with a fork, put eggs in little skillet sprayed with Pam, when the eggs start to cook, add some cheese and salsa on one side, then flip up the other side onto the salsa and cheese. This is a real live omelet!! I could actually serve this to people not related to me.  Remove from pan.   *****Gluten free again******Bingage!   
  9. Vodka and Cranberry Juice:   Put some Grey Goose in a glass.  Add cranberry juice to taste. Enjoy! *****Gluten free version*****leave out the cranberry juice.     
  10. Tailgate Soup: Finally!! This is a real recipe and many people have asked me for it. It has a TON of ingredients, so you know it didn't originate with me. I got it from Sue Chiappetta and unlike Anne Romney, I am giving her full and total credit.  I make 10 times the recipe for tailgates. You can do whatever you want.  
    • 1 lb of italian sausage--I use turkey italian sausage (the hot kind--it's not as greasy) 
    • 1 onion, chopped
    • 3 cups of water
    • 1 tsp dried basil
    • 1 tsp dried oregano
    • 10 or 12 baby carrots
    • 1 zucchini sliced (sometimes I leave this out) 
    • 1 27 oz can of tomato soup
    • 1 can of cannellini beans ( I always leave these out...don't like beans) 
    • 1 can of diced tomatoes (with liquid)
    • 9 oz cheese tortellini 
    • 1/4 cup of red wine
    • 2 Tbsp of olive oil
    • 2 Tbsp of balsamic vinegar
    • 2 tsp of chicken bouillon
    • Parmesan cheese   
Cook sausage and onion over medium heat, drain thoroughly.  Stir in the remaining ingredients, except for the parmesan cheese.  Heat to boiling, cover and simmer for 20 minutes.  Serve with parmesan cheese sprinkled on top.  Sit back and watch the crowds flock to you.  

I am reciped out. Take that, Pioneer Woman.  Ten full fledged recipes in one post.  Winner--Me.

Right about here, the Pioneer woman would have a picture of some food she made.  That is not going to happen EVER--unless the food has the image of the Virgin Mary or Teddy Roosevelt or something on it.  I hate when people show you their meals--mostly because unless they are going to share some with me, it just seems mean.  Instead, here is a picture of Chris, back when he was a 98 lb weakling. Even back then he was dating way above his pay grade.  ("Gee, Chris, you look kind of pale. Have you been tested for diseases lately?"....see the Harry Potter Dear Readers, Christmas reference below)  The moral to all of these photos? People grow (and shrink) a lot over the years. Be patient and sometimes good things will happen. And sometimes not...("Well at least I'm not a hideous F****"---Dear Readers, again) 

                                                                                                                   
Lo, ho, ho, Dear Readers, Here is today's top ten: 

1.The Harry Potter, Dear Reader Christmas voice over.  It's the very, merry best. See for yourself at:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0I-jZ7OB0c  

2. Phillip Seymour Hoffman--a terrifically talented actor.   

3. J McLaughlin winter sale--Do NOT miss this sale, particularly the Panama wrap dress. Best dress ever. http://www.jmclaughlin.com/sale/women/panama-wrap-dress.html  

4. And the men's sale at J McLaughlin is aces as well.  Check out the corduroy shirts. The red one would be a perfect Valentine's gift...if you go for that sort of thing...Valentine's Day, I mean.  

5.  Bridget Jones: Mad about the Boy  by Helen Fielding. The latest in the Bridget Jones series, and Bridget is all grown up.  It's sweet and fun to read. 

6.  The Budweiser returning soldier ad. In a very weak pool of Super Bowl ads, (and an even weaker Super Bowl game) this one stood out.  

7.Jimmy Fallon--I can't wait for him to rule late night from his proper throne and time slot. 

8. The ice pink Burberry quilted baby jacket.  The red and blue are adorable as well, but the pale pink is so, so sweet.  Terrific baby gift for your favorite new arrival. 

9.   Clarissa Pinkola Estes--she's an amazing poet and essayist who is just so smart. She authored one of my favorite quotations: "Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach. 

10. The Winter Olympics!! USA, USA, USA. Feb. 6th, Baby.  Go for the gold. 

I promise I will get over the Dear Reader references soon.  I eventually stopped singing "Say Something".  It may take a while, though.  Sorry.